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Working my way through Bart Ehrman's Lost Christianities.

 

He really does a good job of re-framing some of the ways that we think about Christianity-- in its many thousands of forms.  Human minds seem to be such that they can "normalize" crazy religious ideas so they no longer seem as outlandish as they are.  Sure, Gnostics, Marcionites, Ebionites, and the rest were Christians with some crazy ideas-- but they are no more crazy (and sometimes less crazy actually) then the "normal" types of Trinitarian Christianities that we know today.  Of course, they thought that the early orthodox groups were the crazy ones....

 

Many types of Christians have really have believed that they were eating a human body and drinking blood.  Many Christians have actually accepted God's human sacrifice as something beautiful and normal.  Many Christians have believed that having water put on them in some way saved them from being eternally tortured.  Or that starving oneself by fasting would impress God.  Or that they could speak an unknown language.  Or that they could bark like a dog and "tree" the devil.  Anyone heard of "money baptism"?  Or seen Benny Hinn get people "slain in the Spirit"?  Many have believed that God was against medicine or technology.  Or that God was against birth control.  Or that you could be damned for believing that the Holy Spirit proceeded from the Father and the Son (instead of just the Father only).  Or that "wine" in the eucharist was sinfully thought to be alcoholic for centuries-- when grape juice was really what God wanted.  Or that God would be offended if you used leaved vs unleaved bread in the eucharist.  Early Christians were often baptized naked (no joke-- Ehrman mentions it and I have read it a least a couple places before)...

 

What's your favorite crazy Christian belief??

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The Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod claiming the Pope is the Anti-Christ is up there. And I don't mean just recently they believed this. They've believed it for at least 60 years now and still do.

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That the winged locusts in Revelation are actually Apache helicopters - John just didn't know how else to describe Apache's shooting hellfire missles at demons. 

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You named a bunch of them, but the "holy laughter" comes to mind right away. Our church caught the "Toronto Blessing" back in the 90s and people were getting slain in the spirit left and right. It seemed like this one lady would get "holy laughter" EVERY SINGLE SERVICE and would sit in the back of the church laughing her ass off the entire time. I remember even as a kid thinking that something was messed up about it. I wondered if she was just doing it to see if anyone would stop her... no one ever did.

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I don't see what makes naked baptism "crazy". How nudity is viewed varies strongly from culture to culture. The fact that anglosaxon culture is famously stuck up about nudity doesn't make nudity, per se, a crazy thing.

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You named a bunch of them, but the "holy laughter" comes to mind right away. Our church caught the "Toronto Blessing" back in the 90s and people were getting slain in the spirit left and right. It seemed like this one lady would get "holy laughter" EVERY SINGLE SERVICE and would sit in the back of the church laughing her ass off the entire time. I remember even as a kid thinking that something was messed up about it. I wondered if she was just doing it to see if anyone would stop her... no one ever did.

 

Maybe she had deconverted and was laughing at the constant bullshit?  :grin:  

 

For me, I would have been slain with the "holy slumber" every week.  lol!

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I was reading "The Brick Bible" to my son just yesterday and trying to explain how the trinity worked during jesus' conception and birth.  Here's the best explanation I could provide:  jesus, who was his own father, became a ghost in order to place a baby, which was himself, into his mommy's belly. 

 

He's still confused about it...

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I don't see what makes naked baptism "crazy". How nudity is viewed varies strongly from culture to culture. The fact that anglosaxon culture is famously stuck up about nudity doesn't make nudity, per se, a crazy thing.

 Reminds me of the Sam Harris deal about how people would think that talking to God through a hairdryer would be crazy-- and that he didn't see how the addition of the hairdryer changed anything...

 

Perhaps it just goes to the general discussion of diversity.  I would think that every group of "orthodox" Christians today would find such a thing scandalous-- whereas in another place at another time it was the thing to do...

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I was reading "The Brick Bible" to my son just yesterday and trying to explain how the trinity worked during jesus' conception and birth.  Here's the best explanation I could provide:  jesus, who was his own father, became a ghost in order to place a baby, which was himself, into his mommy's belly. 

 

He's still confused about it...

 

Perhaps what's more amazing is that so many adults act like it's not confusing...

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You named a bunch of them, but the "holy laughter" comes to mind right away. Our church caught the "Toronto Blessing" back in the 90s and people were getting slain in the spirit left and right. It seemed like this one lady would get "holy laughter" EVERY SINGLE SERVICE and would sit in the back of the church laughing her ass off the entire time. I remember even as a kid thinking that something was messed up about it. I wondered if she was just doing it to see if anyone would stop her... no one ever did.

 

My mom was really into charismatic stuff when I was a kid.  I got the guilt trip and the "gift" of tongues.  (Maybe I should start pulling it out as a party trick?)

 

I also got prophesied over by some old lady.  It didn't strike me as odd at the time, but someone later (when reading a transcript of it) remarked how it was strange that she spoke in King James Version English when she was prophesying...

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The Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod claiming the Pope is the Anti-Christ is up there. And I don't mean just recently they believed this. They've believed it for at least 60 years now and still do.

 

Are these the same guys who thought that they were the only true Church for some time?

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I was reading "The Brick Bible" to my son just yesterday and trying to explain how the trinity worked during jesus' conception and birth.  Here's the best explanation I could provide:  jesus, who was his own father, became a ghost in order to place a baby, which was himself, into his mommy's belly. 

 

He's still confused about it...

 

Perhaps what's more amazing is that so many adults act like it's not confusing...

 

Ain't that the truth?  I was getting myself confused trying to keep track of which one actually impregnated her.

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Catholics are crazianities with their fetishes

Prosperity gospel church are craziniates for making gods their atm machine and slave

Wbc are craziniates because they are too focus n homopobhic sins

Saturday sabath practicers are craziniates because they believe that antichrist will force them to go to church n sunday

 

And don't forget the christian syndromes: being persecuted (without really being persecuted), evangelism, and martyrdom

 

 

In short : Fundies are crazianites because well they are crazy

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The Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod claiming the Pope is the Anti-Christ is up there. And I don't mean just recently they believed this. They've believed it for at least 60 years now and still do.

 

Are these the same guys who thought that they were the only true Church for some time?

 

 

I was WELS for the first 24 years of my life, while they never said it from what I remember, there was a heavy undercurrent that suggested it. There will be others in heaven but they just got lucky their church taught them the bare minimum of what they needed. The city I grew up in had a conference of all of the ministers at all of the churches in town and the WELS refused to even acknowledge it. We hear stories on here how while inside their Christian bubble people had no clue there were other atheists out there. I was the opposite. Inside my bubble I had no clue almost every other person I came across (Wisconsin) was really a Christian. 

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There was a serious discussion in the church I attended that involved organ donation.  There were those who were 100% opposed to it because "when the final judgment comes, how will god be able to find our kidneys if they're in different people?  How will we rise whole from the earth?"

 

They were quite vehement.

 

I listened quietly and was amazed at the stupid being displayed.

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There was a serious discussion in the church I attended that involved organ donation.  There were those who were 100% opposed to it because "when the final judgment comes, how will god be able to find our kidneys if they're in different people?  How will we rise whole from the earth?"

 

They were quite vehement.

 

I listened quietly and was amazed at the stupid being displayed.

so the almighty omniscience god cannot know whose kidneys on who?

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That reminds me about the argument against cremation.  I guess god can create us from dirt, but he can't put us back together again from ashes?    

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A few more....

 

  • According to historian Owen Chadwick... “The discovery of chocolate forced the theologians to determine whether, for the rules of fasting, it was a food or a liquid; but soon it was suspected of being inimical to chastity, and at last its consumption by some religious orders was forbidden.” 
  • St. James, son of Zebedee and brother of John, is described in the Book of Acts as being beheaded.  In Christian Spain, he became known as Matamoros (“the Moor Slayer”) and was said to have personally killed thousands of Moors/Muslims on the battlefield.   http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_James_Matamoros 
  • I read this about St. Catherine of Siena...  “Fourteenth-century Saint Catherine of Siena, an anorexic who, as long as her strength permitted it, flagellated herself with iron chains three times a day for one and a half hours each time” 
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The Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod claiming the Pope is the Anti-Christ is up there. And I don't mean just recently they believed this. They've believed it for at least 60 years now and still do.

 

Are these the same guys who thought that they were the only true Church for some time?

 

 

I was WELS for the first 24 years of my life, while they never said it from what I remember, there was a heavy undercurrent that suggested it. There will be others in heaven but they just got lucky their church taught them the bare minimum of what they needed. The city I grew up in had a conference of all of the ministers at all of the churches in town and the WELS refused to even acknowledge it. We hear stories on here how while inside their Christian bubble people had no clue there were other atheists out there. I was the opposite. Inside my bubble I had no clue almost every other person I came across (Wisconsin) was really a Christian. 

 

Very interesting!  I remember years ago hearing something on the radio about a convert from Lutheranism to Catholicism whose denomination had this perspective (his grandmother was concerned that he was leaving THE Church)...

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What about the urban legend that a church actually split up because of an argument over whether Adam had a belly button or not?

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