roadrunner Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 This may be a phase but I am worn out. I don't want to read another book see another documentary or speak to an another pastor or anything. I have read crap for 2 years this journey has consumed my life and I'm ready to go back to. My life. Not the delusion but the comfort that u are secure in your belief. At this point I am comfortable but just on the other side of the fence. In a way I am ready to close this chapter of my life and move on. Anybody know that feeling. I think this is just a phase Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeasabird Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 I'm in the middle of that phase myself. I guess I won't know how far into I am until I am at the next phase. In other words, I'm ready for it to be over but I'm not totally sure it's done with me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted June 21, 2012 Moderator Share Posted June 21, 2012 This may be a phase but I am worn out. I don't want to read another book see another documentary or speak to an another pastor or anything. I have read crap for 2 years this journey has consumed my life and I'm ready to go back to. My life. Not the delusion but the comfort that u are secure in your belief. At this point I am comfortable but just on the other side of the fence. In a way I am ready to close this chapter of my life and move on. Anybody know that feeling. I think this is just a phase I can relate roadrunner. We do a lot of study and gut wrenching, soul searching to find some 'truth'.....us deep thinkers. It does wear one down. I am comfortable on the other side of that fence you talk about. If one person comes along and convinces me that christianity is true and that jesus died for my sins...... I'll be back in the fold in 2 seconds. But first...you must prove the christian god to me. I want proof he exists!! I've always said here on EX-c, that I'm the atheist in the the foxhole. I'm not embarrased about that. I'm quite comfortable with it. And you are right.. to create a nice, normal life for yourself! It's time to relax a little!! Take a nice break. Best to you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 I agree. At some point we have to decide what we are going to believe, based on the best available evidence, and then move on and reclaim our lives. Sitting on the fence is painful. Freedom lies on the other side. Be free! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roadrunner Posted June 21, 2012 Author Share Posted June 21, 2012 My mind is made up and Ive seen enough evidence to convince me that there is no reason to believe in a god but somehow I keep finding new material to dissect. All of it takes me further from belief so nothing is being accomplished. Its likein boxing when the match gets too one sided you stop the fight. I want to stop the fight because while it is going on I am taking time from my work studies, i was going back to grad school, all of it got put on hold. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 My mind is made up and Ive seen enough evidence to convince me that there is no reason to believe in a god but somehow I keep finding new material to dissect. All of it takes me further from belief so nothing is being accomplished. Its likein boxing when the match gets too one sided you stop the fight. I want to stop the fight because while it is going on I am taking time from my work studies, i was going back to grad school, all of it got put on hold. I agree--the evidence is in and it is weighted in a certain direction. Time to move on. Go back to grad school!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator TrueFreedom Posted June 21, 2012 Moderator Share Posted June 21, 2012 This phase reminds me of the second year of my deconversion process, before I had admitted to anyone that I no longer believed in God. At that point I couldn't take another Christian perspective on anything, but I still craved secular knowledge and alternative perspectives. It was a difficult period for me. Are your wife and pastor expecting you to read me Christian literature? Are they willing to read anything that you recommend for them? Do you feel that you're ready to go back to grad school? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eugene39 Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 I was thinking today - I am tired of labeling myself as an "ex-christian" - a "what I used to be". I'm not sure yet what direction I'm headed, but things are starting to come together in my head. Sad thing is - I have no idea how I'd describe those things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted June 22, 2012 Moderator Share Posted June 22, 2012 My mind is made up and Ive seen enough evidence to convince me that there is no reason to believe in a god but somehow I keep finding new material to dissect. All of it takes me further from belief so nothing is being accomplished. Its likein boxing when the match gets too one sided you stop the fight. I want to stop the fight because while it is going on I am taking time from my work studies, i was going back to grad school, all of it got put on hold. I agree--the evidence is in and it is weighted in a certain direction. Time to move on. Go back to grad school!! I feel one of the reasons I continue to 'dig' for even new information, is wanting so desperetely to feel 100% sure that I've got all the evidence from both sides and have made the right decision. Does that sound stupid? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 I feel one of the reasons I continue to 'dig' for even new information, is wanting so desperetely to feel 100% sure that I've got all the evidence from both sides and have made the right decision. Does that sound stupid? I think it's human. It's questioning that led us out of Christianity in the first place; now we can't stop asking questions! For me personally, the evidence is in. Perhaps I should re-evaluate my beliefs in a year's time. But in the mean time, this hamster has gotten off the crazy-making wheel! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chikirin Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 This may be a phase but I am worn out. I don't want to read another book see another documentary or speak to an another pastor or anything. I know that feeling, it starts to feel like reruns. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToonForever Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 I was thinking today - I am tired of labeling myself as an "ex-christian" - a "what I used to be". I'm not sure yet what direction I'm headed, but things are starting to come together in my head. Sad thing is - I have no idea how I'd describe those things. One of the most amazing days for me since my deconversion last summer was the day I said out loud, for the first time, "I'm an atheist." Shedding the last threads of the nonsense-suit I wore for so long and walking free under the light of a billion stars that were placed there by nobody's hand at all... You'll find it. It won't be about the label. It'll be about your freedom to think for yourself, to see the world as it is, and dump the last vestiges of the fairy tale. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam5 Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 Hi roadrunner, i know what you mean. What is helping me move on was getting rid of the religious books from my house including many anti theist books as well. Then i wont obsess so much over religious things Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weetie Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 A helpful thing my therapist said to me when I was at the same point was "It's not your responsibility to figure it out." Meaning that you can never completely resolve these issues. You can never have absolute, 100% certainty. There's no way to mathematically or scientifically PROVE the (non)existence of God, or life after death, or any of that stuff. We don't have the tools to do it. Nobody does. So let it go and move on. If you're obsessing about it, then find ways to get your mind off it. Get interested in other things. You don't need to prove your beliefs to anyone, even yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roadrunner Posted June 22, 2012 Author Share Posted June 22, 2012 By some of the comments I can see that I may have misled. My mind is made up. I am convinced there is no god. I can't prove it but that's my stance right now. I'm just a little tired of seeing religion in everything. I've spend so much time finding my meaning of life I've missed two years of it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToonForever Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 By some of the comments I can see that I may have misled. My mind is made up. I am convinced there is no god. I can't prove it but that's my stance right now. I'm just a little tired of seeing religion in everything. I've spend so much time finding my meaning of life I've missed two years of it I'm glad it's only 2. Carpe Diem. Some of us count in decades. It's good that you got your mind back now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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