Idontevenknow99 Posted November 3, 2013 Share Posted November 3, 2013 [Link] I remember, about four months ago it was, when I came across an article someone posted on Facebook. The person who posted it a while back is a Christian (at least I think she still is but is no longer a member of the church I attended), and basically the original author recalls when she once bought into the "god has a husband waiting for you/preparing a husband for you" belief. But nowhere in the bible is this idea supported by any means and the only thing that comes close to it is the "promises of god" line people think justifies their belief that god's will includes providing them with a husband or wife. Let's look at some of the bible verses that actually have something to say about wives, husbands, and marriage. Genesis 2:24-That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh Proverbs 18:22- Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor of the LORD. Ephesians 5:33- So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. These and a host of others fairly share the same concept. A man goes out to find a wife, a man takes up a woman to be his wife, no adultery, no woman should be defiled, must be a virgin, respect her husband etc etc. I picked out these verses randomly, and serve no contextual purpose but to say that no biblical verse supports the idea of god "preparing a wife or a husband." That is something that Christians decided god was going to do. Whether it is through some spiritual, emotional, or financial maturity, which in any case is always a good idea before entering into a serious relationship, we can pretty much get by on these ideas on our own. Even when I was under this impression, I hardly thought we needed God's spiritual intervention for things like relationships. It only takes common sense and what we want in a mate. So the woman in the original article doesn't believe in the concept of a soul-mate. The article is rather short, you can read it here, and to save this post from being too long-winded, one of the hardest things I see Christians (or ones that I'm familiar with) go through is once they've got the hang of salvation, the next step is to start "trusting god" with normal, earthly things as well. Okay, God, so which college should I go to? Am I going to get married God? Who will I marry? When you're told it's dangerous to trust your own intuition on basic, modern human desires such as marriage, it's reversed even further to make people think they will end up with the wrong person. But I was always worried I'd have to say "yes" to someone I didn't even find attractive, let alone compatible, but only because it was God telling me this was "the one." I still struggle with this, admittedly and I can't find my way out. The "no dating" rule was enforced at my church, and til this day, dating is one of the scariest things that comes to mind. Now, I know dating in the real world is a scary thing for some, and relationships are a trial-and-error process anyway, but wouldn't it be much more easier to think you can be with someone you genuinely love rather than "arranged" courtship and all the nonsense? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galien Posted November 3, 2013 Share Posted November 3, 2013 Trust your intuition. Churches lie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amateur Posted November 3, 2013 Share Posted November 3, 2013 Date whoever you want for whatever reason you want. It's fun. When I met my first husband, he was easy to be with and fun and we really fit together in all ways. We have two great kids and he's a good dad. When things fell apart between us (completely fell apart), we got divorced. We're still friends and he's still a good dad. I dated a bunch of guys after the divorce. It was fun! I have some great memories, some wild ones, and some super sweet ones. I met my current husband and he kind of accidentally moved into my house when he became homeless. We got along so perfectly that we got married nine months after he accidentally moved in. We never actually dated. We just had our four-year anniversary and I'm still completely in love with him and he with me. We're almost exact opposites but we somehow work perfectly together. None of the above had anything to do with god. I'm sure the churches like the ones above would be heavy on their disapproval rating of me. Like I care! But it's all been an adventure. You never know what you'll find around the next bend. But you'll never find anything if you never leave the parking lot. I also thought that a long time ago, "love" and "attraction" were fairly low on the list of reasons to get married. I thought it had more to do with linking families together or making a good match between clans. I thought back then they would have been way more pragmatic about it, not spending lots of times on dating and wooing and whispering sweet nothings. I'm sure people from back then would be as confused at our system. We base marriage on "love" and "feelings"? We consider personal happiness to be supreme, back then I think it was more clan oriented. Even in other cultures today, the concept of personal happiness is below the family or clan. But we live in the culture we live in. We have time and resources and finances to date. We have good contraception. Get out there and date and have some fun! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted November 3, 2013 Super Moderator Share Posted November 3, 2013 st. paul tell us that marriage is basically an elaborate object lesson to teach us about the relationship jesus wants to have with his bride (the church). But jesus said that in heaven there would be no marriage, that we would all be like the angels. So here's the scenario presented by the church: god has someone special, someone just for you. You will spend your life with this one person and know this one person more intimately than anyone else. You will have more passion, more dedication, more triumph and more trajedy with this one person than anyone else in your life. Ultimately, you will have more love than you have ever known. god does this for you so that you can know how jesus feels about the church. And then, you get to spend all of eternity in heaven seeing this person everyday, but not loving them, not being intimate with them. You will have no passion, feel no loyalty, and experience no triumph with this person. Instead, you will feel nothing for this person but the same benign indifference you currently feel for the person at the cash register of your local grocery store... For all of eternity. God does this so that you will quietly submit to his ruthless ambition to be your only love for all eternity. How insidious! How tyrranical! What kind of cruel, sick, and twisted mind could think of such an abominable double-cross? In short, love who you want, without fear and without shame. god's way is sure to end in nothing but misery. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amateur Posted November 3, 2013 Share Posted November 3, 2013 st. paul tell us that marriage is basically an elaborate object lesson to teach us about the relationship jesus wants to have with his bride (the church). But jesus said that in heaven there would be no marriage, that we would all be like the angels. So here's the scenario presented by the church: god has someone special, someone just for you. You will spend your life with this one person and know this one person more intimately than anyone else. You will have more passion, more dedication, more triumph and more trajedy with this one person than anyone else in your life. Ultimately, you will have more love than you have ever known. god does this for you so that you can know how jesus feels about the church. And then, you get to spend all of eternity in heaven seeing this person everyday, but not loving them, not being intimate with them. You will have no passion, feel no loyalty, and experience no triumph with this person. Instead, you will feel nothing for this person but the same benign indifference you currently feel for the person at the cash register of your local grocery store... For all of eternity. God does this so that you will quietly submit to his ruthless ambition to be your only love for all eternity. How insidious! How tyrranical! What kind of cruel, sick, and twisted mind could think of such an abominable double-cross? In short, love who you want, without fear and without shame. god's way is sure to end in nothing but misery. Oh gag, that is so true, that's the biblical message on marriage! RedneckProf, you should become a preacher only so you can perform marriages and give this as your marriage sermon!!! Oh, imagine the reaction from the bride and groom, and the families! But it's all TRUE! The bible says we also HAVE to stay married on earth unless there is adultery, so you can add that this couple will have to stay together until they die whether they even can bear each other or not by the end (or after a few years), only to transfer all that they have learned from marriage onto god when they die! Wow, what a lesson. "Here I am, god, ready to love you and worship you forever, after spending 50 years with that son of a bitch on earth." Stupid system they came up with! Someone should have edited that book better, and caught some of this shit. Seriously, get out there and date and have a ball! You're young, right? Get out there, ditch all those rules, and grab the gold! And use good contraception. Every. Single. Time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted November 3, 2013 Super Moderator Share Posted November 3, 2013 ^^^Amateur, I was well on my way to becoming a preacher when I left for college many years ago. I often think about what it would have been like if I had stayed the course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amateur Posted November 3, 2013 Share Posted November 3, 2013 ^^^Redneck Prof, well, if you had kept this shit up, I would've joined your congregation! Cheerfully! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted November 4, 2013 Super Moderator Share Posted November 4, 2013 ^^^I'd have given them hell for sure, Amateur! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilith666 Posted November 5, 2013 Share Posted November 5, 2013 I thought I was going to hear the old, "JESUS is my soul mate!!!" JordanRiver-type stuff. But yeah. The idea you mention was invented by cutesy Xians who focus on the "god is love and he has a plan for you" rubbish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilith666 Posted November 5, 2013 Share Posted November 5, 2013 st. paul tell us that marriage is basically an elaborate object lesson to teach us about the relationship jesus wants to have with his bride (the church). But jesus said that in heaven there would be no marriage, that we would all be like the angels. So here's the scenario presented by the church: god has someone special, someone just for you. You will spend your life with this one person and know this one person more intimately than anyone else. You will have more passion, more dedication, more triumph and more trajedy with this one person than anyone else in your life. Ultimately, you will have more love than you have ever known. god does this for you so that you can know how jesus feels about the church. And then, you get to spend all of eternity in heaven seeing this person everyday, but not loving them, not being intimate with them. You will have no passion, feel no loyalty, and experience no triumph with this person. Instead, you will feel nothing for this person but the same benign indifference you currently feel for the person at the cash register of your local grocery store... For all of eternity. God does this so that you will quietly submit to his ruthless ambition to be your only love for all eternity. How insidious! How tyrranical! What kind of cruel, sick, and twisted mind could think of such an abominable double-cross? In short, love who you want, without fear and without shame. god's way is sure to end in nothing but misery. Yeah. Another reason Xianity always depressed me--I'm such a romantic and biblegod was always following me around, reminding me that HE MUST ALWAYS COME FIRST before anyone else I love. Nasty, nasty feeling. And I detested the idea of falling in love and then being forced to give it up because Jesus must take priority. Rubbish. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kolaida Posted November 5, 2013 Share Posted November 5, 2013 st. paul tell us that marriage is basically an elaborate object lesson to teach us about the relationship jesus wants to have with his bride (the church). But jesus said that in heaven there would be no marriage, that we would all be like the angels. So here's the scenario presented by the church: god has someone special, someone just for you. You will spend your life with this one person and know this one person more intimately than anyone else. You will have more passion, more dedication, more triumph and more trajedy with this one person than anyone else in your life. Ultimately, you will have more love than you have ever known. god does this for you so that you can know how jesus feels about the church. And then, you get to spend all of eternity in heaven seeing this person everyday, but not loving them, not being intimate with them. You will have no passion, feel no loyalty, and experience no triumph with this person. Instead, you will feel nothing for this person but the same benign indifference you currently feel for the person at the cash register of your local grocery store... For all of eternity. God does this so that you will quietly submit to his ruthless ambition to be your only love for all eternity. How insidious! How tyrranical! What kind of cruel, sick, and twisted mind could think of such an abominable double-cross? In short, love who you want, without fear and without shame. god's way is sure to end in nothing but misery. Yeah. Another reason Xianity always depressed me--I'm such a romantic and biblegod was always following me around, reminding me that HE MUST ALWAYS COME FIRST before anyone else I love. Nasty, nasty feeling. And I detested the idea of falling in love and then being forced to give it up because Jesus must take priority. Rubbish. Yes, exactly. And then I'd get all creeped out by the thought of Jesus possibly watching me have have sex. Or OTHER people just hanging out in Heaven with Jesus just watching. Like, "There she is going at it...." Then I'd feel terrible because surely they had OTHER things to do than just invest time in my sex life, but then I'd remember Jesus was always watching, ahhh, drove me insane. And it also disturbed me that we always had to love Jesus more than the other person and even our kids, like I just couldn't get past that part. Ugh, all of it is rubbish. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts