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Got "the Call" Today


Kateastrophy
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My former priest called today. Luckily I missed the call and it went to voicemail. He wanted to know where my husband and I have been; we haven't attended since June. He said he hopes we come back, but luckily he didn't ask me to call him back.

 

His last newsletter called for all those who have left the church to come back, since the population has been dwindling. I wonder if he's considered that 1) his political preaching is turning people away and 2) some of us just can't swallow the BS we've been spoon-fed anymore.

 

I hope he doesn't call back. He's not a kindly priest like I'm used to. He is very argumentative and bristly, and not at all afraid to insult people. Since I still need positive job references out of his wife, I'd rather not get into it with him.

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That only ever happened once to me. It was a tough one because I did have to answer the phone as it was the days before caller id. Even worse it was my brother in law's stepdad who he is very close to. I left because I could no longer stomach a 'Christian' constantly talking about, no, bragging about harrassing punk kids with his sawed off shotgun. That and he was so fake when he babbled in tongues.

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Ugh, I've been in that situation. Even worse is that members of my pastor's family work in the same place that I do, so I have to constantly stress over the possibility of running into them, and the uncomfortable conversation that would inevitability follow.

 

Here's hoping that your priest doesn't call back, Kateastrophy. :)

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Screen your calls! Don't put yourself in a position where you're backed into a corner and feel you have to explain yourself to him. You don't owe him anything, even an explanation. Your decision is final (unless you change your mind, repeat: unless YOU change your mind) and he has no right to demand that you explain yourself to him.

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I've always heard that you can give some one enough information that they leave you alone but be vague enough that you dont tell them all your business. Avoiding just makes them wonder. If it were me I'd tell him

 

"Dear pastor, thanks for your concern. However, I will no longer be attending services regularly at "X CHRUCH"......

 

this is not a lie and he wont expect you back, its short, and you didnt put your business in the street. It only needs an ending sentence.

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I've always heard that you can give some one enough information that they leave you alone but be vague enough that you dont tell them all your business. Avoiding just makes them wonder. If it were me I'd tell him

 

"Dear pastor, thanks for your concern. However, I will no longer be attending services regularly at "X CHRUCH"......

 

this is not a lie and he wont expect you back, its short, and you didnt put your business in the street. It only needs an ending sentence.

 

Right. It's nobody's business what your beliefs are. You have the right to deny any questions regarding your beliefs.

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I got that call a while ago. My answer was:

 

"Hmmm . . . . . yeah . . . . well . . . ah . . . err . . . . hmmm . . . ."

 

After a while the pastor responsed with "I guess you don't want to talk about it."

 

Then we exchanged pleasant goodbyes. It was all friendly.

 

 

The reason I choose to not volunteer information was that my wife doesn't know what to make of my deconversion and I didn't want to complicate things.

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