I Ran Over My Neighbor With My Wheelchair Today--Or, At Least I Really Wanted To

[AnnaNymity]

I just went down the hall to switch my laundry from the washer to the dryer. While I was in the laundry room, my neighbor started going off about the "fag" son of one of our neigbors that's a friend of mine.

 

Now that ticked me off, not only because it was such a homophobic thing to say, but also because this kid isn't even gay. He just simply has very long hair--and around here, you don't do that.

 

Yet this guy was apoplectic, he was so angry about it. He goes off about it at least once a month. How stupid. It's-frigging-hair. Get a grip!

 

You know, the thing that has always struck me as being so stupid about the :"homosexuality is a sin!" thing? It's that, from a medical clinical standpoint, sex is actually considered to be nothing more than "mutual masturbation" anyway. Because that's all it is, when you get right down to it.

 

It just so happens to be that the male/female parts happen to fit together better, that's all.

 

Blame the engineer that designed the system--not the users--that's what I say. If we all came from the factory equipped with all of the same parts, it wouldn't be a problem in the first place. (Even if it did make things a lot less interesting.)

 

Although , admittedly, it might also make it more difficult to do things like cramming a bunch of people in a busy subway car, etc., because of the embarrassing technical difficulties that might take place; . But designing public bathrooms would be one helluva lot less complicated!

[RankStranger]

Hey, don't feel bad. I hit a Korean woman with my truck once. She ran away from the scene, so I can only assume that she was ok.

[Kurari]

<----- *points at avatar*

 

Ugh, I totally would have rolled over on his toes and set the breaks. >.<

 

I got more important things to do than give a shit about who's having sex with whom, unless it's not consensual. Must be nice to have so much free time to worry about stupid shit like that.

 

Sex is sex. It's not evil, immoral, or wrong unless it's rape or performed in a detrimental fashion.

[AnnaNymity]

Hey, don't feel bad. I hit a Korean woman with my truck once. She ran away from the scene, so I can only assume that she was ok.

 

 

Was it either rude, or just plain sick of me, that that comment made me laugh? I'm seriously unsure. For shame!

 

<takes out the Cat O'Nine Tails that she bought on sale last week at Wal-Mart for only $19.95, and begins to beat herself about the head and neck>

 

　

 

　

[OpheliaGinger]

Just shout out to him that the more he protest the more he is advertising he wants to get blown by a man.

[RankStranger]

Hey, don't feel bad. I hit a Korean woman with my truck once. She ran away from the scene, so I can only assume that she was ok.

 

 

Was it either rude, or just plain sick of me, that that comment made me laugh? I'm seriously unsure. For shame!

 

<takes out the Cat O'Nine Tails that she bought on sale last week at Wal-Mart for only $19.95, and begins to beat herself about the head and neck>

 

　

 

　

 

Well I think the whole incident is kinda funny these days. But it wasn't to funny at the time.

 

I said this was a Korean woman- that's really just speculation on my part. She was Asian, and had a square head. And this was a military town. So odds are she was Korean, but I can't say that for sure.

 

I was driving to work one morning, and there was snow on the ground. It was really clear out, and I was driving East. The sun was in my eyes, and also reflecting off the snow. Cars were kicking up slush onto the windshield, and visibility just wasn't very good- I should have been going slower. Well out of nowhere, my passenger side mirror hit something and fell off. I quickly stopped and got out of the truck- and there was this asian gal running toward me. Apparently this was her morning run, and she had been running along the edge of the road rather than on the side walk since there was snow on it.

 

So as she approached, I asked if she was ok. She replied "yes, I'm ok" in a thick accent- and just kept running right on past me. So I walked back a couple hundred feet and picked up my mirror, threw it in the truck, and went to work.

 

Honestly I'm glad that it was an asian woman that I hit- because apparently they're really tough. If that had been an American woman, I would have been sued. And I would probably pay for it for the rest of my life. But this gal took it in stride and kept on running- although she did move over to the sidewalk.

[scarfwearer]

I just went down the hall to switch my laundry from the washer to the dryer. While I was in the laundry room, my neighbor started going off about the "fag" son of one of our neigbors that's a friend of mine.

 

 

 

The weird thing is, I normally see fag or faggot refer to wooden sticks or a bunch of them.

[RankStranger]

I just went down the hall to switch my laundry from the washer to the dryer. While I was in the laundry room, my neighbor started going off about the "fag" son of one of our neigbors that's a friend of mine.

 

 

 

The weird thing is, I normally see fag or faggot refer to wooden sticks or a bunch of them.

 

I thought a 'fag' was a cigarette.

[AnnaNymity]

<----- *points at avatar*

 

Ugh, I totally would have rolled over on his toes and set the breaks. >.<

 

I got more important things to do than give a shit about who's having sex with whom, unless it's not consensual. Must be nice to have so much free time to worry about stupid shit like that.

 

Sex is sex. It's not evil, immoral, or wrong unless it's rape or performed in a detrimental fashion.

 

　

 

　

 

I agree. I just happen to believe that someone else's sex life is just none of my damn business, as far as I'm concerned--unless they're molesting a minor--or Rover or Kitty, because animals can't really protect themselves, either. As a Buddhist, the abuse of either children or animals--or even bugs--makes me livid. You probably find this to be ridiculous, but I even got angry at a friend last fall, because he thought that it was funny when he tortured a fly that had gotten stuck to flypaper in his apartment in front of me. But that's just me.

 

Other than that, I just don't care.

 

Seriously though? It's going to sound like I'm joking, but I'm not: I once had a neighbor in Los Angeles that started talking to me about their "new true love and soulmate" and their "fantastic sex life," and I was happy for them, but then I was horrified when I realized that they were talking about their Great Dane. I didn't notify the authorities though, I just left their house, and cut off the friendship.

 

Maybe I should've called the police department or something, but I simply couldn't bring myself to do it--I had no idea of how to approach the subject, to say the least. Obviously though, I would've treated the circumstances differently, if it had been a Chihuahua, instead of a Great Dane.

 

And let me tell you, I certainly didn't blame the dog. But, try as I might, I'll freely admit that I never could quite manage to look at Scooby Doo in quite the same way.

 

But I'll tell ya, I love dogs (just not in that way) and used to like to go to dog parks and such, and certainly met an lot of that kind of thing in L.A., I always wondered exactly why it was that all but one of the pervs I met that were into that were into that kind of thing all considered themselves to be "devout christians". . . Hmmmmm. . .

 

　

 

But, when it comes to two people of age onsentually loving each other, that's just totally different, as far as I'm concerned.

 

So, when I have to hear phrases like "an abomination before the lord," I can't help but think, "Hey, what exactly do you mean by saying 'before the lord?' Because, these people aren't flying up to heaven, and crashing on his bed and rubbing nasties. They're just in their own bedroom! And, it's not as though they're recording it on video either, and mailing copies up there by U.P.S.! Besides, if your deity spends that much time hiding in the closet in people's bedrooms, watching them have sex and providing critiques of their work? Well, maybe, just maybe he needs to do some self-examination, also seek professional help!"

 

But, I don't even bother, because I know that someone like that is obviously full of delusional hubris, if they actually believe that they have the right to tell someone else how to live their lives .

 

So, I don't even bother to try to tell them anything. Because I'm dealing with someone that I realized long ago will ignore everything other than, "You're acting like an asshole. If you can't be respectful, do me a favor, and go away!"

 

That is, unless they're disrespecting and abusing someone right in front of me, or talking about a friend of mine,--or one of their kids.

 

Because in those kinds of circumstances I-will-NOT-shut-up. And, the game is on.

 

　

[AnnaNymity]

Just shout out to him that the more he protest the more he is advertising he wants to get blown by a man.

 

THAT was exactly MY thought!

[AnnaNymity]

I just went down the hall to switch my laundry from the washer to the dryer. While I was in the laundry room, my neighbor started going off about the "fag" son of one of our neigbors that's a friend of mine.

 

 

 

The weird thing is, I normally see fag or faggot refer to wooden sticks or a bunch of them.

I just went down the hall to switch my laundry from the washer to the dryer. While I was in the laundry room, my neighbor started going off about the "fag" son of one of our neigbors that's a friend of mine.

 

 

 

The weird thing is, I normally see fag or faggot refer to wooden sticks or a bunch of them.

 

I thought a 'fag' was a cigarette.

 

 

 

Just a translation problem from across the pond, I guess. "Fag" here is used as an insult to a homosexual--among other words and phrases.

 

And don't feel bad, 'cause I've done one hell of a lot worse. About fifteen years ago, I was in a chat room, and used a phrase that my ex-husband used to use, and that was the last time I ever used it online.

 

Now, keep in mind, here in the U.S., "fanny" means buttocks/ass.

 

The phrase that I used was, "Well, spank my fanny, and call me Tallulah! Ain't that somethin'!" and a friend private messaged me, and told me what "fanny" meant in the U.K.

[midniterider]

I just went down the hall to switch my laundry from the washer to the dryer. While I was in the laundry room, my neighbor started going off about the "fag" son of one of our neigbors that's a friend of mine.

 

Now that ticked me off, not only because it was such a homophobic thing to say, but also because this kid isn't even gay. He just simply has very long hair--and around here, you don't do that.

 

Yet this guy was apoplectic, he was so angry about it. He goes off about it at least once a month. How stupid. It's-frigging-hair. Get a grip!

 

You know, the thing that has always struck me as being so stupid about the :"homosexuality is a sin!" thing? It's that, from a medical clinical standpoint, sex is actually considered to be nothing more than "mutual masturbation" anyway. Because that's all it is, when you get right down to it.

 

It just so happens to be that the male/female parts happen to fit together better, that's all.

 

Blame the engineer that designed the system--not the users--that's what I say. If we all came from the factory equipped with all of the same parts, it wouldn't be a problem in the first place. (Even if it did make things a lot less interesting.)

 

Although , admittedly, it might also make it more difficult to do things like cramming a bunch of people in a busy subway car, etc., because of the embarrassing technical difficulties that might take place; . But designing public bathrooms would be one helluva lot less complicated!

 

Several times I've been advised by a couple workmates that my hair was 'getting long.' And a couple times I've said, "Jesus had long hair." It ended the conversation. One was a boss (unknown religion), the other was an xian. Not sure why anyone cared how long my hair was since I didn't meet customers in person, only on the phone.

[AnnaNymity]

Hey, don't feel bad. I hit a Korean woman with my truck once. She ran away from the scene, so I can only assume that she was ok.

 

 

Was it either rude, or just plain sick of me, that that comment made me laugh? I'm seriously unsure. For shame!

 

<takes out the Cat O'Nine Tails that she bought on sale last week at Wal-Mart for only $19.95, and begins to beat herself about the head and neck>

 

　

 

　

 

Well I think the whole incident is kinda funny these days. But it wasn't to funny at the time.

 

I said this was a Korean woman- that's really just speculation on my part. She was Asian, and had a square head. And this was a military town. So odds are she was Korean, but I can't say that for sure.

 

I was driving to work one morning, and there was snow on the ground. It was really clear out, and I was driving East. The sun was in my eyes, and also reflecting off the snow. Cars were kicking up slush onto the windshield, and visibility just wasn't very good- I should have been going slower. Well out of nowhere, my passenger side mirror hit something and fell off. I quickly stopped and got out of the truck- and there was this asian gal running toward me. Apparently this was her morning run, and she had been running along the edge of the road rather than on the side walk since there was snow on it.

 

So as she approached, I asked if she was ok. She replied "yes, I'm ok" in a thick accent- and just kept running right on past me. So I walked back a couple hundred feet and picked up my mirror, threw it in the truck, and went to work.

 

Honestly I'm glad that it was an asian woman that I hit- because apparently they're really tough. If that had been an American woman, I would have been sued. And I would probably pay for it for the rest of my life. But this gal took it in stride and kept on running- although she did move over to the sidewalk.

 

　

 

　

 

　

 

Oh! That makes me feel so much better! Because the reason that it made me laugh was because I once saw my best friend get sideswiped by a car. For the first minute or so of the incident, I was horrified, and scared to death!

 

That was, until she popped up out of the gutter, hopped back onto her bike,and rode off-- cussing out the driver in Taiwanese the whole time, because she was so mad at him for making us late for work That was what popped into my head when I read that.

[AnnaNymity]

 

Several times I've been advised by a couple workmates that my hair was 'getting long.' And a couple times I've said, "Jesus had long hair." It ended the conversation. One was a boss (unknown religion), the other was an xian. Not sure why anyone cared how long my hair was since I didn't meet customers in person, only on the phone.

 

Hey, you're preaching to the choir. I'm an ex-beach baby, AND a child of the '60s--some of my male friends over the years had hair down past their ass.

[WMDKitty]

*sends Anna two sets of spiked tires*

 

If I had been there with you, I probably would have run him over.

[WMDKitty]

Several times I've been advised by a couple workmates that my hair was 'getting long.' And a couple times I've said, "Jesus had long hair." It ended the conversation. One was a boss (unknown religion), the other was an xian. Not sure why anyone cared how long my hair was since I didn't meet customers in person, only on the phone.

 

Hey, you're preaching to the choir. I'm an ex-beach baby, AND a child of the '60s--some of my male friends over the years had hair down past their ass.

 

Just for you: George Carlin's "The Hair Piece".

 

I'm aware some stare at my hair

In fact, to be fair

some really despair of my hair

But I don't care

'cause they're not aware

nor are they debonair

In fact, they're just square

They see hair down to there

say "beware" and go off on a tear

I say "No fair"

A head that's bare is really nowhere

So be like a bear

Be fair with your hair

Show it you care

Wear it to there, or to there,

or to THERE if you dare

My wife bought some hair at a fair

to use as a spare

Did I care? Au contraire!

Spare hair is fair

In fact, hair can be rare

Fred Astaire got no hair

nor does a chair

or a chocolate eclair

And where is the hair on a pear?

Nowhere, mon frere

Now that I've shared this affair of the hair

I think I'll repair to my lair

and use Nair, do you care?

Here's my beard

Ain't it weird?

Don't be sceered

's just a beard

 

("The Hair Piece" belongs to George/his estate/whomever is holding the copyrights after his untimely death. No copyright infringement is intended. All hail Saint George.)

[AnnaNymity]

*sends Anna two sets of spiked tires*

 

If I had been there with you, I probably would have run him over.

 

Lemme tell ya: the guy was awfully LUCKY that I now have this site to wander off to, because If nothing else, I was awfully tempted to pretend to go spastic, and "accidentally" whack the idiot upside the head! Um, TWICE.

 

No, let's just make that an even dozen, because he went off on a rant about how he's going to call my friend's son "Denise" from now on.

 

On second thought: just send me the spiked tires, and I shall squash him like a giant polyester bug instead! <evil grin> <maniacal cackle> Mwahahahaaah!

[WMDKitty]

I've "accidentally" kicked people for shit like that. I've also "accidentally" tripped up some obnoxious kids with a well-placed crutch -- what? It's not my fault they were running around and not paying attention... *innocent*

[AnnaNymity]

Several times I've been advised by a couple workmates that my hair was 'getting long.' And a couple times I've said, "Jesus had long hair." It ended the conversation. One was a boss (unknown religion), the other was an xian. Not sure why anyone cared how long my hair was since I didn't meet customers in person, only on the phone.

 

Hey, you're preaching to the choir. I'm an ex-beach baby, AND a child of the '60s--some of my male friends over the years had hair down past their ass.

 

Just for you: George Carlin's "The Hair Piece".

 

I'm aware some stare at my hair

In fact, to be fair

some really despair of my hair

But I don't care

'cause they're not aware

nor are they debonair

In fact, they're just square

They see hair down to there

say "beware" and go off on a tear

I say "No fair"

A head that's bare is really nowhere

So be like a bear

Be fair with your hair

Show it you care

Wear it to there, or to there,

or to THERE if you dare

My wife bought some hair at a fair

to use as a spare

Did I care? Au contraire!

Spare hair is fair

In fact, hair can be rare

Fred Astaire got no hair

nor does a chair

or a chocolate eclair

And where is the hair on a pear?

Nowhere, mon frere

Now that I've shared this affair of the hair

I think I'll repair to my lair

and use Nair, do you care?

Here's my beard

Ain't it weird?

Don't be sceered

's just a beard

 

("The Hair Piece" belongs to George/his estate/whomever is holding the copyrights after his untimely death. No copyright infringement is intended. All hail Saint George.)

 

　

 

Fantastic! I was literally doing a very bad (totally incompetent) impersonation of his "Stuff" routine just yesterday!

 

All hail, Saint George! Let us now bow our heads, and sing this hymn in his honor!

 

　

 

Hail, glorious saint George, saint of our isle,

 

on us thy poor children, bestow a sweet doobie!

 

And now thou art high in the mansions above.

 

　

 

Hope they've got some really good shit up there,

 

or does it totally suck, like Courtney Love's?

 

If not, thou art really high in the mansions above!

 

　

 

　

 

(Bastardized version of "Hail, Glorious St. Patrick" Old Irish melody, with original lyrics by Sister Agnes, 1920)

[Stamps1962]

Your neighbor sounds like my batshit crazy preacher dad. Back in the late 60's we had one horrific long running argument after another about my hair being long. I did not let it grow to my shoulders but you'd have thought it was to my knees. In reality looking back at pics of me then it was just a bit over my ears and I had short sideburns. It was years later that my mom told me that he was sure everyone thought I was homosexual. I thought that stuff was ovfer and done with, you must live in a real doozie of a place. Sorry..

[OpheliaGinger]

Where does this idea that long hair in a male is equivalent to homosexuality? Most gays I've encountered (excluding the lesbians) have had short hair.

[WMDKitty]

@Ophelia Ginger -- IDK, probably from the whole "gay man = super-effeminate" stereotype.

[Suzanne]

Weird. A male friend of mine who used to have really long hair looked super manly with it. More so than with his current short hairdo, I'd say...

[AnnaNymity]

Your neighbor sounds like my batshit crazy preacher dad. Back in the late 60's we had one horrific long running argument after another about my hair being long. I did not let it grow to my shoulders but you'd have thought it was to my knees. In reality looking back at pics of me then it was just a bit over my ears and I had short sideburns. It was years later that my mom told me that he was sure everyone thought I was homosexual. I thought that stuff was ovfer and done with, you must live in a real doozie of a place. Sorry..

 

　

 

Thanks

 

It's "a real doozie of a place" only if that statement means, "Not only are they several french fries short of a Happy Meal, they're missing the hamburger, and the toy."

 

One of the only things that has helped deal with living here was when I decided to treat it exactly like my place of birth:Hollyweird, California.

 

And, by the way, THANK YOU for using the phrase "batshit."

 

It's one of my favorites, and people look at me strangely, when I use it.

 

　

[AnnaNymity]

I know! I always LOVED long hair on a guy. . . but then again, I am a former beach baby, like I said--spent too much time around surfers.

 

But, then again, I always had a thing for hairy men--a friend told me that my psyche must've been warped when I watched "Star Wars," and it gave me a Wookie fetish.