I Keep Irrationally Thanking "god"

[FreeThinkerNZ]

At least a few times a day, when something good happens or I dodge something bad, I automatically feel grateful to the "god" I used to believe in.  (I only deconverted 6 weeks ago).  As soon as I have this thought, I correct myself and then feel annoyed that it happened yet again.  I really hope this habit will fade away over time. I guess I could do with some encouragement from anyone who has been through this. 

[Ousian]

I deconverted a while ago and I'm still in that phase between merely ex-Christian and complete atheism/agnosticism.  I tend to do the same thing, starting to thank god for something or begin a prayer while I'm laying in bed.  It still feels weird to eat a meal without praying first, after all this time.  It's definitely improving over time, however.  The best thing to do in my opinion is probably to limit your religious exposure as much as possible.  If you're constantly around people who pray/thank God/etc., it becomes much harder to break the habit. 

 

One somewhat positive way to look at the problem is to remind yourself that this habit is really nothing more than muscle memory.  You've essentially trained your brain to do something repeatedly for years (assuming you were a xtian for an extended period of time), and the body doesn't "unlearn" things easily.  Also, it will disappear with time.

[Guest MadameX]

Totally normal, and understandable.

 

Be gentle with yourself.

[MerryG]

Decades after deconverting, I still find myself using the phrases "Thank god" and "Thank heaven" in casual ways. They remain handy common expressions, as do related things like saying, "Bless you!" when somebody sneezes. Old habits definitely die hard.

 

I don't mean them any more and I should probably come up with some alternative, but I'm just lazy.

 

I still occasionally find myself wanting to pray, too. But each time I'm tempted to start, it's actually a good reminder than nobody's "on the other end of the connection."
 

[TheRedneckProfessor]

It takes time to un-train your mind from doing things that have become second nature to it.  It may help if you simply change the phrase slightly from "thank god" to "thank me".  After all, the good things that happen are usually the result of good choices you've made or good actions you've committed.

[buffettphan]

Same with me, even decades after deconverting.  I try to say "thank goodness" but sometimes "thank god" slips out.  It's just customary colloquialism. Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, so don't beat yourself up about it!

[Adam5]

  It may help if you simply change the phrase slightly from "thank god" to "thank me". 

 

Another way would be to "thank the universe".  Although this may sound a bit freaky and new age, at least we know the universe exists.

[mymistake]

Prayer is a habit.  I too did not know what to do when surprised by good news.  So I started finishing the sentences with Captain Kirk.  Praise Captain Kirk and his mighty star ship.  When I get anxiety I still feel the need to pray occasionally.  Praying to Captain Kirk calms my nerves as effectively as any prayer to Jesus.  Plus it makes me smile.

[MerryG]

Prayer is a habit.  I too did not know what to do when surprised by good news.  So I started finishing the sentences with Captain Kirk.  Praise Captain Kirk and his mighty star ship.  When I get anxiety I still feel the need to pray occasionally.  Praying to Captain Kirk calms my nerves as effectively as any prayer to Jesus.  Plus it makes me smile.

 

That's a hoot. And besides, given William Shatner's reputation for egotism, I'm sure he'd be thrilled to know you're praying to him.

 

Unless, of course, you're praying to that newer Captain Kirk from the recent movies, Chris Pine. In which case -- Blasphemer! Heretic! Worshipper of false idols! You'll be damned to hell for all eternity!!!

[xtify]

I still say oh my god, or OMG, even though I don't have one.  It's just an expression, I guess.  But it does seem silly to say.  

 

You could try saying "thank cod" instead... cod, who multiply the fishes and feed the fowl of the air... haha.  

[mymistake]

I still say oh my god, or OMG, even though I don't have one.  It's just an expression, I guess.  But it does seem silly to say.  

 

You could try saying "thank cod" instead... cod, who multiply the fishes and feed the fowl of the air... haha.  

 

 

My kids watch this show where they say "Oh my glob!".  I love it.  And for some reason the Chuck E. Cheese's commercials sound to me like Chucky Jesus.  I could pray to Chuck E. Cheese's.

 

Seriously, praying to things that can't answer really helped me.  Losing my keys was always a big prayer trigger for me.  I almost didn't know how to cope with losing my keys after leaving Christianity.  But Captain Kirk helped me realize that I when I leave my keys in my own house it's only a matter of time before I find them again.  No magic power is required.

[Roz]

I still say "oh my god" "god damn it" "oh lord" etc.

I really do like saying it now, because when I was a christian I always felt guilty after realizing I've said the lord's name in vain.

Now I see it as making a stand against christianity.

[♦ Fuego ♦]

I still say "god damn it!", but am trying to change that to "dang!" I still find Christian songs floating up in my mind because they have similar riffs as some jazz standards. It's been about 6.5 years for me.

[midniterider]

At least a few times a day, when something good happens or I dodge something bad, I automatically feel grateful to the "god" I used to believe in.  (I only deconverted 6 weeks ago).  As soon as I have this thought, I correct myself and then feel annoyed that it happened yet again.  I really hope this habit will fade away over time. I guess I could do with some encouragement from anyone who has been through this. 

 

My agnostic Mom and Dad used to say "Jesus Christ!" and "Goddammit" all the time. Now I say these things. I said them before, during and after Christianity. I still say them and most likely always will. I also say "Thank God." I also talk about Santa putting presents under the tree. My wife and I both speak on behalf of our dogs and cats. When someone says, "Hi, how are you." I usually say ,"Fine", whether I am or not.

 

Don't stress it. Christianity is about feeling bad about yourself. You're free of that now, right? :-)

 

The fundy ex didnt mind me saying fuck, but noooooo, don't say, "Goddammit." lol.

[midniterider]

Prayer is a habit.  I too did not know what to do when surprised by good news.  So I started finishing the sentences with Captain Kirk.  Praise Captain Kirk and his mighty star ship.  When I get anxiety I still feel the need to pray occasionally.  Praying to Captain Kirk calms my nerves as effectively as any prayer to Jesus.  Plus it makes me smile.

 

If anyone can get you through something, it's James T Kirk. He can always pull a Kobayashi Maru (sp) if it gets too dicey. Or slingshot around a star, go back in time and live those three days again, differently. :-)

[Guest afireinside]

I find myself saying thanks just before I eat but I have to check myself then thank MYSELF for pulling my tired arse out of bed in the morning, going to work and being able to operate machinery to earn money to buy food and pay electricity to cook it.

 

I think it's natural to have some lingering habits.

[FreeThinkerNZ]

Thanks everyone, and I enjoyed the humour.

 

It's not so much "thank god" as a throw away line, that doesn't bother me because I don't even notice that I'm referring to god when I say that.  Rather, it's when it's something important that I had no control over, like not getting cancer (so far) or the benefits of having my parents' warm comfortable home to live in while I recover from depression.  When I think of those things I say in my mind "I am so grateful for that, father" or "thank you so much for doing that, lord, you care for me so well" and then I feel bad because I know I have made a conscious choice not to accept the claims of theism and I feel like I am cheating myself out of the intellectual freedom and growth that came from that major life decision.

 

It's probably because I have depression that I am thinking so deeply about such things.  It's like I've created a whole new framework of cognitive dissonance to trouble myself with.  The guilt and fear that xianity causes has morphed into guilt and fear about not being a good enough athiest.  See how maddening this is... argh.

[Ellwood]

Before I came "out" I was still attending church as an apparent "believer" but actually had deconverted, I actually caught myself whispering a prayer - "oh god, Please help me make sure I don't slip and reveal that I don't believe in you anymore to anyone."   50 years of sincere believing takes a while to purge.

 

I have been "out" and pleased with the results now since Easter day of 2012.  BTW, I don't recommend coming out on Easter because EVERY Easter now my believing wife has a difficult time.

Hang in there, it takes time.  We all understand.

[sparklingphoenix]

I have the same problem, although I've only been deconverted  for about a month and a half.  Sometimes if I'm distressed I'll have thoughts like "God, please___." One of the most annoying things as I've seen others mention is fact that stupid Christian songs pop into my head and repeat themselves over and over. My church used to sing this song almost ever Sunday called "I am a friend of God." I always hated that song... I also have a hard time with "Thank God." Thanking inanimate objects or other silly things sounds like a great idea to try! I don't know if these things will ever go away, but hopefully in time the occurrences will be less frequent for us.

[violetbutterfly]

Thanks everyone, and I enjoyed the humour.

 

It's not so much "thank god" as a throw away line, that doesn't bother me because I don't even notice that I'm referring to god when I say that. Rather, it's when it's something important that I had no control over, like not getting cancer (so far) or the benefits of having my parents' warm comfortable home to live in while I recover from depression. When I think of those things I say in my mind "I am so grateful for that, father" or "thank you so much for doing that, lord, you care for me so well" and then I feel bad because I know I have made a conscious choice not to accept the claims of theism and I feel like I am cheating myself out of the intellectual freedom and growth that came from that major life decision.

 

It's probably because I have depression that I am thinking so deeply about such things. It's like I've created a whole new framework of cognitive dissonance to trouble myself with. The guilt and fear that xianity causes has morphed into guilt and fear about not being a good enough athiest. See how maddening this is... argh.

I can relate to this a lot. I am also very new at this.

[earthgypsy]

At least a few times a day, when something good happens or I dodge something bad, I automatically feel grateful to the "god" I used to believe in.  (I only deconverted 6 weeks ago).  As soon as I have this thought, I correct myself and then feel annoyed that it happened yet again.  I really hope this habit will fade away over time. I guess I could do with some encouragement from anyone who has been through this. 

 

I know what you mean!  I still give my thanks (10 months since deconverting)....I start to thank God but catch myself and say thank Goddess/nature/universe/life force/me   (whatever comes to mind).  Same thing at dinner, we (my family) are so used to giving thanks that again we thank universe, the chicken/cow/vegetables/the earth/mother earth/etc....I especially emphasize "goddess" since everything had been so male focused for so long (and I am surrounded by my three men - husband and two boys.  This is all done with humor, of course    

[FreeThinkerNZ]

Before I came "out" I was still attending church as an apparent "believer" but actually had deconverted, I actually caught myself whispering a prayer - "oh god, Please help me make sure I don't slip and reveal that I don't believe in you anymore to anyone."   50 years of sincere believing takes a while to purge.

 

I have been "out" and pleased with the results now since Easter day of 2012.  BTW, I don't recommend coming out on Easter because EVERY Easter now my believing wife has a difficult time.

 

Hang in there, it takes time.  We all understand.

Thank you, that's the kind of thing I was referring to. 

 

BTW, I have started a new thread here http://www.ex-christian.net/topic/61903-problem-in-deconversion-process/#.U0ygyqJw8-0

[xtify]

Thanks everyone, and I enjoyed the humour.

 

It's not so much "thank god" as a throw away line, that doesn't bother me because I don't even notice that I'm referring to god when I say that.  Rather, it's when it's something important that I had no control over, like not getting cancer (so far) or the benefits of having my parents' warm comfortable home to live in while I recover from depression.  When I think of those things I say in my mind "I am so grateful for that, father" or "thank you so much for doing that, lord, you care for me so well" and then I feel bad because I know I have made a conscious choice not to accept the claims of theism and I feel like I am cheating myself out of the intellectual freedom and growth that came from that major life decision.

 

It's probably because I have depression that I am thinking so deeply about such things.  It's like I've created a whole new framework of cognitive dissonance to trouble myself with.  The guilt and fear that xianity causes has morphed into guilt and fear about not being a good enough athiest.  See how maddening this is... argh.

 

FreeThinker, please don't feel guilty for having what you need.  Christianity makes us believe that having more earthly comforts means we are due less comforts in the end.  But the truth is that every living being strives for comfort and if/when you achieve it, you should enjoy it .  Feeling guilty will only hold you back from rehabilitating yourself and eventually contributing to society from your greater potential, as close to self-actualization as your circumstances can allow you.  Christianity is a pleasure limiting religion that will stop you from enjoying your life.  In life, the best circumstance you can achieve is to be comfortably driven by your own passions and find them profitable.  Christianity will give you a guilt complex whereby you cannot feel excitement from your passions without guilt, nor will you be able to experience success without giving praise to a master.  Now that you no longer believe, you can see that you are an individual... there is no one exactly like you.  The victories that you achieve in life are solely yours and  you deserve to feel the pleasure.  Crediting supernatural beings will only suck your power away. You did it!  Be thankful for the chance to achieve... not to a supernatural being for causing it to happen.... love2u.

[FreeThinkerNZ]

 

Thanks everyone, and I enjoyed the humour.

 

It's not so much "thank god" as a throw away line, that doesn't bother me because I don't even notice that I'm referring to god when I say that.  Rather, it's when it's something important that I had no control over, like not getting cancer (so far) or the benefits of having my parents' warm comfortable home to live in while I recover from depression.  When I think of those things I say in my mind "I am so grateful for that, father" or "thank you so much for doing that, lord, you care for me so well" and then I feel bad because I know I have made a conscious choice not to accept the claims of theism and I feel like I am cheating myself out of the intellectual freedom and growth that came from that major life decision.

 

It's probably because I have depression that I am thinking so deeply about such things.  It's like I've created a whole new framework of cognitive dissonance to trouble myself with.  The guilt and fear that xianity causes has morphed into guilt and fear about not being a good enough athiest.  See how maddening this is... argh.

 

FreeThinker, please don't feel guilty for having what you need.  Christianity makes us believe that having more earthly comforts means we are due less comforts in the end.  But the truth is that every living being strives for comfort and if/when you achieve it, you should enjoy it .  Feeling guilty will only hold you back from rehabilitating yourself and eventually contributing to society from your greater potential, as close to self-actualization as your circumstances can allow you.  Christianity is a pleasure limiting religion that will stop you from enjoying your life.  In life, the best circumstance you can achieve is to be comfortably driven by your own passions and find them profitable.  Christianity will give you a guilt complex whereby you cannot feel excitement from your passions without guilt, nor will you be able to experience success without giving praise to a master.  Now that you no longer believe, you can see that you are an individual... there is no one exactly like you.  The victories that you achieve in life are solely yours and  you deserve to feel the pleasure.  Crediting supernatural beings will only suck your power away. You did it!  Be thankful for the chance to achieve... not to a supernatural being for causing it to happen.... love2u.

 

Thanks xtify.  Right back atcha.

[Voice]

Think of it as humor/sarcasm.