Poonis Posted December 19, 2005 Share Posted December 19, 2005 This is a spinoff from Creepy married guy on Craig's list in rants and replies. I think this brings up an interesting subject: 1. What does marriage mean? 2. What necessitates getting married? 3. Of those necessities, is it possible to fulfill them without marriage? 4. Is the answer based upon those who enter into it, based upon unwritten social norms, religious law, or something else? 5. Is there more than one kind of marriage? 6. Has any of your answers for 2 through 5 caused you to rethink your answer for #1? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amanda Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 1. What does marriage mean? Hi Poonis! FWIW, I think marriage is a serious commitment to build the rest of your lives together. It also engages a deep rooted connection on an intimate level, that physically binds the two also. It means working through the good times and bad times.... TOGETHER. Reading the scenario that you posted, I can sympathize with this guy... yet can not condone his actions... yet. Perhaps the reason she has gotten this way is because of him. Perhaps his extra curricular activities have been sensed by her at a deeper level, and his evasiveness of her has caused her not to care any more. If he didn't have this honey 'on the shelf', he might be treating her differently! He should be working this out, IMO, rather than running away. It seems he might have started expressing his concerns for her extra weight and such, a symptom of a deeper issue with her, when it started! She helped him already, now that she needs him... he runs out on her? Whata' guy! 2. What necessitates getting married? Again, I think this is when two people want to merge and build their future together. Especially if there are children to be involved. 3. Of those necessities, is it possible to fulfill them without marriage? Would you have the most significant business deal of your life, the very foundations to which you are to build the rest of your life, without a legal contract? I think the legalities of it, especially with children involved, gives extra strength and validity to the relationship. As one gets older, the dynamics of the relationship changes significantly... and probably not such a necessitiy. 4. Is the answer based upon those who enter into it, based upon unwritten social norms, religious law, or something else? I think it is something else. Surely, I don't judge those that choose to do it another way! No way! I just think if there is the potential of having children, with that possible intention, it is only fair to have a legally binding agreement to this process. Repercussions of lack of stability in this area are tremendous! IMO. However the agreement is understood, it should lay the foundations to the intentions of both and to honor their initial commitment. Marriage seems to keep the propensity to use/deceive people, to more of a minimum. I think marriage significantly commands intense considerations of these matters! 5. Is there more than one kind of marriage? I would think so. I know that as people get older, their purposes of commitment change. Each person is unique and has different expectations at different stages of their life. Although, I don't know how open marriages can survive. This only allows other offers to manifest. Marriage requires, IMO, a conclusive commitment. Otherwise, why get married at all? 6. Has any of your answers for 2 through 5 caused you to rethink your answer for #1? No. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lycorth Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 1. What does marriage mean? Marriage means a couple have decided to take their relationship further, and, according to human nature, decide to bind themselves to each other via one of many different "oaths" of marriage. 2. What necessitates getting married? If a couple love each other and feel they cannot go on any longer otherwise, then that necessitates marriage. I do tend to think that if a guy knocks his girlfriend up, then he ought to do the responsible thing and marry her. 3. Of those necessities, is it possible to fulfill them without marriage? Yes, in regards to the last one; the guy could just stay loyal to her and they could live together without it, but marriage and, moreover, the oath that a marriage essentially is, is wound deeply in the human psyche and spirit and for most people, they want to take that oath together. 4. Is the answer based upon those who enter into it, based upon unwritten social norms, religious law, or something else? As I've alluded, I think it's a deeply ingrained and natural human trait. In virtually all traditional human cultures, the concept of the oath is held sacred, be it religiously or not. To give one's word and swear to a course of action, come what may, is an essential human trait, and indeed is one of the hallmarks of any truly civilized society, I think. Most people find this hard to deny, and it has been worked into virtuall every religious system known to man. That is a testament, I think, to it's universal and natural significance. The concept of the oath, and especially how it pertains to marriage, are special and important to us, and most people would not choose to live without it. 5. Is there more than one kind of marriage? There can be as many kinds of marriage as there are kinds of people and mindsets, but the one thing that makes a marriage is an oath of fidelity and love sworn by one to the other, and the living of that oath each day. Without that, there is no marriage, and all the magic, prayers, holy water, and hocus-pocus can't change that. 6. Has any of your answers for 2 through 5 caused you to rethink your answer for #1? Nope - just made me feel good to reiterate all that. I will be entering into such with my girlfriend in a year or so, and we cannot wait to take that oath together, knowing its significance and our desire to live it out each day together, through good days and bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reality Amplifier Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 Would you have the most significant business deal of your life, the very foundations to which you are to build the rest of your life, without a legal contract? I think the legalities of it, especially with children involved, gives extra strength and validity to the relationship. As one gets older, the dynamics of the relationship changes significantly... and probably not such a necessitiy. I think marriage should be about a personal commitment to a long-term, loving, exclusive sexual/emotional relationship –it should not be about a contract. A contract does little to make one emotionally committed to a venture if a person is not already emotionally invested in the venture. There is no point arguing that the social contract of marriage today has financial implications associated with it, but doesn't calling it a business decision somehow seem to devalue the emotional concept of marriage? Why does love need a contract? Yet, you are probably right, society has somehow managed to make marriage today into a business decision - hence the existence of divorce lawyers and of pre-nuptial agreements… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Levi Posted December 22, 2005 Share Posted December 22, 2005 Marriage. Ask God. He did it. Besides, Marriage from my point of view is like: - signing a contract - agreeing with terms and conditions - photo i.d - this is serious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazy-tiger Posted December 22, 2005 Share Posted December 22, 2005 Marriage. Ask God. He did it. God got married? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kuroikaze Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 Marriage. Ask God. He did it. Besides, Marriage from my point of view is like: - signing a contract - agreeing with terms and conditions - photo i.d - this is serious. thats a bit of a simplistic view. You do know that marriage has been in many non-christian cultures, and existed long before judaism even existed, don't you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skankboy Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 Levi seems to excel and "simple" answers... I believe the idea of "marriage" varies quite a bit depending on the culture and time in which you evaluate it. Sometimes a pact of love, sometimes an economic necessity. The one common thread I've found is that in all of these, the couple is agreeing to a partnership intended to create a stable social unit w/in the greater society. This is why I think homosexuals (etc) should be allowed to be married. All they are trying to do is create that same social unit and gain the same benefits other couples get for the same reason. Children are, of course, an important part of this unit as it furthers the society, but I see no reason why a gay couple can't contribute in this manner as well, either through adoption or artificial insemination. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluewizard Posted January 1, 2006 Share Posted January 1, 2006 Can you make up your own wedding vows instead of the traditional ones? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
All Gods Fail Posted January 1, 2006 Share Posted January 1, 2006 MARRIAGE, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two. Ambrose Pierce Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazy-tiger Posted January 1, 2006 Share Posted January 1, 2006 Can you make up your own wedding vows instead of the traditional ones? Here in the Good 'ol UK, you can... as long as they contain the "I Do" question and answer. Otherwise it's not legal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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