spherr Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 Anyone else feel like they are getting somewhere with someone you like and then it just ends for no reason? I just had that happen to me today and it totally sucks! Their was a guy that I really liked. I already went on one date with him and it went VERY well (better than I expected). We have been talking for a while and earlier in the week I told him I had a big crush on him. He was happy about that. Anyway, last night I decided to add him on facebook. I found out he did add me, but then decided to remove me as a friend right after that. He hasn't responded to any of the texts I sent to him after that. I just don't get why he would all of a sudden be so uninterested in me. Nothing on my profile is shocking, in fact its kinda boring. It pissed me off at first, but now I'm glad it happened. If hes going to be like this over a profile, I'm glad his true colors showed now. I'm so tempted to just tell him off but I'm guessing thats probably not a good idea? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator TrueFreedom Posted May 25, 2012 Moderator Share Posted May 25, 2012 sorry to hear it, spherr--takes time to build a history with people--best to be rid of them before they real you in and stab you in the back of course, it might just not be the right time... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 Weird! I don't even know what to make of it! And yes, dating is hard. Feel for ya..... [[[hugs]]] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galien Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 More like I wonder who is on his facebook that he doesn't want to see you.... A lot of people are seeing more than one person. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sybaris Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 More like I wonder who is on his facebook that he doesn't want to see you.... A lot of people are seeing more than one person. This My money says he has a girlfriend or an on/off thing with someone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdaddy Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 Just FYI, spherr is a dude. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 Just FYI, spherr is a dude. Still, maybe the guy has a GF......BF.......both........ Facebook, in which we live in each others pockets, is so creepy and complicated. My gawd, you can't friend, attend or do anything without the whole world finding out! Alternate hypothesis: I wonder if he had an iPhone or BlackBerry button-pushing malfunction. I have oopsed on stuff like this, more with BlackBerry than with iPhone. (If he uses a BlackBerry, well, talk about true colors and good riddance......lol...JOKES) You could message him.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JadedAtheist Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 If you had only been on one date and you have already told him you got a lot of feelings for him he might have freaked. He may have accidentally added you and that's why he removed you. You just might be sending strong signals which he isn't ready for. I am fairly passionate guy and I always have to be careful not to scare people off. It's been a hard lesson for me to learn that most people don't want deep intense relationships like I do, even if you're dating the person which is just bizarre to me. My sympathies and I hope you find the right one for you. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 Anyone else feel like they are getting somewhere with someone you like and then it just ends for no reason? Story of my life. Well most of it anyway. There were a few exceptions (to the last of these I'm still married ). I don't know for what reasons guys might do such a thing, although I guess the facebook-specific stuff that's been mentioned already may well be the explanation. For girls I've come to the conclusion that they simply get afraid that this might actually work out. Whatever the reason, the vast majority of females likes to see itself on the suffering side - suddenly having a lover who cares and might stay with them might ruin that masochistic fantasy. If the reason is something else, I damn well want to know the truth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrotherJosh Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 I have a gay friend here that encounters the same behavior, over and over again. I'm not sure what region of Pennsylvania you live in. I live in a more liberal area of Idaho, which still means it's conservative, comparatively. Meaning, my gay friend is trying to date and have a relationship with another man. These other men, aren't particularly looking for the same thing, since some are married, confused, have GF's, or are too embarrassed to come out. Not saying that's the situation you are encountering, but it's something to consider. The current climate in many states, is that of derision and intolerance, so many of these men may be afraid to openly date someone. Just my two cents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spherr Posted May 25, 2012 Author Share Posted May 25, 2012 More like I wonder who is on his facebook that he doesn't want to see you.... A lot of people are seeing more than one person. Yeah, that is possible. But why would he accept the friend request and then freak out? This isn't the only guy who freaked out like this. Over the past couple years, I've become more comfortable with being out I know that could threaten some of them. I don't come out in a big announcement to new people, but they find out/figure out over time. I'm not going to lie about me if someone asked me either. I'm considering just taking a break this summer from dating...getting rid of accounts from dating sites and enjoy time with friends and family instead. I've just been screwed over with dating so far the past couple months I think it would be beneficial. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdaddy Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 Sorry spherr....I can't imagine how much more difficult it must be to be in your shoes. I live in Arkansas and I can't even begin to think about how hard it would be if I was gay, even today. One of my best friends just passed, only 32 years old. He was gay, and while I don't think that was THE cause of it (he basically just destroyed his body thru drugs and alcohol- he was major major depressed from lots of things, one being a very bad, abusive relationship he was in with a much older guy), I know it played some kind of factor. I'm not sure he ever really understood that we accepted him for who he was. Actually I'm almost certain he didn't. Idk. We all miss him very much. GREAT guy. I wish you all the best and hope you find someone that treats you like you deserve to be treated. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scriptor Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 Is he out? My first thought is that maybe he's not ready for people to know, and he freaked out thinking that maybe people will make the connection if you're on his facebook. But I could be entirely wrong. As for taking a break from dating, it may not be a bad idea. For myself, before I met my wife I took a long break from dating. I found that in order to be successful in a relationship, I first needed to be completely ok with being single. Once I was happy being single, I was able to find the right person, and not just whoever was available. But maybe that's just me. In any case, I hope you find the right guy for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stryper Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 Anyone else feel like they are getting somewhere with someone you like and then it just ends for no reason? I just had that happen to me today and it totally sucks! Their was a guy that I really liked. I already went on one date with him and it went VERY well (better than I expected). We have been talking for a while and earlier in the week I told him I had a big crush on him. He was happy about that. Anyway, last night I decided to add him on facebook. I found out he did add me, but then decided to remove me as a friend right after that. He hasn't responded to any of the texts I sent to him after that. I just don't get why he would all of a sudden be so uninterested in me. Nothing on my profile is shocking, in fact its kinda boring. It pissed me off at first, but now I'm glad it happened. If hes going to be like this over a profile, I'm glad his true colors showed now. I'm so tempted to just tell him off but I'm guessing thats probably not a good idea? A few thoughts. 1) He was already in a relationship. 2) He maybe had a stupid hang up with something you posted or liked or what have you. 3) He wasn't as interested as he led on. 4) He doesn't really know what he wants. 5) Adding as a friend on facebook might have been to much of a commitment for him. Don't bother texting or calling him. At this point just let it go. Sometimes you gotta kiss alot of frogs before you find your prince. I would also suggest match.com or eharmony.com. I met a girlfriend of 4 years off an online site and I know two different couples who met and are now married, one with kids, off of match.com. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spherr Posted May 25, 2012 Author Share Posted May 25, 2012 As for taking a break from dating, it may not be a bad idea. For myself, before I met my wife I took a long break from dating. I found that in order to be successful in a relationship, I first needed to be completely ok with being single. Once I was happy being single, I was able to find the right person, and not just whoever was available. But maybe that's just me. In any case, I hope you find the right guy for you. I am very comfortable with being single, I have been for over 2 and a half years now. Every time I seem to put myself out there, I just get screwed over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackpudd1n Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 If the reason is something else, I damn well want to know the truth. Poor self-esteem, unrealistic expectations, lack of self-awareness, waiting for something better to come along (which may never), superficial concerns such as looks, job security, or social status, trust issues, insecurity, social awkwardness, bad role models... and maybe they just get to know someone and decide that there's something they really don't like about them. Like the sweet guy I dated, who couldn't handle my g-string peeping out over the top of my jeans when I sat down. It was so fucking annoying, constantly getting told to pull up my jeans, or having him trying to. Um, I'm sitting down. Not much I could do about the way my jeans went when I sat down, dude. I kept telling him to get over it, that it was just underwear, but he couldn't handle it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdaddy Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 Wow, that's something I would be IN to. Am I a perv? lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackpudd1n Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 Wow, that's something I would be IN to. Am I a perv? lol No, you're just not muslim LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scriptor Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 As for taking a break from dating, it may not be a bad idea. For myself, before I met my wife I took a long break from dating. I found that in order to be successful in a relationship, I first needed to be completely ok with being single. Once I was happy being single, I was able to find the right person, and not just whoever was available. But maybe that's just me. In any case, I hope you find the right guy for you. I am very comfortable with being single, I have been for over 2 and a half years now. Every time I seem to put myself out there, I just get screwed over. Well then that just sucks. Sorry dude. I'm sure things will work out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scriptor Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 Wow, that's something I would be IN to. Am I a perv? lol Not a perv, just a normal guy. Unless I'm a perv too... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stryper Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 Wow, that's something I would be IN to. Am I a perv? lol If you have to ask..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdaddy Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 Well I may as well fess up to my closet full of Ubangy midget porn of I'm going to be labeled. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spherr Posted May 26, 2012 Author Share Posted May 26, 2012 I am very comfortable with being single, I have been for over 2 and a half years now. Every time I seem to put myself out there, I just get screwed over. Well then that just sucks. Sorry dude. I'm sure things will work out. I think over time they will be. Tonight with this along with other stuff occuring (crap and drama from work, tomorrow being the anniversary of my grandpa's passing) I'm a complete mess. I just wanna stay in my room and cry all night. Maybe this will be beneficial...its been built up and I need to let something out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdaddy Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 Release the hounds. Get a good cry in if you need to. Life's a bitch but were all in this mf'er together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike D Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 Dating sucks when you're straight - but it sucks even worse when you're gay! I stopped dating years ago, too much drama and too many fucked up guys with issues. I recommend taking an AK-47 or an Uzi 9mm to the shooting range and emptying the clip a few times. You'll feel like a new man 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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