thesadclown Posted August 5, 2012 Share Posted August 5, 2012 Emailed my church: To the staff of <My church>, I am writing this to inform you that I no longer anticipate attending <My church> from henceforth. From my perspective, there seems no point in continuing this practice, as I am not a Christian nor have I been for at least 5 years now. I feel I have done my best to give Christianity a fair chance, for I wrestled for two years prior to losing my faith and now another 5 years of faithfully mimicking Christian behavior after the loss of my faith in an effort to regain it. It has not worked. I have informed <My wife> that I no longer wish to attend church services and community life meetings, nor do I wish to contribute what I feel is my portion of our income to tithing and offerings. However, I will continue to support her commitment and have no qualms with driving her and the children to church or with her giving five percent of our gross income, as this seems fair. I also want you to know that I have had nothing but good experiences with the people of <My church> and that there was no issue other than Christianity and its doctrines that now motivates me to depart. I do regret the distance this decision will create between me and my friends and acquaintances at <My church>, but the time spent there is almost wholly devoted to a belief system I do not share. My solution to date has simply to try and bear it in silence, but the stress that this causes me has built up to the point where the time spent with my friends there is no longer beneficial to my overall well-being. I have no compunctions with meeting together in a more neutral venue, but I realize now that I have come to increasingly dread my times spent at church each Sunday. This is an untenable situation in the long term and so I felt it was time to make the decision to remove myself from the circumstances that were the source of it. I wish to thank you, and the membership at <My church> as well, for all of the care and friendship that you have extended me and my family. I made the decision to bring my family to <My church> at a point in my life where my Christian faith was rapidly breaking down. I made that decision in the hope that even if I were to lose my faith, that at least my wife and family would have a place where they could be happy and surrounded by friends in a nurturing and supportive environment. I look back on this decision as probably the best one I have ever made regarding religion and I have no regrets because of it. All of you have more than lived up to my expectations and you should be proud of this fact. I am sure that I will see many of you in the course of my wife’s participation in the church, and so I cannot say that this is goodbye. Rather, it is simply the next phase in our relationship, and I hope that I will navigate it with grace as I make my way through this uncertain period of my life. Thank you for your time and the patience you have displayed with me. Sincerely, <Me> 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Xtech Posted August 5, 2012 Share Posted August 5, 2012 Hope this has the desired effect on your life, and best wishes in your journey. BTW maybe it's not an option where you are located (some of you in the Bible Belt really have it tough!!) but there are great communities to be involved in that can provide the friendship and fellowship you were looking for, for yourself and your family. Without the funky doctrine or dogma. My family attends the Unitarian church and that works out well for us. I also run with a running club on Sunday mornings and we share our love for the outdoors and exercise, and its a great way to meet like-minded people, as well as a bonding experience for those that have become friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator TrueFreedom Posted August 5, 2012 Moderator Share Posted August 5, 2012 Excellent letter, Sad. You handled that with exceptional grace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted August 5, 2012 Share Posted August 5, 2012 Wow! Great letter!!! You articulated the reason you left clearly and with grace. You aren't closing any doors, just explaining your absence. I commend you on this excellent letter. Let us know the fallout.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeverAgainV Posted August 5, 2012 Share Posted August 5, 2012 Good for you in writing the letter & getting it out in the open! That takes a lot of courage to do. Though if they are the more rigid type of christians with fundamentalist leanings.. the letter might not go over so well. Please do what you can to keep your physical & mental health as being around people who just guilt you all of the time isn't healthy. You may want to see if there are more open minded groups in your community to be involved in if you miss the "fellowship". Let us know how it goes & Take Care of yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thesadclown Posted August 5, 2012 Author Share Posted August 5, 2012 Thank you everyone. I haven't had that much trouble with the staff at my former church. Mostly they've been very understanding. The biggest hurdle has always been my wife's resistance and I think I've finally resolved myself to meet it head on (in a reasonable manner) and give us both the push we've needed to move on. Thanks to everyone for the encouragement and support. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeCoastie Posted August 5, 2012 Share Posted August 5, 2012 Certainly a big step. I can't see how you could be anymore civil. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silentknight Posted August 5, 2012 Share Posted August 5, 2012 Good luck. Keep us informed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeasabird Posted August 6, 2012 Share Posted August 6, 2012 That's a great well reasoned letter. Keep us posted with any updates, please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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