Long, Boring Church Services

[Adam5]

Any of you guys, back in the day, had to sit through really really long and boring church services?

 

The church I attended services would be aorund 1 1/2 hours, although I once attended one at a fundie church which went on well over 2 hours, and I almost died of boredom

 

 

Am I right in thinking catholic mass is just one hour. That sounds more sensible to me.

[Deva]

I think you are right. Catholics and Anglicans consider the service to be centered around the Eucharist and you generally will only get a short sermon. Yes, its much better.

[Rando]

I remember some pentecostal/charismatic preachers who considered it a point of pride to be long-winded with a 2 or 3 hour service. I guess the virtue is helping people suffer for Christ? One old joke-

A young boy and his dad were at an especially long service one Sunday morning. The boy whispered, "Dad, what does it mean when the preacher says, 'in conclusion?" His father replied, "Nothing, son, absolutely nothing!"

[wndwalkr99]

Any of you guys, back in the day, had to sit through really really long and boring church services?

 

The church I attended services would be aorund 1 1/2 hours, although I once attended one at a fundie church which went on well over 2 hours, and I almost died of boredom

 

 

Am I right in thinking catholic mass is just one hour. That sounds more sensible to me.

 

Shorter, yes. Sensible? No. They manage to pack plenty of nonsense into that hour.

[Thought2Much]

Pastors often try to justify long services by telling people that "In Africa (or some other place on the other side of the world), they have service for the whole day, because they really love the Lord! Are you saying you don't love the Lord enough to give him his day?"

 

They'll also point to some nebulous point in history when people would spend all of Sunday in church. Or, they'll whine about how people will watch a two hour movie or football game without complaining. Or, they'll talk about how in Soviet Russia the people there would love to be able to attend church for two hours because Christians were persecuted there.

 

All I could think was that God was a horribly inefficient communicator if he couldn't deliver a message through a pastor in a sermon in less than half an hour.

[roadrunner]

When I was young every sunday I listened to the pastor yell for hours in a hot small uncomfortable church with a wooden floor and creaky pews. I remember getting out of church between 1 and 1:30. and it started at 11 and that was every sunday not just homecoming.

 

Part of the problem was that at 11oclock people within the congregation would still fire off a song that was "on their heart". You didn't have to be in the choir or anything. You just had to sing loud and bold and then the rest of the cong would join in. this would continue until the pastor walked up to the podium.

[Vigile]

When Stalin would give a speech, the first to stop clapping had his loyalty and enthusiasm called into suspicion, so the clapping could go on for hours. I think there's a parallel here with some churches. God, the despot, demands you spend hours kissing his ass and listening to his task master or you're just not a good xian.

[mwc]

Any length service is too damn long. Period.

 

mwc

[expat674]

At one church I went to, the service was all done and dusted in under an hour and fifteen minutes. At the last church I attended, which was a fully fledged fundamentalist church, the service would last between 2 and 3 hours, depending how much rolling around on the floor took place.

 

What makes me laugh is that the Bible says that Sunday are a day of rest, yet the suits in charge of most churches demand that you roll up at 10am.

[mymistake]

I've been to a lot of churches and in my opinion the best church service is "no service". I haven't been to church since Father's Day. I'm loving it.

[Rando]

Pastors often try to justify long services by telling people that "In Africa (or some other place on the other side of the world), they have service for the whole day, because they really love the Lord! Are you saying you don't love the Lord enough to give him his day?"

 

Wow, Thought2Much, we must have went to some of the same churches! Nothing like a little extra guilt to keep 'em in the pews.

[Thought2Much]

Pastors often try to justify long services by telling people that "In Africa (or some other place on the other side of the world), they have service for the whole day, because they really love the Lord! Are you saying you don't love the Lord enough to give him his day?"

 

Wow, Thought2Much, we must have went to some of the same churches! Nothing like a little extra guilt to keep 'em in the pews.

 

I've been in Assemblies of God churches, mostly, but I could see things like this being said in almost any fundamentalist church.

[roadrunner]

Pastors often try to justify long services by telling people that "In Africa (or some other place on the other side of the world), they have service for the whole day, because they really love the Lord! Are you saying you don't love the Lord enough to give him his day?"

 

Wow, Thought2Much, we must have went to some of the same churches! Nothing like a little extra guilt to keep 'em in the pews.

 

I've been in Assemblies of God churches, mostly, but I could see things like this being said in almost any fundamentalist church.

 

And they walked miles to get there barefoot and when they got there they sat on the floor crammed in a hot room. (kinda like hell in hindsight).

[qadeshet]

I got to where I could sleep throught the entire Church service while keeping my eyes open. I seldom got caught.

[Paine]

What ever happened to a "DAY OF REST"?

 

What the fuck is restful about getting up EARLIER than a work day to pull on pantyhose and WASTE A DAY DOING ANYTHING BUT RESTING!!???

 

What hypocritical, unproductive time thievery. Why do they not see it?

[ConureDelSol]

Some of the African American churches in the area will have 4 hour services and break half-way through for lunch.

 

Our church only shortened their services within the last year. Since ours are on Saturday nights, people falling asleep in the audience and very, very cranky children up past their bed time started giving them the hint that the service was too long. I went from going home around 10pm to about 8pm.

[Lilith666]

Yep. I went to a Catholic service once, and it was shorter than Protestant ones, but worse. I think there was a kid singing in Latin (what's the point?) and I was so bored I was late standing up for the hymns or kneeling for whatever. I hate those benches they make you kneel on. The "cushion" is despicable; it might as well be wood and you put your knees on that for a five-minute prayer. I used to think Catholics have more fun than other Xians.

 

The preacher likes to go five, ten minutes over the 11:25 mark with the sermon, which means we pretty much always get out late.

[mymistake]

Yep. I went to a Catholic service once, and it was shorter than Protestant ones, but worse. I think there was a kid singing in Latin (what's the point?) and I was so bored I was late standing up for the hymns or kneeling for whatever. I hate those benches they make you kneel on. The "cushion" is despicable; it might as well be wood and you put your knees on that for a five-minute prayer. I used to think Catholics have more fun than other Xians.

 

The preacher likes to go five, ten minutes over the 11:25 mark with the sermon, which means we pretty much always get out late.

 

IMO the Latin singing is the best part of Catholic mass. The Latin and architecture are the only redeeming qualities. The point (the only point) is that it's pretty. But with all that said I would rather stay home or spend time with my family or go to the dentist and get my teeth drilled or anything else than go to a church service. I can get Latin singing on youtube.

[Adam5]

IMO the Latin singing is the best part of Catholic mass. The Latin and architecture are the only redeeming qualities. The point (the only point) is that it's pretty.

 

I'm in agreement with that. There is a certain beauty to it from a secular perspective. Maybe its designed that way to draw the sheep in I went through a fundie phase in the past where I hated Catholicism. Now I try to see all religions, sects and denominations as suffering from the same delusions, and not discrimate cause someone is born in the wrong group. I am trying to let go of thinking of things in a protestant them and us christian perspective and trying to view things in a rationalist, skeptic and independent perspective.

[TwistedHiss]

I used to sit through 'services' looking at the bulletin and counting down how many inane things were left to get through until it was over:

 

(To self): "Crap. We're only at the 2nd hymn. 12 more things until this is done. Oh, sorry, Lord."

 

I could never pay attention to the 'sermon' as I found the minister droning on just...eye-glazingly boring.

 

Then I'd feel terribly guilty and evil that I found the whole thing so boring and couldn't wait to get the hell out of there. Leaving the church at the end of 'services' always felt for me like being released from jail or something. "Wahoo! Sweet freedom! Oh shit, sorry, Lord!"

 

In the 'services' I attended most everything was repeated week after week, with mostly only the hymns and sermon containing different words. I now see it for what it actually was; brainwashing through repetition. It's funny, because in the bible it actually says not to engage in vain repetitions (or something like that). Talk about conflicting bullshit. Such is the weird, weird world of religion.

[LoneTarus]

I used to sit through 'services' looking at the bulletin and counting down how many inane things were left to get through until it was over:

 

(To self): "Crap. We're only at the 2nd hymn. 12 more things until this is done. Oh, sorry, Lord."

 

I could never pay attention to the 'sermon' as I found the minister droning on just...eye-glazingly boring.

 

Then I'd feel terribly guilty and evil that I found the whole thing so boring and couldn't wait to get the hell out of there. Leaving the church at the end of 'services' always felt for me like being released from jail or something. "Wahoo! Sweet freedom! Oh shit, sorry, Lord!"

 

In the 'services' I attended most everything was repeated week after week, with mostly only the hymns and sermon containing different words. I now see it for what it actually was; brainwashing through repetition. It's funny, because in the bible it actually says not to engage in vain repetitions (or something like that). Talk about conflicting bullshit. Such is the weird, weird world of religion.

 

This is the same conclusion I came to at the end of my de-conversion. The church services and the bible studies are mainly there to re-enforce the brainwashing. Once I had been out of church and bible study for several months a lot of things really started to unravel for me.

 

Main stream and not so main stream christian churches are no less of a cult than any of the non-christian groups that they like to point fingers at and call cults.

[TwistedHiss]

The church services and the bible studies are mainly there to re-enforce the brainwashing. Once I had been out of church and bible study for several months a lot of things really started to unravel for me.

 

Main stream and not so main stream christian churches are no less of a cult than any of the non-christian groups that they like to point fingers at and call cults.

 

You're correct about them being no less of a cult. And even the mainstream churches served the purpose for me, having been raised in it, of leaving a lingering residue of guilt and fear even though I never liked "church". I ended up rejecting 'traditional church' but then (embarrassingly) going off on my own mostly self-indoctrination spree for about a decade after years of avoiding church. Basically remnants of the mainstream virus took hold and rerooted and morphed into some other version in my head in my case. I still had this guilt and fear about not going, and instead of calling sham on the whole shebang, I sought to explain and convince myself that parts were still true and that organized religion was the sham. But really, the bible as the "word of god" and Yahweh himself are shams.

 

A god made in the image of the people of the time as a reason to excuse their atrocious behavior and impose it on everyone else.

 

Things didn't start unravelling for me until I realized and actually thought about the things I was forbiddenly programmed to think about, that finally got through in spite of the fear. Such as, being "evil" just because of simply being born is senseless; like I had any control over that. And even if I *had* somehow control over being born, I couldn't remember it - and it would be like rubbing a dog's nose in it's shit a week after the fact - the dog had no clue why he's being 'punished' and it thus renders the punishment useless and pointless; unless of course, the object is simply to have Rover cowering in fear over an absolute master at all times.

[par4dcourse]

As a kid I imagined that the church had the only bathroom and only god could give permission and that's why all those people were prayin' and wailin' and hollering, especially during the long sessions.