Fweethawt Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 So, today was a very nice day in northeast Ohio. The temperature was somewhere around the low to mid seventies which is perfect for motorcycle riding -- and that's exactly what I did! I fired up my motorcycle and headed to the gas station for a pre-ride fill up. The cap on my tank is positioned in the center midway to the top. Some bikes have their caps off to the top right side. When I put gas in my bike I usually sit on it and balance the bike with my legs so I can get as much fuel in there as possible. If I just let it lean on the kickstand, it will leave about a quart sized area unfilled inside of the tank and that's why I balance it. I do this all the time. Every time, actually. But no more! Not after today! Today when I was putting the gas in, I wasn't watching what I was doing -- well , I was, but I looked away for just a second at the pump to see how much gas I was putting in. Just then, I overflowed the tank and gasoline gushed out and completely soaked my crotch! Instantly i felt a very cool and refreshing sensation down there. I drew a quick breath the way most people do when they get splashed with cool water. You know what I mean... But then -- THEN -- it happened! I'd never felt anything like this in my life. The burn! The chemical burn all over L'il Fwee and the surrounding area and upper thighs damn near threw me into a panic! In almost a singular movement, I replaced the pump, put the cap back on the tank, removed the key, got off the bike and headed into the store to get to the bathroom. Luckily nobody was in there. I immediately dropped my pants and skivvies and began to dab L'il Fwee with toiled paper. B-A-D FUCKING IDEA!!!!! Doing that made it burn worse! So what did I do next? I stripped completely naked from the waist down (except for my socks) and tried my best to rinse my junk in the sink. It helped, a little. But the pre-toilet paper burn was still there. Oh shit! I forgot to lock the door! Could you imagine if someone walked in on me naked, nearly straddling the sink and rinsing my stuff in a public restroom?!?!? Jesus christ! I got the door locked before that happened. There was no way I could wear my underwear back home. They were soaked with gas. My pants, however, were another story. Although they were also soaked with gas, I couldn't give them access to my aching wang and I couldn't exactly ride home without them. Luckily I was wearing a T-shirt under my work shirt and was able to make something resembling a diaper with the t-shirt to keep my pants from making things worse. I walked out of the store with a huge bulge on my ass from having the shirt stuffed in my pants. I didn't care. I went home, washed, shampooed, showered and powdered poor L'il Fwee. I will never do that again. Gasoline and gonads are a bad combination. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 Hahahaha. Turrible that is just turrible. ???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 Glad there was no open flame nearby. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 not laughing at the burn of course but naked in a public bathroom... omg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted May 9, 2015 Author Share Posted May 9, 2015 not laughing at the burn of course but naked in a public bathroom... omg Exactly! AND forgetting to lock the door?!? Shit! I could've ended up in jail! What if a little kid walked in? I'd never be able to live that down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RenaissanceWoman Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 Sorry man, but that's funnier than any sitcom ever. I can just see George Costanza in a similar situation. I'm sure it was awful as it was happening, but now it's comic gold, baby. I'm glad you survived and did not get arrested or something. Thanks for sharing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentLoner Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 Sorry man, but that's funnier than any sitcom ever. I can just see George Costanza in a similar situation. I'm sure it was awful as it was happening, but now it's comic gold, baby. I'm glad you survived and did not get arrested or something. Thanks for sharing. Actually I think that was an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, Larry David gets caught washing his dick in a sink. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duderonomy Posted May 10, 2015 Share Posted May 10, 2015 Fwee, that's the hardest I've laughed in a week, I think! T-shirt diaper. Too much. I wonder what the clerk thought...from wetting your pants to coming out of the bathroom bulging all under. Geez, did you pay at the pump or what? I hope you and junior recover. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted May 10, 2015 Author Share Posted May 10, 2015 Yeah, I paid at the pump. However, there was a line of almost a dozen customers at the register (that I had to walk through) on my way out. Plus, I smelled like gasoline REALLY bad. I'm sure my soaked skivvies in the trash can got some attention after I left. The bathroom smelled pretty bad, too. Just not for the usual reason... Ever try riding a motorcycle with a bulging T-shirt up your ass? Its a bit awkward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellinas Posted May 10, 2015 Share Posted May 10, 2015 I suppose, in a strange sort of way, you dry-cleaned yourself... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amateur Posted May 10, 2015 Share Posted May 10, 2015 Oh, what a horrible story! I cringed as I read it, and while I was laughing. I'm glad you got home safely and didn't explode into flames or get arrested in the bathroom while having relations with the sink! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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