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Did Anyone Ever Ask You "what's Different About You?"


Chikirin
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Like I heard my pastor always say Live to the glory of God and in submission to the spirit, and people will sense something different about you and want to know what it is! Then you can tell them "It's because of Jesus."

 

Did that ever happen to any of you?

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No, because everyone around me was Christian, if you didn't behave like a bible thumper you got asked that question.

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No. At least not in a positive sense.

 

There was a period when the cognitive dissonance, intrusive thoughts that Christianity imposed on me, made me very miserable. I do think some people realized that, but I don't think it would have been good PR for Christianity if I told them Christianity made me that way. rolleyes.gif

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German mainstream christians take quite a bit of perceived reasons to start asking such questions :)

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Never. I was a judgemental bitch when I was a Xian, so I was different, but not in any admirable way.

 

That's one thing I've gotten post-deconversion, more friends. More people seem to trust me now. So I guess I'm more likely to get that questin now than I ever was.

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I've had several people ask that since I deconverted, but I don't remember anybody asking it while I was Christian.

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I had a christian that i met whilst travelling in India tell me he sensed i was a christian as soon as he met me, mainly because i didn't swear or drink or anything. i think non-christians just thought i was a boring prude. which i was.

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Either I was around a lot of Christians, and everyone was happy to sit in their holy circle and tell themselves they had the right answer, or I was around a lot of non-Christians, and I quickly realised none of them cared about what I believed (and even if they knew, they wouldn't attribute it to religion). I was rather disappointed that I couldn't be a light for Jesus.

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I often hear the argument that we should not judge Christianity by what Christians are like, because people are imperfect even if they are Christians. This is told usually when someone points out the rampant corruption, the hypocrisy, the judgmentalness and the like in Christian churches.

 

But how does it correspond with the claim Christians are the light of the world?

 

Either you use that excuse that people are people no matter if they are Christians or not (in other words you admit that Christianity doesn't really change people for the better) or you make the claim that Christians are the light of the world (which is obviously not true when you look at Christian churches). You cannot have it both ways.

 

Christians are the light of the world = just another lie by Jesus.

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jesus also said 'by their fruits you shall know them'. Which is true, it's just that their fruits taste terrible.

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No. Yet this idea still persists among Christians. You are supposed to have a complete change of life when you are "saved". Then everyone will sense you are different. How is this actually supposed to happen anyway, when you are raised by Christian parents and Christianity is all you have ever known?

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I heard this all the time in the christian circle. It's funny how all of us had reached a point in our life where nothing seemed to be working right and we wanted a change. As a friend told me yesterday, she knows jesus is real because she got down on her knees and begged for forgiveness and everything changed after that.

 

When I became a christian, my parents said I was different because I had more peace... I think I just chose to mature.

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Nope. I Never got asked that. I use to WANT people to ask though....ugh. Because I was hoping I was exuding some kind of peaceful, I am so happy in life vibe so I could share my "secret" with them of how jebus is the answer! But that didn't happen and so it was yet another thing for me to have insecurity over as I thought I wasn't being "joyful" enough for people to even notice and so i felt I wasn't being a good witness or a very good Christian.

The thing is If I am not smiling I look really miserable which is a bit of a problem. I get asked what's wrong, is everything ok? Lol. But I can't go around with a fixed smile on my face.

 

Anyhow, the happy feelings I use to get when I was a believer, they were short lived. The joy waned after a while and the confusion and discontentment set in. I probably looked very depressed and had a face like thunder because that is what I was feeling towards the end.

 

 

 

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I don't recall that specific question being asked (if it did, it wasn't a lot and I've forgotten).

 

However, I did have a similar question asked of me a few times by another Christian, which was essentially, "How do you do it?" I was extremely committed to the Christian faith, and I was studying and learning the Bible (through Christian lenses), living my life with honesty and without the "bad" things Christians typically ranted against (secular music, non-G-rated movies, getting drunk, partying, swearing, etc.) and without being "influenced by the world," and I genuinely cared about people, as well as the environment (I hated wastefulness and advocated recycling and conservation). I had "grown in the faith" to the point where I actually had control over my thought life, and if I was tempted with a lustful thought, I could force myself to focus on something else and not entertain the thought. I was as much of a "godbot" as one can be, and this fellow Christian felt like a failure and wanted to know how to be a better Christian. At the time I thought it was a two-fold thing, requiring both the Holy Spirit and personal discipline, so I encouraged him to focus on God and have the willpower to just do the "right" thing.

 

Of course, now I see it differently. I still think that discipline played a role in some of that, but I also think that my personal makeup was a huge factor. No Holy Spirit exists, and even now that I've been out of Christianity for nearly a decade, I still care for people and the environment and honesty, and I stay away from things that I consider "bad." My perspective of what is "bad" has changed some, of course, since I can now look at issues logically and critically instead of just swallowing Christian tradition, but I still have an aversion to intentionally doing things that have negative impacts. Beyond that, even though I don't see a problem with drinking (responsibly), I personally have no interest in it even now, and I'm still not comfortable with "partying." It's basically just a matter of who I am.

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I am asked some form of that question or approached in that light (without people actually asking that question) fairly frequently. It happened as a xian, and it happens now as an atheist with the same regularity.

 

I think that reaction from people is based on what I value and how I carry myself. The point is that it has nothing to do with a xian belief system. Like everything else, life works the same with or without that context.

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No one ever asked me "What is different about you?" when I was a believer. Even more telling, after I had already mentally given up Christianity, not one person at church ever asked me if I was having trouble with my faith.

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Nobody ever asked me what was different about me, but a few told me what was different about me, and the information was not always pleasing. It couldn't have had anything to do with Christianity, though, as I abandoned that in sixth or seventh grade. Mostly it was personality stuff, like "You're kinda odd in a way", etc. I doubt I heard that any more than the average person, though. We're all odd to some people, I suppose.

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I'll be straight up with y'all here: I don't think Christians are able to think past themselves enough to even notice other people much less wonder about them in any capacity save how to make them into another notch for the Bible cover. The worldview is incredibly narcissistic. Obviously there are exceptions, but even when they're doing "charity" work it's got all kinds of strings attached--to get the food you must listen to their Sunday service. Or you must agree to have the baby you don't want and can't afford. Or let them build a church in your village and teach myths you think are barbaric.

 

When you have a religion that makes childish gullibility and infantile dependence into virtues, I'm not sure why you have a right to be shocked that its members are awful people to those around them. They're taught to be childish their whole lives, and that is exactly what they act like.

 

With the horror stories I've read on here, I'm not upset that not a single one of the churches I attended reached out to me as I drifted away or talked to me about it afterward. About the only Christians who ever commented on me being different post-conversion were skeezy Christian guys who were using it as a bizarre sort of pickup line: "Wow, you're so awesome! You must be a Christian!" WTF?!?

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Only time anybody asked me a question like that was in 1987 at a veterans hospital north of Chicago. It was summer. I failed to curse after I noticed a gurney I was trying to push had the brakes turned to on on the wheels. The guy asked me, "Are you religious or something?"

 

I was at the time - very religious. But the reason I didn't cuss was because I was in an environment of people I didn't know. Like it was said in a fb thread the other day. When it comes to cursing, "Know your audience." I didn't know my audience, so I didn't curse.

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Knight - No kidding. But I think it was a sort of "fishing" like girls in high school used to do-- "Nice necklace! Is it from your girlfriend?"

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That's one of the thoughts that really drove my deconversion. "If Christians are so different from everyone else, in what ways is that true? Where are these fruits of the spirit?" I decided to assume that that Christians weren't any more loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, etc., than the population at large - not worse, not better, just the same - then I started looking for examples to prove myself wrong. My first attempt at skeptical inquiry. In the many years since, I've noticed two main differences between Christians and everyone else: 1) they believe in Jesus, and 2) they have somewhere to go on Sunday mornings. Some are nice, some are jerks, some are happy, some sad, just like everyone else. That "we're so different" story is just a self-serving tribal in-group bonding meme, exactly like the "we're so persecuted" one.

 

So, no, nobody ever asked me that. I imagine it happens very rarely and only to exceptionally interesting people, regardless of their religion.

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