Tomorrow Is The "great Flood's" Anniversary...

[TheBluegrassSkeptic]

Ahh, how sweet isn't it?!?

July is the anniversary of the beginning of the great flood according to the Bubble!

Yes, that's right! And I am asking everyone that believes in such utter nonsense to think on their little myth they hold so dear, and God's covenant. Then think of all the innocents that were murdered across the world because there was no fair chance in hell for ALL believers in God to know about the flood let alone make it to the ark.

What a murderous bastard!

Happy Anniversary!

[hereticzero]

How do these tards know the flood would have been in July? The calendar had not been invented then, as we know it. They must use the same math that gave them December 25 as Jezus birthday?

[Positivist]

God iz so good!!!!!

 

 

[Guest wester]

[blackpudd1n]

How do these tards know the flood would have been in July? The calendar had not been invented then, as we know it. They must use the same math that gave them December 25 as Jezus birthday?

 

That was my first thought, HZ. How the fuck do they figure that one?!

[LivingLife]

How do we celebrate this? Open the faucet and let the bath overflow? Maybe put some ants in the bath first?

[Margee]

Drowning is supposed to be quick and painless. Praise god for his wonderful compassion.........

[Thought2Much]

Here's one thing that kills me about the entire flood story...

 

I would have to think that other boats were in existence at the time that God decided to drown everybody. If this is true, then there probably would have been thousands and thousands of people of people floating around in boats or on rafts, dying of thirst or starving to death for months after the flood started. How awesome is that?

[blackpudd1n]

Here's one thing that kills me about the entire flood story...

 

I would have to think that other boats were in existence at the time that God decided to drown everybody. If this is true, then there probably would have been thousands and thousands of people of people floating around in boats or on rafts, dying of thirst or starving to death for months after the flood started. How awesome is that?

 

I never even thought of that.

[LivingLife]

Here's one thing that kills me about the entire flood story...

 

I would have to think that other boats were in existence at the time that God decided to drown everybody. If this is true, then there probably would have been thousands and thousands of people of people floating around in boats or on rafts, dying of thirst or starving to death for months after the flood started. How awesome is that?

No silly, all those boats would have been exposed to Rain1.0 which had never happened before the fludd. The folk would not have turned the boats upside down as is now the custom to prevent just this from happening0. Thus all the boats right way up would have sunk or filled with water before the water arose.

 

I mean really this is sooo obvious (if you are a wootard)

 

Only Captain Noah's boat had a deck with self draining capabilities. The other buggers would have died from all the bailing

 

[/back to reality]

[Thought2Much]

Here's one thing that kills me about the entire flood story...

 

I would have to think that other boats were in existence at the time that God decided to drown everybody. If this is true, then there probably would have been thousands and thousands of people of people floating around in boats or on rafts, dying of thirst or starving to death for months after the flood started. How awesome is that?

 

I never even thought of that.

 

Of course, some Christians will claim that since the Bible never mentioned boats before God told Noah how to build one, that they must not have existed at the time! They'll also claim that since the Bible never mentioned rain occurring before the Flood, that no one had ever seen rain, either, and all the extra water came from above the Firmament, which was opened to create the Flood.

 

 

 

EDIT: D'oh! Simulpost with LL.

[Thought2Much]

No silly, all those boats would have been exposed to Rain1.0 which had never happened before the fludd. The folk would not have turned the boats upside down as is now the custom to prevent just this from happening0. Thus all the boats right way up would have sunk or filled with water before the water arose.

 

If anyone tried to say anything like this to me now, I think my response would be:

 

[mcdaddy]

How do these tards know the flood would have been in July? The calendar had not been invented then, as we know it. They must use the same math that gave them December 25 as Jezus birthday?

 

That was my first thought, HZ. How the fuck do they figure that one?!

 

I'm pretty sure in the story it mentions the Hebrew month it started in.

[blackpudd1n]

How do these tards know the flood would have been in July? The calendar had not been invented then, as we know it. They must use the same math that gave them December 25 as Jezus birthday?

d

That was my first thought, HZ. How the fuck do they figure that one?!

 

I'm pretty sure in the story it mentions the Hebrew month it started in.

 

But Hebrew calendars are not 12 months long, if I recall correctly. Which would mean that each year the "anniversary" month would change, right? Due to the difference in months?

[Thought2Much]

How do these tards know the flood would have been in July? The calendar had not been invented then, as we know it. They must use the same math that gave them December 25 as Jezus birthday?

d

That was my first thought, HZ. How the fuck do they figure that one?!

 

I'm pretty sure in the story it mentions the Hebrew month it started in.

 

But Hebrew calendars are not 12 months long, if I recall correctly. Which would mean that each year the "anniversary" month would change, right? Due to the difference in months?

 

The Hebrew calendar has twelve months, but they're lunar months, so if you're going strictly by the Hebrew calendar, a date will change from year to year without some adjustment.

 

Kind of off topic, I once had a Christian try to tell me that a lunar calendar is more accurate than a solar calendar. Sheesh, the stupid shit I've had to listen to over the years...

[hereticzero]

How do these tards know the flood would have been in July? The calendar had not been invented then, as we know it. They must use the same math that gave them December 25 as Jezus birthday?

 

That was my first thought, HZ. How the fuck do they figure that one?!

 

I'm pretty sure in the story it mentions the Hebrew month it started in.

The babble does not give the month of the flood, it only mentions it began when Noah was 600 years old.

[mcdaddy]

How do these tards know the flood would have been in July? The calendar had not been invented then, as we know it. They must use the same math that gave them December 25 as Jezus birthday?

 

That was my first thought, HZ. How the fuck do they figure that one?!

 

I'm pretty sure in the story it mentions the Hebrew month it started in.

The babble does not give the month of the flood, it only mentions it began when Noah was 600 years old.

 

Ok. I coulda sworn it mentioned the month somewhere.

 

But I'm not gonna waste my time actually looking it up.

[TheBluegrassSkeptic]

Ultimately, the flood was taken from the Epic of Gilgamesh, so the real question is when did the Hebrews PLAGIARISE it.... If you go by the geneaologies given in the bubble of the patriarchs, you could theoretically narrow it down to an approx year and season. I just went with July since it supposedly started in the beginning of a Summer, but nothin is perfect in a retold story.

 

I always questioned how the Sunday schools and churches still do not recite the story like it is written. Technically Noah brought on board 7 pairs of "clean" animals of each type, 1 pair of "unclean" animals of each type, and then the whole thing about the fowl, you know, 7 PAIRS of EVERY TYPE.

 

My question is what about the whales and the dolphins, etc. According to their own story, all of these things were killed because they had the breath of life in their nostrils. Literally says that. How would Noah possibly preserve species of every type of aquatic mammal?

 

On another note, I think I figured out how the orangatangs and koalas made the boat ride. They caught rides in the mouths of sperm whales to the continent where Noah lived and trekked across the deserts to get there....right?

 

:OP Stupidest shit ever, I know. But I like to say the word S P E R M...

 

[Noraa]

Yea I gotta admit, as much as I believe in the supernatural, that flood story is highly suspect

[Guest wester]

Oh sorry, I forgot to mention that the great flood was borrowed nearly wholecloth from The Epic of Gilgamesh

Except the Gilgamesh story was - uh - a little more interesting.

 

Cheers

[roadrunner]

Here's one thing that kills me about the entire flood story...

 

I would have to think that other boats were in existence at the time that God decided to drown everybody. If this is true, then there probably would have been thousands and thousands of people of people floating around in boats or on rafts, dying of thirst or starving to death for months after the flood started. How awesome is that?

 

I never even thought of that.

 

Of course, some Christians will claim that since the Bible never mentioned boats before God told Noah how to build one, that they must not have existed at the time! They'll also claim that since the Bible never mentioned rain occurring before the Flood, that no one had ever seen rain, either, and all the extra water came from above the Firmament, which was opened to create the Flood.

 

 

 

EDIT: D'oh! Simulpost with LL.

 

Man, I never thought of that. How did i ever believe that anyway. Whats funny is the bible is also silent about dinosaurs but we never went around saying they didnt exist. Whats scary is when a book DOESNT mention something so you refer to another section of the book and grandfather in any unmentioned topics. One book that is supposedly complete.