directionless Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 I'm the only non-Christian in my family. My mother is about 70, and she would worry about me going to hell, so I haven't told anybody in real life. It bothers me that my brother and sister are not free, but I have never been sure how to help them. Today my brother and I were alone, and, on an impulse, I decided to hint about my disbelief. I stopped short of saying that I don't believe at all, but I tried to let him know how disgusted I am with Christianity. In the past, I had been such an extreme believer, so I wanted to be sure my brother knows that I'm not that way now. I hoped that it might nudge him a little towards non-belief. It was a very short conversation, but I could tell that the subject made him uncomfortable and concerned. My hints probably had the opposite effect that I intended; I simply reminded him of his desire to find a church that his family can attend regularly. It is so frustrating to see friends and family wasting themselves on Christianity, and I don't know how to help them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 I think the best help is to live happily and fulfilled without their silliness. Then one day you'll get to tell them why and it will give them something to think about if they're really not happy in Jeebus. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
directionless Posted May 25, 2015 Author Share Posted May 25, 2015 I think the best help is to live happily and fulfilled without their silliness. Then one day you'll get to tell them why and it will give them something to think about if they're really not happy in Jeebus. Thanks That sounds like good advice in general. Unfortunately, I doubt my life could ever be used as a testimonial for the benefits of non-belief LOL. I'm hanging in there though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraphicsGuy Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 You can't help anyone else nor "show them the way" or anything like that. That is not your job. Your "job" is to work on YOU and that's it. I know it's difficult to watch people struggle and be miserable, but the only thing you really need to do is be there when they need. Don't try to be there for things they don't want you there for (yet). 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Yeah, you can't deconvert anybody else. It's sad to watch them struggle with the cult but it is impossible to force somebody to quit. At best you can influence them to attend church less often. The further a Christian gets from indoctrination the happier they will be. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
directionless Posted May 26, 2015 Author Share Posted May 26, 2015 You can't help anyone else nor "show them the way" or anything like that. That is not your job. Your "job" is to work on YOU and that's it. I know it's difficult to watch people struggle and be miserable, but the only thing you really need to do is be there when they need. Don't try to be there for things they don't want you there for (yet). True. I don't think any of them are miserable due to Christianity, but I hate to stand by silently while they give money to support churches, waste time praying, etc. I know how I would feel after becoming an atheist if I discovered that people around me already were atheists but didn't think I was ready to know the truth. It's kind of patronizing. On the other hand, I don't know the right balance between challenging their beliefs and being nice. I can't even be open about my atheism, because I think it would upset my mother too much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
directionless Posted May 26, 2015 Author Share Posted May 26, 2015 Yeah, you can't deconvert anybody else. It's sad to watch them struggle with the cult but it is impossible to force somebody to quit. At best you can influence them to attend church less often. The further a Christian gets from indoctrination the happier they will be. Yep. *sigh* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 I have struggled with the idea of coming out to my extended family. My close family who know have shown zero interest in sharing my status with the rest of my relatives. Con: My aunts and uncles would instantly turn hostile and run the "response to Atheism" program. Pro: I have cousins who are in their 20's and I could be supportive for them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
directionless Posted May 26, 2015 Author Share Posted May 26, 2015 I have struggled with the idea of coming out to my extended family. My close family who know have shown zero interest in sharing my status with the rest of my relatives. Con: My aunts and uncles would instantly turn hostile and run the "response to Atheism" program. Pro: I have cousins who are in their 20's and I could be supportive for them. That is how it seems for me. My brother has a couple of teenage daughers. I hope neither of them takes Christianity seriously enough for it to affect them negatively. Another consideration is that Christianity might help people in certain circumstances. I feel very close to a nervous breakdown due to ordinary things that suddenly seem overwhelming. Oddly, I've been wishing I still had my invisible friend to enourage me. I've even felt like reading the Bible and go to a church where everything is black and white - even though I'm an atheist... strange. So I suppose Christianity might be helpful emotionally to some people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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