Immediate Distrust Of Christians

[Kurari]

Does anybody else here get an immediate sense of distrust when you find out someone you've just met is a Christian (or a Muslim?)

 

I feel like I'm put on the defensive the second I find out the religious status of people. Jews, Buddhists, pagans, and so on I don't feel that way about, but Christians instantly make me wary. Of course, I know Christians who have earned my respect and I have no onus against them (Hell, I'm married to one) but they have to prove that they don't "act like Christians." But in general, Christians are given a red flag by my mind while I get them the benefit of the doubt. It takes me longer to trust someone who identifies as Christian or Muslim.

 

I'm not sure what I think about this, because it's a clear prejudice I've discovered within myself. Prejudice typically isn't a good thing, but...well...it seems there are some schools of thought that just shouldn't be tolerated, I believe. We outright hate KKK, NeoNAZIS, NAMBLA, Anti-Abortionists, and those sorts of orgs that promote harm, intolerance, and backward-thinking.

 

I think Christianity is in general is among that.

 

Feel free to tell me if I'm being over-reactionary or ridiculous because you may well be right.

[Edie]

Actually, prejudice is a very important thing. It helps you make immediate decisions about people and whether they are trustworthy or not. People who look different to ourselves immediately arouse suspicion. Prejudice is an important survival tool that is difficult to overcome - though in some cases, it is right to work toward that.

 

I think that distrust of Christians is an inevitable result of having been treated badly by Christians. Here in the UK most Christians I meet are very sane, reasonable people. (Depending where you live, your experience may differ.) Yet I still assume they are bad people until I get to know them, at which point I normally get a pleasant surprise.

[oddbird1963]

I don't necessarily get an immediate sense of distrust, at least I don't think it's distrust. When I find out someone is a Christian, I assume they are under the belief that they are somehow more decent and more special because they're Christian, like they have "decency" or have "integrity," rather than they are trying to be decent or striving for integrity. I actually got that distinction from Cal Thomas years ago when he was discussing journalistic objectivity.

 

I think it's important to remember our ideals are something we strive toward, not something we are. Religious people think their devotion makes them what they strive for. The proper role of mythology is to remind us of those values, not make us feel prematurely mature.

[Guest Valk0010]

I find I get immediately distrustful anytime someone tells me their catholic.

[flockoff]

I tend more towards immediate pity. I've yet to meet someone that just blurted it outright like its supposed to impress me, but I guess in that particular situation I'd be distrustful.

[Deva]

I try not to have an inordinate amount of distrust upon just first meeting them. "Christian" covers a lot of territory. You have very nominal Christians that don't take it seriously, and then you have the crazies.

 

I DO distrust businesses that advertise their Christianity. Automatically I want to go elsewhere. Just a prejudice I have. I don't like people advertising their religion in relation to business.

 

This is one reason I really don't like labels. If you say "I am (whatever)" - people instantly make judgments and put you in a box.

[mymistake]

I would distrust their judgment. If they say they are Christian to me that is like admitting that their world view is wack.

[CDFree]

Actually, prejudice is a very important thing. It helps you make immediate decisions about people and whether they are trustworthy or not. People who look different to ourselves immediately arouse suspicion. Prejudice is an important survival tool that is difficult to overcome - though in some cases, it is right to work toward that.

 

I think that distrust of Christians is an inevitable result of having been treated badly by Christians. Here in the UK most Christians I meet are very sane, reasonable people. (Depending where you live, your experience may differ.) Yet I still assume they are bad people until I get to know them, at which point I normally get a pleasant surprise.

 

Unfortunately I managed to find the UK whack packs and after the way they treated me I have no trust or respect for them.

[MerryG]

Actually, prejudice is a very important thing. It helps you make immediate decisions about people and whether they are trustworthy or not. People who look different to ourselves immediately arouse suspicion. Prejudice is an important survival tool that is difficult to overcome - though in some cases, it is right to work toward that.

 

Absolutely dead on, Edie. Prejudice is a very important survival tool. We've been taught that it's bad, which is simply a way of teaching us to distrust our own instincts. Now bigotry, on the other hand ... definitely bad. Prejudice is a first impression or an impression not gained from personal experience, subject to change. Bigotry is a closed mind.

[MerryG]

Funny, for many, many years after I deconverted, I had an automatic positive response to Christians -- not out of any respect for the religion, but because I supposed it at least meant they'd probably be honest people. Ha!

 

Now ... yes, some prejudice. If I've known someone for a while and I then learn they're Christian, no biggie. But if it comes up early on, my reaction is a tightening of the gut and shoulders. Oh oh, are they going to start preaching at me?

[bloodyengel]

I feel this way too. Regardless of what kind of Christian they say they are. I don't care how progressive or how fundamentalist, or how mormon or catholic. I really don't want to be around that. I'm also in the process of de-converting in some ways that I haven't already...so for now, trying to figure out who I am and all that stuff, I really don't like being around Christians period. And when someone makes some kind of Biblical reference or thinks I'm one of them I just feel disgust. It's so disgusting to me.

 

 

Actually, prejudice is a very important thing. It helps you make immediate decisions about people and whether they are trustworthy or not. People who look different to ourselves immediately arouse suspicion. Prejudice is an important survival tool that is difficult to overcome - though in some cases, it is right to work toward that.

 

Absolutely dead on, Edie. Prejudice is a very important survival tool. We've been taught that it's bad, which is simply a way of teaching us to distrust our own instincts. Now bigotry, on the other hand ... definitely bad. Prejudice is a first impression or an impression not gained from personal experience, subject to change. Bigotry is a closed mind.

 

I want to make a note: I do not believe in dualism so, when you say something is bad are you saying it is evil and your worldview is dualistic? I just want to clarify. I am trying not to say things are bad or good as a way to deprogram.

[WMDKitty]

Oh, thank the gods I'm not the only one!

 

I mean, there are Christians I know and love and trust -- BECAUSE they have proven themselves worthy of it. (And they're family.)

 

I try to take each on an individual basis, but... I dunno, it's hard when you've been subject to so much crap from Christians

[Mike D]

My reaction is more of a <rolling eyes> oh no what kind of religious kookism is this person going to subject me to.

 

As long as they keep it to themselves, I neither trust nor distrust them more or less than anyone else.

[MerryG]

I want to make a note: I do not believe in dualism so, when you say something is bad are you saying it is evil and your worldview is dualistic? I just want to clarify. I am trying not to say things are bad or good as a way to deprogram.

 

Well, I do believe some things are black-white/good-bad (e.g. duality or no, an aggressive killing of an innocent person would be bad). And personally I do believe having a closed mind is not a good thing. But you're surely free to think otherwise. Doesn't really matter what I think. If you are determined to have no dualities in your life, then go for it.

[florduh]

I'm with Deva. Claiming Christianity doesn't tell me much about an individual, but Christian businesses have a very bad reputation. It's as if they know a certain number of unsuspecting fools will patronize their shoddy enterprise on the sole basis of their claimed religious affiliation.

[Lilith666]

No, I don't think you are overreacting.

 

I know exactly how you feel. When someone tells me s/he is Xian or Muslim, I automatically start running over the list of things they probably believe that I think are wrong:

 

-The bible/Qur'an

-Women are ditzy and that's why men should make all the important decisions

-Whatever Gawd/Allah says is OK because he said it

-I am going to Hell because I don't believe the way they do

 

I'm thinking, "Are you gonna try to convert me? (Bring it.) Are you feeling sorry for me because I must be miserable without X/Allah? Are you looking down on me because I wasn't fortunate enough to be a man? Do you twist the bible/Qur'an to make it nicer? Watch what you say to me because I bite."

 

So yeah, I do immediately distrust Xians and Muslims. In today's politically correct society, admitting you don't like Islam is considered hate speech. Actually, I don't hate Muslims. Islam came from Xianity, so I just associate them with Xians, who are the biggest crowd of self-righteous, complacent, hypocritical, smug, intentionally stupid numskulls I have ever met. Thank you for posting this. I don't feel so racist anymore. (Islam isn't a race, nor is it limited to Arabs, but the media makes you feel racist for disliking it.)

[Lilith666]

I find I get immediately distrustful anytime someone tells me their catholic.

 

Same here. Absolute pure gut reaction against Roman Catholics. Even the

evangelical/fundamentalists that get so much hate at this site don't even

come CLOSE to affecting me the way that Catholics do.

 

Am I still a bigot if I tried as hard as I possibly could to respect them and to

be open to them as individuals, yet just couldn't ever manage to get there?

 

No, don't worry about it. I feel the same way with Xians in general. You probably can't shake the feeling because you've had bad experiences with them.

[lunaticheathen]

I DO distrust businesses that advertise their Christianity. Automatically I want to go elsewhere. Just a prejudice I have. I don't like people advertising their religion in relation to business.

I'm with Deva. Claiming Christianity doesn't tell me much about an individual, but Christian businesses have a very bad reputation. It's as if they know a certain number of unsuspecting fools will patronize their shoddy enterprise on the sole basis of their claimed religious affiliation.

 

Me three. Especially after hearing about the local businesspeople my dad had to deal with in that small AL town, and invariably, the most dishonest and nasty ones all had those fucking fish on their signs. The jeebus fish now means, to me, "crooked self-righteous cheat."

 

Now, if I've just met a person, and they bring up their faith unbidden, I tend to be wary as well - I wonder about their motives in discussion, ie, will they convert me? The context in the conversation matters a lot as to what I will think of their religion.

[MerryG]

I DO distrust businesses that advertise their Christianity. Automatically I want to go elsewhere. Just a prejudice I have. I don't like people advertising their religion in relation to business.

I'm with Deva. Claiming Christianity doesn't tell me much about an individual, but Christian businesses have a very bad reputation. It's as if they know a certain number of unsuspecting fools will patronize their shoddy enterprise on the sole basis of their claimed religious affiliation.

 

Me three. Especially after hearing about the local businesspeople my dad had to deal with in that small AL town, and invariably, the most dishonest and nasty ones all had those fucking fish on their signs. The jeebus fish now means, to me, "crooked self-righteous cheat."

 

 

Me four. :-) I never really thought about how honest or dishonest those "fishy" businesses may be. But the owners are clearly saying, "I want to deal only with my own kind." I totally think they have a right to do that, but the next time somebody hands me a business card with the fishy on it, I'm going to hand it back and say, "Sorry, but you've already told me you don't want to have my kind of people as customers."

 

Of course, the smarter Christian businessfolk have already figured out they're alienating potential customers and losing business. In my part of the country (not the bible belt) you don't see as many of the finny folk as you used to on business cards and signs.

[inorbit]

I also go out of my way to avoid Christian businesses. Some of them are real doozies, too. I heard about one local one in particular while I was still in ministry. it was during a meeting. In the small talk before the meeting started, it came up that there was a local juicing company/juice bar that was recently opened by some fellow ministry staff members.

 

Guess the name. No, you'll never guess. I literally did a *facepalm* when I heard it: "Marketplace Justice."

 

Dominionism, anyone?

 

Apparently, a portion of their profits was going to support groups working with ending human trafficking. That's cool and all... but then they had all the Jesus stuff in there, too. It was all about "taking back" the "marketplace" and spreading Christianity's influence.

 

All of us in the meeting laughed at it, actually. I even groaned out loud and said, "Ugh! Christians are so *WEIRD*!" Everyone in the room agreed with me. ...And that's a small glimpse of why I was able to stick it out with the ministry for so long after my deconversion. As far as Christians go, they were a surprisingly down-to-earth bunch. In fact, I think they're why I still don't have any immediate red flags when it comes up that someone is a Christian. Then again, my path away from Christianity had nothing to do with wrongful actions by anyone in the Church, unlike many here. I've been lucky in that regard.