Mindfulness Meditation: Thought Difficulties

[Falloutdude]

I have been having trouble reading my own thoughts. I'm not sure how to describe it really...I only know that I have a lot of difficulty trying to articulate my thoughts in my mind.

 

Crude as it might be, it's like when you watch tv show or movie and the person's personal dialogue is going on in their head? I used to have that, but now, I'm guessing because of the heavy use of weed in the last few months to a year, I do not have that clear dialogue in my head. Basically, when I try to think about my thoughts and what I'm telling myself it's very difficult to pick out even phrases or ideas, much less a complete thought. It definitely is not as easy as before I ever smoked.

 

The reason this is relevant is that when I'm trying to do mindfulness meditation I feel like I am missing out on the part where you are supposed to acknowledge your thoughts, but not ignore or try too hard to remain focused on your breathing. I try to focus on my thoughts, but often this takes effort, and I'm not sure if I'm even doing the meditation correctly anymore, since my mental energy either is distracted by vague concerns about my thoughts not being "readable", or trying to discern my thoughts in order to do what seems to be part of the meditation. I can focus on my breathing, and was better at it when I first started as opposed to now, probably because I didn't know about the thought aspect and couldn't focus on that.

 

I was wondering if anyone else has any sort of advice or could inform me if I should even try to observe my thoughts, and if this is vital to the mindfulness meditation practice. Obviously this is important, as I am trying to practice mindfulness meditation, but it is frustrating and often disheartening because I don't feel like I am getting the full extent of the experience.

 

I can "see my thoughts" more clearly after a little while/think of what I was thinking, but metacognition in the moment seems to be difficult for me. So I was wondering if the ability to observe thoughts was crucial in order to practice effective mindfulness meditation or if I could still get some benefit by trying to focus exclusively on breathing. Should I contribute the effort in trying to observe/"see" my own thoughts, or is this effort in itself defeating any meditation practice/the concerted effort not allowing me to fully be affected by the meditation? Are the thoughts the an important part of the process, or is focusing on the breathing and "sinking" into yourself/concentrating on focusing the most important? I just feel like I need some insight from someone who has some idea, because without it I am concerned that I am just "paddling in a circle": that I am ruining my meditation by trying to observe my thoughts since it takes that effort, or worrying that I do need to have some ability to see my thoughts and putting in the effort would be part of the process/help my meditation.

[Deva]

I don't think that the thoughts are important. Just focus on something, breath or an object - really anything. Let the thoughts go by, whatever they are is not important. The ultimate object of this is to create a stability and focus of the mind. I don't know what you mean by " I don't feel like I am getting the full extent of the experience". Just do it with no expectations of a result. Just try it for a short period of time - 10 minutes or so.

 

Any results will probably be seen later in daily life with more ability to concentrate, more ability to shift from one thought pattern to another. I am not an expert but have had some instruction in meditation.

[Margee]

Hi Dude! I have been a huge fan of Dr. Joe Dispenza for a long time. He teaches how to 're-invent' yourself. I am going to direct you to some of his 'stuff'. I have read both of his books and there is no one else, who has ever shown me as much as Dr. Joe...how to re-wire my brain. My hope is that he might be able to guide you even further to healing yourself. He always helps me. As soon as I slip back into my old negative ways, I spend time listening to all his youtubes,his website and his hundreds of articles. Good luck my friend. You will find his meditation technics very sinple.

 

One of his hundreds of articles on reinventing yourself: http://www.eomega.or...enting-yourself

 

His website: http://www.drjoedispenza.com/

 

One of his many teaching youtubes: 4 parts...very interesting.....

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzaHWSx1vWU&feature=relmfu

 

 

And another:

 

[Antlerman]

The point is to become calm and aware, just simply observing everything without judgment. That means not actively engaging in "thinking about" anything. That may, or may not include thoughts of your own arising. You just open your eyes and look, your thoughts simply paying attention to the your breathing. Do not have expectations. Can't say that strongly enough. As Sally Kempton so wonderfully put it, you should have intention, but not expectation. The intention is to simply become observant. To calm the mind and become aware.

 

In that Silence, the world reveals itself to you. You do not go actively trying to 'figure it out'. When you have expectations, you are looking to your needs, wants, and desires, not being aware of what is actually there. Your mind needs to be quite in order to see and hear. It takes practice, but in all things do not ever become frustrated. Be understanding and compassionate towards yourself. Smile knowingly at yourself as your mind naturally goes wandering off, and then gently, gently, tenderly, lovingly invite your thoughts back to your breath. Be your mind's loving friend. Love yourself, and let it expose you to Love. It comes to you when you let it. Simply let it Be. Observe and see and know it and know yourself. It is Peace.

[Rev R]

I have been having trouble reading my own thoughts. I'm not sure how to describe it really...I only know that I have a lot of difficulty trying to articulate my thoughts in my mind.

 

Crude as it might be, it's like when you watch tv show or movie and the person's personal dialogue is going on in their head? I used to have that, but now, I'm guessing because of the heavy use of weed in the last few months to a year, I do not have that clear dialogue in my head. Basically, when I try to think about my thoughts and what I'm telling myself it's very difficult to pick out even phrases or ideas, much less a complete thought. It definitely is not as easy as before I ever smoked.

 

The reason this is relevant is that when I'm trying to do mindfulness meditation I feel like I am missing out on the part where you are supposed to acknowledge your thoughts, but not ignore or try too hard to remain focused on your breathing. I try to focus on my thoughts, but often this takes effort, and I'm not sure if I'm even doing the meditation correctly anymore, since my mental energy either is distracted by vague concerns about my thoughts not being "readable", or trying to discern my thoughts in order to do what seems to be part of the meditation. I can focus on my breathing, and was better at it when I first started as opposed to now, probably because I didn't know about the thought aspect and couldn't focus on that.

 

I was wondering if anyone else has any sort of advice or could inform me if I should even try to observe my thoughts, and if this is vital to the mindfulness meditation practice. Obviously this is important, as I am trying to practice mindfulness meditation, but it is frustrating and often disheartening because I don't feel like I am getting the full extent of the experience.

 

I can "see my thoughts" more clearly after a little while/think of what I was thinking, but metacognition in the moment seems to be difficult for me. So I was wondering if the ability to observe thoughts was crucial in order to practice effective mindfulness meditation or if I could still get some benefit by trying to focus exclusively on breathing. Should I contribute the effort in trying to observe/"see" my own thoughts, or is this effort in itself defeating any meditation practice/the concerted effort not allowing me to fully be affected by the meditation? Are the thoughts the an important part of the process, or is focusing on the breathing and "sinking" into yourself/concentrating on focusing the most important? I just feel like I need some insight from someone who has some idea, because without it I am concerned that I am just "paddling in a circle": that I am ruining my meditation by trying to observe my thoughts since it takes that effort, or worrying that I do need to have some ability to see my thoughts and putting in the effort would be part of the process/help my meditation.

 

A couple things I see.

 

First, there is the heavy drug use. You appear to see and acknowledge the effect of the pot on your mind, and this is a good thing. I do recommend at least cutting back on your use. The two actions are counter productive (and I do hope you are not attempting to meditate while you are high), particularly if the use is clouding your thoughts. Since you are likely not a "Buddhist", I won't bore you with a discourse on the Fifth Precept.

 

Second, and perhaps most important, is what you are describing as your practice. To phrase it gently, it requires a great deal of adjustment. The point is not to engage in meta analysis of the stream of consciousness, but rather to be a passive observer of mind. This cannot be done unless the mind is allowed to settle first. Focus on this aspect of meditation for a while. It will take a while but we are not working on a time limit.

 

I suggest beginning each sitting by listening to the shakuhachi piece "Hon Shirabe". It is a rather haunting tune that emphasizes silence as much as sound. Listen fully, do not turn it on and do other things. Let the sound envelop you, breathe naturally and allow your mind to relax and settle. Continue your session to the end in silence. Give yourself at least 15 minutes of total sitting time.

[Antlerman]

Thank you, thank you for your wise words of advice here Rev.

 

Yes, observing your thoughts just happens naturally at a latter stage. The focus must be on clearing the mind of distractions of thought. Agree, good music like this is enormously helpful, and I use music like it regularly, but it is not to be used just to just create a mood in the room. You actually enter within it through that quieted mind. Very helpful advice.

[Antlerman]

Another type of music you may try to begin your meditation is to listen to Tibetan Singing bowls. I use them every time in meditation myself, and have several I use (I have around 12 to pick from). For you, maybe try just listening to these Shakti from Bodhisattva.com performs on youtube. Just quite your mind into these sounds. Try also the flute Rev R suggests as well. Equally as conducive to meditation.

 

[Falloutdude]

@ Deva

I just meant that I wasn't getting the full experience as in emotional, mental effect. I will try not to expect as much, it's just that once you experience something, it's difficult not to expect it when doing an activity again.

 

@ Rev R

I already stopped smoking about 3 months ago though. Pots after effects are mostly what I'm dealing with, hard time with memory (mostly short term). It's in this state I am having trouble discerning my thoughts.

 

@ AM

I've actually listened to Tibetan singing bowls when you talked about them earlier, Antlerman. Surprised to find they didn't actually deal with singing...ha ha But I had never considered using music. The only place in my house I can do it is in a room which isn't even mine (My home is small, this room is relatively removed from normal noise)

 

I think I understand a little better now, thank you Rev R and AM. It's more about quieting the mind. I was confused because when I read of another lady online talking about how to do meditation, she placed particular emphasis on meditation not being about stopping thoughts. I guess that still kind of fits with quieting your mind, but it gave me the impression (along with her other instructions) that one must have some amount of thought during the process about one's own thoughts. Another thing that threw me is another lady talked about acknowledging where your thoughts went, not thinking about them I guess, but making a mental note of where it went. That got me going because I have a hard time discerning my thoughts lately.