Jake49 Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 I'm just playing with words with the title. But I wanted to write this out as my own experience. I could spend a long time refining something like this... making it more concise and with less nonsense... (I haven't started writing it yet, but I know what I'm like lol)... and I know it's probably going to be the perspective of a hurt child, but although I've dealt with so much of that.. some stuff is still there. I say the Ghosts of Christians Past... not to suggest beings of a spiritual presence.... but just personifying (ghostifying lol) some ideas. Might be a ridiculous way of putting this, but it's my way of putting this, as a result of pondering in the shower then coming here to scribble for 30 mins. There's 3 "Ghosts" in this... One is the Ghost of Society represented by the profoundly sick society I live in which is really big, looming... it is crewel, enslaving, abusive, imprisoning, manipulative, oppressive... Which came to me as a child and told me who I was... It relentlessly visited me between the age of 3 to 16... reminding me of who I am. When I was 17 I burnt out and I called out for help. Something happened and I started to learn... When I was 18, another Ghost came to me, the Ghost of Christianity.... it also told me who I was... the same thing that the Ghost of Society told me... the Ghost of Christianity: "You are worthless, you have no value.. love is not for you.. anything in this life that you would love, is not for you.. even if you got something you love, you would ruin it.. if you were part of something you would ruin it for everyone else.. You are so filthy, detestable, useless... and more than that, you offend what is good... because your very nature is an offense against love, you are sin... and where you belong, is not just permenantly exluded from life and love... but you belong in a place of agony and anguish... But.... I want you to think about something..... I want you to think about the dream in your heart... I want you to open up to me.... your dream that there is something for you in this life. Hahah ridiculous right? But I can give you more than that... I can give you something beyond your wildest dreams... I have this cloak... and when you wear it, you are worthy of love... there is an abundance of things that are FOR YOU!... you can have love, peace, family, morality... Listen.. without this cloak... you can't have any of those things in this world... With this cloak, your value is immeasurable and you can wear it FOREVER... and when you die you belong in places where things that are valued go.. When you wear this, you get a father who loves you... and you are a beautiful, valuable child worthy of immeasurable, unconditional love.. But don't you ever forget something Without that cloak... you are a worthless little cunt. You stink to your father, who detests you and you don't just belong out of his sight, out of his family... but you belong in anguish and pain... becuase you ARE pain... you ARE the hurt in this world... But let's not look too deeply into that for now.... first, let me tell you lots more about how much God loves you...." So that ghost reinforced my chains and put a magic cloak around me for 8 years. Throughout my life a more subtle Ghost has been there... The Ghost of my Heart... telling me, "You are good". It never screamed in my face... it was always a whisper in my heart... and it kept me going through a lot... I spoke to it when I played the piano... when I looked at the stars... when I drew something... when I laughed... when I looked out of an aeroplane window at night and saw cities lit up... when I was on the beech in Bahrain the last time my family was together when I was 3.. when I lay in bed at night and dreamed.. but mostly when I made music... since I was 6... I could leave this world and the chains would fall off, and I would talk freely to the Ghost of my heart. And over a long time... the ghost of my heart kept coming to me and saying, "You are good".. and I felt it was true, deeper than anything else I knew... I felt it was true... even though no one else could ever see that... no matter what good things they said, they were just looking at what I wanted them to see... no one could ever see me, apart from the ghost of my heart. And just recently, the ghost of my heart carefully removed a chain with "Jesus" written on it. From 26 to 28... the ghost of my hearts voice has been speaking with more clarity and strength... saying, "You are good. You always were. Nothing you can do can change that, nothing anyone said or did to you can change that.... You are connected with everything... and there's death and pain in this life... but if you want to see who you are... if you want to see how valuable you are... how worthy of love... You can never know the fullness of this... all you can do is stand overwhelmed and in awe of it... when you look up into the sky, when you overlook mountains, when you see oceans, nature, creatures.... you are connected with it all... you are part of the same quantum field of energy as everything... You are one with it all..... The beautiful music you listen to is not something external... it is frequencies resonating and lighting up the beauty of who you are.... When you see the skies and sun and water.. you are not experiencing something external.. you are experiencing a glimpse of the experience of who you are...... Connect with yourself... do what you love, listen to what you love, go to places you love..." Gil Scott-Heron said, "What we need is self love and self respect: By Every Means Necessary! Unfortunately it is not easy to love yourself after years of self hatred. We see evidence of self hatred and self destruction in every city. We must make the extra effort needed to identify the true enemies of our piece and peace of mind. A beginning might be recognition of the fact that through we are all trapped and enslaved by economic boundaries and geographical boundaries we are still capable of spiritual freedom, supported by truth.” I've had a growing awareness of this, especially in the last 2 years when I left Christianity......... I made a piece of music JUST after I left church after 8 years... feeling disillusioned.... and although is "sounds" like it has a Christian tone to it.... it's not... The track is called Homing Beacon... The homing beacon is what "The Ghost of My heart" put in my heart... The lyrics go: I hear a sound, in who I am more real than anything I know You put a homing beacon in my heart in its stillness I align in my flow it is a sound no man has made or anything that is of this world. It's all that was, and all that is, and all that will ever be. The sound says (The Ghost of my heart says to me) worthy, worthy are you, worthy you are for my love. The sound says (The Ghost of my heart says to me) worthy, worthy are you, worthy you are for my love. http://soundcloud.com/jake49/homing-beacon I linked this one before... but this is from last week... Part the Ghost of my heart (I only made that name up for this writing lol) taking the chain of Jesus off me.. and recent one about self love and self respect... and something (rushing...) And this is the Ghost of my Heart saying: I AM YOU Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
secondtry Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 Wow, these are so epic! I'm really enjoying them all and following your other threads. Are you always this prolific or is the deconversion really helping your output on another level. Well, working with acts and film and deadlines and all, I suppose you've developed your instincts in a way that makes you churn out outstanding work pretty quickly. As a late starter in music (though I do produce using software and songwrite and sing, only just bought multiple instruments and trying to learn music/audio engineering/songwriting theory at a deep level), I find I have so much to learn/upgrade. I enjoy being a music student more than trying to create nowadays. So I mostly store up emotional stuff I can translate into music until I feel like I have the skills to do a great job. How did you develop your craft? how did you get into the business? Hopefully in a year or two, I'll have upgraded my skills in my areas of concern enough to feel more overall confidence as an artist. And then, I will ask you for a collaboration or two . As a christian, merely moving into the agnostic phase and staying there for about 2 years was enough to severely disrupt my musical journey 4 or 5 years ago because that marked the beginning of a great depression I only just overcame this year. As a christian, I expected misfortune and trusted my faith would console me. It was when I felt suicidal despite praying and fasting and patience that I gave my self permission to research and decide objectively if God was there. (which I , like many others, expected would lead to a stronger faith and not atheism). Although I definitely avoided the gospel artist label, my christianity often seeped into my conception of songs or instrumentals half the time. Whether I felt a song or an instrumental was inspired by God or the lyrics would make direct references to my christian beliefs every now and then, it became hard to seperate my artistic persona from my dying christian identity...eventhough I never considered myself a gospel artist as I wrote love songs with 'God' mentioned as an afterthought some of the time. I can only imagine the havoc that a deconversion would cause on someone who considers themselve a gospel artist. I had to pull down my artist pages and comeup with a new artist name to disassociate myself from that old artistic self whose christian faith often trickled into his works despite not wanting to be preachy. Other times, I didn't bother resisting. For example, I have an instrumental in progress called "my blessings do not ever peak" with planned lyrics that were to go... "heaven help me sing the highest praise, angels help me sing the sweetest song never have I felt such a burden raised I know my purpose in life now" I still love the joyous feel of the instrumental. I never got to doing the arrangement thanks to my deconversion and although I do feel much burden raised since leaving christianity for good ,I hate how in my mind this instrumental theme that I like musically can never be "unlinked" emotionally from the fact that I conceived it 100% with 'God' in mind. Maybe because I had already conceived of the lyrics and title. I've been lucky with one other favorite instrumental of mine that was originally conceived to praise 'God' in that I'm able to redirect it to a thank you song to my mom that even references my loss of faith and it works well enough that it doesn't bring to mind my original motivation when I conceived it.(i do manage to have a short transitioning musical motif in there that goes..."I can't say that I believe in God, but I thank God for (my mom's name)" back to you and your songs...I wonder how do you now process songs you wrote/were in the middle of when you were a christian? Would you still sell those works or consent to their being used by a christian movie, by a christian artist, etc. If a christian act wanted you to work with them, including contributing lyrics, would you be open? would you try to channel the ghost of your christian past in helping them to create a good product, or would it be too painful? would it feel like a conflict of interest...or rather a challenge welcomed...like an actor would see a role that hits close to home for one reason or another. interesting questions I've pondered and that once fueled my depression. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voice Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 This is pretty cool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake49 Posted May 29, 2012 Author Share Posted May 29, 2012 Wow, these are so epic! I'm really enjoying them all and following your other threads. Are you always this prolific or is the deconversion really helping your output on another level. Well, working with acts and film and deadlines and all, I suppose you've developed your instincts in a way that makes you churn out outstanding work pretty quickly. As a late starter in music (though I do produce using software and songwrite and sing, only just bought multiple instruments and trying to learn music/audio engineering/songwriting theory at a deep level), I find I have so much to learn/upgrade. I enjoy being a music student more than trying to create nowadays. So I mostly store up emotional stuff I can translate into music until I feel like I have the skills to do a great job. How did you develop your craft? how did you get into the business? Hopefully in a year or two, I'll have upgraded my skills in my areas of concern enough to feel more overall confidence as an artist. And then, I will ask you for a collaboration or two . From how I feel about my thinking and what I say..... I can't really sum it up... but I feel that I over think, and where a sentence would do, I write a paragraph.. and throw out lots of nonsense... only some people can pick sense out of my nonsense. I don't mean that in a negative way towards myself, I just think that I get a bit lost when I try and express myself... because deep down, I think I'm actually really terrified about being vulnerable and showing my heart... so when I try and express something in words or music, although something comes out, it's gone through so much thought and worrying, "what will people think when they hear this or read this"... "how can I put it in a way that people can see it a certain way"... I think if I was able to stop all that, I would feel much more relaxed and say things in a simple way. But I'm really grateful for your words... it's always a real relief that something connects with someone and we can relate and understand each other .... I'm just saying all that above this, because that's part of how I really feel about what I'm writing... I just hope that I can continue to try and express myself, and that it will make more sense... I'm happy that you picked sense out of my nonsense I'm constantly creating every day, so I do approach many things in a way of constructing something. I don't know if that's good or bad... but that's how I express myself. I think there's a lot of over thinking and worrying and fear I need to resolve at the root... but one step at a time! That's awesome to hear about your music. You mentioned about collaboration one day... It doesn't really matter at all where you feel you are at today, I would be happy to collaborate whenever you would like to. Even in something you would consider unfinished, not ready and part of your "churning out music" process to develop your skills in composition and production.... Inside that music, those melodies... however unrefined, are the most awesome frequencies that I can see and appreciate. If you would like to start putting your sketches of music and finished tracks online, in a community where people give you feedback (the etiquette on this online music community is that if you comment on someone elses music, they will comment on some of your music).. It is NOT a community of critical people who shoot down your work... people are 9 times out of 10 positive and constructive with their feedback and comments.. it's called www.acidplanet.com if you are interested. I haven't been on for a while... but I have about 100 pieces of music on their over the last few years... and it was a great place to get my stuff out there and talk and collaborate with other musicians. "How do you develop your craft" I use the same language )... Well, I develop my craft by sitting down in front of my equipment... and making whatever I feel like making. I enjoy it and I love it.... They say that if you have a basic talent in something, if you do 10,000 hours in it, you will become "world class" in that skill/ability/craft.... That's 5 hours a day for 5 years.... So this is the whole "practice" idea. Which makes a lot of sense to me. But putting the whole "practice" thing to one side....... If you just love making music and it's what you want to do... my angle would be, just go for it! churn that music out... get your equipment setup so you feel it's nice to sit down in front of it.. and you have the sounds you want (what are you using? software? virtual instruments? what level are your keyboard skills? which isn't that important... but just out of interest)... "how did you get into the business" I developed my craft, by churning out music... I LOVE playing the piano... it's like breathing to me... and so I would find a piano somewhere and sit and play whatever I wanted to play... and develop my skills. I planned what equipment I needed and saved up for it.... I made decisions like, "This is what I want to do for my job too".... so I thought about the steps I needed to take..... saw a course in music for film and television... went and studied that... didn't finished the course, but I learned a lot. I kept creating and producing... the hours just went in over the years from my love of it. Then I said, Ok, time to take it to the next level... What equipment do I need? (not HOW do I get it.... but WHAT do I need)..... Wrote it all down... and I needed £5000... So I searched online... considered loans, borrowing, grants, investments........ explored all these different routes.... and saw that a grant would be the best option.... searched more... found something called "The Princes Trust"... which gives grants to people wanting to start a new business. Long story short, I got £3000 from them and £2000 loan. Got that equipment 2 years ago... and have been working with it a lot. I didn't know how I would get work... but I just started churning out more music... creating a showreel... emailing people... telling them I'm happy to do any projects, even ones with no budget for free.... did a few of these.. someone noticed, sent me an email... "Hi I heard that music you did for.... bla bla... how is your schedule next month and would you be interested in a project, paid work?"... Then the mission is just PUT A SMILE ON THEIR FACES with the music you give them for the project.... so the client is like, "We LOVE the music!"... That comes from all that preparation you did... all those hours you churned out music... Then the next time they have a project, they contact you again, because you delivered the results..... and they tell their director, producer friends about you.... and 6 months later... I had several people sending me projects... Canon, Proctor and Gamble, Tissot, Taikoo Hui, CCTV, The British Counsel, Huawei Mobile, Oppein, Royal Furniture... etc etc... and I shit myself every time I get a project becuase I think, "HOW am I going to pull this off!!?"... But again, that's where all that work you put in comes from... and it works out So like MANY things... if you want to develop something to a level where it has value in an industry... Just get your grafting hat on, and grind away all the time at it... love it, enjoy it... I would personally recommend just playing and creating whatever you want to make... whatever you RESONATE with and vibe with... create that... EXPRESS like you said already those emotions and feelings.. whatever your heart is feeling and saying. Would be great to collaborate with you, even a small project for fun... doesn't have to be serious or "for" anything... other than just creating As a christian, merely moving into the agnostic phase and staying there for about 2 years was enough to severely disrupt my musical journey 4 or 5 years ago because that marked the beginning of a great depression I only just overcame this year. As a christian, I expected misfortune and trusted my faith would console me. It was when I felt suicidal despite praying and fasting and patience that I gave my self permission to research and decide objectively if God was there. (which I , like many others, expected would lead to a stronger faith and not atheism). Although I definitely avoided the gospel artist label, my christianity often seeped into my conception of songs or instrumentals half the time. Whether I felt a song or an instrumental was inspired by God or the lyrics would make direct references to my christian beliefs every now and then, it became hard to seperate my artistic persona from my dying christian identity...eventhough I never considered myself a gospel artist as I wrote love songs with 'God' mentioned as an afterthought some of the time. I can only imagine the havoc that a deconversion would cause on someone who considers themselve a gospel artist. I had to pull down my artist pages and comeup with a new artist name to disassociate myself from that old artistic self whose christian faith often trickled into his works despite not wanting to be preachy. Other times, I didn't bother resisting. For example, I have an instrumental in progress called "my blessings do not ever peak" with planned lyrics that were to go... "heaven help me sing the highest praise, angels help me sing the sweetest song never have I felt such a burden raised I know my purpose in life now" I still love the joyous feel of the instrumental. I never got to doing the arrangement thanks to my deconversion and although I do feel much burden raised since leaving christianity for good ,I hate how in my mind this instrumental theme that I like musically can never be "unlinked" emotionally from the fact that I conceived it 100% with 'God' in mind. Maybe because I had already conceived of the lyrics and title. I've been lucky with one other favorite instrumental of mine that was originally conceived to praise 'God' in that I'm able to redirect it to a thank you song to my mom that even references my loss of faith and it works well enough that it doesn't bring to mind my original motivation when I conceived it.(i do manage to have a short transitioning musical motif in there that goes..."I can't say that I believe in God, but I thank God for (my mom's name)" It's really wonderful to hear a part of your journey... there's pretty much no one I can talk to about this kind of journey, the changes and transitions.... it's great to hear part of your experiences and changes... same for me too, such a change that brings changes to so many other things. Actually dealing with taking out "Jesus" and "Christianity" after it has been foundational for so long... it kind of brings this unbalance to everything. Anyway, thanks for sharing part of your journey.. I really appreciate that back to you and your songs...I wonder how do you now process songs you wrote/were in the middle of when you were a christian? Would you still sell those works or consent to their being used by a christian movie, by a christian artist, etc. If a christian act wanted you to work with them, including contributing lyrics, would you be open? would you try to channel the ghost of your christian past in helping them to create a good product, or would it be too painful? would it feel like a conflict of interest...or rather a challenge welcomed...like an actor would see a role that hits close to home for one reason or another. interesting questions I've pondered and that once fueled my depression. Really interesting! Well... to say from the other side... I have all kinds of views and understanding now which I feel I compromise on. For example, I made the music for a product launch for a mobile phone a couple of months ago. It had to be dramatic and full of energy for a display at an event and online video.. Ok, so what am I doing?..... Mobile phones have a planned obsolescence... they are DESIGNED to break down and require mantenance and replacement... That is SOOOOOOO shit for the environment... and it's what our world does in a monetary system. So if I'm promoting this phone with my music... In most cases I would be ok with working with a Christian act. No matter how much damage I cause by promoting and reinforcing these things.... What I will do with the money I get from it, will be a far greater force in this world in deconstructing religion and the monetary system than what I reinforced... I would not apply that idea to everything.... but right now, I just need to build up my studio. I want to build a creative production house with recording studios, video editing suits, web design studio, tv, raidio and internet broadcasting studio, animation, live rooms, chill out rooms...... and create alternative media which has a different message/frequency to main stream stuff. I have step by step plans which need finance... So I will work on things which compromise SOME of my values... As bad as that may be... that's ok by my consciounce "Would you channel your ghost of Christian past"... Yes, except I'll remember that the God of Christianity is "the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully.” (Richard Dawkins) So if "God" is here... God is not the Christian God.... and IF God is here and if God has a sense of humor.... God would laugh Gods ass off at me jumping in with Christians to make music with them saying (well I doubt that... but I'm saying this with tongue in cheek): "Hallelujah! Praise the Lord! Jesus I lift your name up! You are so worthy Lord!..... Hey! Guys! Let's pray!...... Hold my hand, let's do this! Lord, thank you for your love! YEAH! AMEN! And I pray that the music we make today glorifies YOUR name! PRAISE GOD! YEAH!".. Lol, not that this is how I would behave..... but I would make lots of effort in staying true to myself if I did something like that.... Because I believe in LOVE..... and I can quote them them stuff "If you do not know love, you do not know God, because God is love"..... and I can find so many points where I can relate with some of the core beliefs of what Christianity is SUPPOSED to be about. That I can make the experience not feel like I'm compromising... even though I'm promoting Christianity on some level..... in the bigger picture, I would do it, because I don't have an understanding which makes my consciounce feel otherwise. Ok I'm writing quite a lot here. Great to meet you and give me a shout whenever you'd like to work on something! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake49 Posted May 29, 2012 Author Share Posted May 29, 2012 soz, didn't think I wrote that much Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
secondtry Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 From how I feel about my thinking and what I say..... I can't really sum it up... but I feel that I over think, and where a sentence would do, I write a paragraph.. and throw out lots of nonsense... only some people can pick sense out of my nonsense. I don't mean that in a negative way towards myself, I just think that I get a bit lost when I try and express myself... because deep down, I think I'm actually really terrified about being vulnerable and showing my heart... so when I try and express something in words or music, although something comes out, it's gone through so much thought and worrying, "what will people think when they hear this or read this"... "how can I put it in a way that people can see it a certain way"... I think if I was able to stop all that, I would feel much more relaxed and say things in a simple way. But I'm really grateful for your words... it's always a real relief that something connects with someone and we can relate and understand each other .... I'm just saying all that above this, because that's part of how I really feel about what I'm writing... I just hope that I can continue to try and express myself, and that it will make more sense... I'm happy that you picked sense out of my nonsense yep. i can relate to a lot of what u've said here. no wander I tend to lurk forums rather than post; too much editing and then I take forever to post. working on that too. lol. We can be our own worst critics; not too bad a quality in creating art actually as it a sign of caring deeply about the product or the audience. I'd be more worried if I wasn't critical enough in music creation at least. on vulnerability- yeah, I find it challenging too finding the balance between distance and being completely open with the audience. I tend towards being too vulnerable and I'm not always comfortable with it...that is my main motivation for studying songwriting/storytelling...getting better at finding universal(read fictional ) ways to express common intense feeling without completely overwhelming the audience while at the same time moving them enough. Some do say the audience shouldn't get too close...shooing them back a bit with completely made up stuff that still captures the emotion of your personal story is a tactic i'm definitely looking forward to employing in future works. Reading up on details or "songfacts" of popular songs, it's always fun to read about urban legends or far-out audience interpretation of the lyrics that surprise even the songwriter. But then again, we are often too close to the songs to tell whether that level of vulnerability is exactly what the listener appreciates. Its never easy knowing that the responsibility mostly still lies with the listener in not being overwhelmed (if half the concern is overwhelming the listerner) because the most vulnerable songs are often the dark, haunting stuff(phil's in the air tonight comes to mind). The heavy song can be almost as emotionally draining for the listeners likely to put the song on repeat as it is for singer/composer who make it. it's on the listener to know when to stop playing the song or bring it out on another day for a fresh listen. I'm constantly creating every day, so I do approach many things in a way of constructing something. I don't know if that's good or bad... but that's how I express myself. I think there's a lot of over thinking and worrying and fear I need to resolve at the root... but one step at a time! -you are doing just fine. no artist is without insecurity. you are prolific enough as is. That's awesome to hear about your music. You mentioned about collaboration one day... It doesn't really matter at all where you feel you are at today, I would be happy to collaborate whenever you would like to. Even in something you would consider unfinished, not ready and part of your "churning out music" process to develop your skills in composition and production.... Inside that music, those melodies... however unrefined, are the most awesome frequencies that I can see and appreciate. If you would like to start putting your sketches of music and finished tracks online, in a community where people give you feedback (the etiquette on this online music community is that if you comment on someone elses music, they will comment on some of your music).. It is NOT a community of critical people who shoot down your work... people are 9 times out of 10 positive and constructive with their feedback and comments.. it's called www.acidplanet.com if you are interested. I haven't been on for a while... but I have about 100 pieces of music on their over the last few years... and it was a great place to get my stuff out there and talk and collaborate with other musicians. -Great to hear! As soon as I am ready, I'll let you know. I wasn't aware of acidplanet but i'll check them out. "How do you develop your craft" I use the same language )... Well, I develop my craft by sitting down in front of my equipment... and making whatever I feel like making. I enjoy it and I love it.... They say that if you have a basic talent in something, if you do 10,000 hours in it, you will become "world class" in that skill/ability/craft.... That's 5 hours a day for 5 years.... So this is the whole "practice" idea. Which makes a lot of sense to me. But putting the whole "practice" thing to one side....... If you just love making music and it's what you want to do... my angle would be, just go for it! churn that music out... get your equipment setup so you feel it's nice to sit down in front of it.. and you have the sounds you want (what are you using? software? virtual instruments? what level are your keyboard skills? which isn't that important... but just out of interest)... -Yeah, I've got a few years under my belt with a program called orion by synapse working with it a lot from 2004 till like 2007 but, due to depression, took a break and was more a music fan than creator till like 2010 when I started slowly re-awakening my musical ambition. I'm pretty comfortable with it and roland vsc vsti. I do make competent stuff with it but I know the future me will need a much more capable musician and audio expert. I am striving for the next level of autonomy and competency I can achieve which should only serve to open more doors. A band dynamic is something I've never known and hope to know someday; just gotta do as much learning now to setup that bright future. The ability to be prolific and to meet deadlines with no decline in artistic and technical quality are the markers that'll tell me I'm closer to that goal. I don't have that confidence yet but I do see glimpses of the artist I want to become. Right now, I have a great idea of the skillsets I need to gain to approach that. so I'm trying to invest in as much knowledge now that will make me truly truly worthy of an audience someday. I've figured I probably won't see much of that artist emerge until I'm at least 28(more like 30) and time is ticking! Most artist I admire I've found are often 5 or more years older than me (which is always a relief when I research new songs i adore).Lately been discovering more and more people that break this rule, many of them brits. elie goulding, Florence Welch, Jamie Woon, Labrinth and now you. Britains sure pumps out young talent. so late last year bought Native instrument's Komplete 8 and built a intel i5-2500k processor computer, bought focusrite scarlett 8i6, acoustic guitar, electronic guitar, bass guitar, violin, harmonica, Alesis Dm8 usb drumkit, oxygen 61 midi keyboard, and a bunch of songwriting books. I'm half-way through learning Reaper to handle my audio stuff now through groove3's 1 year membership. I will stick with orion for my beat making. Maybe I will learn ozone or t-racks next. I suppose addressing the quality of my audio/mixing and upgrading my songwriting theory before really diving into my musicianship journey are my main concern. I know addressing those two will be good enough for me to feel freer creating and collaborating again. We could probably work together in 3 months. I bought Jamplay membership too though I haven't gotten to using it yet. I am trying to set up things so that I can study all these things intensively and without interruption for a year (with a partime job or none at all if I can manage)...it won't even matter which ones I end up picking up or abandoning along the way...the experience will be so rewarding to be able to think more like a basist or a drummer. I suspect I will gravitate more naturally towards the keyboard, drums and bass guitar in the end. i don't know how violin will work out or if i will endup trying cello or trumpet... l just also need to experience one of these classical music instruments. I know just basic piano theory and can play a few songs after purchasing a piano learning product online. I was able to grab my first orchestral soundset at a deep discount (Kirk Hunters strings, brass, orchestra) around christmas. I also bought jamstix 3 for inspiration.There is so much for me to learn but I enjoy it; I wish there was some scholarship for artist development in Canada. The music programs funding seem to fund only upcoming project or formal schooling. it pains me that there doesn't seem to be much options for autodidactic fellows just interested in the actualization of their potential...something like Canada's version of prince's trust...maybe I need to search harder and contact some people to clarify things. I would be in some formal music school but I have barriers to entries (no music studies at all in highschool) and even then they would expect me to focus on an instrument and I am hellbent on learning 4 or more at the same time using various sources from personal instruction to online videos to books. I think I'll probably learn more effectively this way. Tackling 4 or more instruments at once is the way to go for me: I expect some synergistic benefit in the approach; it makes me salivate to think how engaged I'll be once all is in place. in anycase, the next two years are looking to be the most crucial in my artistic development. I don't know how much of an instrumentalist or multi-instrumentalist I will actually be at the end, but I know I will be a much more confident producer and songwriter at the end. I LOVE playing the piano... it's like breathing to me. great analogy! I feel like I'll be able to breathe better as a producer after my 1 year ish self-directed intensive learning. I can't imagine reaching 30 and not being able to play 5 or more instruments at an intermediate leve. It is crucial to my happiness to be able to relate better with different types of musicians as a producer. (I'm that starved.lol...all those wasted teenage years of me not realizing how serious with music I wanted to be) I don't know how I've survived this long without it. I feel like I can't breathe and this is diferent from my ability to make beats. I guess I'm needing the kinesthetic and better theory of it all. (My oxygen 61 I bought last year is the first studio equipment with knobs and faders I own). Do you mix and master your own works. if so, what do you use? I've found I haven't paid enough attention to this over the years. ah well, groove3 to the rescue, I think. . So like MANY things... if you want to develop something to a level where it has value in an industry... Just get your grafting hat on, and grind away all the time at it... love it, enjoy it... I would personally recommend just playing and creating whatever you want to make... whatever you RESONATE with and vibe with... create that... EXPRESS like you said already those emotions and feelings.. whatever your heart is feeling and saying. yep. I pretty much approach music making that way. I am open to influence from all musical genres and I'm still absorbing much music and knowledge. Been researching the business side too Would be great to collaborate with you, even a small project for fun... doesn't have to be serious or "for" anything... other than just creating Oh yeah, definitely!...within 3 months I promise. it feels like I have a studio session with one of the artists I regularly listen to on my ipod who would normally be out of reach for me.amazing!lol As I hear more and more of your tracks, it feels more and more like this. you should definitely sing more. what was the process for the "how can I stand by" collaboration? It's really wonderful to hear a part of your journey... there's pretty much no one I can talk to about this kind of journey, the changes and transitions.... it's great to hear part of your experiences and changes... same for me too, such a change that brings changes to so many other things. Actually dealing with taking out "Jesus" and "Christianity" after it has been foundational for so long... it kind of brings this unbalance to everything. Anyway, thanks for sharing part of your journey.. I really appreciate that Indeed. I'm very glad to have run into you here too. Really interesting! ...Well... to say from the other side... I have all kinds of views and understanding now which I feel I compromise on.... So if I'm promoting this phone with my music... In most cases I would be ok with working with a Christian act. No matter how much damage I cause by promoting and reinforcing these things.... What I will do with the money I get from it, will be a far greater force in this world in deconstructing religion and the monetary system than what I reinforced... I would not apply that idea to everything.... but right now, I just need to build up my studio. I want to build a creative production house with recording studios, video editing suits, web design studio, tv, raidio and internet broadcasting studio, animation, live rooms, chill out rooms...... and create alternative media which has a different message/frequency to main stream stuff. I have step by step plans which need finance... So I will work on things which compromise SOME of my values... As bad as that may be... that's ok by my consciounce ...That I can make the experience not feel like I'm compromising... even though I'm promoting Christianity on some level..... in the bigger picture, I would do it, because I don't have an understanding which makes my consciounce feel otherwise. haha, so I'm not the only atheist who thinks it'll be cool to win some christian music award. haha. That's one for the bucketlist. Yeah man, gotta pay the bills. I wish u the best with your production house plans. I believe in you man. Ok I'm writing quite a lot here. Great to meet you and give me a shout whenever you'd like to work on something! Will do sir! thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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