Popular Post antix Posted July 1, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted July 1, 2012 1) The Lord wants us to: WE WANT TO 2) That is wrong I DO NOT LIKE IT AND I FOUND ONE SINGLE VERSE TO PROVE IT 3) Store up your treasures in heaven AFTER I BANK 5 MILLION 4) Great teaching opportinity at a christian school WE PAY REALLY LOUSY 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legion Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 That's funny Anti. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 ...and quite realistic I'm afraid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdaddy Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 He's a quick learner!! Welcome to reality, kid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antix Posted July 1, 2012 Author Share Posted July 1, 2012 I taught overseas for awhile and then decided I would like to see more of the world and get paid for it. While searching, I noticed anything that said christian school paid really lousy and they wanted you to get missionary funding to help out. I talked to one place in Belize and it sounded great but the 3rd time I talked to the guy that ran the place, I asked "you are looking for volunteers aren't you" and he said yes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaiser01 Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 I taught overseas for awhile and then decided I would like to see more of the world and get paid for it. While searching, I noticed anything that said christian school paid really lousy and they wanted you to get missionary funding to help out. I talked to one place in Belize and it sounded great but the 3rd time I talked to the guy that ran the place, I asked "you are looking for volunteers aren't you" and he said yes. Missionary work is a paid vacation, most of them probably dont do anything but just say they do so they can keep getting paid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Babylonian Dream Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 You're learning well! But also, this just proves that you don't have to be an atheist to see how their views of what God wants often is wrapped around what they want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdaddy Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 Hey antix, how old are you anyway? For some reason I think you're in your 20s but you may not be. Just curious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wndwalkr99 Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 I need some help decoding something. What does "in Christ" mean, really? Besides the obvious homoerotic connotations, natch. I mean, it is clearly an inappropriate use of a preposition. So what is the eintended meaning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thought2Much Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 Bless your heart! = Fuck you. I'll be praying for you = Fuck you. One day, I hope the Lord will bring you conviction about that = You're wrong, and fuck you. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdaddy Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 Bless your heart! = Fuck you. I'll be praying for you = Fuck you. One day, I hope the Lord will bring you conviction about that = You're wrong, and fuck you. And some people say xians dont give a fuck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oddbird1963 Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 I need some help decoding something. What does "in Christ" mean, really? Besides the obvious homoerotic connotations, natch. I mean, it is clearly an inappropriate use of a preposition. So what is the eintended meaning Paul used the phrase in his epistles quite a lot. If you are "in Christ you are a new creation." And "There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus." Basically, the idea developed throughout the body of work attributed to what I call the "virtual Apostle Paul" is that there is this "spiritual" union with Jesus Christ when we come to believe in him. We spiritually die, are spiritually buried and then spiritually resurrected with him as new and transformed creatures in that sphere of "reality" known as the kingdom of heaven. It's like being a super-being in the virtual world of an online game. Only (shhhhh, don't upset the Christians) it's not real! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdaddy Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 I need some help decoding something. What does "in Christ" mean, really? Besides the obvious homoerotic connotations, natch. I mean, it is clearly an inappropriate use of a preposition. So what is the eintended meaning It's a special club. If you're "in Christ" that means you're in the club. The first rule of Christ club is, don't talk about Christ club. The second rule....well you know the rest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Overcame Faith Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 Christian love = being judgmental and pointing out that what you are doing/thinking/saying is of the devil. I'll pray for you = I really won't, but I'm supposed to at least say it since I am a Christian. God is leading me to [insert whatever decision a person made] = The person really wants to do whatever it is and they are trying to stop all debate on the issue since who can debate god. I feel the lord's presence = an emotional feeling is misinterpreted as the holy spirit. The bible clearly says = Cherry picking verses that go along with the person's own preconceived notion(s). Jesus saves = saves us from the very same hell that he [supposedly] created so we are being saved from his wrath. Lean not on your own understanding = Don't think just accept what I say the Bible means. In the beginning god... = We can't explain how the world began so it must have been god (the god of the gaps). Would you please come to my church = our church needs more money and we have this ego thing about having lots of members to demonstrate our success. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legion Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 Bless your heart! = Fuck you. I can assure you that this is an incorrect meaning. "Bless your heart", is actually a rather subtle phrase whose meaning changes upon the context of usage. It could roughly mean... "The trials you've faced are almost unbearable." or "You are incapable of meeting the challenges of your circumstances." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antix Posted July 1, 2012 Author Share Posted July 1, 2012 Hey antix, how old are you anyway? For some reason I think you're in your 20s but you may not be. Just curious. 51 accepted Christ at age 19 (college). Took it pretty seriously from age 25-27 and slowly fell out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antix Posted July 1, 2012 Author Share Posted July 1, 2012 Christian love = being judgmental and pointing out that what you are doing/thinking/saying is of the devil. I'll pray for you = I really won't, but I'm supposed to at least say it since I am a Christian. God is leading me to [insert whatever decision a person made] = The person really wants to do whatever it is and they are trying to stop all debate on the issue since who can debate god. I feel the lord's presence = an emotional feeling is misinterpreted as the holy spirit. The bible clearly says = Cherry picking verses that go along with the person's own preconceived notion(s). Jesus saves = saves us from the very same hell that he [supposedly] created so we are being saved from his wrath. Lean not on your own understanding = Don't think just accept what I say the Bible means. In the beginning god... = We can't explain how the world began so it must have been god (the god of the gaps). Would you please come to my church = our church needs more money and we have this ego thing about having lots of members to demonstrate our success. Well said Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antix Posted July 1, 2012 Author Share Posted July 1, 2012 I taught overseas for awhile and then decided I would like to see more of the world and get paid for it. While searching, I noticed anything that said christian school paid really lousy and they wanted you to get missionary funding to help out. I talked to one place in Belize and it sounded great but the 3rd time I talked to the guy that ran the place, I asked "you are looking for volunteers aren't you" and he said yes. Missionary work is a paid vacation, most of them probably dont do anything but just say they do so they can keep getting paid. friend of mine (not a believer, but a really really nice guy. goes to church for the kids. Every June they do a missionary trip, about 60 people). they go to a poor area of the country and do home repairs on houses and they live in a school in sleeping bags and eat what the locals serve. People I know that have done missioanry work (hard core believers) stay in decent to nice places and do something a couple hrs a day and then enjoy life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniterider Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 1) The Lord wants us to: WE WANT TO 2) That is wrong I DO NOT LIKE IT AND I FOUND ONE SINGLE VERSE TO PROVE IT 3) Store up your treasures in heaven AFTER I BANK 5 MILLION 4) Great teaching opportinity at a christian school WE PAY REALLY LOUSY I like #1. :-) 'God said' means 'I said' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniterider Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 "You can have a personal relationship with Jesus" = "Act and think the way I tell you" "Read your bible every day" = "Read your bible...then I will explain that whatever you just read actually means that you should act and think the way I tell you. The act of reading the uber-boring bible will result in your nodding off, also known as the alpha state where you are more open to hypnotic suggestion....repeat after me 'Jesus needs your dollars'...." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BendyLine Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 "___ needs prayer" = "Have you heard the latest gossip about ___?" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdaddy Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 Hey antix, how old are you anyway? For some reason I think you're in your 20s but you may not be. Just curious. 51 accepted Christ at age 19 (college). Took it pretty seriously from age 25-27 and slowly fell out. Wow sorry to call ya kid! lol You got 18 years on me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConureDelSol Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 "Come to my church" also has an alternative meaning: "Come with me to a place where everyone disapproves of the same stuff I do and submit to peer pressure while I try to fix the things I think are wrong with you." 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sybaris Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 Missionary work is a paid vacation, most of them probably dont do anything but just say they do so they can keep getting paid. A church my wife and I went to several years ago was run by a professional financial adviser. If you look at his website he only does financial planning for wealthy christians. This guy had just taken over when we started attending and through the course of a year he ran the place down and ended up with his flock at a defunct theater. One of his schemes was to get his daughter on a mission trip to Kenya. One of the "essentials" was a $25000.00 vehicle. Now I've been to Kenya and for $25k you could buy at least 5 decent vehicles. This was on top of the other $25000.00 she needed for subsistence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inqui Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 God is all-powerful = The church needs money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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