Got Cancer? It's Okay. God's Just Testing You A Little...

[raoul]

Back in the 80's there was a mob war in Philadelphia. It pretty much wiped out most of the people in the leadership ranks including this one guy who was reputed to have been the most vicious of the mobsters. His name was Phil Testa and he met his non-maker on a dark, quiet night when he put his key in the door to enter his home and the whole place blew up because of the bombs rigged throughout the place. I think the cops had to use spoons to pick up the pieces of his body. Okay, perhaps this was an exaggeration but the bomb was so powerful that it damaged the houses on both sides of his home.

 

I remember hearing a story about Testa regarding an incident that happened with his son when the kid was about 4 years old. Testa had his kid stand on top of the 5 or 6 outdoor steps and told him to jump into 'his daddy's arms'. The kid was hesitant at first but the father kept urging the kid to do it because 'daddy would catch him and everything would be okay'. The kid finally took the plunge, Testa immediately moved out of the way, the boy hit his face on the sidewalk. As he lay there crying his eyes out, Testa said, "Let that be a lesson to you son. Trust NO one, even me!".

 

It's almost impossible to believe a parent would have done something like that but if you knew Testa's personality you wouldn't have been shocked at all. I saw him when he was alive because he would often go to the local deli where my co-workers and I went to for lunch on Fridays. When he walked into the place it was as if all of the life was sucked out of the place. His presence, particularly his evil persona, just hung in the air until one could get away from him and it.

 

The crazy thing about this was that I thought about that incident while I was preparing breakfast for my better half and me. And what's even crazier is that I could actually tie it in with that insipid garbage we've all heard from bible thumpers about 'God testing us' because he loves us so much. I reply to that "maybe he shouldn't love us so much because we could probably handle life without the celestial testing we're supposed to be put through in order to strengthen us'.

 

Isn't life tough enough without having to hear that bullshit? Our neighbor who is one of those obnoxious bible thumpers once, many years ago, had a brief encounter with cancer. When he told me he'd had a tumor removed and the prognosis was good he also said "God's testing me so it's no problem". Even though I'd been a Christian at the time I still wanted to throw up when I heard that.

 

But I guess it's like what my wife said when I told her I was going to write this story today. She said people simply have to have answers for everything. They're not satisfied with walking through that fog so they'll rationalize anything and everything. While that makes complete sense it still doesn't diminish the harm the bible thumpers have done and continue to do whenever they say nonsense like 'God loves you so much that he has to test you'. Talk about pure, insane bullshit, right?

[blackpudd1n]

Sometimes I wonder if christians are addicted to suffering. If they're not in pain or anguish, sometimes it's like they really desire to be in pain or anguish. Like the more you suffer, the more blessed (special) you are. When I was a fundy, it was like there was a competition going to see who was suffering the most. I used to feel as though I was missing out because I had nothing to complain about, nothing to go and get healing for, no reason to really be prayed for.

 

And if I was sufferring from health problems, it was like there was a special place on a special list for each- like suffering had a value added to it. Although, no one ever wanted to know about my period problems at church, for some reason. I guess "women's problems" just don't count lol.

[Birdwatcher]

The story of Job is one of the MANY things in the Bible that disgusts me. Satan tells God that Job only loves him because God has blessed him so much. So God allows Satan to kill Job's 10 children, kill his servants, kill or have stolen his thousands of livestock, and afflict Job with horrible boils all over his body. If God is all-knowing, he would have known that Job would not have cursed him and turned his back, but God still allowed all of this to happen to Job to prove he loved Him. I find it very difficult to believe that if there is a God, that he would be so narcissistic and sadistic. Can you imagine a human father wanting to prove that his son loved him by allowing someone else to brutally kill all of the child's pets, smash all of his toys, and then make him very painfully sick or injured. That father would be put in prison and the child would be placed in protective custody.

 

Edit: Sometimes I think that the much-maligned wife of Job was the only sane person in this story. "Curse God and die" sounds logical to me. After all, it was her children who God allowed to be crushed to death.

[buffettphan]

Sometimes I wonder if christians are addicted to suffering. If they're not in pain or anguish, sometimes it's like they really desire to be in pain or anguish. Like the more you suffer, the more blessed (special) you are.

 

I think christians get off on their martyr complex.

[Weetie]

If God's testing us to strengthen us, what's he strengthening us FOR? I thought Heaven is supposed to be this place of joy and peace and rest from the struggles and trials of this life.

Now I find out that we're in boot camp, prepping for...what???? What exactly are we gonna be DOING in Heaven that we need to be trained for seventy-odd years to labor under disease, hunger, unemployment, and all the other crap God heaps on us? Sounds like God's running a sweatshop up there. Maybe we should start pointing this out to the Xians. No wonder Satan rebelled!

[Positivist]

Christianity fails to offer any answers, except pseudo-answers. That "testing you" bullshit is crazy-making! It's a cheap veneer over a non-answer.

 

Ugh.

 

Glad we're outta the brain-breaking religion!

[raoul]

Sometimes I wonder if christians are addicted to suffering. If they're not in pain or anguish, sometimes it's like they really desire to be in pain or anguish. Like the more you suffer, the more blessed (special) you are. When I was a fundy, it was like there was a competition going to see who was suffering the most. I used to feel as though I was missing out because I had nothing to complain about, nothing to go and get healing for, no reason to really be prayed for.

 

And if I was sufferring from health problems, it was like there was a special place on a special list for each- like suffering had a value added to it. Although, no one ever wanted to know about my period problems at church, for some reason. I guess "women's problems" just don't count lol.

You really make me laugh sometimes - must be the 'kindred' spirit thing or whatever. This time it's about you beginning by 'wondering' if they're addicted to suffering but then you go on and actually answer the question with example after example. Now, if you go and kick the shit out of a kangaroo I'll REALLY be impressed at least with the suffering the vicious beast will inflict on you. ROFL

 

Thanks..

[raoul]

Christianity fails to offer any answers, except pseudo-answers. That "testing you" bullshit is crazy-making! It's a cheap veneer over a non-answer.

 

Ugh.

 

Glad we're outta the brain-breaking religion!

Yep - pseudo answers that fit quite nicely with their infernal pseudo spirituality which makes them wear that smug look of "I got all the answers to everything" when we know the opposite is true.

[raoul]

If God's testing us to strengthen us, what's he strengthening us FOR? I thought Heaven is supposed to be this place of joy and peace and rest from the struggles and trials of this life.

Now I find out that we're in boot camp, prepping for...what???? What exactly are we gonna be DOING in Heaven that we need to be trained for seventy-odd years to labor under disease, hunger, unemployment, and all the other crap God heaps on us? Sounds like God's running a sweatshop up there. Maybe we should start pointing this out to the Xians. No wonder Satan rebelled!

that part about the sweatshop made me think of the infernal bs they lay on people about not actually working for someone because theyr're working for God since he put them there so don't bitch or complain about anything.. How'd ya like that run on sentence I just did? LOL

[raoul]

Sometimes I wonder if christians are addicted to suffering. If they're not in pain or anguish, sometimes it's like they really desire to be in pain or anguish. Like the more you suffer, the more blessed (special) you are.

 

I think christians get off on their martyr complex.

Actually I think many of them do. In fact, isn't that what they mean by the spiritual ecstasy thing they've written about?

[raoul]

The story of Job is one of the MANY things in the Bible that disgusts me. Satan tells God that Job only loves him because God has blessed him so much. So God allows Satan to kill Job's 10 children, kill his servants, kill or have stolen his thousands of livestock, and afflict Job with horrible boils all over his body. If God is all-knowing, he would have known that Job would not have cursed him and turned his back, but God still allowed all of this to happen to Job to prove he loved Him. I find it very difficult to believe that if there is a God, that he would be so narcissistic and sadistic. Can you imagine a human father wanting to prove that his son loved him by allowing someone else to brutally kill all of the child's pets, smash all of his toys, and then make him very painfully sick or injured. That father would be put in prison and the child would be placed in protective custody.

 

Edit: Sometimes I think that the much-maligned wife of Job was the only sane person in this story. "Curse God and die" sounds logical to me. After all, it was her children who God allowed to be crushed to death.

Yeah, I agree especially with the wife part which I've done quite a few times myself in the past. Ehrmann, whom I've referred to numerous times, really takes that book apart. His biggest criticism is the way Job's kids are killed just to prove some kind of meaningless point. At one point in a debate Ehrmann asks 'where is God's love in this?' His opponent, naturally, tap danced around the question.

[midniterider]

Sometimes I wonder if christians are addicted to suffering. If they're not in pain or anguish, sometimes it's like they really desire to be in pain or anguish. Like the more you suffer, the more blessed (special) you are. When I was a fundy, it was like there was a competition going to see who was suffering the most. I used to feel as though I was missing out because I had nothing to complain about, nothing to go and get healing for, no reason to really be prayed for.

 

And if I was sufferring from health problems, it was like there was a special place on a special list for each- like suffering had a value added to it. Although, no one ever wanted to know about my period problems at church, for some reason. I guess "women's problems" just don't count lol.

 

You hit the nail on the head. Suffering was a big deal in my church. The more the better. God loves suffering Christians. Though most of us didn't know real suffering...you know like a starving kid in Africa. The main suffering back in those days was listening to church sermons...lol

[midniterider]

If God's testing us to strengthen us, what's he strengthening us FOR? I thought Heaven is supposed to be this place of joy and peace and rest from the struggles and trials of this life.

Now I find out that we're in boot camp, prepping for...what???? What exactly are we gonna be DOING in Heaven that we need to be trained for seventy-odd years to labor under disease, hunger, unemployment, and all the other crap God heaps on us? Sounds like God's running a sweatshop up there. Maybe we should start pointing this out to the Xians. No wonder Satan rebelled!

 

There's an iPhone factory up there....

[blackpudd1n]

Sometimes I wonder if christians are addicted to suffering. If they're not in pain or anguish, sometimes it's like they really desire to be in pain or anguish. Like the more you suffer, the more blessed (special) you are. When I was a fundy, it was like there was a competition going to see who was suffering the most. I used to feel as though I was missing out because I had nothing to complain about, nothing to go and get healing for, no reason to really be prayed for.

 

And if I was sufferring from health problems, it was like there was a special place on a special list for each- like suffering had a value added to it. Although, no one ever wanted to know about my period problems at church, for some reason. I guess "women's problems" just don't count lol.

You really make me laugh sometimes - must be the 'kindred' spirit thing or whatever. This time it's about you beginning by 'wondering' if they're addicted to suffering but then you go on and actually answer the question with example after example. Now, if you go and kick the shit out of a kangaroo I'll REALLY be impressed at least with the suffering the vicious beast will inflict on you. ROFL

 

Thanks..

 

I actually DO have a story about a kangaroo, if you don't mind me going off topic for a second.

 

It was back when I was 14. I'd spent the first twelve years of my life living in the city, before my biological family and I moved to the country. I'd left home just before my 14th birthday, and was living in a long-term youth refuge. One weekend, us kids and a couple of the refuge workers went camping in a nearby state forest.

 

Now, you've got to remember that not only had I never been camping before, as a former city kid, but I was also incredibly gullible, so when they'd told me I'd be getting a cabin, hot shower, and a flushing toilet, I believed them. Instead, what I got was a two-man tent, a creek, and a single toilet cubicle, made of wood, that, while it had a toilet seat, was nothing more than a hole in the ground. All excrement just fell into this massive pit, so it not only stunk, but was rather warm in there, if you get what I mean.

 

Anyway, after I got over these shocks (which, actually, I didn't get over, I just bitched about a lot), the first night I discovered that I got quite claustrophobic in a two-man tent. I couldn't sleep. One of the other kids was a chronic insomniac, so we stayed up talking until the early hours, him lying on top of a wooden table, and I on one of the benches.

 

Anyway, we're lying there, talking about shit, and off in the distance we hear this thud-thud-thud. We both sat up, because the thudding was getting closer and louder, and we looked at each other and said, "what the hell is that?!" Just then this massive seven-foot kangaroo hops past us, and into the toilet cubicle. I shit you not. It was massive- its tail poked out from the gap underneath the cubicle walls. No-one had thought to close the damn door, and it looked like the kanga was quite used to spending its nights in the shelter and warmth of the toilet cubicle.

 

Anyway, we just laughed about it and settled back down to talking again. Except after a while, I really needed to piss. And there was a seven-foot kanga in the toilet.

 

Not knowing what to do, at 4:30am in the morning I went over to the tent of one of the youth workers, and said stood outside, saying, "oy! Oy!" and I hear this, "what?!" And I said to him, "there's a kangaroo in the toilet, and I need to go! What do I do?!" I got told, rather grumpily, to go bang on the walls of the cubicle. So me and the other kid looked at each other, and went, "alright".

 

We walked over to the cubicle, and banged on the walls. Nup. Nothing. Kanga wasn't moving. So we went back to the worker's tent, and once more I stood there, going, "oy! Oy!" And I hear this, "what now?!" And I said to him, "the kangaroo's still in there!" So this time, even more annoyed, I was told to offer it some bread.

 

Now, you've got to remember that I was a gullible city kid, and as for the other kid, well, I don't know what his excuse was, but seeing as this dude was an experienced camper, and qualified rock climbing and ab-sailing instructer, well, I figured he must know what he was talking about. So we found some bread, and after a little debate about who was going to offer it to the kanga, I ended up walking towards a seven-foot kangaroo, with my arm outstretched, holding a piece of bread.

 

So I getting closer, and closer, and this kanga is looking at me, and I got about three feet away when it suddenly just goes nuts. It launches at me, I screamed and legged it, the other kid screamed and legged it, and it pisses off with a shitload of noise and thrashing around involved. In the midst of all the, the youth worker bolts out of his tent, going, "what the fuck is going on?!" And I said to him, "there was a kangaroo in the toilet!!" And he looks at me, in horror, seeing the kanga hopping away and says, "I thought you were just fucking with me!!"

[raoul]

I'll tell ya - when you go off topic you REALLY go off topic!!! ROFL

No pun intended but I would've crapped my pants if I'd had that encounter with the monster in the toilet. I mean, something 7 foot tall? And you really have a type of courage I'm a bit ashamed that I don't have. I mean you actually approached it with some bread thinking you could actually reason with it? I literally adore dogs and they seem to attach themselves to me but even with them, especially ones I don't know, I may approach with extreme caution if I go to them in the first place. Yet you casually talking about that beast like it was Lassie or something. ROFL

 

Thanks for shring it and especially thanks because my wife had said something about visiting your country some day. I'll share this story with her and hopefully she'll just be happy to visit downtown New York or someplace else as safe compared to where you live. LOL

[Positivist]

Sometimes I think that the much-maligned wife of Job was the only sane person in this story. "Curse God and die" sounds logical to me. After all, it was her children who God allowed to be crushed to death.

I agree especially with the wife part which I've done quite a few times myself in the past. Ehrmann, whom I've referred to numerous times, really takes that book apart. His biggest criticism is the way Job's kids are killed just to prove some kind of meaningless point.

If I was a playwright, I'd love to write a play called "Job's Wife" and reveal the clear thinking heroine she really is. A woman ahead of her time!

[blackpudd1n]

I'll tell ya - when you go off topic you REALLY go off topic!!! ROFL

No pun intended but I would've crapped my pants if I'd had that encounter with the monster in the toilet. I mean, something 7 foot tall? And you really have a type of courage I'm a bit ashamed that I don't have. I mean you actually approached it with some bread thinking you could actually reason with it? I literally adore dogs and they seem to attach themselves to me but even with them, especially ones I don't know, I may approach with extreme caution if I go to them in the first place. Yet you casually talking about that beast like it was Lassie or something. ROFL

 

Thanks for shring it and especially thanks because my wife had said something about visiting your country some day. I'll share this story with her and hopefully she'll just be happy to visit downtown New York or someplace else as safe compared to where you live. LOL

 

LOL I wouldn't call it courage or bravery but rather a combination of foolishness, gullibility, and stupidity! I'm a lot more wary these days.

 

But seriously, if you guys were to visit Oz, you'd be fine if you just didn't go driving after dark on country roads (people are forever running into kangas and wallabies because they come out of no-where and decide to hop across the road), and if you did visit the country, just stayed in towns. It's really not that scary a place

 

Anyway, back on-topic now

[blackpudd1n]

Sometimes I think that the much-maligned wife of Job was the only sane person in this story. "Curse God and die" sounds logical to me. After all, it was her children who God allowed to be crushed to death.

I agree especially with the wife part which I've done quite a few times myself in the past. Ehrmann, whom I've referred to numerous times, really takes that book apart. His biggest criticism is the way Job's kids are killed just to prove some kind of meaningless point.

If I was a playwright, I'd love to write a play called "Job's Wife" and reveal the clear thinking heroine she really is. A woman ahead of her time!

 

Oh, you must, Pos!! It would be awesome!! Actually, you could do a whole series- a commentary of what the women of the bible were thinking through each story. It would be hilarious!

[raoul]

Sometimes I think that the much-maligned wife of Job was the only sane person in this story. "Curse God and die" sounds logical to me. After all, it was her children who God allowed to be crushed to death.

I agree especially with the wife part which I've done quite a few times myself in the past. Ehrmann, whom I've referred to numerous times, really takes that book apart. His biggest criticism is the way Job's kids are killed just to prove some kind of meaningless point.

If I was a playwright, I'd love to write a play called "Job's Wife" and reveal the clear thinking heroine she really is. A woman ahead of her time!

 

Oh, you must, Pos!! It would be awesome!! Actually, you could do a whole series- a commentary of what the women of the bible were thinking through each story. It would be hilarious!

You stole my thunder! I was gonna urge her to do the same HOWEVER I was gonna volunteer to play Job's wife. I am really a good method actor you know... ROFL

[blackpudd1n]

Sometimes I think that the much-maligned wife of Job was the only sane person in this story. "Curse God and die" sounds logical to me. After all, it was her children who God allowed to be crushed to death.

I agree especially with the wife part which I've done quite a few times myself in the past. Ehrmann, whom I've referred to numerous times, really takes that book apart. His biggest criticism is the way Job's kids are killed just to prove some kind of meaningless point.

If I was a playwright, I'd love to write a play called "Job's Wife" and reveal the clear thinking heroine she really is. A woman ahead of her time!

 

Oh, you must, Pos!! It would be awesome!! Actually, you could do a whole series- a commentary of what the women of the bible were thinking through each story. It would be hilarious!

You stole my thunder! I was gonna urge her to do the same HOWEVER I was gonna volunteer to play Job's wife. I am really a good method actor you know... ROFL

 

Oh, this play just keeps getting better and better!!!

[Chikirin]

Well this topic describes me very well, I've always been very glum and looking at the worst, expecting the worst, glass half empty, feeling like i need to suffer, shipwrecking my life on purpose etc. Now I'm taking it easy, like the original poster said, isn't life hard enough? Why do we need to flagellate ourselves too? There are plenty of enemies out there - disease, criminals, thieves, why be my own worst enemy to myself? It took me a long time before I could see all of this.

[blackpudd1n]

Well this topic describes me very well, I've always been very glum and looking at the worst, expecting the worst, glass half empty, feeling like i need to suffer, shipwrecking my life on purpose etc. Now I'm taking it easy, like the original poster said, isn't life hard enough? Why do we need to flagellate ourselves too? There are plenty of enemies out there - disease, criminals, thieves, why be my own worst enemy to myself? It took me a long time before I could see all of this.

 

Dammit, I've been informed that I have run out of reputation points to give out today So I'm going to tell you that I really liked what you wrote instead!

[raoul]

Oh, this play just keeps getting better and better!!!

Okay, here's the partial cast list:

Me: Job's wife

You: Job

I know, it's kinda role reversal thing

And finally

The freaking 7 foot Kangaroo - the devil or God, it doesn't really matter since they both seem to be best buds in the story...

[blackpudd1n]

Seven foot kanga as god, wombat as satan

[mcdaddy]

Sometimes I wonder if christians are addicted to suffering. If they're not in pain or anguish, sometimes it's like they really desire to be in pain or anguish. Like the more you suffer, the more blessed (special) you are. When I was a fundy, it was like there was a competition going to see who was suffering the most. I used to feel as though I was missing out because I had nothing to complain about, nothing to go and get healing for, no reason to really be prayed for.

 

And if I was sufferring from health problems, it was like there was a special place on a special list for each- like suffering had a value added to it. Although, no one ever wanted to know about my period problems at church, for some reason. I guess "women's problems" just don't count lol.

You really make me laugh sometimes - must be the 'kindred' spirit thing or whatever. This time it's about you beginning by 'wondering' if they're addicted to suffering but then you go on and actually answer the question with example after example. Now, if you go and kick the shit out of a kangaroo I'll REALLY be impressed at least with the suffering the vicious beast will inflict on you. ROFL

 

Thanks..

 

I actually DO have a story about a kangaroo, if you don't mind me going off topic for a second.

 

It was back when I was 14. I'd spent the first twelve years of my life living in the city, before my biological family and I moved to the country. I'd left home just before my 14th birthday, and was living in a long-term youth refuge. One weekend, us kids and a couple of the refuge workers went camping in a nearby state forest.

 

Now, you've got to remember that not only had I never been camping before, as a former city kid, but I was also incredibly gullible, so when they'd told me I'd be getting a cabin, hot shower, and a flushing toilet, I believed them. Instead, what I got was a two-man tent, a creek, and a single toilet cubicle, made of wood, that, while it had a toilet seat, was nothing more than a hole in the ground. All excrement just fell into this massive pit, so it not only stunk, but was rather warm in there, if you get what I mean.

 

Anyway, after I got over these shocks (which, actually, I didn't get over, I just bitched about a lot), the first night I discovered that I got quite claustrophobic in a two-man tent. I couldn't sleep. One of the other kids was a chronic insomniac, so we stayed up talking until the early hours, him lying on top of a wooden table, and I on one of the benches.

 

Anyway, we're lying there, talking about shit, and off in the distance we hear this thud-thud-thud. We both sat up, because the thudding was getting closer and louder, and we looked at each other and said, "what the hell is that?!" Just then this massive seven-foot kangaroo hops past us, and into the toilet cubicle. I shit you not. It was massive- its tail poked out from the gap underneath the cubicle walls. No-one had thought to close the damn door, and it looked like the kanga was quite used to spending its nights in the shelter and warmth of the toilet cubicle.

 

Anyway, we just laughed about it and settled back down to talking again. Except after a while, I really needed to piss. And there was a seven-foot kanga in the toilet.

 

Not knowing what to do, at 4:30am in the morning I went over to the tent of one of the youth workers, and said stood outside, saying, "oy! Oy!" and I hear this, "what?!" And I said to him, "there's a kangaroo in the toilet, and I need to go! What do I do?!" I got told, rather grumpily, to go bang on the walls of the cubicle. So me and the other kid looked at each other, and went, "alright".

 

We walked over to the cubicle, and banged on the walls. Nup. Nothing. Kanga wasn't moving. So we went back to the worker's tent, and once more I stood there, going, "oy! Oy!" And I hear this, "what now?!" And I said to him, "the kangaroo's still in there!" So this time, even more annoyed, I was told to offer it some bread.

 

Now, you've got to remember that I was a gullible city kid, and as for the other kid, well, I don't know what his excuse was, but seeing as this dude was an experienced camper, and qualified rock climbing and ab-sailing instructer, well, I figured he must know what he was talking about. So we found some bread, and after a little debate about who was going to offer it to the kanga, I ended up walking towards a seven-foot kangaroo, with my arm outstretched, holding a piece of bread.

 

So I getting closer, and closer, and this kanga is looking at me, and I got about three feet away when it suddenly just goes nuts. It launches at me, I screamed and legged it, the other kid screamed and legged it, and it pisses off with a shitload of noise and thrashing around involved. In the midst of all the, the youth worker bolts out of his tent, going, "what the fuck is going on?!" And I said to him, "there was a kangaroo in the toilet!!" And he looks at me, in horror, seeing the kanga hopping away and says, "I thought you were just fucking with me!!"

 

EEEPPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'. Living down under must be pretty gangsta.