Anyone Still Catch Themselves Wanting To Pray For Or "bless" People?

[TheSpiritualPilgrim]

My de-conversion is still very fresh and I am processing a lot of things and also getting used to thinking without consulting "god" all the time.  I've caught myself (especially on this forum) with the inclination to say "I'll pray for you" when someone tells their testimony of the struggle they've gone through.  But then I realize how ridiculous that is- not just that this is an ex-christian website but the idea of prayer alone. Even as a Christian I rarely really prayed for people because I found early on that it didn't seem to matter if I prayed or not.  Most of the things I prayed for did not ever happen and the ones that did get answered... well I'm pretty sure they would have been answered regardless of my pleading with the universe to work for my betterment.  I heard a Christian once tell me that witchcraft was "all about control" but I got to thinking about it and what the hell is Christian intercession if not completely about control and trying to get some wizard behind the curtain to pull levers in your favor.  The whole religion which is dressed to be as a faith to help others but is actually quite contradictive in that people usually are Christians for their own selfish reasons.  For their own joy, salvation, security and favor.   Any ways that's my rant for the day.. 

[Storm]

I recently began the deconversion journey myself and I can say that I relate to this. I often spent time just talking with god about my day and there were plenty of times when I felt like I could be truly honest with myself when I did. It was actually sort of cleansing for me, for lack of a better description. I will be honest, sometimes I miss it and I find myself longing for that time "with him". I don't really believe that he exists anymore, but I still find myself still dealing with old habits. Like you, praying for others was not something I did often. I lacked empathy for many people I did not really know well, so that made it hard for me. It has been an adjustment to not pray, and it has been really tough when I am in a family or church gathering and it is done. I just respect what the others are doing and keep my mouth shut. I wish I could just get my deconversion out in the open. But for now I just go with it. Keep on working though it and it will get better.

[RaLeah]

I know what you mean. 

 

I've substituted "I'll pray for you" with "I'll be thinking of you and wishing you a speedy recovery / good luck at your interview / etc. Please keep me updated." 

 

You can also go with, "Wow, that must be really tough. It sounds like you're staying strong and doing the best you can under really difficult circumstances. You can do this. Hang in there. This won't last forever." 

 

If it's someone close to you, you can offer: "Is there anything I can help you with? I could drive you to the hospital / airport / etc. or I could watch your kids for you next Friday night if you need an evening to yourself." or "I can bring over some chicken and rice for your parents on Saturday if you need a break from cooking." 

 

I think understanding, sympathy, support, and acts of generosity or kindness go a lot further than prayers ever could. 

[Sybaris]

I collect pearls of wisdom from contributors here and elsewhere. I copied this from one of our esteemed members just yesterday:

 

"Regarding praying for others,
(1) Are you informing God of something that he did not know about the person?
(2) Are you persuading God to help someone he otherwise would not have wanted to help?
(3) Are you giving God power to help someone he otherwise could not help?"

[gall]

I find it insultig to be "blessed" by someone as though I need the fantasy they are offering me.

 

I hate hate hate hearing this phrase when I am leaving someplace from a stranger...

 

"have a blessed day"

 

 

It always makes me want to say "eat shit" back to them but I bite my tongue and leave.

[gingernut]

I usually just do the "I'll be thinking of you" thing. But I don't ever know what to say when someone says to me, "I'll be praying for you." I just find myself struck dumb. I have yet to turn and say "don't bother".

[new2me]

I usually just do the "I'll be thinking of you" thing. But I don't ever know what to say when someone says to me, "I'll be praying for you." I just find myself struck dumb. I have yet to turn and say "don't bother".

I also find it awkward when someone tells me they're praying for me.  However, I try to take it in the spirit that it is offered.  When I told my Christian friend I was an atheist, at the end of the discussion she told me she would pray for me.  I told her that was fine!  I know that the act itself is useless, but if it makes her feel better and feel that she is doing something to help me, then at least it does something good for her.

 

My mom told me recently that she had asked her church friends to pray for my son when he was undergoing a minor surgery, and I just said thank you.  She doesn't know I don't believe anymore, and it doesn't seem necessary for me to clarify that for her.

 

I swap out the words "you are in my thoughts" with what used to be "you are in my prayers."  It seemed strange at first, but now it feels completely natural to say it that way.