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Goodbye Jesus

I'm Not Dead.


ContraBardus

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I am currently sitting in the Shands UF CICU.

 

I have successfully undergone major surgery to repair my heart. I'm very recovered, my surgery was Monday, and I was able to completely stop using the pain medications about a day and a half after the surgery. I am able to walk around enough to get around my room and do little things like dress myself, bathe myself, take a dump without help, etc. My surgery actually went better than expected and thanks to therapy and medication, I was in better shape than they thought. I'm not a hundred percent yet, but I'm getting there fast and will likely be home by the end of next week at the absolute latest.

 

A while ago I reported in another thread that I had a congenital heart condition that led to Pulmonary Hypertension as well and that I required a heart and lung transplant. I no longer need a transplant of any kind. I'll spend the rest of my life on Pulmonary medications, but my lung function should actually come close to normal and not deteriorate further. Normal is an outside chance, but I've been doing pretty good on those with this so far.

 

I am on new drugs and the best possible therapeutic care at one of the top cardiovascular and research hospitals in the United States. The surgeon who performed my operation is the leading Congenital Heart Surgeon in the Country and is used to working with much smaller and more fragile hearts than mine. His average patient is about ten weeks old and he has the best mortality rate amongst pediatric surgeons in the country. [Congenital defects are treated by pediatric physicians no matter how old you are.]

 

Oh, I am also constantly surrounded by many hot young nurses and nursing students, though I am only just now getting recovered enough to enjoy it.

 

My family thinks that prayers and Jesus fixed my illness. I have received a flood of congratulations tied to claims that 'God is watching over me' and assorted other praises to him for my 'Miraculous' recovery and am now being tossed about Facebook as a 'miracle' and how 'blessed' I am.

 

I've also gotten lots of unnecessarily long winded E-mails, many with video links and assorted christian imagery. I was kind of expecting it.

 

I've even gotten a few cards covered in half naked people with wings with glitter borders and fancy fonts from some of the less socially networked members of my family and my mother's church.

 

I've got a ton of videos from well meaning Christians in my family and their Facebook friends. Usually involving a song that has the word 'life' in it a bunch of times and being 'resurrected by his love' or some such. Man, there are a lot of horrible horrible songs like that. My current wall has more 'praise' on it than a Baptist revival.

 

I don't respond sharply to well wishers despite the annoyance this causes me. I'm not in the best shape, but not that much of an asshole either.

 

I have taken to replying with the video above. It's gone over rather well and doesn't seem to have upset anyone. I'm pretty sure it's gone completely over everyone's head and they find it cute and amusing. I find it far more appropriate to my situation. and am enjoying most of them missing the subtle sarcasm in response to their praises to Jesus for my current condition. I've gotten lots of likes.

 

Anyway, I'm not dead, my wall will eventually clear of this sort of crap on it's own as new stuff comes up from my family. Probably before I'm out of the hospital to be honest.

 

I swear it's more fun -because- they don't notice it for some reason.

 

Anyway, thanks to everyone here. It's been fun, and looks very much like it will continue to be fun for quite a while in the future.

 

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a few tests to run.

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woohoo.gif 

 

Glad you are still kicking!!!!

 

58.gif 

 

 

Sorry to hear about your family but putting up with crap is part of life.

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I'm glad that your recovery has gone so well! woohoo.gif Praise Jebus for the hard work that the doctors and nurses did while he sat on his ass and helped Christians find their car keys with his magical mind power.

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I don't know you yet, but I am glad you are enjoying all the hot nurses! Carpe Diem.

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Praise the Lord! GONZ9729CustomImage1539775.gif

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Here is hoping for a good recovery. Take care.

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All the Best to you ContraBardus !

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Glad you're doing well -- despite the xtian prey-ers ummmm...  pray-ers ummmm... no, that was right -  prey-ers who surround you.  GONZ9729CustomImage1539775.gif

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I'm glad that your recovery has gone so well! woohoo.gif Praise Jebus for the hard work that the doctors and nurses did while he sat on his ass and helped Christians find their car keys with his magical mind power.

 

I second that. Oh, and find parking spots.

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Glad to hear from you and best wishes for your health.  Funny  how god works through highly trained scientists and surgeons though  :D

 

Praise science and medicine!

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Glad to hear the surgery went well, CB!  Modern medical science rocks the house.  woohoo.gif

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Hurray for all the men and women who built upon each other's skill and knowledge over the years for you to bring this happy news to us.

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This is wonderful news Contra!!  Congratulations my friend! I am so happy to hear that you are doing well!! Best of everything to you!! Go and enjoy that green grass, those lovely flowers and that beautiful blue sky!

 

These are for you today!! A mans bouquet!!! yellow.gif

 

5951793094_066fb29c39.jpg

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Congratulations- that's a fucking remarkable recovery!

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To quote BrotherJeff, 'glory!'

 

You're strong as an ox as they say.

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"Yes, Yes I'm sure god really did guide the doctor's hand and give him the knowlege to perform the surgery successfully; my only question is why didn't god give himself the knowlege to design a heart that wouldn't need surgery?"

 

"Oh, that's easy!  It's because god is all-knowi... wait, what?"

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Margee, I want one of those "mans bouquet"...........GONZ9729CustomImage1539775.gif

 

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------

 

ETA:  Yes, I prefer the bottles filled please, Margee.  (Thanks for looking out for me, RW!  )

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Margee, I want one of those "mans bouquet"...........GONZ9729CustomImage1539775.gif

 

Except... it kinda looks like the bottles are empty. Please remedy this problem before sending to Buffettphan, OK Margee?  yellow.gif

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..I don't respond sharply to well wishers despite the annoyance this causes me. I'm not in the best shape, but not that much of an asshole either...

 

Nice post and congrats.  Its only when you are out of the bubble, do you get how annoying Christians actually are. And yes, they annoy the hell out of people!!!

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