gliph Posted December 8, 2005 Share Posted December 8, 2005 Once I found this site, I realized I’ve been looking for it for too long. The sad part is that I just started looking yesterday… its almost silly how I couldn’t find the courage to even type in a search phrase into google and start looking. What would I type? “christianity is a lie”? “falsehood of religion”? “christianity is wrong”? I’ve been struggling to type those words for over a year. I knew that once those words were typed there was no going back, I was taking the next step beyond what was in my head, what I’ve thought for years, and seeing if I was alone or I’d just end up on jesusstilllovesyou.com (sorry if that’s a real site, lmao). Anyway, my story begins like so many of the others… I grew up in a christian household, going to church, bible study, youth group, etc. I was content, I was happy. When I went off to college I began going to one of the local christian groups on campus. I believe it was at the recommendation of my RA in my residence hall… sneaky, huh? I was immediately drawn in… Here was a huge group of my peers, all friendly, and all excited about their faith and their love of god. There were no boring sermons, no pesky tithing, no boring hymns. It was intoxicating. I jumped in with both feet and never looked back… it only took a week or two for me to give my soul to jesus and… *POOF* I was born again. The whole world seemed different, I felt different, and I was excited. I was in love with god and I wanted to know more… I wanted to learn and understand everything I could about him, his son, and everything else. I got into all of the activities I could find that this group sponsored. There were bible studies in big groups, there were small group bible studies, I met with someone on an individual basis to talk about my relationship with god, we went on retreats. It was great. We were all on a mission. Convert. We went to a national conference… How many people have you converted today? Stand up and testify! Pledge a year of your life to the cause, right now! We must convert anyone and everyone. Its our job, its YOUR job as part of the born-again. OK, so this was a bit weird, but I was still new to the group. I didn’t think it could be bad or wrong, I just needed to learn more and maybe I’d be handing out the wwjd bracelets to my converted soon enough… As I continued working through my freshman year of college (a medium sized public school in the US) I was eating up all the knowledge I could find. My liberal arts schooling was in high gear, I was researching and questioning everything and that’s when the first cracks in my new faith formed. As I learned more and more from my new found christian family, I wanted to THINK about what I was learning. There seemed to be so much knowledge around me with a quote from a verse here and a quote from a verse there. I wanted to go deeper, there was so much more to this… I could FEEL it. So I started asking questions and trying to understand things on a level beyond listing fragments of verses from a book. So in response to a question on this verse or that verse, I’d get another verse. Another question would lead to more verses and those to those and then you are back to your original verse. Amazing! See how it all connects? I knew this was wrong. I was pursuing a mathematics degree at the time, and I knew that for a proof you couldn’t just go around and around. It was all circular logic. All of the knowledge I saw around me was only quotes and quips from a book. There was no understanding or research there. It was taken verbatim and treated as such. The biggest turning point for me was during the planning for a spring retreat the group had every year. This retreat was divided between the women and the men. The men went off to learn how to be the spiritual leaders of the christian home while the women went off to learn how to be the good christian wives and support to the men. This shook me at my very core. I didn’t like it, I didn’t like the idea that the man was the leader and was supposed to take charge of the christian-ly ways of HIS household. I grew up in a single family home where my mother was the complete support of the household and was the most spiritual person I knew. Her faith and devotion seemed to be the only thing getting her through some very, very difficult times. I didn’t like that it had to be a MAN leading the house or anything of the sort. I was hoping there was a footnote somewhere or somehow that said, “in case of single parent, the woman can step up and become the leader, that is OK”. When I learned more about it, there was no way this was the case. As far as they were concerned my mother had stepped up into a role, but she definitely needed to find a MAN to put back in there. It was as simple as this: the man of the house runs the show, the woman is his support. I couldn’t deal with it. I wouldn’t. My mother was the strongest person I knew in my life. For someone to come along and say it wasn’t her place and that she was wrong, I knew wasn’t right. Something was very wrong here. I backed off a bit from the group and saw the next stumbling block. These people that cared about me suddenly were cold and distant. They didn’t like the questions I asked or the fact that I didn’t like their answers or how their male dominant hierarchy worked. I didn’t give up, I still went to some of the meetings, but I already felt like an outcast. I wanted to try and find what I had seen there when I first started going… the love, the passion, the intoxication of god. I didn’t see it anymore. I saw the people who were there and were in all the other meetings… and the group that used this weekly time as their church replacement. I was done, I was out. I could see so much hypocrisy in all of it. That was 8 years ago. I’ve chewed on all of this and so much more for so long now. I’m still thinking but I want to talk about this, I want to hear what other people have found and researched. I’ve read some of the testimonials and its inspired me to write this. Its kind of scary how much this feels like a 12 step program… Hello, my name is Gliph and I’m a recovering christian. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evergreen Posted December 8, 2005 Share Posted December 8, 2005 Hi, Gliph! That whole male-over-female bit was something I rejected even when I was still a Christian. I just could not accept it. Nice to see ya. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted December 8, 2005 Share Posted December 8, 2005 and maybe I’d be handing out the wwjd bracelets to my converted soon enough… Is that what they do now? Hit 'em with guilt from the get go. Figures. Glad you found the site Gliph. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted December 8, 2005 Share Posted December 8, 2005 Welcome, glad you found us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandora Posted December 8, 2005 Share Posted December 8, 2005 Was the group Campus Crusade for Christ? I had bad experiences with them as well... they sound very similar to the group you were involved in. Welcome to the site and to the beginning of freedom. Read up on the history of Christianity, the historical Jesus, and philosophy. Studying these will help you find reasons other than emotional to get away from Christianity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted December 8, 2005 Share Posted December 8, 2005 Welcome Gliph! I'm so glad yet another human managed to free themselves from the mindless bondage of religion and the christian borg hive and even find your way here to our little community. Join in and have fun. Learn some, and teach us some, and share your newly found insights. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highvoltage Posted December 8, 2005 Share Posted December 8, 2005 Welcome gliph! I'm glad you found our little apostate corner of the web. We're a pretty varied bunch, but almost all of us have left religion and can share stories and help each other out with our religious woes. So stick around, pull up a chair, and join in on the conversations. Glad to have you with us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gliph Posted December 8, 2005 Author Share Posted December 8, 2005 Was the group Campus Crusade for Christ? I had bad experiences with them as well... they sound very similar to the group you were involved in. Welcome to the site and to the beginning of freedom. Read up on the history of Christianity, the historical Jesus, and philosophy. Studying these will help you find reasons other than emotional to get away from Christianity. pandora! you are 100% right. do you have other information about them? where they started or anything? i should do some research on how they started or what group actually runs them... i think the most interesting part was really getting into the group and learning the tricks of their trade. like i said in my original post, the RA from my floor was a very active member and talked to most of the people in my building to try and get them to come and visit at least once... once you didn't show up, they asked why and really gave you a hard time about it. i think the best trick was a "free pizza" drive they did once a year. all you had to do was fill out a coupon with your name and address, and you could get a free pizza. the catch was you'd have someone knocking on your door and trying to save you... mmm, jesus pizza. Welcome Gliph! I'm so glad yet another human managed to free themselves from the mindless bondage of religion and the christian borg hive and even find your way here to our little community. thanks. i think the human part is really what started me thinking... with everything going on in the world, it seems like more and more religion is stepping in the way of HUMANITY. creating barriers, creating hate, creating an "us against them" mentality. i don't want to start this as a GW flamewar, but it has been absolutely terrifying to me that an election was won on moral grounds... and at the same time the #1 show in the ratings in desparate housewives? ?????? its really is kind of scary to think how much like a borg hive most of this stuff is... and don't worry, i know you shot first. hahahaha! Was the group Campus Crusade for Christ? I had bad experiences with them as well... they sound very similar to the group you were involved in. Welcome to the site and to the beginning of freedom. Read up on the history of Christianity, the historical Jesus, and philosophy. Studying these will help you find reasons other than emotional to get away from Christianity. pandora! you are 100% right. do you have other information about them? where they started or anything? i should do some research on how they started or what group actually runs them... i think the most interesting part was really getting into the group and learning the tricks of their trade. like i said in my original post, the RA from my floor was a very active member and talked to most of the people in my building to try and get them to come and visit at least once... once you didn't show up, they asked why and really gave you a hard time about it. i think the best trick was a "free pizza" drive they did once a year. all you had to do was fill out a coupon with your name and address, and you could get a free pizza. the catch was you'd have someone knocking on your door and trying to save you... mmm, jesus pizza. Welcome Gliph! I'm so glad yet another human managed to free themselves from the mindless bondage of religion and the christian borg hive and even find your way here to our little community. thanks. i think the human part is really what started me thinking... with everything going on in the world, it seems like more and more religion is stepping in the way of HUMANITY. creating barriers, creating hate, creating an "us against them" mentality. i don't want to start this as a GW flamewar, but it has been absolutely terrifying to me that an election was won on moral grounds... and at the same time the #1 show in the ratings is desparate housewives? ?????? sorry to the non-US folks... and i'm going to stop right there before i really start going... btw, where is a good place for me to put my GW rants going forward?? its really is kind of scary to think how much like a borg hive most of this stuff is... and don't worry, i know you shot first. hahahaha! Was the group Campus Crusade for Christ? I had bad experiences with them as well... they sound very similar to the group you were involved in. pandora! you are 100% right. do you have other information about them? where they started or anything? i should do some research on how they started or what group actually runs them... i think the most interesting part was really getting into the group and learning the tricks of their trade. like i said in my original post, the RA from my floor was a very active member and talked to most of the people in my building to try and get them to come and visit at least once... once you didn't show up, they asked why and really gave you a hard time about it. i think the best trick was a "free pizza" drive they did once a year. all you had to do was fill out a coupon with your name and address, and you could get a free pizza. the catch was you'd have someone knocking on your door and trying to save you... mmm, jesus pizza. Welcome Gliph! I'm so glad yet another human managed to free themselves from the mindless bondage of religion and the christian borg hive and even find your way here to our little community. thanks. i think the human part is really what started me thinking... with everything going on in the world, it seems like more and more religion is stepping in the way of HUMANITY. creating barriers, creating hate, creating an "us against them" mentality. i don't want to start this as a GW flamewar, but it has been absolutely terrifying to me that an election was won on moral grounds... and at the same time the #1 show in the ratings is desparate housewives? ?????? sorry to the non-US folks... and i'm going to stop right there before i really start going... btw, where is a good place for me to put my GW rants going forward?? its really is kind of scary to think how much like a borg hive most of this stuff is... and don't worry, i know you shot first. hahahaha! UGH, sorry for the complete mess. i don't think i can edit my posts yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taphophilia Posted December 9, 2005 Share Posted December 9, 2005 Hi Gliph, We don't mind the mess of your post. Just don't let it happen again or the posting police will get you. (Just Kidding. The only people the posting police bother are the occasional Fundies because they are EVIL.) Glad you found your way here! Pull up a chair, the coffee's hot, the people warm, and the conversation lively. Taph Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I Broke Free Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 That whole male-over-Nice to see ya. I could not accept it either, and I'm male. I did not want to dominate someone else. I did not what the responsibility of making unilateral decisions for both of us and the family. The doctrine is not recipe for a happy relationship; it is a recipe for disaster. My parents were only nominal Christians, and they seemed to manage to have a very happy relationship without one dominating the other or one making all the decisions. If my father had acted like I was told a husband should act, my mother would have socked him one good, and deservedly so. I hear from Christian friends, “someone has to be in control and make the ‘final’ decision.” Bullshit! A healthy relationship is defined by coming to mutual decisions, not imposing one. IBF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetSouthernHeretic Posted December 25, 2005 Share Posted December 25, 2005 Hi Gliph, ...and welcome. We had those "groups" in my last church, too. (Ick) Ironically, a few years after ditching the church, I somehow managed to find a husband who wasn't threatened by my organizational skills or my ability to use power tools. Life is good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beverly Posted December 28, 2005 Share Posted December 28, 2005 Hello, my name is Gliph and I’m a recovering christian. _____________ Halleluah, one less spiritual prayer warrior out there.... I have been out here in the world.. suffering the trib.. the enemy of the church routine all that abusive stuff the pentecostals do and, I don't know how I have survived any of it so,... I am glad your out welcome to the world but, I have to warn you christians are beating the world to a bloody pulp somehow they figure this will make Jesus come back Beverly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ ficino ♦ Posted December 28, 2005 Share Posted December 28, 2005 Was the group Campus Crusade for Christ? I had bad experiences with them as well... they sound very similar to the group you were involved in. Welcome to the site and to the beginning of freedom. Read up on the history of Christianity, the historical Jesus, and philosophy. Studying these will help you find reasons other than emotional to get away from Christianity. pandora! you are 100% right. do you have other information about them? where they started or anything? i should do some research on how they started or what group actually runs them... i think the most interesting part was really getting into the group and learning the tricks of their trade. l Dear Gliph, so glad you got out of the cult. Welcome from me, too, to this site. Pandora, amazing how you called it. When I was in college I was in InterVarsity but Campus Crusade was also on campus. They seemed more doctrinaire. Later I was told that Bunker and Nelson Hunt of Dallas, TX were major contributors to Bill Bright and Campus Crusade. I don't know how many of you guys remember the Hunt Brothers. They were the guys who tried to corner the world market in silver around 1980. They pushed the price of silver to around $51 an ounce or so before so much other silver was pulled out of the woodwork that their attempt failed. Gold reached $850 an ounce in tandem with silver. A Christian friend of mine whose politics were on the side of the oppressed, shall we say, told me that the Hunts were behind Campus Crusade. I think what they did may not have been strictly illegal, but it certainly shows a focus of interest that goes directly against the spirit of renunciation that Jesus calls for in the Gospels. St. Francis, after all, gave away his cloak and stood in the town square of Assisi naked. (I've seen the closet where his father locked him up as a crazy teen.) That's a literal interpretation of Jesus' call. The Hunt Brothers are worse than the Rich Young Ruler. And they're the guys funding Campus Crusade and the Bushes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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