Purple Posted December 17, 2005 Share Posted December 17, 2005 Missionary dating sucks, this is as bad or worse, anyone been on the giving or recieving end? Basically, a xian plays friend, invites not so much to church, but to church events, or "hey come to my house for coffee." All the time not truly being your friend, but just wanting you to "come to the lord" if you do GREAT, then they really CAN be your friend, if not, well, dust off your sandal time. When I first left the church I got a lot of this, and not just from xians it seriously pissed me off. The tip off for me then and now, these people never share a real problem with you. Now my friends, my real friends, they have a bad day I get to hear about it, but evangelist do not do this, oh they offer to help you, you poor lost soul, but they keep on their perfect veneer. blah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dianka Posted December 17, 2005 Share Posted December 17, 2005 UGH! I had this b/f in high school. We had good times causing all sorts of trouble, and then he became a non-denom Christian. There was this weird feeling like we were in limbo, so I broke up with him. After months of avoiding him, he shows up at my house and we had a chat about his new faith. He used his "do you think you are a good person" script, and I stupidly lapped it up. After about 2 hours of "Diane, I love you, I can't watch you hurt yourself and God," I argeed to go with him to a See You At The Pole meeting / prayer / service. (I don't know if this rings a bell for anyone). That bastard roped me!!! We ended up getting back together, but I dumped him when I dumped the church. Oh but before I ended it the second time, the loser was asking me all these questions about whether I would sleep with someone before I got married. The whole thing was creepy. After asking like 10 questions about how far I would go, and getting the same I am waiting for marrige response, he would say something like "you are so lucky that you haven't had sex yet, it's really special." I suppose the first portion of my post belongs in this thread while the last portion belongs in Gwen's topic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest isis Posted December 17, 2005 Share Posted December 17, 2005 "The tip off for me then and now, these people never share a real problem with you. Now my friends, my real friends, they have a bad day I get to hear about it, but evangelist do not do this, oh they offer to help you, you poor lost soul, but they keep on their perfect veneer. blah" Oh to true. Do you want to hear of something worse than friendship evangelism or dating evangelism. The worst is bringing in foster kids into your home to evangelism them. No it is not some atheist urban legend but happened to two of my very close friends: J and K. Both girls came from very bad homes. J's dad was a drunk and K's parents beat the shit out of her. They needed to get out of those homes but they landed into the worst kind of situtation..verbal and mental abuse. They both ended up in the home of a very fundie woman. Lets say she was rather old testiment. J was fine but ended up brain washed. K did not ended up so fine. The constant pressure on her to convert got to her a lot. I remember one time on a retreat she showed me fresh wrist cut from the night before. No one took her to a hospital they just tried to convert her. Prayed for her. No one asked her what was wrong but they just tried to take advange of her weak condition. To make it worse when she wanted to leave that foster care situtation she was treated like a ungraditeful person. Like she was in the wrong. She had it so bad that she had a nervous break down and finally got to the hospital. I reminder trying to see if I could see her find out how she was doing. Every person just did not seem to give a shit. They acted like I was upset about it raining outside instead of requesting about the health of a friend. A couple weeks later to ended up in a good family's home but I still am shaken how they could just throw K away like that. After K left I asked about how she was doing and if she was stable. I got the most evil stares as if I asked how was the devil doing. They seemed to almost hate K. Or at least that what I got out of the shark's eyes staring through me and the rigid shoulders.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
godlessgrrl Posted December 17, 2005 Share Posted December 17, 2005 Oh yeah, I've gotten this. The worst of it came when I was splitting up with my first husband. I got invited to dinner with some church friends, plus the associate pastor and his wife. The main dinner topic was my marriage. Nobody was particularly awful, just relentless. It was pretty uncomfortable. I don't remember getting any calls after that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted December 17, 2005 Share Posted December 17, 2005 Yeah, I have been on the receiving end in college. Some girl who was a member of a local Baptist cult befriended me to try and get me to join it. I went to a few of their student meetings and then she dropped the bombshell, "If you want to join, you have to give up your non-Christian friends and stop wearing blue jeans and stop listening to rock music" and all this other nonsense. I was like "Um no, sorry. I'm not that pejudiced. I'm not rejecting my friends just because not all of them are Christian." She tried to argue, but I stood my ground. I don't remember who walked away first, but I do not regret not having that friendship any more. I'm wondering if one of my neighbors isn't doing this, but he seems like more of a New Ager type than a fundy Christian. He seems a bit overly nice to me whenever we run into each other. He's over 50 and married with kids, so I don't think it's that he's interested in me um, sexually. But it's enough to make me suspicious of his motivations. If he ever invites me to go to any "spiritual group" thing, I will just say that I'm not interested. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taphophilia Posted December 18, 2005 Share Posted December 18, 2005 I knew this lady who tried to be my friend. She was really self rightous and it drove me nuts. She used to work as a CNA in a nursing home and I asked her if the old people had sex there. (Hey, I wanted to know.) She acted like I was this terrible person for asking. She'd had one of her kids out of wedlock at 18. At least my heathen self was 23 and married and my kids have the same dad, who the hell was she to say her shit didn't stink. (I really don't care if you're married or not married having children or if they have the same dad, but she pissed me off.) Amethyst, I think New Age people are just super friendly. At least all of them I know are. Taph Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted December 18, 2005 Share Posted December 18, 2005 Amethyst, I think New Age people are just super friendly. At least all of them I know are. Taph That would explain it. But it just seems odd to me. Maybe that's because I am used to being ignored in RL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
specs appeal Posted December 18, 2005 Share Posted December 18, 2005 nasty stories! Dianka - ewww, that sounds creepy. I am afraid that people might do this with me, but I am often nervous around people anyway. (For example, this girl I met in a CHristian group e-mailed me a month ago because she hadn't seen me in a while, which was pretty much because I hadn't been to that group in a couple months. It took me like half an hour to even click on the message, and I haven't written back YET. I think she's quite nice... but on top of the anxiety I already have... I mean... I'm not exactly a good Christian or whatever... ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted December 18, 2005 Share Posted December 18, 2005 You know, I ran into this girl that I went to a fundy kindergarten school with. I hadn't seen her since then. The same one who was technophobic because of the ex. Anyway, I ran into her again just before I left the grocery store (the same one I got rear-ended at). But at least we met inside the store, lol. I am not terribly thrilled about seeing her again. I got the feeling that she was still fundy and might be targeting me for recruitment. Maybe I am being overly suspicious, but my gut feelings tell me that something isn't quite right with her, and I usually have good instincts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purple Posted December 18, 2005 Author Share Posted December 18, 2005 "The tip off for me then and now, these people never share a real problem with you. Now my friends, my real friends, they have a bad day I get to hear about it, but evangelist do not do this, oh they offer to help you, you poor lost soul, but they keep on their perfect veneer. blah" Oh to true. Do you want to hear of something worse than friendship evangelism or dating evangelism. The worst is bringing in foster kids into your home to evangelism them. No it is not some atheist urban legend but happened to two of my very close friends: J and K. Both girls came from very bad homes. J's dad was a drunk and K's parents beat the shit out of her. They needed to get out of those homes but they landed into the worst kind of situtation..verbal and mental abuse. They both ended up in the home of a very fundie woman. Lets say she was rather old testiment. J was fine but ended up brain washed. K did not ended up so fine. The constant pressure on her to convert got to her a lot. I remember one time on a retreat she showed me fresh wrist cut from the night before. No one took her to a hospital they just tried to convert her. Prayed for her. No one asked her what was wrong but they just tried to take advange of her weak condition. To make it worse when she wanted to leave that foster care situtation she was treated like a ungraditeful person. Like she was in the wrong. She had it so bad that she had a nervous break down and finally got to the hospital. I reminder trying to see if I could see her find out how she was doing. Every person just did not seem to give a shit. They acted like I was upset about it raining outside instead of requesting about the health of a friend. A couple weeks later to ended up in a good family's home but I still am shaken how they could just throw K away like that. After K left I asked about how she was doing and if she was stable. I got the most evil stares as if I asked how was the devil doing. They seemed to almost hate K. Or at least that what I got out of the shark's eyes staring through me and the rigid shoulders.. Gads Isis that is just awful. I don't even know what to say. My daughter had friends that were in foster caer for a time, they never got a fundy, they did get a woman who apparetly only made pancakes, that was the only food she ever fed them. Fortunatly they got free lunch at school so they did get some other food, but geez. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dianka Posted December 18, 2005 Share Posted December 18, 2005 I knew this lady who tried to be my friend. She was really self rightous and it drove me nuts. She used to work as a CNA in a nursing home and I asked her if the old people had sex there. (Hey, I wanted to know.) Yeah, the old people get it on. When I was doing my clinicals for CNA we had a guy that was 98 years old. His lady friend was a scandalous 67 years old. Well....I will stop there with that story. Also, people with dementia have a problem with pleasuring themselves outside of their rooms. You never know what to expect when you step into the Alzheimer's unit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest isis Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 "The tip off for me then and now, these people never share a real problem with you. Now my friends, my real friends, they have a bad day I get to hear about it, but evangelist do not do this, oh they offer to help you, you poor lost soul, but they keep on their perfect veneer. blah" Oh to true. Do you want to hear of something worse than friendship evangelism or dating evangelism. The worst is bringing in foster kids into your home to evangelism them. No it is not some atheist urban legend but happened to two of my very close friends: J and K. Both girls came from very bad homes. J's dad was a drunk and K's parents beat the shit out of her. They needed to get out of those homes but they landed into the worst kind of situtation..verbal and mental abuse. They both ended up in the home of a very fundie woman. Lets say she was rather old testiment. J was fine but ended up brain washed. K did not ended up so fine. The constant pressure on her to convert got to her a lot. I remember one time on a retreat she showed me fresh wrist cut from the night before. No one took her to a hospital they just tried to convert her. Prayed for her. No one asked her what was wrong but they just tried to take advange of her weak condition. To make it worse when she wanted to leave that foster care situtation she was treated like a ungraditeful person. Like she was in the wrong. She had it so bad that she had a nervous break down and finally got to the hospital. I reminder trying to see if I could see her find out how she was doing. Every person just did not seem to give a shit. They acted like I was upset about it raining outside instead of requesting about the health of a friend. A couple weeks later to ended up in a good family's home but I still am shaken how they could just throw K away like that. After K left I asked about how she was doing and if she was stable. I got the most evil stares as if I asked how was the devil doing. They seemed to almost hate K. Or at least that what I got out of the shark's eyes staring through me and the rigid shoulders.. Gads Isis that is just awful. I don't even know what to say. My daughter had friends that were in foster caer for a time, they never got a fundy, they did get a woman who apparetly only made pancakes, that was the only food she ever fed them. Fortunatly they got free lunch at school so they did get some other food, but geez. Yes it was in no way a nuturing home. While I this that the woman did care I think her cult made her numb. I remember being told that they had to have bible studies at night with group prayer. Not just by themselves but with the whole "family". Talk about creepy. J told me that her foster mom made her throw out all her non-xtain cds.. What I also did not like is that kate the mom did not have a full time job. She had to raise 4 kids on a out of home day care center and at time party light money. To make it worse she made the foster kids do most of the work for these two careers she had. I can understand chores but she should do her own job or only take in only one or two foster kids. I think she was just taking in the kids to live off the money the state gave her for taking care of them. . I think she raised the lot of them on about 30000 that is in New jersey so it is not easy to raises 4 kids on that money here. I can understand 2 kids but 4-5 not safe especially if one got sick or let me think had to eat... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 I remember when I was growing up my parents (who are still xtian) used to get pissed off by this same procedure. Only the friendship evangelism was not an attempt to save them, but to rope them into Amway. Smart corporation I guess, they rode the coat tails of another meme. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toxic Posted December 28, 2005 Share Posted December 28, 2005 Missionary dating sucks, this is as bad or worse, anyone been on the giving or recieving end? Basically, a xian plays friend, invites not so much to church, but to church events, or "hey come to my house for coffee." I had this family of Elim Pentecostalists living next door to me and they kept inviting me to their church youth group functions on the pretext that I had just moved to the area. They were extremely persistent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ ficino ♦ Posted December 28, 2005 Share Posted December 28, 2005 When I was in InterVarsity in college they really pushed friendship evangelism. In fact, it was the cornerstone of IV's methods. They were pretty strong against dating non-Christians, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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