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A Christian's Failed Attempt To Convert Me


SBeeland
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Hello all. Here's a rant about a laughable attempt by a Christian to convert me.

 

First off, I work in a certain type of place doing a certain thing with one other person four days a week. The problem is, he's a Christian. I actually have no problem with that (its his choice - ironically something Christians just do not understand, at all) but one day I made the mistake of letting him know that I was curious about the usual cliche questions like "is God real" and "what's the meaning of life" and then it started: I was invited to church, given a Bible, asked to study said Bible, etc, etc, etc... I'm pretty sure the exact guy has posted on this site also so he'll probably see this and start a riot.

 

First, I was invited (and am still being invited) to church, almost every Sunday. This guy knows I am not to be disturbed on Sundays but he calls anyway. Second, I was suddenly given a Bible. I admit I had never read it before, and so out of curiousity I read it, the whole thing, and I honestly believe it is one of the most laughable, pathetic things I've ever read. If the bible is God's word, he's a psychopathic lunatic. (can anyone explain his fascination with bruised animal genitals?!) Then, we both have "spots" where we sit. I come in one day to suddenly find my "spot" littered with Christian propaganda. I sifted through it, and seeing that it was useless, returned it to his "spot." I figured that would be enough for him to get the message, but no, the next day it's right back in the same place. And last, I have to put up with the usual random outbursts of homophobia and anti-athiesm.

 

The funny thing is, I think the guy thinks he's converted me. I really hope he knows how close he's coming to me complaining to my boss to stop the harassment. I don't care what he believes as long as he KEEPS IT TO HIMSELF. But Christians just cannot, and will not, understand what that means. They think they're doing a favor when they're being a pest.

 

And if by chance the guy I'm talking about is reading this, I ain't going to church and its just as simple as that. If it doesn't have something to do with work, don't tell me cuz I ain't listening.

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What? You jackass!!! Why didn't you just tell me you don't want that stuff?

 

:HaHa:

 

Heh - basically, that's the whole gist of things. If you guys get along together, that's great. He then should understand if you were to tell him you're comfortable with your beliefs, you don't feel like your life's incomplete without Jesus, and you aren't interested in his literature or in going to church. Most Xian evangelizers operate under the assumption that everyone has a "Gawd-shaped hole in their hearts" and, obedient like good little sheep to the "Great Commission" they try to fill those holes wherever they perceive them.

 

He thinks he's doing you a favor, and he's furthermore seeing it with deluded glasses. You simply have to tell him you're ok as you are and are not interested in his religious literature. If he's a friend, he'll understand - if not, tell him you'll speak with your boss if you must. He may either cool off then or make a big to-do out of being ready to suffer "for the Faith" but you must do what you must do. It's either that or be drowned in Xian spiritual urine.

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First, I was invited (and am still being invited) to church, almost every Sunday. This guy knows I am not to be disturbed on Sundays but he calls anyway. Second, I was suddenly given a Bible. I admit I had never read it before, and so out of curiousity I read it, the whole thing, and I honestly believe it is one of the most laughable, pathetic things I've ever read.

I need you to clarify something. How long ago did he start this? How fast of a reader are you?

 

I'm not sure about you, but for me to read the entire bible from cover to cover it took about 4 months, reading a minimum of 6 chapters per day. Could you clarify? If you took this much effort to read the whole thing, perhaps your curiousity is pretty intense and that's what this person is picking up on??

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First, I was invited (and am still being invited) to church, almost every Sunday. This guy knows I am not to be disturbed on Sundays but he calls anyway. Second, I was suddenly given a Bible. I admit I had never read it before, and so out of curiousity I read it, the whole thing, and I honestly believe it is one of the most laughable, pathetic things I've ever read.

I need you to clarify something. How long ago did he start this? How fast of a reader are you?

 

I'm not sure about you, but for me to read the entire bible from cover to cover it took about 4 months, reading a minimum of 6 chapters per day. Could you clarify? If you took this much effort to read the whole thing, perhaps your curiousity is pretty intense and that's what this person is picking up on??

 

 

Hi. I read the bible in about two months I think. It honestly didn't feel like a huge book to me. But I was reading it almost constantly. (At work too. My job consists of working for 45 minutes and sitting around for the other 9 hours and 15 minutes, so I'll do almost anything to pass the time.) Plus I read very fast. I'll admit that I've forgotten a lot of it, but its just so poorly written that its hard to remember or take seriously. If it were a novel, it would never have been published. I do tell the guy "no thanks" or "no I'm not interested" when he does this stuff but he acts like I've said just the opposite.

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(At work too. My job consists of working for 45 minutes and sitting around for the other 9 hours and 15 minutes, so I'll do almost anything to pass the time.) Plus I read very fast. I'll admit that I've forgotten a lot of it, but its just so poorly written that its hard to remember or take seriously. If it were a novel, it would never have been published. I do tell the guy "no thanks" or "no I'm not interested" when he does this stuff but he acts like I've said just the opposite.

Is your job a security guard? I used to be one and that's what my job was like back then.

 

I can tell you that what probably motivates this guy is that he feels your "no" is an opportunity for him to prove to himself that God can work a miracle. (If this person isn't in sales, they certainly should be - vacuum cleaner sales, or Amway might suit them well).

 

Advise, well don't get into any arguments with him in the work place, otherwise it’s harder to complain if your engaging in debate with him. But if you don't care and are just looking for responses, well.... (rolls up his sleeves and prepares his merciless attack....) :wicked:

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(At work too. My job consists of working for 45 minutes and sitting around for the other 9 hours and 15 minutes, so I'll do almost anything to pass the time.) Plus I read very fast. I'll admit that I've forgotten a lot of it, but its just so poorly written that its hard to remember or take seriously. If it were a novel, it would never have been published. I do tell the guy "no thanks" or "no I'm not interested" when he does this stuff but he acts like I've said just the opposite.

Is your job a security guard? I used to be one and that's what my job was like back then.

 

Close, but I work at a sewage plant. (or "Water Pollution Prevention Plant" as its called since I guess sewage is a not a PC word anymore or something.) Lots of free time. I highly recommend it for anyone looking for freedom at work, as long as you live in a smaller town. Every city has one somewhere.

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Second, I was suddenly given a Bible. I admit I had never read it before, and so out of curiousity I read it, the whole thing, and I honestly believe it is one of the most laughable, pathetic things I've ever read. If the bible is God's word, he's a psychopathic lunatic.

 

Congrats on making it through it! I can't even get through the first creation story without feeling a strong urge to hit my head on something hard. I also can't believe how people can think it's good literature. It's horribly laughable in my opinion. Has to be one of THE worst books I have ever tried to read.

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Is your job a security guard? I used to be one and that's what my job was like back then.

Okay...now I know you were fibbing about your age! :HaHa: Back then...what when you were 12? :grin:

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Hi. I read the bible in about two months I think. It honestly didn't feel like a huge book to me. But I was reading it almost constantly. (At work too. My job consists of working for 45 minutes and sitting around for the other 9 hours and 15 minutes, so I'll do almost anything to pass the time.) Plus I read very fast. I'll admit that I've forgotten a lot of it, but its just so poorly written that its hard to remember or take seriously. If it were a novel, it would never have been published. I do tell the guy "no thanks" or "no I'm not interested" when he does this stuff but he acts like I've said just the opposite.

 

Your reading the Bible at work consistently probably contributed to him thinking he converted you if he did truly believe that.

 

Though kudos on getting through it so fast & standing up for yourself.

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