A Time For All Things

[stryper]

 

3:1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: 3:2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; 3:3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 3:4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 3:5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 3:6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; 3:7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 3:8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

 

 

http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/ec/3.html

 

 

There have been some changes happening recently. My wife has decided to quit her job. Since poor communication is generally a fact of life between people who have been around each other for long periods of time; she meant NOW! I thought she meant "I have made a reasonable decision to look for other employment"

 

There is a not so subtle difference there.

 

I was reminded of this verse in the Bible and was reminded that for all the killing, rape, war, torture, etc. There is some good stuff in there. There is good stuff in the Dresden Files too. Doesn't make it anything other then fiction.

 

Where I live is very strongly Catholic. We have the Our Lady of the Snows shire here. I know nothing about it. However, every Christmas they put up the Way of the Lights. Basically what you would expect. The Christmas story INLIGHTS!

 

My wife, having grown up here, always went to see the Way of the Lights every year. It's tradition. Besides, they have a petting zoo, and I have two kids under 5.

 

So we went. It was pretty. When we got to the end they have a grotto. Usually there is a statue of the Virgin Mary or something. This time of year they have manger scene.

 

Stage left; they have the typical Catholic votive prayer candles display thing. I was wrangling my 18month old daughter. My son was running around commenting on the lights. I was getting mildly irritated. It was getting cold and dark.

 

My wife walked over to the candles. She paid $3 and went to light a candle. She had a lighter in her pocket. But the candle was deep. So I pulled one of the sticks meant for that purpose, lite it off a burning candle and handed it to her. She lite the candle said a brief prayer. I moved away to find my son because he hadn't made any noise in 30 seconds.

 

She walked over and being a good theater student and retail manager had a smile plastered to her face. I wasn't fooled. I reached out and hugged her. She immediately started to cry. Something she hates to do. So of course so did I.

 

I called our son over to give mommy a hug.

 

"Why are you crying, mommy?"

 

"She misses papa," I stated.

 

In addition to the stress that retail workers deal with this time of year. Her father died two years ago of cirrhosis. He died in the late summer of that year. That first Christmas was very rough for her and her mother. Her mother still can't put any of the old ornaments on the tree. I don't think either of them have fully recovered from the loss.

 

A few days later, we were "arguing", as she called it, about her wanting quit her job and the mis-communication was laid bare. She stated almost as after thought, that she knew I don't believe but she needed to do that at the way of the lights. At the time I didn't say anything about that specifically.

 

I told her later that it didn't bother me. It was what she needed at that time.

 

Traditions matter to many. For my wife, lighting the candles, saying a prayer for those loved one, asking for guidance, are all traditions. She doesn't go to mass. She never talks about it. I guess it akin to "being Jewish" but loving to eat bacon. But when the touchstones are needed, they will reach for them.

 

The scene in the grotto was not the time to have a discussion about religion. Enjoying the pretty lights is not the time have a discussion about the myth. There are times when the fights need to be fought. There are also times when the beauty of the traditions needs to be respected because those you love find comfort in them.

 

Remember, there is a time to fight and time to love.

 

[Overcame Faith]

Nice and touching post. For what it's worth, I think you handled it in the right way.

 

Sorry for your wife's loss.

 

PS: I still love that song.

[BDPApostate]

Great reminder to pick your battles well...

Just when i needed to hear it too