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Well you might have not realised but I went missing in action for a little while. In fact I shut my account down and tried to go solo in my de-conversion. I just wanted to make sure I was really done with christianity and that no one was pulling any strings. Well I went back to christianity for a little while and man am I sorry, sorry that I had to shack up with jesus again.

 

What I realised about going solo, is that not having answers to why is shit scary sometimes but its god damn honest.

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Welcome back

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welcome back sometimes I think we all need to go solo at some point to shut out the noise.

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Welcome back! :)

 

I was worried about you, and i hoped that whatever your reason for leaving was, that you were okay.

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Hey! Welcome back! We were wondering if you were okay.  Sometimes it's good to shut everything else out to really know for sure. Glad you're back! 

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Welcome back!
 

I'm hanging out here today because I find myself slightly sliding back to Xianity, kind of in a dream (or I should say nightmare!!!) so am snapping myself back to reality.  Sometimes you need help and encouragement from others because it's too easy to get seduced by Jeebus when you are by yourself.  If you are around others, they can verbally smack you upside the head and say, "Bro (sis), what in the heck are you doing/thinking?!!  Wake up!" 

 

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It's good you're wary of the influence of things like peer pressure and group think.  Awareness of this is a good tool to protect you against any number of pitfalls you'll encounter in life.

 

Deconversion is a process for most and it takes a while, so just take your time and go at your own pace.  And like others have said, welcome back my man. 

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I'm so glad you're back! I was worried, too.

 

So, you mention that you slipped back a little. Are there any incidents or revelations you would like to share from this experience? I'd be curious what went on in your mind and your life. I'm sure many of us can relate. If you don't want to share, I understand.

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I'm so glad you're back! I was worried, too.

 

So, you mention that you slipped back a little. Are there any incidents or revelations you would like to share from this experience? I'd be curious what went on in your mind and your life. I'm sure many of us can relate. If you don't want to share, I understand.

Its really all a big blur, I think a month went by before I realised, shit! I need support and if I don't get it ill go crazy. I went back to christian forum site and tried to dance the christ man like everyone else there. The thing is that even if I wanted to I can't go back. It kinda feels I am waking from a bad dream and that feeling your still trapped there lingers.
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Welcome back!

You do whatever you need to in order to process all this. We'll be here when you need it. And, hey, we might not have all the answers why, but exploring is the fun part!

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I'm so glad you're back! I was worried, too.

 

So, you mention that you slipped back a little. Are there any incidents or revelations you would like to share from this experience? I'd be curious what went on in your mind and your life. I'm sure many of us can relate. If you don't want to share, I understand.

Its really all a big blur, I think a month went by before I realised, shit! I need support and if I don't get it ill go crazy. I went back to christian forum site and tried to dance the christ man like everyone else there. The thing is that even if I wanted to I can't go back. It kinda feels I am waking from a bad dream and that feeling your still trapped there lingers.

 

 

Years ago I read an antimony from someone who had gone through something very much like yourself.  He introduced the metaphor of taking questions off the shelf.  He argued that once the questions are unshelved, it's impossible to put them back.  I agree. It's Pandora's box.  Once you open it, you can't put the lid back on. 

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Thanks, not fully out of the woods yet but thats ok.

 

Welcome back chrisstavrous. I personally had to go back to church about 6 times before I finally walked out and knew in my heart it was my last time. Hang in there buddy. You're doing quite well. Don't ever feel abnormal about this. I think it's very common. Keep posting my friend!!

 

Sincerely, Margee

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So good to hear from you. I have been thinking about you and hoping you are ok, and it sounds like many hear were too. Margee is right, don't feel abnormal about this, or any part of the deconversion process really. You are accepted (by many of us, at least) just the way you are. 

 

'What I realised going solo, is that not having answers to why is shit scary sometimes but its god damn honest'

 

I love that, you are being real. It certainly can be terrifying at times but I enjoy being curious about things, and trying to see things for what they are. This is giving me a greater peace than Jesus ever did.

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 I personally had to go back to church about 6 times before I finally walked out and knew in my heart it was my last time.

Margee, this only underscores the parallels to an abusive relationship, doesn't it? I think I mentioned before that once it clicked that what was expected in my relationship with Jeeezus was exactly what was sick and unhealthy in any human relationship, I was on my way to hardcore deconversion. 

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Boftx i am still talking to some christians at christian forum site and theres this young girl named pancakes, she gets really confused about her faith as do many others, but I can't say anything or they will ban me. What do I do?

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