"i Didn't Want God To Kill My Kids!"

[NeverAgainV]

That is what a lady said at a BBQ I was at who was asked "why she homeschooled".

 

So I'm at a BBQ for a sports team, not many people there...I make conversation with a nice lady. She has an infant, I ask if he's hers, she says "yes, he's the youngest of 6..."

 

Then I tell her how I'm from a huge Catholic family...I ask where her kids go to school..she says, "oh, I homeschool!" I proceed to tell her how I had homeschooled for 6 years, got

burned out, put my kids in a Lutheran school, now they are in the public schools. I also explained how I felt they needed more than homeschooling, more diversity & experiences than

I could offer them. ( I did not get into how I was in a very rigid bible cult..which is why I homeschooled)

 

Of course I'm wondering about this lady...I KNOW the mindset & I'm thinking...."is she one of ....those types of xians...??" You know, the Duggar types, the Quiverful, the Gothardites?

the "come out from among them & be ye separate!!" types?

 

Then someone asks her "why are you homeschooling?" She says one of her kids became diagnosed with juvenile diabetes & she says

"that was a wake up call for me....I didn't want God to kill my kids...so I homeschool!..."

 

there was quite a bit of silence, then I, being the oftentimes outspoken person I am tried to, in a good natured way, tell her,

"I don't think God will kill your kids if you don't homeschool them...." (remember I told her I did NOT homeschool anymore in our earlier conversation )

Then as the conversation continues she reiterates, "I don't want God to kill my kids..I can get the hint!."

 

I felt really sorry for this lady. Damn...I KNOW that mindset, totally based on FEAR.

I'm hoping that someday, when she gets burned out...that she will remember the heathen lady who no longer homeschooled & realize that some people DO escape

that mindset.

 

It's just so damn sad. I bet her pastor is feeding her a bunch of BS, instilling FEAR into her big time.

 

I just HATE that fear based religion!!!

[blackpudd1n]

Damn...

[Yrth]

I lol'd a bit.

[TrueFreedom]

THAT is what a devout fundamentalist mindset looks like! Someone close to me once said that she had thoughts of killing her kids so that they wouldn't go to hell. WTF?! I'm pretty sure that she would never actually do it, so I didn't go any further than trying to talk some sense into her (and I did try to get her to let one of her kids stay with us for a while--I was a xian at the time, btw).

[Guest wester]

This informs my mum's psychology completely. She's afraid to open the front door because of all the wild and crazy ideas she's been freebasing in church

 

"I'm sure god wouldn't mind...." is what she always says.

 

Really translates as I am sure the misogynists gasbags with low self esteem and authoritarian control issues who run my local groupthinc seminars wouldn't mind.

[JoeCoastie]

That's pretty sad. You know the person needs serious help, but they'll freak out at they need it. I'm sure if you even hint that her faith is at an unhealthy state, you'd get an angry defensive reaction.

[Positivist]

Those poor kids don't have a chance!

 

What a weird thing for her to say......so bizarre.

[NeverAgainV]

THAT is what a devout fundamentalist mindset looks like! Someone close to me once said that she had thoughts of killing her kids so that they wouldn't go to hell. WTF?! I'm pretty sure that she would never actually do it, so I didn't go any further than trying to talk some sense into her (and I did try to get her to let one of her kids stay with us for a while--I was a xian at the time, btw).

I believe Andrea Yates was a fundamentalist & she DID kill her kids....it is some scary mindset for sure!

[NeverAgainV]

That's pretty sad. You know the person needs serious help, but they'll freak out at they need it. I'm sure if you even hint that her faith is at an unhealthy state, you'd get an angry defensive reaction.

I saw her as so filled with fear that she wasn't even able to consider that she could be wrong. She even reiterated the "I don't want God to kill my kids..." more than once! It was as if she was trying to

prove a point to me that her God was so angry, controlling & vicious that he would kill her kids if she didn't homeschool....the funny thing is that is not even in the bible. Where the hell is it in the bible that you have

to "homeschool" your kids? But these asshole preachers are instilling BS into people's heads that they MUST homeschool to "be right w/ god", keep their kids separated from the "world" or whatever.

Funny how their supposed "lord" ate & drank with sinners....so much for following their lord's example.

[NeverAgainV]

Those poor kids don't have a chance!

 

What a weird thing for her to say......so bizarre.

I knew people from the church/cult I left who thought that way....even got me to think like that too.

It is such a prison.

[NeverAgainV]

This informs my mum's psychology completely. She's afraid to open the front door because of all the wild and crazy ideas she's been freebasing in church

 

"I'm sure god wouldn't mind...." is what she always says.

 

Really translates as I am sure the misogynists gasbags with low self esteem and authoritarian control issues who run my local groupthinc seminars wouldn't mind.

your way with words made me chuckle there....yeah, it is cuurrraaaazzzy!

[blackpudd1n]

It really is the ugly side of christianity.

 

I remember this woman who was one of those "prayer warriors". Always knocked out in the spirit and crying and praying for other people. Anyway, she was forever telling me about how jesus had healed her of her agoraphobia and anxiety... As her shaking hands clutched mine, wide-eyed and with a desperate tone in her voice, she would tell me over and over again about how he healed her.

 

I don't think she was healed, somehow. I think she was in a perpetual state of panic, desperate to believe that she had been healed. She never seemed very happy to me.

[RedStar]

It really is the ugly side of christianity.

 

I remember this woman who was one of those "prayer warriors". Always knocked out in the spirit and crying and praying for other people. Anyway, she was forever telling me about how jesus had healed her of her agoraphobia and anxiety... As her shaking hands clutched mine, wide-eyed and with a desperate tone in her voice, she would tell me over and over again about how he healed her.

 

I don't think she was healed, somehow. I think she was in a perpetual state of panic, desperate to believe that she had been healed. She never seemed very happy to me.

 

Sounds like this lady was trying to convince her self more than she was you. I think some of them keep telling themselves they're healed to try and make it true, I heard a lot of crap about the 'power of words' when I was in church. I also think that some Christians are afraid to say that healing isn't happening, they're scared of being told that they don't have enough faith and that it's their fault so they just pretend everything's better now. What really pissed me off about church was the attitude of other people when someone was having a hard time. They had this whole "Jesus will fix it" mentality and if the person's problems didn't go away quickly people would get annoyed, making the suffering person feel as though they had to magically get better, or at least pretend to be better so that people would stop giving them a look of disappointment. People are made to feel like they can't share much about their problems because it's all too hard and ruins the positive attitude these unrealistic morons have. I was one of the hurting people, so I know from experience.

[Eugene39]

On my way out, one of the things I was afraid of was that God would kill or injury me, my wife or kids. God and the Bible no longer made sense, but there was a fear there that something horrible was going to happen. After about three months and nothing bad happened, I began to relax and eventually realized that either God isn't like that or God doesn't exist.

[RedStar]

On my way out, one of the things I was afraid of was that God would kill or injury me, my wife or kids. God and the Bible no longer made sense, but there was a fear there that something horrible was going to happen. After about three months and nothing bad happened, I began to relax and eventually realized that either God isn't like that or God doesn't exist.

 

I'm glad I'm not the only one who had thoughts like these! It's sad and scary that this is what religion does to people's brains. A family friend of ours thought the same thing when she left the Jehovah's Witnesses, she was terrified but in the end she just did whatever she wanted to because she figured she was going to hell anyway. She still believes in God, but doesn't hold all the JW beliefs anymore.

[Darklady]

and people ask me why I am so outspoken about how evil religion is......

its robs and destroys people

[Birdwatcher]

I'm still in the closet (except for here) regarding my deconversion. My husband and I have always been tithers. This morning we were talking about our finances and my husband said that it's only because God is blessing our obedience to tithing and giving offerings that we are doing okay, and that we will never ever stop tithing because God would stop blessing us, and it would mean our financial ruin. Tithing is something he obeys with fear and trembling. I'm not knocking him, because I felt like that for decades.

 

Our comfortable financial situation couldn't be because we both started working when we were in high school (40 years ago, yikes). It couldn't be because my husband works 60 hours a week, or that we are diligent to live within our means.

 

My husband is so afraid of God that we will continue to give over and above 10% of our income for the rest of our lives. Oh well, you can't take it with you.

[Akheia]

I don't even know what to say to insanity like that. God gave the kid juvenile diabetes as a shot across the bow? Help a sista out here. Is that the thinking? Hard to even conceive of a being that vindictive, petty, cruel, tyrannical, and narcissistic, but apparently that's the one she's worshiping.

 

If the Biblical god proved his existence tomorrow, I swear to fucking god I wouldn't even finish my breakfast before joining the rebellion that would inevitably spring up against him.

[mcdaddy]

I'm still in the closet (except for here) regarding my deconversion. My husband and I have always been tithers. This morning we were talking about our finances and my husband said that it's only because God is blessing our obedience to tithing and giving offerings that we are doing okay, and that we will never ever stop tithing because God would stop blessing us, and it would mean our financial ruin. Tithing is something he obeys with fear and trembling. I'm not knocking him, because I felt like that for decades.

 

Our comfortable financial situation couldn't be because we both started working when we were in high school (40 years ago, yikes). It couldn't be because my husband works 60 hours a week, or that we are diligent to live within our means.

 

My husband is so afraid of God that we will continue to give over and above 10% of our income for the rest of our lives. Oh well, you can't take it with you.

 

I somehow convinced my fundy wide to stop tithing since we're in major major school debt. Funny thing is, 6 months after she stopped she got a HUUUGE raise. So much for god not blessing those who don't tithe!

 

Of course she says te raise comes from the previous nine years of tithing.

[Lilith666]

Why would God kill her kids if she sent them to school--because they teach evolution? Why not a parochial school?

[Lilith666]

THAT is what a devout fundamentalist mindset looks like! Someone close to me once said that she had thoughts of killing her kids so that they wouldn't go to hell. WTF?! I'm pretty sure that she would never actually do it, so I didn't go any further than trying to talk some sense into her (and I did try to get her to let one of her kids stay with us for a while--I was a xian at the time, btw).

 

She was probably mentally ill. That sounds a little like Margaret White.

[NeverAgainV]

It really is the ugly side of christianity.

 

I remember this woman who was one of those "prayer warriors". Always knocked out in the spirit and crying and praying for other people. Anyway, she was forever telling me about how jesus had healed her of her agoraphobia and anxiety... As her shaking hands clutched mine, wide-eyed and with a desperate tone in her voice, she would tell me over and over again about how he healed her.

 

I don't think she was healed, somehow. I think she was in a perpetual state of panic, desperate to believe that she had been healed. She never seemed very happy to me.

Right BP! The mind games to convince themselves are just unbelievable. The constant repeating as you say, over & over...it is really like they are trying to convince themselves!

And I think you are right about the constant state of panic, I think that is true. In the cult there was always the adrenaline rush

going on...oh, especially when someone was going to be "church disciplined or excommunicated" (kicked out of the church for some perceived wrong doing) I saw people having a look of panic but anticipation of

the coming drama from the pulpit & within the ranks. I'd much rather watch a scary movie to get that kind of adrenaline rush....

[NeverAgainV]

It really is the ugly side of christianity.

 

I remember this woman who was one of those "prayer warriors". Always knocked out in the spirit and crying and praying for other people. Anyway, she was forever telling me about how jesus had healed her of her agoraphobia and anxiety... As her shaking hands clutched mine, wide-eyed and with a desperate tone in her voice, she would tell me over and over again about how he healed her.

 

I don't think she was healed, somehow. I think she was in a perpetual state of panic, desperate to believe that she had been healed. She never seemed very happy to me.

 

Sounds like this lady was trying to convince her self more than she was you. I think some of them keep telling themselves they're healed to try and make it true, I heard a lot of crap about the 'power of words' when I was in church. I also think that some Christians are afraid to say that healing isn't happening, they're scared of being told that they don't have enough faith and that it's their fault so they just pretend everything's better now. What really pissed me off about church was the attitude of other people when someone was having a hard time. They had this whole "Jesus will fix it" mentality and if the person's problems didn't go away quickly people would get annoyed, making the suffering person feel as though they had to magically get better, or at least pretend to be better so that people would stop giving them a look of disappointment. People are made to feel like they can't share much about their problems because it's all too hard and ruins the positive attitude these unrealistic morons have. I was one of the hurting people, so I know from experience.

Yes RedStar!! Exactly! and you hit the nail on the head, there was a whole lot of pretending....you could NOT really share with the church people what was really going on in your life, lest you be accused of "not having enough faith" or some other spiritual downfall you were "guilty" of. You could probably relate to this, but by the time I was ready to leave, I didn't have any positive feelings towards that group of people because it was all so pretentious.

The relationships were so superficial. Of course the pastor & certain others might have known some of our problems....but it was always brushed over & we were to blame for our "not being content" or "not being satisfied with god's provision"...etc.

No matter what, WE were always in the wrong.

[NeverAgainV]

On my way out, one of the things I was afraid of was that God would kill or injury me, my wife or kids. God and the Bible no longer made sense, but there was a fear there that something horrible was going to happen. After about three months and nothing bad happened, I began to relax and eventually realized that either God isn't like that or God doesn't exist.

If you felt that fear I'm thinking that in some ways your pastor or the church members had some unwritten rule that to leave was tantamount to walking away from "god"...their god of course.

When we were going to leave the bible cult, our pastor made it clear for us to, & he quoted a very harsh bible verse to us, "to look out for god's fiery indignation to devour the adversary!!..."

Yep, we were then put on bible god's shit list. My xpastor also implied that god could be so angry w/ us for leaving the church that he just might kill us or our kids.

There was a constant barrage of guilt inducing spew from not only the pastor, but the inner cirlce. One lady who at one time in the cult i actually thought was my "friend"....informed me (when she knew we had

decided to leave that church) she brought up how "when the xxxx family left the church the dad dropped dead of a heart attack!!...you just never know!..." My husband & I just looked at each other realizing

that the whole system was predicated on FEAR, FEAR & more FEAR.

[NeverAgainV]

Why would God kill her kids if she sent them to school--because they teach evolution? Why not a parochial school?

It's possible that the parochial schools are not teaching her brand of religion or something. Or she could think that she is protecting them from the "world" & it's evil influences?

When I put my kids in the Lutheran school, I was still in the bible cult & the pastor viewed Lutheran's as lukewarm &

not true christians.....but I could NOT continue to homeschool & it was the better option (in my mind at the time) than the public schools.