Why Can't I Ever Keep Stuff Clean And Organized?!

[SoftIce]

ARRRRRGGHHHHHH. I have chronic organization problems. It gets so bad that every half year I get to the point where I'm like 'That's IT, I'm CLEANING the den NONSTOP for 10 HOURS!' and then it will be spotless... for a couple weeks.

 

I just finished a mini cleaning spree on the corner of the den (the printer and computer tables.) I also picked up all the trash (old paper, a ritz cracker box, a section of newspaper from 2008, the missing arm from one of my gashapon figures - horray for finding it!!, etc.)

 

Now I'm totally drained, but hey... if I just stare at the one corner of the den, it looks fantastic! Too bad the rest is still a giant mess of clutter and crap though.

[Dhampir]

I know exactly how you feel. I'll wallow in my clutter for months then suddenly find myself unable to deal with it. I'm trying to lose 50% of this stuff, but I can't make myself do much of anything. How do I get motivated more frequently than once in ever?

[SoftIce]

I get motivated once in a blue moon. lol. And then sometimes it backfires and after I organize and put everything away I end up not being able to FIND something that I had previously known the location of before! (method to the madness)

 

I also hang on to the TINIEST things. Like... twisty ties or old pencils. GOD FORBID I RUN OUT OF TWISTY TIES! The world will end!

[Droptail]

I also hang on to the TINIEST things. Like... twisty ties or old pencils. GOD FORBID I RUN OUT OF TWISTY TIES! The world will end!

 

LOL. How many twisty ties are enough to satisfy that mandate?

[SoftIce]

Apparently, if I even throw away ONE it will somehow cause dire consequences! Mostly because it seems like whenever i DO need one of the damn things, they're no where to be found. It's like they get warped into some alternate dimension along with my scissors, the tape, my flash drive and any other crap that seems to randomly vanish on a regular interval.

[London]

 

 

Don teaches you to let go and Julie teaches you where to organize it.

 

3 of the best tips I use;

 

Decide on an item BEFORE it comes into your home.

 

Set limits for everything you own.

 

Find a permanent home for each item (at least until you end up getting rid of it).

 

 

I also learned that 80% of the things we think are "good items" and we plan to use them for "something" in the future (but have no clue what that could be), we don't. I have personally experienced this over and over. Donate it and enjoy less cleaning, less disorganization, more time for friends, family and fun.

 

And if none of this works, watch every episode of Hoarders back to back, always with the thought... "that is my future".

[Zaphod]

And if none of this works, watch every episode of Hoarders back to back, always with the thought... "that is my future".

 

I'm a lifelong slob and "Hoarders" is absolutely therapy and motivation for me. I also had a recent in-person eye-opener. I'm crashing with my parents right now to keep bills down while I go back to school, so I've been better about keeping things picked up as I always am when not living by myself. A couple of weeks ago, though, I revisited some old friends in the town where I used to live. We're all clutter-blind and I got to see with fresh eyes how they're living and, by extension, how I had been living. It was unpleasant. I've seen these friends plenty of times since I moved away, but due to unusual circumstances I ended up spending time in all three of their homes in the course of this last visit. I've been doing a little better at keeping things picked up since I came back.

 

A&E's "Hoarders" and TLC's "Hoarders: Buried Alive" are both on Netflix streaming.

[Vigile]

Some people just seem to have clutter follow them. I'm that guy. Fortunately, my wife is super clean and organized as I like to live in a clean home. My mother is/was the same way, so I don't know why I'm such a pig. I grew up in a spotless home, live in a spotless home now thanks to my wife, but as soon as I'm on my own, things fall apart.

 

I'm living in a hotel room for a few weeks right now and in a matter of hours, the room is full of clutter. When my wife goes to work and I'm at home working, the house is full of clutter in a matter of hours and I have to scramble to tidy up before she gets home. I don't even know how it happens. It just does.

[London]

My parents are basically hoarders. Two different kinds though and nothing like you would ever see on TV, much more mild. When you grow up in that environment where every butter tub was saved because it was for leftovers, and there would never be enough leftovers to ever fill all of those containers. And the purchasing of things in bulk, and NOT from a warehouse store, and not usually food either, or something useful like toilet paper. You have no idea that this is not "normal". That people don't usually live in an environment where you have to constantly move things to get to something else. Where things are never used because they are the "good" ones.

 

My grandmother, who was not a hoarder in any way, also had "good" things that rarely ever got used. She purchased things that fit a life she was not living but wanted to. When she died I inherited a few of those good things. I held on to them out of obligation for a number of years. They only made me sad knowing that she never got to enjoy the "good" things she treasured so much. I actually disliked them because they were not something I would ever have purchased for myself had I not inherited them. So two reasons to not have these things in my life made me get rid of them. A family member ended up getting them and they are much better used and appreciated, as they should be.

 

I own nothing that is considered the "good" china, silverware, linens, etc. I vowed that if I was going to buy it, it must be used and enjoyed. There are no special occasion things in my world, every day is a special occasion and a reason to use all the "good" things I own. This was a huge way to stop having clutter. "good" dishes and everyday dishes mean two sets of dishes. And you always have to "protect" the good ones and be very careful and usually you have to clean them very carefully or they chip, etc. It's just too much fucking work and too much crap to live with. So I decided to live a happier life.

 

Don't get me wrong, I have no problem taking care of my things, but that is because there are fewer things to care for and I really like all of them. It makes a huge difference in your life and it actually makes me much happier. I own things that I think are nice. They don't have to cost a small fortune either. I don't buy anything I don't like, I'm not trying to keep up with the neighbors or out do people in my life. I have no interest in status. Which also makes a difference in the prevention of clutter.

 

@vigile, man do I know how to make a mess fast. And it always happens when you are working on a project no matter how organized you are. I have found that the best way to prevent it long term is to schedule time to clean up. I do that when I am cooking or baking, as well as "clean as you go". But not every moment is preventable. Right now I have laundry to fold from two days ago. Bad scheduling on my part, other things take priority, like typing this post! But it will get done tomorrow because I have a limit on how long I let things sit.

 

I have found that treating your clutter and most of your life as though you are managing someone else's life, makes it easier to be more objective on what gets taken care of. Sometimes I just have to stop and be in the moment, look around and see it from outsider eyes. "Who the fuk lives here? We need to pick that shit up!"

 

I am by no means perfect but I have managed to work out a "deal" with myself. I hate waking up to a dirty kitchen so I clean it before I go to bed. Probably 3 times a month I just let it go. It's not a rule to clean it, it's just something I do because it makes the next day way more fun. And since I usually try and pick up as I go, cleaning at the end of the day is not much work at all. It takes a bit of routine to get into the habit but in the end it has paid off. I no longer have the feeling that I "have to" clean the kitchen (or most any other chore). I don't think much about it, I just do it and move on.

 

Clutter is really about emotions. Throwing things out or cleaning brings up huge, strong emotions with people. I learned to not invest in the emotional game. Instead of doing laundry you sit and watch TV. You stress about getting it done and play games like "After this show I'll start a load." And eventually it gets later and later and you may not even get a load done. Kind of lame. Makes you feel bad about your life. It's really easy to put the laundry in and then set a timer. You have 35 minutes until it needs the dryer. You can still watch TV, using a DVR makes it easier. But it's amazing how a timer will get you to do other things. "35 minutes, hmmm... wonder if the neighbor wants to have sex?"

 

I also learned that collecting things, multiple collections, is the worst thing you can ever do. I do love music so I have quite a number of CDs, but that is my limit. I read a quote about a guy who decided that he would collect money instead of other types of collections. He apparently has a big bank account. I actually like to collect space. I like to have space to move. When you grow up in clutter you don't have space. I like to keep as much open space as possible.

 

@zaphod, it's amazing to go back and see how things were. I remember looking at pictures and realizing that something was wrong. I have spent most of my life "unworking" things like this. I read in a book many years back that the clutter you see, is what your mind looks like inside. That particular thought popped into my head one day before I got home. I opened the door and was very cognative of what I thought I was going to see. But what I saw was not the slightly messy home I thought I lived in. And I realized that things needed to change. This was not the person I wanted to be. No one really lived here. It was not a home, just a place. And if that's what my mind looked like, I was clearly very unhappy.

 

My life is not perfect, not will it ever be. My hard work paid off and I feel so much freedom from all of the emotional baggage that "stuff" can do to you. I feel like I live in a "normal" amount of things, not too many and not too little. When I purged a few years back ( a massive major purge) I kept running into things and thinking to myself "Why the hell do you have this?", it was all organized so well, but still to much stuff.

 

Although not exactly the same, clutter is like religion. Religion comes with a lot of emotions we could have done without. There are so many things that make you feel bad and your quality of life goes down. Every "thing" in religion like the bible, or going to mass, or the "friendships" that are really obligations and not real friends, the "rules" to live by, the events to attend, the tithe, etc., they are all clutter. It becomes such a huge "lifestyle" foisted on you that you lost the life that you intended to live. All that "clutter" you have to have in your life in order to be xian.

 

Clutter is not just 3,000 pens scattered throughout your home. Clutter can be an emotion, thing, recurring event, or even a person.

 

For many years I thought I was finally "organized" and my life was so much better. No longer living in a mess. And then the "fool" that lives inside my body had a wakeup call. "Organized" is not the answer to clutter. Organized is just "ordered clutter". Too many things makes me unhappy and took too much time to get, organize and manage. I was under the impression it was "fixed". So the massive purge happened. It happened with the physical things and with all the emotions attached to it all. And I literally lost thousands of pounds and got a damn good workout doint it as well, win win!

 

"What can you do for me." Was the question I asked the object over and over. Most of them didn't have answers, so they were banished from the island.

 

Anyone can change how clutter controls them. It's just a switch in your brain. Once you activate it, your local thrift store will gain what you have banned from your home.

[Akheia]

My husband and I have been having the ongoing debate between "keep all the things!" and "let's live like third-century hermits" for about ten years, with no clear victors yet. Weirdly, his desire to eat with chopsticks out of his cupped palms and get rid of all the furniture doesn't seem to extend to mail. So far about the only thing that talks him into clearing all the papers, old bills, and crap off his Karma Corners (which used to be, respectively, the dining table, his desk and my vintage liquor cabinet) is moving houses. But we're moving this summer, 100% sure of it now though not sure yet precisely where, and this time the game is mine. THIS time I'm going to get him one of those hanging wall folders, and I'm going to do what I did to keep my dearly-departed cat from getting onto shelves: I'm going to stuff them full of irregularly-shaped knicknacks that make it impossible to put papers anywhere near those surfaces. This might be a dangerous mission and I may not have quite enough knicknacks to do it, but by golly I'm willing to try.

 

Also, FlyLady is awesome to learn how to keep house day-to-day.

[Will02]

GOD FORBID I RUN OUT OF TWISTY TIES! The world will end!

 

That's why I always steal a whole bunch every time I go to the market. The produce guy probably wonders where they all go.

[Akheia]

You never know. Someone might have a Frozen Food Emergency one holiday and need them. AND YOU WOULDN'T HAVE ENOUGH. I've been down that road, and it is littered with scattered frozen corn kernels and ball-bearing peas.

[London]

GOD FORBID I RUN OUT OF TWISTY TIES! The world will end!

 

That's why I always steal a whole bunch every time I go to the market. The produce guy probably wonders where they all go.

 

I hope you are not storing them all up like the chopsticks guy.

 

http://gowanuslounge.blogspot.com/2008/03/great-wallabout-chopstick-storage.html

[blackpudd1n]

I needed to read this thread, though I've been avoiding it.

 

I love living in a clean house, but I am not the best at keeping it clean. I like to blame my partner, but he is right- I am the one who makes the mess. I always have the best of intentions, though.

 

You can tell when I'm avoiding the house. I go out a lot, make excuses to not be at home.

 

Ah well. Time to put the headphones on and make a start.

[Akheia]

I think it's very true that clutter is about emotions. My sweetie mentioned the other day that he knows that I like to keep an absurdly well-stocked kitchen because I grew up ridiculously poor (like "Appalachian Foxfire subjects" kind of poor, but in Honolulu), and I get super-stressed if I'm out of something like fig balsamic or coconut milk. I find it hard to get rid of stuff too sometimes, but I've gotten to a point where my stuff is weeded through fairly well, except for shoes. It doesn't matter how cruel the shoe or how poorly-fitting, I can't seem to throw it out. This thread has inspired me--the cute Mudd Mary Janes that pinch? GONE. The 5" platform hot pink jute sandals I've never worn because they will kill me if I walk in them? GONE. The staid leather low heels a co-worker once gave me that scrape my heels? GONE! HAHAHAHAHAHA FUCKERS YOU ARE ALL GOING OUT THE DOOR!

 

Fun fact: every guy I've ever slept with has had trouble throwing away old computer components. It took me a year to talk DH into throwing out a broken laser printer. I'm still working on the six tower cases, a closet full of old cards and cords, and a Zip drive he probably found in Pompeii.

[blackpudd1n]

I think it's very true that clutter is about emotions. My sweetie mentioned the other day that he knows that I like to keep an absurdly well-stocked kitchen because I grew up ridiculously poor (like "Appalachian Foxfire subjects" kind of poor, but in Honolulu), and I get super-stressed if I'm out of something like fig balsamic or coconut milk.

 

Yeah, I have this same issue. Blankets and food. The food's getting a little ridiculous- every week I buy things "for the cupboard" or "just in case" or because "it was a really good special". I have a fear of being hungry or cold. Can't bear to see a blanket being thrown out- I've rescued a few in my time. And bought others. Hell, I even bought home a bag of polar fleece scraps from mum's house the other day that she was throwing out, to make into a blanket for the cats. Yeah, it's bad.

[Guest Babylonian Dream]

Being an organized mess, I try to do my best to keep things clean, neat and orderly. I need furniture though, that's my problem. At least I now have a bed and a shelf, on top of my boxes.

[Paine]

ARRRRRGGHHHHHH. I have chronic organization problems. It gets so bad that every half year I get to the point where I'm like 'That's IT, I'm CLEANING the den NONSTOP for 10 HOURS!' and then it will be spotless... for a couple weeks.

 

I just finished a mini cleaning spree on the corner of the den (the printer and computer tables.) I also picked up all the trash (old paper, a ritz cracker box, a section of newspaper from 2008, the missing arm from one of my gashapon figures - horray for finding it!!, etc.)

 

Now I'm totally drained, but hey... if I just stare at the one corner of the den, it looks fantastic! Too bad the rest is still a giant mess of clutter and crap though.

 

I am totally NOT JUDGING YOU>>>>> because I am SO THERE.

 

RITALIN HELPS ADULTS TOO. TRUST ME.

 

Just sayin'......

[Paine]

I think it's very true that clutter is about emotions. My sweetie mentioned the other day that he knows that I like to keep an absurdly well-stocked kitchen because I grew up ridiculously poor (like "Appalachian Foxfire subjects" kind of poor, but in Honolulu), and I get super-stressed if I'm out of something like fig balsamic or coconut milk.

 

Yeah, I have this same issue. Blankets and food. The food's getting a little ridiculous- every week I buy things "for the cupboard" or "just in case" or because "it was a really good special". I have a fear of being hungry or cold. Can't bear to see a blanket being thrown out- I've rescued a few in my time. And bought others. Hell, I even bought home a bag of polar fleece scraps from mum's house the other day that she was throwing out, to make into a blanket for the cats. Yeah, it's bad.

 

At least hoarding blankets is a PRACTICAL thing. Some people just collect the CATS.

[Akheia]

You say that, but I've got what are probably entire civilizations of giant spiders living in the many blankets I'm hoarding. Even if the power went out and my house was stuck in the middle of a snowdrift, I'm not sure I want to wrangle the spiders. At least cats are warm and soft, and generally free of arachnids.

[blackpudd1n]

I think it's very true that clutter is about emotions. My sweetie mentioned the other day that he knows that I like to keep an absurdly well-stocked kitchen because I grew up ridiculously poor (like "Appalachian Foxfire subjects" kind of poor, but in Honolulu), and I get super-stressed if I'm out of something like fig balsamic or coconut milk.

 

Yeah, I have this same issue. Blankets and food. The food's getting a little ridiculous- every week I buy things "for the cupboard" or "just in case" or because "it was a really good special". I have a fear of being hungry or cold. Can't bear to see a blanket being thrown out- I've rescued a few in my time. And bought others. Hell, I even bought home a bag of polar fleece scraps from mum's house the other day that she was throwing out, to make into a blanket for the cats. Yeah, it's bad.

 

At least hoarding blankets is a PRACTICAL thing. Some people just collect the CATS.

 

I've got two cats so far...

[Akheia]

That's only four cats away from six, you realize (to quote Nathan Fillion).

[ConureDelSol]

I know what you mean about the twisty ties. I do that with boxes. I'll keep any box I can find if I like its shape or the way it opens and be all "I could totally USE this for something one day!" We have boxes stacked in a corner that I just KNOW I'm going to need and when I finally throw them out is when I'm suddenly going to need one of those boxes. IT ALWAYS HAPPENS THAT WAY!

 

My favorite boxes are the ones with magnets. They make me all happy inside.

[blackpudd1n]

That's only four cats away from six, you realize (to quote Nathan Fillion).

 

Sigh. Only thing keeping me from getting more is the fact that Wednesday and Bruce are potential carriers of the coronavirus (Wednesday has antibodies), and the coronavirus can mutate into the dreaded Feline Infectious Peritonitis. So, no more cats. Not for a very long time

[Akheia]

Aw, that's not good. But maybe for the best--now you can be the best kitty mommy possible to the ones you have and love them all up. I want more cats so bad, but I know better than to try it again until the Spaz is senile. She's getting there, but she almost killed the last kitten before we found it a better home.

 

I have an announcement to make:

 

SOFTICE, YOUR PERT ASS WAS VERY NEARLY GRASS. THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.

 

I am wheezing from cleaning products' stench, my back is killing me, and my cats are all unsettled from the opening and shredding of closets. I chose the three least possibly useful (and most detrimental to my arthritis) tasks possible to get back under my Threshold of Cleanliness, apparently: my bathroom sink is spotless, my shoes and "maybe I'll wear this again one day" clothes are weeded, and the back and sides of my fridge are clean (I'm not sure why I decided this was a task that could not wait another second BUT THERE YOU ARE).

 

I'm shocked at just how many pairs of shoes I was hoarding, apparently just in case my feet completely changed shape at some point.

 

The only thing saving SoftIce's aforementioned ass at the moment is I found my old T-shirt with the Dark Crystal characters on it and the fairy wings printed on the back, and I'd been wondering where the hell that went off to. So today wasn't a total waste.

 

I am going to drug myself insensate and fuck around with my Tiny Village on my smartphone now.