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Gift Acceptance Situation


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A family friend took an interest in my music career/education goals lately. I sent him one of my songs as a thank you for something else and and surprisigly, he inquired about my music goals with the intimation that he'll like to help out. upon reading them, he was impressed and pledged me a substantial amount for my music education, along with some words of encouragement. Since, he is Christian, naturally, he gave thanks to God for my life and wished me well with God and Jesus, and that I should"Keep praying to God for his knowledge and wisdom." This is one of the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me and i'm truly grateful as his gift will definitely cut away a nice chunk of the cost of my full-time education. He is innocent in assuming i am a believer as i haven't outed myself on facebook, having opted to deactivate my account years ago due to depression and my deconversion and coming out to people as I see fit. When I call to thank him, he'll probably reference God again(it's a cultural thing) and I can't help but just play along and say amen.Should I worry about clarifying to him? Considering that i intend to reactivate my facebook before the new year and to at least mention my secular humanism, even if generally steering clear of religion talks, am I making an error by not correcting him when I thank him if he keeps assuming that I am believer. It always feel like telling the kid that Santa don't exist or a personal attack. i've had enough practice and thought it'd be easier by now, asserting my identity.lol...sigh.

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If you told him about your non-belief do you think he would rescind the offer?

 

I really don't think so. I can tell he's somewhat liberal with regards to women, for example.lol. theism/superstitiousness is just so a part of my cultural background...I am of Nigerian descent. This is what makes my being exchristian the most pita. 'God' is habitually in conversations when dealing with my people. it gets hard to tell how seriously into God the person is.

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Honesty always serves one best, unless one happens to be a politician or preacher.

 

Yeah, I think I have to mention it or hint at it for peace of mind. I guess I'm just gathering up courage.lol

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Maybe you could try an approach like, "You know, I'm an unbeliever. But I'm seeking the truth in every way I can and your amazing gift makes a huge difference in my life. I promise to use it for the highest good." Truthful. Yet non-committal.

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Maybe you could try an approach like, "You know, I'm an unbeliever. But I'm seeking the truth in every way I can and your amazing gift makes a huge difference in my life. I promise to use it for the highest good." Truthful. Yet non-committal.

 

Thank you. I'll be trying to go for something like that. hopefully, courage does not fail me and hopefully it comes out right and flows with tact. I also kind of feel bad that I can't express my gratitude to him with the type of expression that is the social norm equivalence for conveying the highest form of gratitude. What I mean is that since he is christian (or just nigerian, period...as i said it's as much a cultural thing too) it might be noticeable to him that, in a situation like this where the norm is that the giver be showered with prayers of gratitude by the receiver, there can't be any religious sort of communication on my end. lol.

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Honesty always serves one best, unless one happens to be a politician or preacher.

 

Or married. Or a human being. Jesus, Florduh, I am surprised at you for that one.

I was lying.

 

But I never lie about who I am. I'm an asshole.

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But I never lie about who I am. I'm an asshole.

Whenever someone says that, it completely defuses anything anyone else could say about him/her. LOL

I know because I say it all of the time especially to my wife...

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A family friend took an interest in my music career/education goals lately. I sent him one of my songs as a thank you for something else and and surprisigly, he inquired about my music goals with the intimation that he'll like to help out. upon reading them, he was impressed and pledged me a substantial amount for my music education, along with some words of encouragement. Since, he is Christian, naturally, he gave thanks to God for my life and wished me well with God and Jesus, and that I should"Keep praying to God for his knowledge and wisdom." This is one of the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me and i'm truly grateful as his gift will definitely cut away a nice chunk of the cost of my full-time education. He is innocent in assuming i am a believer as i haven't outed myself on facebook, having opted to deactivate my account years ago due to depression and my deconversion and coming out to people as I see fit. When I call to thank him, he'll probably reference God again(it's a cultural thing) and I can't help but just play along and say amen.Should I worry about clarifying to him? Considering that i intend to reactivate my facebook before the new year and to at least mention my secular humanism, even if generally steering clear of religion talks, am I making an error by not correcting him when I thank him if he keeps assuming that I am believer. It always feel like telling the kid that Santa don't exist or a personal attack. i've had enough practice and thought it'd be easier by now, asserting my identity.lol...sigh.

I'm tempted to say take the money and run. Once your education is over you can confess to him. But I won't say it. LOL
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