TheBluegrassSkeptic Posted November 14, 2013 Share Posted November 14, 2013 I hope this doesn't get too old. I know lately I have had a lot of issues with dealing with a more visible view of my father on the internets, and it has been a tough struggle balancing my own anger in order to not let it taint my relationship with my daughters. Recently, there was a little exercise in sharing that was looping around Facebook. The whole, if you comment on my posting of this list of things about me you don't know, I'll give you a number and then you have to list that many things about yourself. I participated amongst some friends for the hay of it, and so did my eldest daughter. She's 18, soon to be 19, and she is friends online with my father, and a couple other relatives I would deem questionable, but I leave it alone because I know she can handle herself. And she proved this true yet again later on in this little recount. So, I posted my own list of things. My eldest ended up doing the same on her own page as well. She clearly states as one of her personal facts that she is an atheist, still enjoys church services and is delving into other religions like Wicca and Buddhism. I think this is a wonderful affirmation of her openness to the world and empathy of others. I do not even go there on her status though. I just hit the like button and comment that her love of Mark Twain's home was cool, and she should see Jefferson's Monticello someday. I waited though. This dark, cynical little voice inside told me that somebody would make a comment directed straight at her atheism and nothing else. My beautiful daughter whose light shines brighter than any shadow in her path would have an asshole mar her beautiful little list of things that I think makes her so damn precious. I seriously would want to hurt a person that does that to her. It just makes my heart ache to have any of my children, so openly expressing themselves to be guilt tripped and battered by selfish idol worshiping freaks that claim to care about her and not focus on the wonderful things she listed about herself and what they mean. Well, it happened. No, it wasn't my father. It was a woman who had previously had her and my youngest daughter in her care for a time before they were adopted. She mentioned how she had read the whole list and admired her spirit, BUT.... Oh, I hate that in a sentence. It tells me the first smattering of words were just a false pretense in order to push a view. And that but was followed by the whole "don't forget your true Creator" bit, along with the typical we love and pray for you. And within seconds, there was a like on that statement from my daughter's grandmother. I get the general impression she is very nosey and seems to have a tendency to hijack a good feeling style post. My daughter could post how beautifully blue the sky is and the older woman will ask her if she is going to school. LOL, you know the type. I'm sure she means no real harm, but man, what a downer. So, I figure okay, at least it wasn't my dad, but I am dreading this. After a few hours, I notice my complimenting post is remaining, but the other guilt laden one is not. I didn't ask why it was gone, none of my business, but I would like to think she might have politely asked the former caregiver to not go there and respect her feelings. Or maybe the caregiver thought better of it after rereading what she left. Got a message from a family member, and this person said,"Looks like your dad is trying to passively condemn your daughter. He's been quiet the past month since the blood moon thing, but he had the nerve to start posting all this." And the postings are rather upsetting. I wouldn't doubt he posted them to his own wall knowing they would show up in her feed. This same source said I've been mentioned in conversation as well. I haven't known this family member to be a shit starter, and the heads up is appreciated, sort of. It just hurts to see this being waged against my own, you know? I just want to reach through the internet screen and replay all the horrible shit the man has done to so many people and show him his response (or lack there of in most cases). I'd thought maybe I would start posting scripts about hypocrisy. Post study quotes about sexual abusers. Etc. Just send general hints. I don't ask my daughter's reasoning for opting out of religion. They are personal and none of my business. How hard of a concept is this?? I don't get it. I'm looked on as less of a mother for having let my beautiful girls go to a new home, but if you had the environment around them like I did? You'd be a selfish asshole to not let them go and to not let them start shining, but instead being caught in the sticky strings of your personal life's tar pit. Sorry, I'm just venting more than anything. Maybe this should go in the rant section. I've thought of having a talk to her about what is happening, but I think she can handle herself. I mean, she didn't remove her statements. They are still loud and proud on her page. It could just be my inner 18 yr old living through her brightness I never got to explore. And god, my daughters are just so amazing. I don't want anything to ruin their determination or free thinking beauty. Guess I can't protect them forever, huh. It was something I knew would happen eventually, but hadn't faced the reality of. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seeker001 Posted November 14, 2013 Share Posted November 14, 2013 18 or not probably good to ask her how she doing just to check in. If she says fine great, but if no than maybe she could use a sympathetic ear to vent to. Either way up to you, you know your daughter better than I do. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
austere Posted November 14, 2013 Share Posted November 14, 2013 20 here, I agree. Even just tell her you love her and you're sorry about your dad, and ask her if she wants to talk. If she does, she will. Just let her know you're on her side. That's always nice to hear. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheBluegrassSkeptic Posted November 14, 2013 Author Share Posted November 14, 2013 That's what I ended up doing. I sent her a quick email acting all not overly concerned even though I am. LOL! She did in fact delete the comment from her former caregiver. Said that she doesn't throw her beliefs in their face, and doesn't feel they should do it to her. Sounds like she has zero issue standing up for herself. Such a relief. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amateur Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 That's what I ended up doing. I sent her a quick email acting all not overly concerned even though I am. LOL! She did in fact delete the comment from her former caregiver. Said that she doesn't throw her beliefs in their face, and doesn't feel they should do it to her. Sounds like she has zero issue standing up for herself. Such a relief. Good for her! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
austere Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Awesome! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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