NoOne Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 First of all I know that I ask way too many questions and I know I'm super annoying, so I'm sorry. Not sure if this would be the best subforum for this question, but I feel like I ask too many questions in the off-topic and ranting ones, so I'll put it here. It's related to life in the future so it's okay I guess :/ What's reality like? Reality is adulthood. When you actually have freedom and power. You can vote, do whatever you want with your own career and money, there's less restrictions on you. I feel like adulthood is reality because that's when you learn to stop giving a fuck. What happened in school and back when you were younger doesn't matter anymore because it's all a facade. School doesn't work like the real world, and you can see that when you get to experience the real world with actual responsibility and honest individuals. I have no good friends at school. I have friends, but some of them are the type of friends who only want me when they need a favor or there's no one else to talk to. The others don't really take me seriously and I know I'll never really be part of their group. I live in a pretty shitty town where all the roads are freaking highways. Along with that, everyone has known each other since forever because they all grew up here. If you're a newbie, unless you're Christian, straight, and/or white, it's really hard to fit in. Everyone is kind of conceited here. As a huge introvert, I wouldn't actually mind not talking or hanging out all the time (I'm free every single weekend, isn't that disappointing for a teenage American girl my age? No social life whatsoever...not that I particularly care lol ), but I still want just one eally good friend. I'm just sick of the cliques and backstabbing, competing for the highest grades. I just keep remembering that once you leave high school, you'll see how stupid it was and how it didn't even matter. It's so hard though because I still have to finish this year and the other 3 as well. I just want to get a job that I want and hang out with honest, genuine people. The way everyone treats me too, so condescending. They all think I'm stupid. I can't wait to prove all of them wrong. This probably makes no sense but I hope you get the gist. I was listening to Nirvana and Radiohead while I wrote this, so the rock music probably drove my anger unnecessarily lol. Thanks ❤️ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FreeThinkerNZ Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 Well firstly, you can't go wrong with Nirvana and Radiohead. Good choices. And no, you are not annoying at all. Adult life is just like high school in a lot of ways, because some people don't mature beyond the cliques and the backstabbing. But the good thing is, if you study hard and get qualifications that allow you to earn good money, you can move to a bigger place where there are more diverse kinds of people and you can build a social group that fits you. Money may not necessarily make you happy but it gives you more choices. Your task is to get the best grades you can while enjoying living in the moment, whatever that may mean for you. You are doing great! Keep it up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted May 2, 2015 Super Moderator Share Posted May 2, 2015 It's not as "freeing" as you imagine. Life gets harder after high school, not easier. Those jerks in school just grow up and become your bosses and coworkers. You'd be hard pressed to find an adult with adult responsibilities who wouldn't trade everything for another run at the old high school days. Perspective is everything. Learn to enjoy and make the most of wherever you happen to be in life. Your happiness is up to you now and so shall it be the rest of your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FreeThinkerNZ Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 It's not as "freeing" as you imagine. Life gets harder after high school, not easier. Those jerks in school just grow up and become your bosses and coworkers. You'd be hard pressed to find an adult with adult responsibilities who wouldn't trade everything for another run at the old high school days. Perspective is everything. Learn to enjoy and make the most of wherever you happen to be in life. Your happiness is up to you now and so shall it be the rest of your life. +1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
older Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 ... You'd be hard pressed to find an adult with adult responsibilities who wouldn't trade everything for another run at the old high school days. ... Here's one. High school sucked. I wouldn't go back for anything. Adulthood is leagues better. ... Perspective is everything. Learn to enjoy and make the most of wherever you happen to be in life. Your happiness is up to you now and so shall it be the rest of your life. Yup. You write that you are sick of the cliques and backstabbing. That's been going on in high school for ever. Be yourself and eventually you'll find that one good friend. It may take time but it will happen. Try to get an after school job with a small business where you will work with adults who appreciate your abilities. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniterider Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 First of all I know that I ask way too many questions and I know I'm super annoying, so I'm sorry. Not sure if this would be the best subforum for this question, but I feel like I ask too many questions in the off-topic and ranting ones, so I'll put it here. It's related to life in the future so it's okay I guess :/ What's reality like? Reality is adulthood. When you actually have freedom and power. You can vote, do whatever you want with your own career and money, there's less restrictions on you. I feel like adulthood is reality because that's when you learn to stop giving a fuck. What happened in school and back when you were younger doesn't matter anymore because it's all a facade. School doesn't work like the real world, and you can see that when you get to experience the real world with actual responsibility and honest individuals. I have no good friends at school. I have friends, but some of them are the type of friends who only want me when they need a favor or there's no one else to talk to. The others don't really take me seriously and I know I'll never really be part of their group. I live in a pretty shitty town where all the roads are freaking highways. Along with that, everyone has known each other since forever because they all grew up here. If you're a newbie, unless you're Christian, straight, and/or white, it's really hard to fit in. Everyone is kind of conceited here. As a huge introvert, I wouldn't actually mind not talking or hanging out all the time (I'm free every single weekend, isn't that disappointing for a teenage American girl my age? No social life whatsoever...not that I particularly care lol ), but I still want just one eally good friend. I'm just sick of the cliques and backstabbing, competing for the highest grades. I just keep remembering that once you leave high school, you'll see how stupid it was and how it didn't even matter. It's so hard though because I still have to finish this year and the other 3 as well. I just want to get a job that I want and hang out with honest, genuine people. The way everyone treats me too, so condescending. They all think I'm stupid. I can't wait to prove all of them wrong. This probably makes no sense but I hope you get the gist. I was listening to Nirvana and Radiohead while I wrote this, so the rock music probably drove my anger unnecessarily lol. Thanks ❤️ Adult life is better than high school. But you generally dont get 3 months off in the summer time as an adult and you have to work. Work may or may not be good. As in high school , people are pretty much people. There will always be morons you dont like. You'll work with and for people like that as well as people you do like. In the workplace there are cliques, backstabbing and competition for the next promotion. Adulthood does not create honest, genuine people. But maturity does reduce some of the high school drama from the teen years. As an adult you are now free from your parents and a slave to your boss/workplace. The only power you have is the money you earn. But yes, adulthood is pretty good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wyson Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 The adult world is skewed towards extroverts. Generally, you need to make connections, network, sell yourself and your ideas etc. Maybe type in introvert into Amazon and check out a few books outlining strategies. And research careers suited to introverts. Off the top of my head, scientific careers, especially academic ones might suit. I too hated high school but found my place at university. Suddenly I found lots of people like me, all at the same place!. And to my surprise, the pretty girls at college would talk to me and treat me like a person! All the cool kids and bully types at high school couldn't make it in to such a reputable place, if they even went to college at all. The work world is a lot harder, and much more like being at high school again. Those cool kids and bully types you thought you left behind... boom, they are suddenly there again working in jobs that perhaps don't need academic qualifications but effect you in some way. Builders, delivery drivers, support staff, admin, you name it. Having a primarily economic relationship generally keeps them a lot more honest though. Anyway, try to prepare as much as you can! Talk to lots of people, read lots of books regarding careers and career development etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellinas Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 Reality is pretty much what you make of it. People are often shallow, and tend to gravitate to those who are similar. Hence cliques. That does not change with age. By and large, prejudices just harden over time. It's worse in some settings (often smaller communities) than others. The answer, frankly, is to become more self-reliant. Refuse to joint the cliques. Refuse to take sides. You will find that a few people will then eventually gravitate towards you - the independent types who may not be easy company, but at least are worth the effort of knowing. But that will take time, and you would never be exactly popular. If you think like me, that unpopularity would actually be a good thing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rach Posted May 3, 2015 Share Posted May 3, 2015 Reality is I cleaned the shower today and I'll have to clean it again like clockwork for the rest of my life, or it will mildew. And clean the crumbs out of the toaster! Reality is having to check every night that the garage doors down and the fence is locked. Reality is experiencing the deaths of many family, friends, pets and acquaintances. Reality is that sometimes my best is good enough and sometimes it's not. Some people love me for reasons I cannot explain, and some people hate me viciously even though I've hardly even crossed paths with them and don't know the reason for their hatred, maybe they just hate my existence for reasons I'll never know. Reality is getting lost in a beautiful novel and for awhile I'm the heroine until I snap out of it but I never really do snap out of it. Reality is setting the alarm clock every night and checking it a few times, and knowing dad might have a heart attack sometime, inviting a friend over to your apartment for the first time, and the soul-wrenching pain of broken dreams, and dreaming new dreams, and losing yourself, and finding yourself, and losing yourself again, and picking up the pieces, and walking when you want to sleep. Reality is to not know what's around the bend but to cautiously walk towards the bend anyway. Reality is where you already are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thought2Much Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 It's not as "freeing" as you imagine. Life gets harder after high school, not easier. Those jerks in school just grow up and become your bosses and coworkers. You'd be hard pressed to find an adult with adult responsibilities who wouldn't trade everything for another run at the old high school days. Perspective is everything. Learn to enjoy and make the most of wherever you happen to be in life. Your happiness is up to you now and so shall it be the rest of your life. You couldn't pay me enough to go back to high school. No way, no how. I would rather have my worst days at work than spend one more day in high school again. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator TrueFreedom Posted May 4, 2015 Moderator Share Posted May 4, 2015 It's not as "freeing" as you imagine. Life gets harder after high school, not easier. Those jerks in school just grow up and become your bosses and coworkers. You'd be hard pressed to find an adult with adult responsibilities who wouldn't trade everything for another run at the old high school days. Perspective is everything. Learn to enjoy and make the most of wherever you happen to be in life. Your happiness is up to you now and so shall it be the rest of your life. You couldn't pay me enough to go back to high school. No way, no how. I would rather have my worst days at work than spend one more day in high school again. I agree. Life improves with experience and education. Now, if I could go back knowing what I know now, I would do it in a heartbeat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted May 4, 2015 Super Moderator Share Posted May 4, 2015 Nobody had carefree high school days with little responsibility and fun activities? Some would rather work year round, make the mortgage or rent payments and pay for their own insurance? I'm surprised so many hate their high school days even in retrospect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thought2Much Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 Nobody had carefree high school days with little responsibility and fun activities? Some would rather work year round, make the mortgage or rent payments and pay for their own insurance? I'm surprised so many hate their high school days even in retrospect. Yes. I prefer paying a mortgage, working year-round, and paying for insurance to high school. I really did hate it. If my co-workers now threaten to beat me up or create a hostile work environment, I can report them to HR or the police. That wasn't really a viable option in high school. And if my job sucks enough, I can always get another job. It's not like I could just go to another high school because of the way the assholes treated me. Not being one of the cool kids makes high school makes the high school experience far worse than anything that comes after it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
older Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Nobody had carefree high school days with little responsibility and fun activities? Some would rather work year round, make the mortgage or rent payments and pay for their own insurance? I'm surprised so many hate their high school days even in retrospect. Where do I start? I hated every minute of high school. It was the most clique-ish prison on the planet. I was scorned, teased and bullied. There was the in-crowd, the out-crowd and the untouchables. I was in the third category. Out of 3000 students I had two friends, neither of whom I would call "close." I would have loved to take a shop class (we had them then) but that part of campus was the turf of the toughest, meanest kids and if I had gone near there I would have been beaten to a pulp. The classes were boring and meaningless although a few of the teachers were competent and a couple were good. The happiest moment of my teen years was when I walked across the stage at graduation and got my diploma. I never went near the place again. One of my "classmates" had the balls to call me decades later about one of the reunions and it was all I could do to be polite and not tell him what I thought of all of them. I had an after school job which I loved and would have worked at full time if I could. I did work f.t. during summers. There I was respected and valued, and I gained far more practical knowledge than six wasted years of junior high and high school. I learned practical math of the kind needed in daily life, not the abstract concepts I never could relate to. I gained the self-confidence that the pricks in high school kept trying to deny me. I learned how to deal with people, something that has served me in good stead, unlike explicating a poem, a task which I have never used since 10th grade English. (And which meant nothing to me in my career, in which I wrote three non-fiction books, ghosted another, and wrote numerous magazine and newspaper articles.) So I guess what I'm saying in this rant is that things will eventually come together. That doesn't lessen your current pain, TC, but know that said pain doesn't last forever. In my early 20's I found a wonderful woman to whom I've been married for 46 years, and by my mid 30s I was settled into a rewarding career during which I would sometimes think to myself, "I can't believe they are paying me to do this." I worked with intelligent, thoughtful people and would repeat that era again in a heartbeat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyheretic Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 I hated high school so much I self destructed. I wish in retrospect instead of being damaged by my time there I would have instead kept an eye on the future. Maybe you'll like college? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RipVanWinkle Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 I have found that every change in life's circumstances can be an opportunity for self improvement--or not. The good news is that every change will make a difference in your life. What kind of difference depends both upon your new circumstances and how you handle them. If each change makes no difference in your life, you will know the problem is not your circumstances but how you handle them. If that is the case, get help, In other words, for an emotionally healthy person there are some situations in which you can e happy and fulfilled. Otherwise you have mental or emotional problems for which you can get professional help. If that is the case you would be foolish not tot to do so. There is always a way out if you refuse to give up. Rip Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wyson Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 Nobody had carefree high school days with little responsibility and fun activities? Some would rather work year round, make the mortgage or rent payments and pay for their own insurance? I'm surprised so many hate their high school days even in retrospect. I see someone was a cool (or at least OK) kid at high school! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted May 9, 2015 Super Moderator Share Posted May 9, 2015 Nobody had carefree high school days with little responsibility and fun activities? Some would rather work year round, make the mortgage or rent payments and pay for their own insurance? I'm surprised so many hate their high school days even in retrospect. I see someone was a cool (or at least OK) kid at high school! Maybe things have changed drastically since I went to high school. Back in the day we had football players, band geeks, debate club nerds, future teachers, chess club weirdos, theater geeks, ROTC Nazis, student government freaks and several other definable groups. I had exactly two friends in school that I would go smoke with on the loading dock; we were among the "rebels." Still, life was fun and easy in class and out. My best friends didn't even go to my school and some were even a year or two ahead of my official class year. I definitely was not "popular" or "cool" but I realized later that it was still pretty sweet cruising through high school with no bills or responsibilities dragging me down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyheretic Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 Nobody had carefree high school days with little responsibility and fun activities? Some would rather work year round, make the mortgage or rent payments and pay for their own insurance? I'm surprised so many hate their high school days even in retrospect. I see someone was a cool (or at least OK) kid at high school! Maybe things have changed drastically since I went to high school. Back in the day we had football players, band geeks, debate club nerds, future teachers, chess club weirdos, theater geeks, ROTC Nazis, student government freaks and several other definable groups. I had exactly two friends in school that I would go smoke with on the loading dock; we were among the "rebels." Still, life was fun and easy in class and out. My best friends didn't even go to my school and some were even a year or two ahead of my official class year. I definitely was not "popular" or "cool" but I realized later that it was still pretty sweet cruising through high school with no bills or responsibilities dragging me down. Well I was so stressed out being in lord of the flies land every day that I developed life long anxiety disorders so it's hard to wax poetic about that now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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