jblueep Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 I told my sister about my de-conversion a few months ago. I haven't told my parents because they are 65 years old and in way too deep. I didn't see any reason to disturb their world unless they asked me directly. I haven't told my brother mainly because we are not close. I normally see him about once per year. About a month ago, I went public on facebook with my apostasy. My brother is on facebook. My parents are not. My sister called me last night to let me know that my brother had called her and my parents telling them what he had seen on facebook and asking them to pray for me. Neither he or my parents have called me about it yet. This Saturday should be interesting as I am meeting my Dad to help him with an automotive repair in the morning and then I am meeting my brother in the afternoon to help him with a home repair. I am actually looking forward to the discussions (I assume they will bring it up) and I am relieved that the last of our family members are now aware. I'll do a post after Saturday if anyone is interested how it went. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackpudd1n Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 I would be interested to hear how you go Good luck on Saturday, J Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 Maybe they won't say anything. My dad swept it under the rug and my mom sent me a book once, but other than that, they both go out of their way to avoid the subject. They have made sure to let me know that even though they worry nothing has changed in our relationship. They are about your parent's age and I'm betting they have a fairly similar church background. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaiser01 Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 My parents pretend i still believe even though they know, my father even asked me what i would preach to some teenagers once while he knows i dont believe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdaddy Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 I told my sister about my de-conversion a few months ago. I haven't told my parents because they are 65 years old and in way too deep. I didn't see any reason to disturb their world unless they asked me directly. I haven't told my brother mainly because we are not close. I normally see him about once per year. About a month ago, I went public on facebook with my apostasy. My brother is on facebook. My parents are not. My sister called me last night to let me know that my brother had called her and my parents telling them what he had seen on facebook and asking them to pray for me. Neither he or my parents have called me about it yet. This Saturday should be interesting as I am meeting my Dad to help him with an automotive repair in the morning and then I am meeting my brother in the afternoon to help him with a home repair. I am actually looking forward to the discussions (I assume they will bring it up) and I am relieved that the last of our family members are now aware. I'll do a post after Saturday if anyone is interested how it went. If they were gonna say anything, they woulda by now. Theyre probably going thru the "Aunt Sally" experience. (Aunt Sally [J] is a good person, God wouldnt throw him in hell, Gods not that sadistic) Like ive said many times, most xians intrinsically, subconsciously don't buy into it bc if they did, they'd be either missionaries or WBC-ers. If they do anything less than beg and plead for you to come back in the fold, then you know they have questions/issues with xianity as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jblueep Posted June 28, 2012 Author Share Posted June 28, 2012 I doubt my brother will bring it up because he's not confrontational. I don't think my Dad will be able to stop himself though. I guess we'll see Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jblueep Posted June 28, 2012 Author Share Posted June 28, 2012 My dad has been unemployed for two years, after working hard his whole life. God has not come through for them at all. I've seen them dig in even deeper, but I have seen shadows of doubt as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 Oh, to be a fly on the wall! Do keep us posted. I admire your courage, J! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToonForever Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 I told my sister about my de-conversion a few months ago. I haven't told my parents because they are 65 years old and in way too deep. I didn't see any reason to disturb their world unless they asked me directly. I haven't told my brother mainly because we are not close. I normally see him about once per year. About a month ago, I went public on facebook with my apostasy. My brother is on facebook. My parents are not. My sister called me last night to let me know that my brother had called her and my parents telling them what he had seen on facebook and asking them to pray for me. Neither he or my parents have called me about it yet. This Saturday should be interesting as I am meeting my Dad to help him with an automotive repair in the morning and then I am meeting my brother in the afternoon to help him with a home repair. I am actually looking forward to the discussions (I assume they will bring it up) and I am relieved that the last of our family members are now aware. I'll do a post after Saturday if anyone is interested how it went. Good luck. Hope they're open enough to listen to you and not try to browbeat you back to belief Looking forward to hearing what happens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
owen652 Posted June 29, 2012 Share Posted June 29, 2012 I told my sister about my de-conversion a few months ago. I haven't told my parents because they are 65 years old and in way too deep. I didn't see any reason to disturb their world unless they asked me directly. wow, that is EXACTLY the situation i find myself in. my parents are even older and i'm not going to throw them for a loop unless they ask me, which they haven't yet, even tho they undoubtedly know. i think they're actually scared to approach me about it, considering some of the stuff i've flung at my sister. Good luck, can't wait to hear how it goes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator TrueFreedom Posted June 29, 2012 Moderator Share Posted June 29, 2012 Looking forward to hearing about an amiable experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thought2Much Posted June 29, 2012 Share Posted June 29, 2012 I'm not too terribly interested in reading about what happens, jblue. Don't bother typing anything up when Saturday is over. If you do, I probably couldn't be arsed to read it. I'm totally kidding of course. Please let us know what happens! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted June 29, 2012 Moderator Share Posted June 29, 2012 I would be interested to hear how you go Good luck on Saturday, J Ditto jblueep! We need a report when you get back! Best wishes for a good outcome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdaddy Posted June 29, 2012 Share Posted June 29, 2012 I only want details if there is blood spilt. By the way, if your ol man gets too pushy, break out a combo move and FINISH HIM!!!!! FATALITY!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConureDelSol Posted June 29, 2012 Share Posted June 29, 2012 Please do post! *subscribes* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jblueep Posted June 29, 2012 Author Share Posted June 29, 2012 Thanks for the interest. I'll write about the experience on Sunday if there's something to write about anyway Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jblueep Posted July 1, 2012 Author Share Posted July 1, 2012 Picking up the story... My sister called on Friday telling me that my Mom had called her upset for two reasons: 1. My sister knew has known about my atheism for a few months and did not tell her and my Dad. 2. My sister had told me that my parents now knew of my atheism. My sister said that my Mom told her she had been crying for a week (since my brother told them of my atheism). Then my brother sent me a message asking if he could have his friend join us for dinner on Saturday. This friend is in the ministry. I said "sure" thinking that my brother was bringing his friend to talk some sense into me. Given these two events, I fully expected a discussion/confrontation with both my parents and my brother on Saturday when I saw them in person. However, my son and his friend wanted to go with me. My son wanted to be part of the conversations and his friend wanted to witness me debating them as he is an atheist too. But alas, nothing happened. For one, we were really busy on both projects, and secondly, I don't think either party wanted to have conversations in front of the boys. I assume that both my parents and brother think it's just me that has gone rouge, and are unaware that my entire family is with me on this. I was a little disappointed that they all have the guts to talk to each other about me but not the guts to talk to me directly. However, I think timing is everything in these matters, and it will happen when it's supposed to happen. If nothing else, I got a chance to demonstrate that I'm the same exact guy as before. I don't think my parents will be able to avoid bringing up the subject for very long. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsRoper Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 I was a little disappointed that they all have the guts to talk to each other about me but not the guts to talk to me directly. If you want to avoid 'triangulation' maybe make a date to take them to dinner and talk to them directly. I've been working on this in my own dysfunctional extended family. Letting them know all this talking behind each other's backs and speaking for other people is not conducive to healthy communication. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raoul Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 My dad has been unemployed for two years, after working hard his whole life. God has not come through for them at all. I've seen them dig in even deeper, but I have seen shadows of doubt as well. Sorry to hear about your father's extended unemployment but my son landed a job in February after being out for over 2 years and my younger one is still looking after over a year of being unemployed. I hope your parents aren't into that 'god's testing us' crap because it used to drive me nuts when I thought it regarding my own stumbling walk until I finally woke up and I'm 67 years old so age doesn't mean squat when one is really seeking truth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akheia Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 That went a lot better than I'd expected But I'm not shocked to hear about the gossiping behind your back. Not at all. Healthy, direct communication and a genuine desire for dialogue aren't precisely hallmarks of modern evangelicalism. I also think it'd be a good idea to take your mom and dad out to dinner or something so it's just the three of you. Christianity, with its muddled chains of command, likes to meddle with relationships where they have absolutely no business (I read a news story wherein a de-convert told of telling his pastor he didn't believe anymore and the ASSHOLE called the parishioner's wife on the spot to tell her she needed to get a new husband!). Cutting this "friend in ministry" out of the equation will go far toward ensuring your conversation is in fact a conversation and not a witnessing event. Here's hoping your dad finds something soon! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jblueep Posted July 1, 2012 Author Share Posted July 1, 2012 ......until I finally woke up and I'm 67 years old so age doesn't mean squat when one is really seeking truth. Thanks raoul. It's very encouraging to know that someone can come out of it in their 60s. My mother in law is de-converting now and she is about your age. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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