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Goodbye Jesus

Bipolar And Depressed


Brother Jeff

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Hey everybody,

 

I have been away for a while and have generally been doing well, but I do have bipolar disorder and I have spent the last two days mostly in bed severely depressed and I haven't been eating much. I am feeling better today and I am interested in food again, so that's a good sign.

 

I have been living in Alaska for about nine years now and I attend NAMI meetings in Anchorage regularly. But I am on vacation in Texas right now and I doubt the small town I am in (Brenham) has meetings. The closest meetings would probably be in Houston or Austin. Both cities are over an hour away, and I hate driving in large cities. I have anxiety issues and facing the freeways or downtown areas scares the hell out of me. I don't even like parallel parking, lol...

 

I appreciate the support I get here and on Facebook, but I need local support too, especially when I am going through a depression. If I was in Anchorage, I would have gone to the hospital on Sunday. They have excellent mental health care facilities there. Here in Brenham, I just stayed in bed and tried to sleep through it. I have written my friend Francine, who is the executive director of NAMI in Anchorage, hoping she can help me find a meeting here. We'll see, I guess. I have such good support in Alaska, but not much here in Texas other than family who understand and care. That matters a lot, of course, but I need the professional support too.

 

At least I have maintained enough sanity not to go off the deep end into another intense but short-lived "reconversion" experience. I need religion like I need another hole in my head!

 

Anyway, thanks for listening and for the support and caring I always get here. :)

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Hey Jeff.  Good to see you, sorry to hear you're in an episode.  I'm bi-polar with anxiety and depressed a lot too, but didn't know about NAMI.  As it turns out there's one in my county, which I'm looking into.  Thanks for that one.  Have you identified your triggers?  Is it family?

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Hey Brother Jeff! 

 

I'm happy to hear you're still sane! ;)   That sucks, I'm not bipolar (I think) but I do have anxiety, ocd, and depression (which all pretty much do hand in hand as I'm sure you already know).  I completely understand the fear of driving freeways and large cities, ugh, it's horrible and my heart always picks up speed.  I don't know what you can really do (I'd say exercise but we all know when you're depressed it takes so much effort to even get out of bed. I usually tell myself it'll be better in a couple hours, it'll be be hour in a couple hours, of course I've been telling myself that for I don't even know how many years). Although, lately, I've been trying to tell myself to in and control the present moment and experience that instead of worry/depression or focusing on future moments.  Takes a ton of effort though 

 

Local support does really matter (glad to hear you have some supportive relatives, though).  Hang in there. How long is the vacation for?

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Jeff,

 

So very Sorry  to hear of your latest episode Jeff!! I know you love the outdoors and I very much enjoy your photos from the hikes.  Is there anywhere in Texas close to you that you can hike? Anyone that can join you? Maybe a local Hiking group?  Maybe it's just me, but it seems like when you're out in nature you have less episodes. 

 

I hope you're on the mend soon!!!  Let me know if there's anything I can do, even if it's just to listen. 

 

All the best ♥

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Hey Jeff.  Good to see you, sorry to hear you're in an episode.  I'm bi-polar with anxiety and depressed a lot too, but didn't know about NAMI.  As it turns out there's one in my county, which I'm looking into.  Thanks for that one.  Have you identified your triggers?  Is it family?

 

Hey Brother Voice! NAMI is great! I love the support I get there, and I have made some good friends too.

 

My triggers are mostly food-related. I have not been eating very healthy since I have been in Texas, so that probably has something to do with the depression. I am working on the diet, but it's hard to be good when you are on vacation! :)

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Hey Brother Jeff! 

 

I'm happy to hear you're still sane! wink.png   That sucks, I'm not bipolar (I think) but I do have anxiety, ocd, and depression (which all pretty much do hand in hand as I'm sure you already know).  I completely understand the fear of driving freeways and large cities, ugh, it's horrible and my heart always picks up speed.  I don't know what you can really do (I'd say exercise but we all know when you're depressed it takes so much effort to even get out of bed. I usually tell myself it'll be better in a couple hours, it'll be be hour in a couple hours, of course I've been telling myself that for I don't even know how many years). Although, lately, I've been trying to tell myself to in and control the present moment and experience that instead of worry/depression or focusing on future moments.  Takes a ton of effort though 

 

Local support does really matter (glad to hear you have some supportive relatives, though).  Hang in there. How long is the vacation for?

 

Hey Sister Kolaida! I'm glad I'm still sane too! :) I'll be here in Texas through Christmas, so I still have a while. And then things are uncertain in Alaska. My father lost his job after his company lost a big contract. He is 73 and has not been able to find work again. I am very concerned that I may have to move back here to Texas permanently. I don't want to leave Alaska, but I may have to...

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Jeff,

 

So very Sorry  to hear of your latest episode Jeff!! I know you love the outdoors and I very much enjoy your photos from the hikes.  Is there anywhere in Texas close to you that you can hike? Anyone that can join you? Maybe a local Hiking group?  Maybe it's just me, but it seems like when you're out in nature you have less episodes. 

 

I hope you're on the mend soon!!!  Let me know if there's anything I can do, even if it's just to listen. 

 

All the best ♥

 

Hey Sister Japedo! I am planning to do some biking with a relative of ours in a few days, but there is no good hiking that I am aware of anywhere close to Brenham. I do feel better when I am out in nature, and I am missing Alaska. I so hope I won't have to leave there for good. Hoping my father's job situation works out so we can stay there!

 

I am feeling better but I'm not 100%. Hopefully I will keep feeling better over the coming days! Glory! :)

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At least I have maintained enough sanity not to go off the deep end into another intense but short-lived "reconversion" experience. I need religion like I need another hole in my head!

 

 

Pastors are vultures.  Give me 10% of your income and I will tell you any kind of fantasy story you want to hear.  Stay strong Brother Jeff.  I'm not so good at fighting depression but maybe stay active.  Do something different.  It's tough.  Hang in there. 

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I am Bipolar also, and I manage to stay pretty "normal" through daily intense exercise.  I am not on any medication, but I go to the gym and do a hardcore weight-training circuit every morning...I sort of get "high" on endorphins and hormones that get stimulated through the exercise.

 

It has been like MEDICATION for my bipolar!  My wife notices a dramatic deterioration of mymood if I don't make it to the gym for a few days, she can always tell.  Often, I will go to the gym tired and kind of mopey, but after lifting for 45 minutes or so, I feel AWESOME, and the mood elevation lasts all day.

 

I am not saying that your case is exactly like mine, or that exercise is the answer for you, but for me and being diagnosed with Bipolar for 14 years...Intense Daily EXERCISE has been the best medicine.  I have tried several different psychiatric medications, and self-medicated with Cannabis, whoch works, but quickly wears off and sometimes put me into a manic state....OOPS!

 

Good luck, stay positive.

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If I was in Anchorage, I would have gone to the hospital on Sunday. They have excellent mental health care facilities there. Here in Brenham, I just stayed in bed and tried to sleep through it.

 

I was going to suggest the Blue Bell Creamery in lieu of a far away hospital, but you said your problems are food related. One would think that ice cream would be helpful, not harmful!

 

My wife's new psychiatrist tried to send her to the hospital over the weekend, but she had been cooped up with all of the dark gloomy rainy days and Saturday and Sunday promised to be beautiful (which they were), so she just flat refused to go! What she really wanted was some Ambien because she wasn't sleeping much at all, but she was so depressed they thought she needed to be supervised. We actually made it through the weekend pretty well. Some OTC sleeping stuff called Kavinace PM plus a glass of wine helped her to sleep (not doctor recommended!), and we were out enough in the nice weather that she was better. (We're in Houston, by the way.)

 

I haven't heard of NAMI. Looks like there are locations north of Houston in The Woodlands and down south in Alvin. We've actually been talking about moving to The Woodlands, so maybe that would be a good resource for her.

 

By the way, if they have the meetings at the Woodlands location, you don't actually have to drive all the way to Houston to get there. You'd have to come on 290 as far as Beltway 8 (Sam Houston Tollway) then over to I-45 and head back north, away from the city. Just a thought. Good luck.

 

Very sorry you're having trouble right now, but thanks for posting.

 

(The location near The Woodlands is NAMI Montgomery County.)

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Hey Brother Jeff. I like your posts no matter what mood you're in. Glad to see you here. Peace!

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Hi Jeff

 

Glad that you feel able to chat on these boards even though you're having a rough time of it! Have known you in cyber-space for a very long time now (I think it must be about 11 years).

 

This phase will pass, just like all the other bad phases have passed! You have collected a lot of wisdom for dealing with these issues over the years!

 

Stay strong buddy!

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I was going to suggest the Blue Bell Creamery in lieu of a far away hospital, but you said your problems are food related. One would think that ice cream would be helpful, not harmful!

 

Ice cream has triggered depression for me before.

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Hey Jeff.  Good to see you, sorry to hear you're in an episode.  I'm bi-polar with anxiety and depressed a lot too, but didn't know about NAMI.  As it turns out there's one in my county, which I'm looking into.  Thanks for that one.  Have you identified your triggers?  Is it family?

 

Hey Brother Voice! NAMI is great! I love the support I get there, and I have made some good friends too.

 

My triggers are mostly food-related. I have not been eating very healthy since I have been in Texas, so that probably has something to do with the depression. I am working on the diet, but it's hard to be good when you are on vacation! smile.png

 

Diets don't work. Change does.

You need to change your eating habits in such a way you can stick to them on a permanent bases.

Doing a diet for lets say 3 months and then going back or trying to limit yourself is just going to mess with your body.

 

The way i lost weight and got healthier is by:

1 - not drinking any more sodas. I only drink water and orange juice now. And some times a whiskey coke. In the beginning its a little hard but after that its just "normal" and effortless. Was extremely tired for the first 2 weeks due to the lack of sugar overdose tongue.png But i have much more energy now.

2 - Get of my lazy fat ass and do something. And i mean simple things like clean the terrace 2x a week, go to the supermarket 3x a week etc.

 

Food wise well, Get yourself some cook books or check out some cooking websites. Seriously. there are so many tasty,easy,fast and cheap things you can prepare you'll be amazed (for me that was a real eye opener).

They even have a cooking page where all meals are bellow 3$ wish i tried when i needed to save some cash smile.png

I'm not saying go eat salads or so. Instead check out some Japanese food and go visit a Asian market for the ingredients. Most Japanese food is low fat and healthy and much more tasty then a crappy salad tongue.png

 

When you get the ball rolling, the ball roles by itself smile.png

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