darwinfish Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 I've been debating whether or not to attend Christmas church services this year. How do the rest of you handle it? I assume that most of you have religious families and it probably comes up. The last two years I was able to sneak out because my daughter got fussy in church (both years), so I just hung out in the daycare with her. I figure if I don't attend, my wife will be resentful of me. If I do, I feel like I'm celebrating a fairy tale, and it feels so farcical to me. I'm still a little baffled/ashamed it took me so long to come out of it. Christmas always seems like a big deal to my wife. I purposely didn't "come out" to my wife until after Christmas last year. Even though I waited she still tried to claim, "It wasn't the right time". Really?! When would have been the right time? Sorry, small digression. Do most of you that have a spouse that's religious give in on the holidays? Am I really that much of a jerk if I don't go? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeasabird Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Aren't you out? Why would you go, is your wife pressuring you to go to church? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CDFree Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 That's the one time of year I kind of miss it all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highrishman Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 http://www.mwillett.org/atheism/atheistchristmas.htm I've actually been thinking about the same thing a lot. So I Googled it and this article came up. Very informative and it helps my perspective on being an atheist at Christmas a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darwinfish Posted September 19, 2012 Author Share Posted September 19, 2012 Aren't you out? Why would you go, is your wife pressuring you to go to church? She hasn't brought it up yet. But, she always makes such a big deal out of Christmas, I know the argument's going to happen. That's the one time of year I kind of miss it all I do like spending time with everyone, I just think the Christmas Eve service ritual is a little annoying. http://www.mwillett....stchristmas.htm I've actually been thinking about the same thing a lot. So I Googled it and this article came up. Very informative and it helps my perspective on being an atheist at Christmas a lot. That was an interesting read. I agree with him, I think you can celebrate the sentiment without accepting all the dogma that goes along with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kateastrophy Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 I always have gone because I was a performer in our church's Midnight Christ Mass, but not this year. This year I am joining my neighbors for their annual 11PM pajama-clad reading of "Twas the Night Before Christmas." I freaking love my gayborhood. It's my new family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silentknight Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 I'm a bit worried about Christmas this year too. I have no problem with going to the in-laws house, having dinner, opening presents, etc. That's all fine. But I don't see myself being able to go to service. I know I will be pressured to, but I feel completely uncomfortable attending after leaving the church. I'm sure it will cause some turmoil (they even drag my Jewish father-in-law to christmas service, but being Jewish is less of a problem at church than being a non-believer in anything) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rek99 Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 If it were me and I thought it was going to cause an argument, I would just go. I'm also a very non-confrontational person though, sometimes to my own detriment. I still go to church with my wife and I likely will continue to, even though I will never believe again. I just play on my iPhone and laugh if the pastor makes a nerdy joke.... but I also go to a really laid back church that encourages people to use an interactive app on their phones to "participate" in polls during the sermon. The Jebus stuff is annoying, but I love my wife enough to go Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 If I do, I feel like I'm celebrating a fairy tale, and it feels so farcical to me. There is nothing wrong with attending Church twice a year. Lots of people do that on Christmas and Easter. You don't need to believe any of the woo to show up. Just try to not disturb anybody with laughter. If you get the giggles excuse yourself and laugh in the parking lot. I'm still a little baffled/ashamed it took me so long to come out of it. Christmas always seems like a big deal to my wife. I purposely didn't "come out" to my wife until after Christmas last year. Even though I waited she still tried to claim, "It wasn't the right time". Really?! When would have been the right time? Sorry, small digression. Do most of you that have a spouse that's religious give in on the holidays? Am I really that much of a jerk if I don't go? My wife is still Christian and we attend Church once about every other month. Being a jerk is more about how you two work things out so I can't answer that question. However many people have stopped attending altogether so it's not unheard of. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatsPajamas Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 I will be working this Christmas Eve and won't attend services, and I'm actually sad about it. For me, even as a believer, Christmas was more about the vibe that the day has. There has always been a special "feel" to the day that is not dependent on a belief in the Christian Christmas story. If you go, just to not ruffle feathers, maybe you could just use the time to reflect on what the holiday means to you now. Even though I don't believe in all of it anymore, the day is still important to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darwinfish Posted September 20, 2012 Author Share Posted September 20, 2012 Now, that I've had some time to work this over in my mind. I think I will go. I still feel that the whole ritual is a farce, but it's going to mean a lot for my wife for me to go. And, they usually hold the service at 6pm and I'm sure that my daughter will start to get fussy again since it's that close to her bedtime. I'd feel kind of bad having my wife try to attend the service that means so much to her, and have to watch both my son and daughter. And, my two year old daughter is a handful around her bedtime. I just think I'd enjoy Christmas more if I didn't feel like I'm expect to do so much for everyone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3DollarBill Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 How do I deal with it? Usually by booking a flight that will get me there just a wee bit too late to make the service. Mostly it sucks but there are certain advantages to living across the country from family. If you can't stand it then drum up some excuse...work is a good one, some other prior obligation. With the complexity of modern life you should be able to come up with something. After a few years they may notice a pattern but by then you may have reached a point where you are comfortable simply saying you don't wish to attend. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silentknight Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 I think I'm just going to say "No, thanks." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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