Guest biscuit Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 Has anyone had trouble feeling emotions after deconverting? Have they found that they have returned? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sylensikeelyoo Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 My emotions are a lot different now that I have deconverted. I don't have a lot of guilt or shame all the time. The absence of those feelings can sometimes give you the illusion that nothing is there. I am very jaded now and I don't get excited to the points of nirvana like I used to when in "praise and worship". I don't have incredible highs or deep lows anymore. The numbness I sometimes feel when relating to people whom I know are Christians can be due to negative experiences I've had with Christianity and going " numb" is my coping mechanism to prevent pain. At least, this is what makes sense to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted June 20, 2015 Super Moderator Share Posted June 20, 2015 Many forms of Christianity induce exaggerated, fake emotions. Normal life doesn't trigger emotional extremes every Sunday at 9:30 and Wednesdays at 7:00. You will get used to being normal again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wyson Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 Ginger nuts or hob nobs? I suffered from numbness as a coping mechanism for anxiety as I had lost "God's armor" and suddenly felt alone in the world after deconversion. If your numbness is persistent, then it could be a symptom of a mental health disorder. Definitely talk with a mental health professional if its become your default state and / or it is persistent enough to negatively affect your life. For me, it took YEARS to go away, and only stopped after I got help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest biscuit Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 @wyson - did you get your emotions back then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wyson Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 Liebniz or Jaffa cakes? Yes I did. But my emotions didn't return of their own accord. I had to take action. The first step to feeling normal again was reading the book Leaving the Fold by Marlene Winnell. It's well worth a read if you are a new deconvert. It goes into the things you might feel and think as a new deconvert and suggests way to recover and cope. Her concept of Religious Trauma Syndrome isn't in the DSM but she pulls together a lot of accepted and established ideas into a religious / leaving religion context. Maybe read it and see a sympathetic professional. I really wish I had gotten help straight away. I wasted / suffered for years for no reason. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wyson Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 I also wanted to say something about how detrimental long term emotional numbness was to my life. It basically stopped me forming relationships with people for around 6 years. As emotions are the lifeblood of work relationships, friendships, sexual partnership etc. it really put a huge dent in my life. I felt hugely lonely, which encouraged me to deny what I felt even more. It became a vicious circle. Please don't let this happen to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moanareina Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 If this is something that has been with you for a long time now, see a therapist. And maybe see that you find one who is trained in DBT for mood disorders like PTSD and BPD. I often feel numb inside or have a pressure building up for seemingly no reason. Then I go from numbness to depression to numbness...sometimes feeling empty...and then have my happy days again (which made it so difficult for me to seek help...because when having a happy day I feel like makeing it on my own). My psychologist said this was typically borderline. I was a bit shocked because I never cut myself or anything like this nor did I ever attempt suicide. But at the end it doesn't matter what it is called. What matters is, that there are ways to get my emotions the way they should work instead of making me sad and depressed and all. I will start DBT (Dialectic Behavioral Therapy) in two weeks. So I can tell you more about it then. Also meditating helps though it can release much pain and you should be prepared to go through that and feel it all and not just want to stop it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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