Idontevenknow99 Posted November 9, 2013 Share Posted November 9, 2013 I'm thinking about going to this movie night that my ex-church is having around 6pm (eastern time) tonight. I'm a little scared because I don't want to fall right back in with- you know- the church doctrine! They are showing a Christian film (ugh) which I have never been interested in anyway. I'm not feeling it because my friend is supposed to be treating me to dinner for my birthday but she wasn't able to do it tonight, and that's understandable, but is more than happy to invite me to the movie thing at church. I know it's just an opportunity to get me back in, but I just don't get why. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted November 9, 2013 Super Moderator Share Posted November 9, 2013 Why would you do something you don't want to do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pawn Posted November 9, 2013 Share Posted November 9, 2013 Why are you thinking if going to this? Interested in the film? The people? Seems like an obvious thing to reject to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kolaida Posted November 9, 2013 Share Posted November 9, 2013 It's up to you, as someone else pointed out church does have a community-draw card. Women are especially drawn to this so I see the appeal. Just know it's gonna be weird and people are gonna be praying for you and they are gonna keep re-inviting you over and over. If you're there, good luck! Hope you have some fun, though I think it's lame of your friend to do that to you. She could have just rescheduled it esp if she knows how you feel about the church. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisstavrous Posted November 9, 2013 Share Posted November 9, 2013 What are you going to watch, the sound of music the church version. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milesaway Posted November 9, 2013 Share Posted November 9, 2013 I personally wouldn't go. If your friend couldn't make it to your birthday party, but is more than happy to go with you to this church movie screening, then there's some shit amiss. It's a ploy to drag you back into church. They can't wrap their heads around someone leaving their little club, and they'll go to any means necessary to keep that from happening. I would decline the offer and ask your friend if you wanna hang out together some other time soon. Don't be surprised if she refuses and instead offers another church activity. It's all about keeping their numbers up so they can have something to brag about. Even if it means lying to a friend and flaking out on birthday parties. Doesn't matter. It's all for the cause. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniterider Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 I'm thinking about going to this movie night that my ex-church is having around 6pm (eastern time) tonight. I'm a little scared because I don't want to fall right back in with- you know- the church doctrine! They are showing a Christian film (ugh) which I have never been interested in anyway. I'm not feeling it because my friend is supposed to be treating me to dinner for my birthday but she wasn't able to do it tonight, and that's understandable, but is more than happy to invite me to the movie thing at church. I know it's just an opportunity to get me back in, but I just don't get why. Because she is brainwashed she wants to assist in brainwashing you also. Fuck the church. You can turn on Dr Phil if you want to torture yourself. Make her take you to a nice restaurant. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExCBooster Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 The Do I Want to See This Movie Checklist: People I like? People who like me? Good movie? Fun? If any of these are "no," skip it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flockoff Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 I share the reaction of everyone else who said they don't see the reason why you're thinking about this. The way you worded your post sounds like you see the ploy right in front of you. Stay home and stream something you like on your Netflix. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Idontevenknow99 Posted November 10, 2013 Author Share Posted November 10, 2013 So I'm back from the movie and I am still in one piece, and no, there wasn't an unexpected alter call at the end of the movie. Chrisstavrous, lol they showed Unconditional, a Christian film, starring Michael Ealy, whom I'm not exactly sure is a Christian or not, I don't know. Not sure if anyone's heard of him, but he appears in a lot of films with a predominantly black cast. It also stars Lynn Collins, whom I've never heard of, but in her Wikipedia bio it says, "Collins was raised in a "very, very religious" family of Southern Baptists, and has since explored several religious faiths, describing herself as a 'pretty spiritual person'"Maybe that's why she got the part, but who knows, who cares. I took the movie with a grain of salt, checking for obvious tropes, clichés and so forth. It was okay. However, it is based on true events; a guy who helps inner-city kids, the unconditional love that they need etc, and in the process helps the woman, Lynn Collins' character, see that "God is always reaching out for us" and all that. It made sense and wasn't preachy about its message. But as everyone else commented, I originally didn't want to go for all the obvious reasons. My friend bought me the movie ticket and popcorn. I'm glad nobody asked me "why haven't you been here?" but I was stunned to see that they were so happy to see me. Like, a couple of people told me that they had been thinking about me. Really, church has a nice, warm group of people, and that's great too, but I don't want to keep showing up knowing I've learned so much while I was absent. I don't see the point in it, I can't keep two ideas going in my head- it's enough to drive you insane, seriously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilith666 Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 Since you just got out, I don't think this is a good idea. Weren't you sort-of Xian a few weeks ago? And you're emotionally attached to your friend and probably people in the church, so it might not be hard for them to draw you back in. How about suggesting a nice, safe movie night for yourself and your friend? EDIT: I read the other posts. OK, so you went. I still think staying away from there for awhile might be good, if what I said above is true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milesaway Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 But as everyone else commented, I originally didn't want to go for all the obvious reasons. My friend bought me the movie ticket and popcorn. I'm glad nobody asked me "why haven't you been here?" but I was stunned to see that they were so happy to see me. Like, a couple of people told me that they had been thinking about me. Really, church has a nice, warm group of people, and that's great too, but I don't want to keep showing up knowing I've learned so much while I was absent. I don't see the point in it, I can't keep two ideas going in my head- it's enough to drive you insane, seriously. Then don't go back. You owe them nothing. You have zero obligation whatsoever to them, even if your friend bought you the ticket and the munchies. You can find a nice warm group of people elsewhere, meetup's a good bet for that. It probably wasn't the right time to start asking you why you haven't been at church for however long you've been out of there. They say they've been thinking about you, but what's stopping them from offering to hang out with you outside of church? I figure if someone can't be bothered to acknowledge your presence while they had the chance, then they deserve your absence. Were the people who told you they were thinking about you ever around while you were there? It doesn't sound like they were. And I've got a feeling that the nice warm fuzzies from the others there was another ploy to win you back. For what it's worth, the one I ran into at the farmer's market last month said the same thing before she told me all about how she and so-and-so were asking about me and how they MISS me. Naturally they were never around while I was there except for one time, and it was only because of happenstance. That's the way of it with churchies: it always comes too little, too late. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prometheus Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 I don't recommend going back. You'll only end up confusing yourself if you continue to be wishy-washy on the whole issue. Either go all the way and be a complete Christian, or don't go at all. You'll feel much happier once you choose a path and stick to it. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milesaway Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 ^Going off of that, the people at your old church know you don't wanna hurt anyone's feelings, and they will zero in on that wishy-washy demeanor. This is the time you need to be tough. Draw that line. Your mental and emotional well-being are at stake here. But, at the end of the day, it's entirely your call, and we are here for you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravenstar Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 A friend would want to celebrate YOUR birthday (even belatedly) in a way that honours you. If you'd like to see your friend ask them if you could go to a secular movie instead, or make a different dinner date because this makes you uncomfortable (or just say you would rather spend time with them doing something else - you really don't have to explain yourself to anyone) good luck!. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RenaissanceWoman Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 ...They say they've been thinking about you, but what's stopping them from offering to hang out with you outside of church?... My address and phone number are in the church directory, and everyone in the church office has my email address and will give it freely if asked. (I get some smaller emails from the women's group, for example, that also show my email on the cc list instead of the bcc list the main emails come from, so many people could my email address there too.) People give me the same "we miss you" line, but I always remind them that I'm in the directory. I love the awkward look on their faces. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted November 10, 2013 Super Moderator Share Posted November 10, 2013 but I was stunned to see that they were so happy to see me. Like, a couple of people told me that they had been thinking about me. Really, church has a nice, warm group of people, and that's great too, but I don't want to keep showing up knowing I've learned so much while I was absent. I don't see the point in it, I can't keep two ideas going in my head- it's enough to drive you insane, seriously. It has been my experience in life, with people in general, that upon seeing someone for the first time in a long time, they will always say things like, "I was just thinking about you the other day," "You know, myself and X were just talking about you," "I haven't seen you for a while, but I always wonder how you're doing." They say such things merely as ice-breakers; that doesn't mean that such statements are necessarily untrue, simply that they should be taken with a grain of salt, rather than at face value. That said, you should always remember that christians have an agenda and that their actions will always be motivated and informed by their agenda. If they act pleased to see you, ask yourself "why?" That said, I agree with so many of the others that at this stage in your deconversion, it would be best to avoid anything to do with church or religion. Find yourself some non-christian friends and ya'll go have a good time somewhere else. Like jesus said, "it's not the healthy who need a physician, but the sick." You are well on your way to recovery and health in terms of religion; why hang around the hospital anymore? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amateur Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 There was popcorn. That might have made it worthwhile. Now that you enjoyed the popcorn, I'd think it would be better to avoid going back again. If a friend wants to see you, you can suggest a neutral place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slave2six Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 Why do you feel like you owe it to anyone to go to a church movie? Would you ask this person to see a horror film that you know she would dislike? The request that was made to you fails the basics of common courtesy. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniterider Posted November 11, 2013 Share Posted November 11, 2013 So I'm back from the movie and I am still in one piece, and no, there wasn't an unexpected alter call at the end of the movie. Chrisstavrous, lol they showed Unconditional, a Christian film, starring Michael Ealy, whom I'm not exactly sure is a Christian or not, I don't know. Not sure if anyone's heard of him, but he appears in a lot of films with a predominantly black cast. It also stars Lynn Collins, whom I've never heard of, but in her Wikipedia bio it says, "Collins was raised in a "very, very religious" family of Southern Baptists, and has since explored several religious faiths, describing herself as a 'pretty spiritual person'"Maybe that's why she got the part, but who knows, who cares. I took the movie with a grain of salt, checking for obvious tropes, clichés and so forth. It was okay. However, it is based on true events; a guy who helps inner-city kids, the unconditional love that they need etc, and in the process helps the woman, Lynn Collins' character, see that "God is always reaching out for us" and all that. It made sense and wasn't preachy about its message. But as everyone else commented, I originally didn't want to go for all the obvious reasons. My friend bought me the movie ticket and popcorn. I'm glad nobody asked me "why haven't you been here?" but I was stunned to see that they were so happy to see me. Like, a couple of people told me that they had been thinking about me. Really, church has a nice, warm group of people, and that's great too, but I don't want to keep showing up knowing I've learned so much while I was absent. I don't see the point in it, I can't keep two ideas going in my head- it's enough to drive you insane, seriously. Tell them you haven't been to church because you no longer believe that Jesus is real, but merely a shared fictional character like Batman. See if they are still warm and nice once they are unable to bring you back into their club. See if any of them will hang out with you somewhere other than a religious establishment. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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