FreeThinkerNZ Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 a very sad part of the journey To DECONVERSION. I'm going to relapse today. *hovers* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orbit Posted August 30, 2014 Author Share Posted August 30, 2014 a very sad part of the journey To DECONVERSION. I'm going to relapse today. *hovers* too late. he did relapse, but is sober today... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrayskullWarrior Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 My wife and I both de-converted about a month and a half ago. Since then, we've been exploring online resources (like ex-C) and doing some relevant reading. Earlier today we attended our first meeting of our local Recovering From Religion chapter. We continue to discuss with each other why we've made the decision to de-convert and struggle with how to move forward (telling family members and friends, what do we say when someone asks us about our beliefs). We're both thankful that we made the decision to de-convert together and that we have each other for support. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orbit Posted August 31, 2014 Author Share Posted August 31, 2014 My wife and I both de-converted about a month and a half ago. Since then, we've been exploring online resources (like ex-C) and doing some relevant reading. Earlier today we attended our first meeting of our local Recovering From Religion chapter. We continue to discuss with each other why we've made the decision to de-convert and struggle with how to move forward (telling family members and friends, what do we say when someone asks us about our beliefs). We're both thankful that we made the decision to de-convert together and that we have each other for support. Welcome to ex-C! It sounds like you've got a good support system in place, I'm glad to hear it. :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrayskullWarrior Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 My wife and I both de-converted about a month and a half ago. Since then, we've been exploring online resources (like ex-C) and doing some relevant reading. Earlier today we attended our first meeting of our local Recovering From Religion chapter. We continue to discuss with each other why we've made the decision to de-convert and struggle with how to move forward (telling family members and friends, what do we say when someone asks us about our beliefs). We're both thankful that we made the decision to de-convert together and that we have each other for support. Welcome to ex-C! It sounds like you've got a good support system in place, I'm glad to hear it. :-) Much appreciated! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Discern Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 Where are you in your deconversion journey? What stages did you go through? Well I'm coming up on 4 years of deconversion this Christmas. And btw, Christmas is still my favourite time of the year haha I quickly went from rejecting the Bible god to rejecting all gods. That happened probably within the first month. For a couple years or so I fully agreed with the 'new atheists' (Dawkins, Harris, etc) that all religion is bad and needs to go extinct. But recently I'm realizing that some people seem to need religion. Like on a genetic level or something. It's like there are some people that either cannot comprehend a non-spiritual existence and insist there must be a god no matter what, or there's those who cannot function morally in society without the motivation of a deity watching their every move. What's worse: an antisocial teenager with constant drug and alcohol problems destined to be a pain in society's ass for the next 20 years, or the same teen that has a conversion experience that breaks his addictions, he gets a job, gets a wife and raises a family in church? These are the types of people that made up a large portion of the members of my old fundamentalist church. They were alcoholics, drug addicts, people at the end of their rope. Most were not university-types, and I never once met an actual scientist that become born again. They had a 'spiritual' conversion experience that jolted their mind and they got their act together. In the scheme of things, I see it as the lesser of two evils. The secular world's solutions cannot compete with the power of the god delusion when it comes to putting people on the straight and narrow. I remember what an agnostic ex-police officer said to me once. He said the people that caused the least amount of problems while he was on the job were the dedicated christians and muslims. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orbit Posted August 31, 2014 Author Share Posted August 31, 2014 Where are you in your deconversion journey? What stages did you go through? Well I'm coming up on 4 years of deconversion this Christmas. And btw, Christmas is still my favourite time of the year haha I quickly went from rejecting the Bible god to rejecting all gods. That happened probably within the first month. For a couple years or so I fully agreed with the 'new atheists' (Dawkins, Harris, etc) that all religion is bad and needs to go extinct. But recently I'm realizing that some people seem to need religion. Like on a genetic level or something. It's like there are some people that either cannot comprehend a non-spiritual existence and insist there must be a god no matter what, or there's those who cannot function morally in society without the motivation of a deity watching their every move. What's worse: an antisocial teenager with constant drug and alcohol problems destined to be a pain in society's ass for the next 20 years, or the same teen that has a conversion experience that breaks his addictions, he gets a job, gets a wife and raises a family in church? These are the types of people that made up a large portion of the members of my old fundamentalist church. They were alcoholics, drug addicts, people at the end of their rope. Most were not university-types, and I never once met an actual scientist that become born again. They had a 'spiritual' conversion experience that jolted their mind and they got their act together. In the scheme of things, I see it as the lesser of two evils. The secular world's solutions cannot compete with the power of the god delusion when it comes to putting people on the straight and narrow. I remember what an agnostic ex-police officer said to me once. He said the people that caused the least amount of problems while he was on the job were the dedicated christians and muslims. I see what you're saying. The problem for me comes when the uneducated fundamentalists start trying to put their beliefs into law, and try to destroy the separation of church and state. That is a real and present danger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geezer Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 I feel fortunate that I have reached the stage where I can honestly say religion is no longer relevant in my life. I have not been to church in a very long time now and I don't think I could even force myself to go to a religious service again. The last time I attended a chuch service I walked out during the service. I realized I simply could not listen to that nonsense any more. I'm not really active here anymore either, no reason other than the fact religion in any form no longer interest me. Every once in awhile I will log on here and read a few posts.I assumed nostalgia has something to do with that. Leaving your religion is difficult maybe one of the most difficult things a born again believer will ever do, but you will never experience true freedom, and real happiness, until you do. The final stage probaby has a lot to do with letting go of the anger and just simply moving on with your life. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellinas Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 Where I am now - I am someone for whom Christianity is irrelevant at a personal level (of course, the marriage/family issue still intrudes). I think, in one sense, my deconversion was quite quick, in the sense that, when I realized I had to move away from Christianity, I did so fairly rapidly albeit with a relapse due to fear of "satanism". In another sense, it was long drawn out over several years, as I became increasingly disillusioned with the fundamentalist mindset. I became angry at the blindness of those around me living as if nothing existed outside of their little church and prejudices, and decrying all that went on around them without the least sliver of understanding. I refused to stop thinking. That was why I could never, ultimately, maintain Christian belief. However, I've never been persuaded by atheism - hence my eventual move to a sort of homegrown pagan philosophy. That took some time to formulate (I would guess a couple of years; it remains subject to modification) and I've never pretended that it is anything more than a purely personal outlook. It was during the formulation of this that the nagging insistence that anything that was not the Christian god was of the devil effectively held me up for some time and caused me to try to revert to Christian belief at one stage. That reversion did not survive long - I just kept reminding myself of the nonsense of the doctrines that I had to hold to be true. Today, i would say that I'm comfortable with where I am, tolerant of wherever anybody else finds themselves (provided they don't try to convert me to their way of thinking) and happy to seek to help anyone I come across who is trying to free themselves of the Christian morass. It's just a pity that family circumstances mean I have to do that unobtrusively. And it is the "comfortable with where I am" bit that I regard as the most important. Without that, I could not see myself as "deconverted". Equally, I am able to view my position as ultimately relevant only to me. I would not expect anyone else to be comfortable with it - we each have to find our own philosophy and outlook that allows us say that we are "comfortable". That can be difficult as we all practically come from a religious background and live in a society that tends to emphasize norms of belief and behaviour 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparklingphoenix Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 I became atheist last February. Now my brother and some of my close friends know, but the rest of my family and one of my closest friends don't know. I finally got the courage to tell my mom about my boyfriend, who isn't christian, but now I have to figure out a way to tell my grandparents about him. My fear has been that when I tell them about my boyfriend then they may start questioning my faith. I don't really want to come out to my grandparents unless it's absolutely necessary given their age. My mom took my car to get the oil changed recently and found a book in my car, "The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins. She moved it to my trunk because she had the interior of my car cleaned. She didn't say anything to me about it so I didn't mention it either. I accidentally left an atheist pamphlet for a secular club at my school on the floor in my apartment and I'm not sure if she saw it or not. We had dinner together last night and we were talking about my boyfriend and how I would tell my grandparents about him. She was indirectly inquiring about how important my faith was to me and if we had children what would I do? I said I would expose them to both cultures and let them decide what they think. I've been really trying to be careful of how I respond to her questions and topics of conversation but I may have already given myself away. D: 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milesaway Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 I'd say my deconversion's come full circle. I've closed the book on that rotten chapter of my life. I've decided not to have religion or spirituality as a part of my life anymore, so I'm pretty much back where I was before my honeymoon with christendom, but a whole lot wiser for it. The only difference was that I was more agnostic back then, and had no idea just how toxic xtianity really was. I'd written off my first time at church back in 8th grade as something specific to THAT church, they couldn't be all like that, could they? After I left the last church I had been attending for roughly 2 years, I felt completely adrift, but oddly enough, I felt a huge weight being lifted off my shoulders. The phone calls to try to win me back didn't start until a month after I left, and by then it was too little, too late. I knew if I went back, they'd play nice for a little while, then they'd drop the act and start treating me like garbage again. The damage was done. I'd given them way more chances than they deserved, and they blew them all and threw it in my face. Had they not destroyed my faith beyond recognition, I'd have probably tried a couple other denominations. But it would have been the same story, it would only have been a matter of time before the shit hit the fan there. I haven't run into anyone from the churches for awhile, not since I saw Tom at the bus station. Fine by me. None of them would be caught dead at the places I go to anyway. They're all too good for that, even if their lives weren't consumed by all things church all the time. None of the friends I thought I made during my time in church are in my life anymore. And that's fine too. It's actually a gain in the scheme of things anyways. After I left church, I started hanging out at the new age shop location that used to be in my old neighborhood. It's since closed, and the main location's still where it's always been since it opened, maybe it was a way to debrief from all that I'd been fed at the churches. I knew it was all superstition in the end, and now I take anything supernatural with a grain of salt. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aries256 Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 Fully 100% deconverted and anti abrahamic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neverlandrut Posted September 3, 2014 Share Posted September 3, 2014 I'm comfortable calling myself an atheist. I simply do not believe there is a god due to lack of evidence, evidence I would highly expect if the god I was taught was real. Realizing the bible is indeed not inerrant was what pushed me over the edge. I already knew there was no logical argument that can establish the existence of a god, let a alone my particular Christian god. I just took it on faith. Now, I'm out to my wife and my side of the family as well as a few church friends. All is well with that now that the dust has settled. Nothing has really changed. I am not out to my wife's family, and neither of us wants me to be. My mother in law and her family would freak!! Big time fundies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tzarza Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 I haven't read the whole thread, but I'll respond to the original post. I decided sometime after my deconversion (which I consider the moment that I knew Christianity wasn't real anymore, and the efforts i made to come out), that I wouldn't be over Christianity until I didn't care about it anymore. It's taken me longer to get over Christianity than it did to deconvert. But I only rarely cruise this website now, and don't react terribly strongly to religions/beliefs in general unless some news article tells a story where the punchline is "these people did a stupid thing because of x religion". I just want to leave it all behind. I don't want it to have any hold on me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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