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Alumni Art Show


Burt_Lemur
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The Catholic College where I got my art degree has an alumni art show every year. About a month ago I got the call for entries mailed to me as I do every year. I haven't entered anything for several years, but as I was thinking about it late one night I got an idea that would be a lot of fun.

 

My concept was to produce a large painting of the crucifixion. It seems like every year there is at least one piece of art in the show featuring the crucifixion, as it's such a cliche topic for art, especially at a Catholic college. The nuns who run this college appear to always be happy to have crucifixion paintings and drawings adorning the walls, and they're almost always the same approach over and over.

 

So my idea, and I know this was just to be spiteful, was to paint an enormous scene of the crucifixion, with the difference from all other ones I've ever seen painted being that Jesus would have an erection. He would be looking to the sky in ecstasy, and Roman soldiers would be looking at him in shock, one of them drawing his sword.

 

It would be so great to see this on the wall on opening night of the alumni show, and the reactions to it, but I know it's a mean-spirited idea and I would never actually do it. Also, I noticed in the fine print of the call for entries that they will not display any artwork the school finds objectionable, so it would never be allowed into the show anyway.

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The morning after writing this post, I realize it probably sounds weird and twisted, and definitely a horrible idea. Sorry.

 

I think it was my reaction to seeing the fine print that said no artwork would be allowed that the administration would find objectionable. I saw a lot of this when I was in art school, in an environment that should have been all about creativity, but at a college administered by 500-year-old nuns who stifled creativity regularly.

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LOL, I understand the impulse and I don't even remotely think you need to apologize for it.

 

But speaking of "objectionable" art, it has long boggled my mind that Christians think that depictions of torture (or wearing the symbol of a torture device around their necks) are so a-okay when they object to so much else.

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Oh I think we could have fun with it.

It can go in the humor and satire forum. ;)

 

I was thinking that it would be even more objectionable if Mary and other women were kneeling at the foot of the cross looking up at that stiffy.

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It might not be so off the mark. It's known that when men are hanged in the old-style fashion (i.e. by a means not designed to break the neck) they die with an erection and they ejaculate. Since victims of crucifixion typically die from suffocation, for all I know there might be some similar physiological responses.

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The Catholic College where I got my art degree has an alumni art show every year. About a month ago I got the call for entries mailed to me as I do every year. I haven't entered anything for several years, but as I was thinking about it late one night I got an idea that would be a lot of fun.

 

My concept was to produce a large painting of the crucifixion. It seems like every year there is at least one piece of art in the show featuring the crucifixion, as it's such a cliche topic for art, especially at a Catholic college. The nuns who run this college appear to always be happy to have crucifixion paintings and drawings adorning the walls, and they're almost always the same approach over and over.

 

So my idea, and I know this was just to be spiteful, was to paint an enormous scene of the crucifixion, with the difference from all other ones I've ever seen painted being that Jesus would have an erection. He would be looking to the sky in ecstasy, and Roman soldiers would be looking at him in shock, one of them drawing his sword.

 

It would be so great to see this on the wall on opening night of the alumni show, and the reactions to it, but I know it's a mean-spirited idea and I would never actually do it. Also, I noticed in the fine print of the call for entries that they will not display any artwork the school finds objectionable, so it would never be allowed into the show anyway.

 

If you create something like this I would love to see it. :-)

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That's an interesting point about asphyxia arousal, ScyWalker, I hadn't actually thought of that. Maybe Jesus did have a "hard" death! Too bad Mel Gibson didn't think of it as well.

 

Not that I even believe the event ever really happened or is more than a folk tale. I could imagine that if Jesus was a real person, told as a kid that he's the son of God by extremely twisted parents who wanted to hide the fact that they conceived him before marriage; the effect on the young boy would be a lifetime of being unbelievably delusional and weird. What would a kid be like actually going through life convinced he's the son of and one with the biblical character of God? How could he not be an egomaniacal asshole on an astronomical level? And when finally nailed to a cross, dying with all that delusion . . . BOING!

 

Hmmm... Maybe I will paint this thing some day!

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Ha! That's disgusting!

 

But no less so than much Christian art, the last time I walked into a church (I like the architecture!) I had to walk out again when I realised I was surrounded by statues of dead and dying people, it was super creepy D:

 

Actually what you described might work even better as a sculpture, if you somehow make sure the erection is at eye-height! Hmm!

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