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Get Me Out Of This Hellhole.


Lilith666
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Today I was in church (I live with my parents, so I have to go). A friend and I were recruited to help with Sunday School. Run to the office and make a copy of this, please. Rachel, would you run the PowerPoint? There's a dear. Can you girls help Shelly in the Bible Verse Hunt?

 

The pastor's wife, who is the leader, thanked us. "Not that you really had a choice," she adds breezily. This annoys me. I don't need to be reminded

that "volunteering" to help out in Vacation Bible School or SS during

church hours isn't voluntary. I don't like being "asked" to help with

something I hate when they're not asking; they are demanding. I think they

know I hate it, but that doesn't matter to them. I'll probably be convicted by

the holy spook and return to the fold at some point.

 

They start telling the kids that God should be glorified for everything we do. Laura plays guitar on the worship team. Liz is good at sports, and I'm academically talented. The snotty leader I mentioned tells the kids it's

wrong to be proud of anything they've done. "Who gave you your special

ability? Not you. Gawd did. So instead of taking credit for your talent,

remember to always glorify Gawd." The hours Laura put into practicing

guitar, the weekends Liz gave up to play volleyball, the nights I stayed up

late writing essays don't belong to us. God did all that.

 

Then in the service, I hear more garbage about how none of us deserves Godzilla's grace. We're all evil, and nothing we could do, besides groveling to Gawd about his amazing gift, could earn us one minute in Heaven. This

reminds me of why Xianity made me feel incompetent and worthless. I'm

already mad, and I don't need to hear this. I hope someone notices I look

like I ate tar.

 

I spend all Sunday morning scowling like I hate everyone there, which right now I do. They're all creeps. I picture myself going after those creatures with a meat cleaver. Anything that makes me feel this hateful and violent should die.

 

Later, Dad asks why I didn't look bright and chipper. Another lady had commented to him about it. *giggles* The churchies probably think I don't like them. Good for them. I'm going to do this next week and every week until I move out in a year. Maybe (I hope) by then I'll have a bad

reputation.  End rant.

 

Do you guys have stories of your worst Xian experiences?

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Hey Lilith triple six, hang in there. It can't last forever. You remind me of "Tony". A few years ago an old lady at my ex-Church was constantly looking for her teen grandson Tony. She was alway telling me how evil he was and how she had to get on his case to make sure he went to the right service. Tony would sit out in the hallway and talk with his frends during Church if he could. He got quite good at finding hiding places. Even back when I was a Chrisitan I thought the old lady was being crazy harsh on him. I mean so what if he thought the service was boring. She had bats in the head.

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The military has a good word for your situation, "voluntold." You were voluntold to help out at vacation bible school.

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The military has a good word for your situation, "voluntold." You were voluntold to help out at vacation bible school.

 

I like it. That's exactly how I felt.

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I barely spoke to anyone for at least a year before I bailed out of church. The conversations were so mind-numbingly stupid I just couldn't take it. It was all "God did this for me this week" and "God did that for me last week" and "You know, God's word says..." and "God revealed to me this week that..." and then my spinal cord would try to wrap itself around my carotid artery to try to knock me out. I finally would only speak when spoken to, and only if we talked about my kids, and not about whatever experience they had with their made-up deity that week.

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They start telling the kids that God should be glorified for everything we do. Laura plays guitar on the worship team. Liz is good at sports, and I'm academically talented. The snotty leader I mentioned tells the kids it's

wrong to be proud of anything they've done. "Who gave you your special

ability? Not you. Gawd did. So instead of taking credit for your talent,

remember to always glorify Gawd." The hours Laura put into practicing

guitar, the weekends Liz gave up to play volleyball, the nights I stayed up

late writing essays don't belong to us. God did all that.

 

 

"Pastor Bob! I took the biggest, smelliest poop in the toilet! Praise God for that healthy one! Pastor Bob, check out this gnarly booger on my finger! Aint god fantastic! Hosanna Hosanna Dana Dana! Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp! Wow gawd gave me the gift of burping!!!! Thank you lawd! Pastor Bob! I just found out Mrs Wiggins has painful hemmorhoids! Aint god wonderful!!!!! She couldn't have done that without god's help!!! I lovez him so! Pastor Bob! I think god is ....... [bARFFFFFFF all over the room] ........ testing me! Hallelujah!"

 

"Ok , Shelly I'll help you with scripture hunt... here it is, Jeremiah 19:9..."

 

"Hey, look , I learned to speak in tongues....Varque sumnitches ... Varqoff, mikheds"

 

"Oh, Snotty Leader, why didn't god give YOU any special talents?" :-)

 

"Ok, Sunday schoolers, one day I was trying to hot-wire this car and couldn't figure it out. I was about to give up when I heard a little voice say, 'With god, all things are possible!' So I prayed to Jebus and kept touching wires together till it started up! Praise gawd! Without His help I wouldnt have got that Beemer to the chop shop and probably woulda got busted."

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Pastor Bob! I just found out Mrs Wiggins has painful hemmorhoids! Aint god wonderful!!!!! She couldn't have done that without god's help!!! I lovez him so!

 

Good GAWD! What did Mrs. Wiggins steal??? The last time god zapped folks with hemorrhoids like that, they had made off with the Ark of the Covenant*. Mrs. Wiggins or the church wouldn't be having a little rat problem by any chance, would they? They better hurry up and make some models of Mrs. Wiggins' hemorrhoids and the rats and then maybe god will give her another talent, like making prize winning pot-luck casserole.

 

 

*1 Samuel chs. 5 - 6

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Last night at church I almost cracked, in fact, I now have the nerve to start positing Atheist material on facebook.

 

Everything these people do is stupid, everything they say is moronic, everything they think, assume and lie about is intelictually destitute. I have sat through this religion for almost two decades of my existence and its still not over. Usually in church I like to sit by myself and try to forget im even there but last night everyone in the damn institution thought it would be the shits to bother me about how I sit by myself. They eventually came back and sat beside me, it pissed me off so bad i was ready to just leave the church. I wanted to scream out...

 

I dont want your religon...

I dont want your God...

I dont want your ideology...

I dont want your ignorance...

I dont want your way of life...

I want my freedom back, i want to stop being forced to forget who I am everytime I walk into a church. I become a bitter and cynical person and im tired of it. Im tired of the hate, im tired of keeping silent. Why is it too much to ask to simply be left alone?

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I can relate to this, L6! Christianity was the life-size poultice for any self-esteem not eradicated by my mother. To this day, it's hard to take credit for anything I do. I have no self-esteem!

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....and then my spinal cord would try to wrap itself around my carotid artery to try to knock me out...

yelrotflmao.gif

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Last night at church I almost cracked, in fact, I now have the nerve to start positing Atheist material on facebook.

 

Everything these people do is stupid, everything they say is moronic, everything they think, assume and lie about is intelictually destitute. I have sat through this religion for almost two decades of my existence and its still not over. Usually in church I like to sit by myself and try to forget im even there but last night everyone in the damn institution thought it would be the shits to bother me about how I sit by myself. They eventually came back and sat beside me, it pissed me off so bad i was ready to just leave the church. I wanted to scream out...

 

I dont want your religon...

I dont want your God...

I dont want your ideology...

I dont want your ignorance...

I dont want your way of life...

I want my freedom back, i want to stop being forced to forget who I am everytime I walk into a church. I become a bitter and cynical person and im tired of it. Im tired of the hate, im tired of keeping silent. Why is it too much to ask to simply be left alone?

 

I know exactly how being in that situation feels. Best of luck to you when you finally decide to bail for real. It sounds like you are already totally out intellectually and emotionally, and now they just have you trapped physically. Well, there's only so long they can hold you.

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Good luck, guys, hold on, can't be much left. Write your grand and glorious exit speech in your heads, and have it ready, because one day soon you'll get to use it.

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I have been in the most unusual position of running the church's sound board even though the core leadership and many others know I have deconverted to atheist. In fact I get compliments on being the best. I only go and run it when asked by the production director whom I mentored and encouraged as he grew when I was a believer. He knows I am an atheist also. I encouraged him to move to this church several years ago so feel i owe him as much when the theist sound guy is away. And my wife is still a believer and attends. I admit a few times being tempted to shut the mic off. Recently during a rant on sin.

 

Thankfully I had my iPad so I could check out this site while running sound for a 300 person service. Lol

 

I have wondered what the reaction would be if something went wrong while I was running it. Guess someone might say the devil made me do it. Lol. Should I play any Dawkins backwards under the worship music?

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I have been in the most unusual position of running the church's sound board even though the core leadership and many others know I have deconverted to atheist. In fact I get compliments on being the best. I only go and run it when asked by the production director whom I mentored and encouraged as he grew when I was a believer. He knows I am an atheist also. I encouraged him to move to this church several years ago so feel i owe him as much when the theist sound guy is away. And my wife is still a believer and attends. I admit a few times being tempted to shut the mic off. Recently during a rant on sin.

 

Thankfully I had my iPad so I could check out this site while running sound for a 300 person service. Lol

 

I have wondered what the reaction would be if something went wrong while I was running it. Guess someone might say the devil made me do it. Lol. Should I play any Dawkins backwards under the worship music?

 

 

I think the older members of the congregation would like to listen to this:

 

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The pastor's wife, who is the leader, thanked us. "Not that you really had a choice," she adds breezily.

 

My parents and their friends used to treat my forced church attendance as a joke, much like this. They knew I hated it and somehow found it amusing. It used to make me seethe with rage.

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