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Goodbye Jesus

Fox News: Why The Bible Is The Best Graduation Gift You Can Give


Ramen666

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This is a real article on Fox News's website

 

 

http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2013/05/19/why-bible-is-best-graduation-gift-can-give/

 

 

Chances are, each of us has a relative or family friend who is finishing college this month and moving on to the next phase of life. Even in the best of circumstances, graduation can bring a great deal of uncertainty and anxiety. 

New graduates will face the challenges of finding jobs, managing finances and building healthy relationships and families. As loved ones search for the perfect gift to launch their graduate into the next phase of life, what the class of 2013 may need more than anything is a seemingly difficult gift to give: wisdom.

But how do get this wisdom handed over in real time to those stepping out of their comfort zones and into the real world? How can a gift show our support and optimism for their future ahead, while also equipping graduates to face whatever life may bring?

Perhaps it is as simple as a visit to your neighborhood bookstore, favorite online retailer or even a free downloadable App to give what is arguably the ultimate instruction manual on life: the Bible.

 

 

facepalms.gif

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That's FoxNews for ya. Other news networks have their issues too, but FoxNews is by far the worst. I can't stand that station.

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I wonder how this suggestion works out if the college grad belong to another religion whose members the Bible condemns to eternal hell. Not the most effective way to say "good luck with your future prospects" is it?

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The Bible is the best graduation gift ever... The reason is because you can use it to beat people down any time you want! You can use it to justify nearly every evil thing you want to do and plus, when you wear nice clothes and hold it in your hands, it makes you appear as a saint to most people, even if you are actually a terrible person.

 



 

facepalms.gif

 

That is the most amazing facepalm post I have ever seen!

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Deleted. Accidental double post.

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Fox news isn't all bad at least they have an openly out atheist anchor in John Stossel. But yeahhhh the Christian extremism is pretty out there... don't know how he can stand to still work there.

 

He also did an interesting piece on atheism and I think that blonde girl from fox and friends introduced the piece it was a hilarious moment in that she had a mental conflict that she couldn't resolve revolving around these propositions

 

a. Fox news is infallible and fox news anchors/reporters are always right

 

b. Fox news is anti-atheism pro Christianity/Judaism and the bible is infallible

 

the cogs were turning and it looked painful >.<

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I got a bible as a graduation gift. Some people get a car; I got a goddamn bible. What I find odd is that I kept it for about four years before throwing it away.

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I got a bible as a graduation gift. Some people get a car; I got a goddamn bible. What I find odd is that I kept it for about four years before throwing it away.

Yeah I still have mine and read it from time to time. got to keep my knife blade sharp zDuivel7.gif

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The creepypasta survival guide lists a use for it:

"15. Always have a Bible next to your bed. Provides average reading material, proof of beliefs and a really heavy object to throw at enemies."

source: http://www.creepypasta.com/survival-guide/

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Pretty good idea, with plenty of pages I'd imagine it would be perfect for using as back-up loo roll for when you're too penniless to buy your own!

 

One of my bibles was given to me by someone who was all 'here I don't believe in it, you can get more use out of it'. I'm thinking I'll continue the tradition! I'll be all 'one day I hope you too can reject this thing and palm it off to someone else'.

Maybe not the one I got though, it has sentimental value.

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