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Guest mj's damaged

Curious? What makes truth the truth and a lie a lie? Why are so many people willing to base their beliefs on something they believe is true? I once heard a xian say and I believe Paul said it as well. If we are wrong then we have lost nothing. Really? I think about all that I lost when I was believing the lie (god). I lost time, I lost my self esteem. I lost so much more. What have you lost due to xianity? Lost meaning, you will never get it back.

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Hmm... my first sexual experience was ruined.

I lost a lot of money and time.

I won't ever be able to look at Christianity with the same respect I do other religions.

I lost self esteem.

I have a warped view on life because I still imagine in the back of my mind that "all things happen for a reason" and "God works things out for you". It prevents me frrom sometimes taking full responsibility and control of my life. (I am working on this one.)

 

With time, however, I don't think that Christianity will have a hold over me in any area of my life. The process is hard, but I realize as time goes on that I really do have control over myself and my own worldview. It just takes a lot of time to realize where I have been programmed and even more time to figure out how to undo the damage.

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I agree. I spent 12 years in a damaging, fruitless, virtually sex-free marriage because the Christian guilt glue was keeping me and the missis together. That's probably my greatest gripe about my time as a sheep - the large proportion of my tiny limited lifespan spent honouring something which turns out to be, not to put too fine a point on it, a bunch of monkey piss.

:blink:

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I never got a hold of my financial life and planning my future correctly, just because I thought (believed) that Jesus would fix things. I didn't take responsibility for things I did today that affected my tomorrow, since I thought Jesus would come back tomorrow, and nothing really mattered anyway.

 

Now, 30 years too late, I have to try to fix things that should have been in place 30 years ago.

 

Certain decisions would have been different if I had known that there is no God that protects my family when you pray.

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1. I converted 27 people in my time as a christian. They, as far as I know, Are all still christians. And I'm not... I don't even think I've seen any of them since I deconverted.

2. The Bible and my over-active imagination got me to "prophesize" a demon war in 2006, (OMG THATS NOW!) That scared the shit out of all my fanatical friends.

3. I had extremely low self esteem.

4. The only thing that kept me believing in my last year was the thought of, "if I'm right I go to heaven, if not it doesn't matter." So i merely believed out of convienence.

 

When I found Buddhism, I found an anti-Dogma, non-theistic (unless you want to believe, then it doesn't interfere anyway) and anti-notion faith. At first I called myself a christian Buddhist until I abandoned Christianity intirely, Thanks to the help of my Mentor and friend Mike. At first I loved talking about my new faith with all my old friends and some new ones, until I noticed how offended they seemed to be. I knew the only reason they weren't biting my head off was because they still respected me. Then they started pushing back. To make a long story short, They denied me the right to express myself because it went against their beliefs. I was removed from entire Households because of my differing views. Things have cooled down and with help from Exchristians.net which has helped me to understand my foe better and share my views with people who respect me and understand me, I think I can say I'm a better person today.

 

Peace,

BC

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Lemme see.

 

1. My self-esteem was put on a yo-yo string. Extreme high to extreme low. I'm still balancing it out. Even now when I feel super-kickass, on the heels of that feeling is a deep worry that I've crossed some "line" into unsexy unattractive vanity and ego. Which makes me freak and suddenly worry about the opinion of others....until I snap to and get pissed at myself for giving a crap about anyone's opinion, and then I feel super-kickass......and thus repeats the cycle.

 

2. Exposing my (unknown to me at the time) deeply emotionally unstable best friend in high school to my church and youth group. He re-wrote the bible. Filled in the spaces above the verses with tons of notes pointing out (to his way of thinking) the bible itself justified that he didn't belong in the world. He killed himself. His re-written bible, which no one knew about (not even me), was found close by. Now, as an adult, I know that I was not responsible for my best friend's death. I didn't pull that trigger. And if it hadn't been religion, it might have been something else he'd grasped onto emotionally to help justify his suicide. But I still wonder what might have been if I'd invited him to join Chess Club instead of my church group.

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Guest mj's damaged

It seems that it has been a long hard roller coaster ride that we've been on. I am glad that each one of us had the opportunity to to get off. I am also happy that now we can glance at our old way of living and know that today is for us!

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"If we are wrong then we have lost nothing"

 

Oh, I don't agree with that one at all. It cost A LOT.

 

1. Like someone had mentioned, my first sexual encounter was also ruined. Also, the first years of my marriage, I had a HUGE problem with feeling guilty when I had sex, because I was always taught it was bad. When you are actually "allowed" to do it, that stays with you, believe me. I can say now that I am free of that bondage.

2. I started to act mental, meaning, seeing things that were not there and then to boot, yelling and screaming at them like I had authority over them. I also became an anointing oil freak...oh yeah, like territorial pissings, I would leave that shit everywhere to "bless" the house or "bless" the church.

3. Really REALLY hurt a lot of people. This is one of the ones that I regret the most. I was a pure asshole to MANY people all in the name of christ. After all, come out from amoung them and be ye separate, right? Not only friends, but family members as well. It was as if "I am a christian so my shit don't stink" type thing. If they did not believe how I did, I would simply give them the big ol' "X" and turn away from them and not speak to them. Then, the friends that did stick around and try the christian lifestyle, I felt the need to look over them to make sure they were doing what they were suppose to be doing... like a freakin watch dog. I was really hard on people and that is something I have to live with the rest of my life. If any that I did this to happen to read this, I am deeply sorry.

4. Countless hours spent at the church, giving up time with my immediate family that I can not get back.

5. Money flushed down the religious crapper, never to be seen again.

6. All the music cds and cassettes we got rid of (ones I wished I had now!!!) that were marked as demonic.

7. I feel as if I lost my young adult years. I got "saved" at 17, and it took until I was 29 to get out of it. I never got to go out and do anything the young adults were doing.

8. My first years of marriage was a nightmare because I was like the spiritual police with my husband. It is amazing we are still together today! Every issue was a spiritual one..... always felt that he did not have it together like I did.... (you know that ego thing you develop) and I was constantly on his ass.

9. You become the judge and the jury.... oh yes, I know that I know that I know you gonna burn!!! God, I could just slap myself for being like that. I would judge everyone and not even blink.

10. Self esteem, yeah ok...I am a worm, no good sinner, worthy of hell...gee, no reason to be depressed is there???? Any accomplishment that I achieved was alllllllll god and not me. So not only was I a worm, no good, worthless wretch, I could not acomplish anything with out god. Boy, I really felt like I amounted to a lot in life! The ego trip that I was on was because I felt that god was in me.... see, he made me special, without him I was nothing.

 

One thing that really disgusted me when I first walked away was the feeling of being betrayed and lied to. I felt sooooo cheated. I can not even put it into words. I devoted my entire life to this and then just to find out it was nothing but a fairytale. Talk about reality slapping you in the face.

But you know, I have no regrets of walking away. I believe it has made me a better person....... by far! I can actually relax and enjoy life instead of constantly having to worry about affending some superior nut case that is ready to use me for a batch of smores. I actually take the time to get to know people for who they are, which is something that is quite refreshing.

But for anyone to believe that living the christian lifestyle costs you nothing, it costs you dear...it costs you everything and could cost you everyone.

 

It seems that it has been a long hard roller coaster ride that we've been on. I am glad that each one of us had the opportunity to to get off. I am also happy that now we can glance at our old way of living and know that today is for us!

 

Roller coaster is exactly it too. I am also glad that we all got off the ride.....cause all roller coasters do is go in circles....you get no where.

One thing for sure, we can look back, view all the errors that we have made, and try to be a better person. If we can only look back with an upset stomach, that is no good (even though the experience was not good)....make it a learning and growing experience. That is what I am trying to do. :)

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I think the truth is silent and can be felt. I felt it when I lied to my grandmother when she was alive and in a home. She had Alzheimers and would see a lady standing on a table outside of her window. She would ask me if I saw her and I said yes grandma, I see her. I wonder who she is? There was no lady there but I knew it was right to enter into her world. Although I couldn't see anyone, see could. It was the truth and I felt it.

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I think the truth is silent and can be felt. I felt it when I lied to my grandmother when she was alive and in a home. She had Alzheimers and would see a lady standing on a table outside of her window. She would ask me if I saw her and I said yes grandma, I see her. I wonder who she is? There was no lady there but I knew it was right to enter into her world. Although I couldn't see anyone, see could. It was the truth and I felt it.

 

Truth is the harder of the two, because even stuff that we think is true now, is often just our best hypothesis based on current standards & knowledge.

 

Lying is easy, it's anything that is claimed to be something other than what it really is.

 

And Christianity sure has a whole bunch of that (most of it in the active denial format when it comes to it's parishioners).

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There's not a thing that you gave to God that he would not have rewarded you for, if you stayed on the path.

 

So, you're saying that everyone would've had their wishes granted by the Magic Sky Daddy if they had just remained Xian a little longer? Bullshit.

 

As for me, all I lost was time. The only time I began to have self-esteem problems was at the tail end, after my breakup and looking at myself as some evil thing whom no one could love. Not even Gawd, because I had no desire to practice Xianity's rituals nor moral precepts, hence I was destined for hell.

 

But I escaped before the bad shit could've happened to me, thankfully. I just wish others were so lucky.

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Curious? What makes truth the truth and a lie a lie? Why are so many people willing to base their beliefs on something they believe is true? I once heard a xian say and I believe Paul said it as well. If we are wrong then we have lost nothing. Really? I think about all that I lost when I was believing the lie (god). I lost time, I lost my self esteem. I lost so much more. What have you lost due to xianity? Lost meaning, you will never get it back.

 

Like many others, money and time.

Money, in that I strongly supported tithing, and would often give more than 10% of my gross income. And then give special offerings on top of that? I had no savings to speak of...maybe a few hundred in savings. No investments, why build up for this world?

Time, in that I wasted 14 years spending large chunks of my time in attending service, teaching class, volunteering for numerous projects, praying, reading the Bible repeatedly, etc.

And then I feel like I've lost a part of myself, or at least of what I could have been. If not for Christianity, I would have been a totally different person. Who knows what I could have done, where I could be, how I could be living? :vent:

That's where I am at now; rewritting my life. It's like starting over.

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Yeah, maybe you could have been in jail.

 

Not sure what you're getting at with that one, but lots of non-xians avoid jail just fine without Jesus™.

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There's not a thing that you gave to God that he would not have rewarded you for, if you stayed on the path.

That's what you believe, but not a fact. People gave their whole lifes to Jesus, lived in poverty, sickness, pain and died without getting any "reward". The reward was that they died. Then of course you say "they went to heaven", but that's just an assumption, not a fact. 'Cause even if the religion is true, you can't for sure say these people were "true Christians". We get that argument all the time that a majority of Christians are not true. So who knows. Maybe these devout humans died for nothing.

 

Yeah, maybe you could have been in jail.

Eh? Are you saying being an atheist equals being a criminal?

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There's not a thing that you gave to God that he would not have rewarded you for, if you stayed on the path.

 

 

It is too bad we only have your word on that. Years ago when I too walked along that straight and narrow path; I noticed that all the signs indicating the destination were manmade.

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Guest mj's damaged

There's not a thing that you gave to God that he would not have rewarded you for, if you stayed on the path.

That's what you believe, but not a fact. People gave their whole lifes to Jesus, lived in poverty, sickness, pain and died without getting any "reward". The reward was that they died. Then of course you say "they went to heaven", but that's just an assumption, not a fact. 'Cause even if the religion is true, you can't for sure say these people were "true Christians". We get that argument all the time that a majority of Christians are not true. So who knows. Maybe these devout humans died for nothing.

 

Yeah, maybe you could have been in jail.

Eh? Are you saying being an atheist equals being a criminal?

 

OMG. Are you serious? You really think that we should be in jail? You really think that since we don't believe in your ALMIGHTY, that we are sinners, that all of us are criminals we should rot in jail?

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Yeah, maybe you could have been in jail.

 

Not sure what you're getting at with that one, but lots of non-xians avoid jail just fine without Jesus™.

 

 

Yeah, I will let you know when I can make parole.... lol NOT

I am with you Wolfheart, I never been in trouble with the law and I am certainly not about to try it out now!

 

As far as the other quote......(if I understand you correctly)....Please! Just because someone does not believe in Jesus, does not make the the next candidate to knock of a bank! There are good and bad people whether they are religious or not.

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Yeah, maybe you could have been in jail.

 

:phew::nono:

 

sings to self

 

just keep swiming just keep swiming

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Yeah, maybe you could have been in jail.

Wow those where some strong words. I see the wickedness of my atheist ways. NOT! I have never been in jail and im atheist, and I can give you many examples of christians doing evil stuff.

Nazis (im not saying all christians r nazis im showing examples of evil christians) Most were christian and believed they were doing Gawds work.

That mother who cut of her babys legs "for Gawd"

and more ill try to find a good link

*these r a ref from elseware but i couldn't find the links or where they were from so who ever made em...props to ya*

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There's not a thing that you gave to God that he would not have rewarded you for, if you stayed on the path.

 

You do not know this. You are either deluded, arrogant, a liar, or all of them.

 

Try thinking about and UNDERSTANDING the things people have told you above in this thread.

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Curious? What makes truth the truth and a lie a lie? Why are so many people willing to base their beliefs on something they believe is true?

"Truth" is what serves us best. "Lie" is what doesn't. Good=Truth, Bad=Lie. God=Good, Evil=Bad. "Truth" is a mythology. "God" is "Truth".

 

(sorry, just processing out loud there :twitch: )

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Yeah, maybe you could have been in jail.

Wow those where some strong words. I see the wickedness of my atheist ways. NOT! I have never been in jail and im atheist, and I can give you many examples of christians doing evil stuff.

Nazis (im not saying all christians r nazis im showing examples of evil christians) Most were christian and believed they were doing Gawds work.

That mother who cut of her babys legs "for Gawd"

and more ill try to find a good link

*these r a ref from elseware but i couldn't find the links or where they were from so who ever made em...props to ya*

 

A good example of evil christians.....

http://www.crimelibrary.com/notorious_murd...en/index_1.html

 

Long story, but gives you an idea of how evil someone can truly be, yet say they are of god. Chapter 8 is just horrible....how can anyone do this to anyone is beyond me. But it happens all the time and it is a shame.

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Yeah, maybe you could have been in jail.

Wow those where some strong words. I see the wickedness of my atheist ways. NOT! I have never been in jail and im atheist, and I can give you many examples of christians doing evil stuff.

Nazis (im not saying all christians r nazis im showing examples of evil christians) Most were christian and believed they were doing Gawds work.

That mother who cut of her babys legs "for Gawd"

and more ill try to find a good link

*these r a ref from elseware but i couldn't find the links or where they were from so who ever made em...props to ya*

 

A good example of evil christians.....

http://www.crimelibrary.com/notorious_murd...en/index_1.html

 

Long story, but gives you an idea of how evil someone can truly be, yet say they are of god. Chapter 8 is just horrible....how can anyone do this to anyone is beyond me. But it happens all the time and it is a shame.

Thank you Angel :thanks: for finding this link I think it helps my point.

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