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The Patriotic Church Of The American Covenant


The Sage Nabooru
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Ever notice how fundies seem to associate Republicans and Bush's government with God, just like they want them to? In their view, Americans have a special gift in the form of conservative patriotism - that which does not go with our government, goes with Satan.

 

To support France's decision to not accompany us in the Iraq War, for example, is an indication that you are an enemy of Christ. Bush is an ally of Christ. You do not agree with Bush. Therefore, speaking against Bush is speaking against Christ, thus you = demonic heathen.

 

To Christian fundies, the (Fundamentalist Christian) Church and State are so intricately intertwined that the message of salvation cannot be seperated from the government. Being Republican, conservative, pro-war and unwavering supporters of anything and everything Bush does is as essential to their Christianity as baptism and the KJV Bible. To vote Democrat, for example, is a basic denial of Christ; therefore, you have abandoned your chances of salvation and must repent for choosing the political rival of Jesus.

 

It sounds silly, but it's true. It's becoming more and more a part of American Christian Fundamentalism to the point at which the correct political affiliation is inalienable to salvation. Being liberal or voting Democratic or not showing blind support for any action the US conservative government makes is not only a bad decision, it's a downright sin. Beg for forgiveness to achieve grace.

 

One interesting facet of this religion is what it calls "patriotism". Patriotism is defined as total and complete support and subservience to the American government. You don't even need to live in America. In fact, living outside of America and showing support for any government besides the American government, including your own, is not "patriotism", it is "treason", regardless of your home country.

 

This blind obedience can be roughly explained in a few points:

1. Everything the American government does is right and just.

2. George W. Bush is a Special Child Of God, an Apostle, and so are the Republican Congressmen and officials who work with him.

3. Only George W. Bush's policies will work in the modern world.

4. The reason the world is so corrupt is because other countries, controlled by Antichrist forces, are doing everything in their power to stop President Bush, the Child of God.

5. The American government under George W. Bush will never infringe on citizen's rights. Any actions it takes are totally justifiable and righteous and only taken against false citizens who support terrorists.

6. A true Christian will always agree with, show support to, and be obedient to the righteous government of America, the True Christian Nation, and God's Child, George W. Bush.

 

The following lists Satanic activities according to the Fundamentalist Christian doctrince of Patriotism:

1. Voting Democrat, Independent, Green, or any other non-Republican party.

2. Showing any support for the legality of abortion under any circumstances. Allowing legality of abortion to continue to exist rather than vocally and actively protesting it at every opportunity.

3. Showing any support for sex education at any level, in the same lines as above.

4. Allowing homosexuals to have rights.

5. Visiting, having friends in, or purchasing items from the following countries: France, Russia, and any other European nation not involved or not giving support to the Iraq conflict; China, Japan, India, Taiwan, Thailand, Malaysia, or other Asian countries; and any Muslim-majority country.

6. Not funding evangelical missionary organizations.

 

In fifty years, a new church will be born, based on these precepts. It will be called The Patriotic Church of the American Covenant. The beliefs will be the above, and:

 

*George W. Bush will be an Official Apostle.

*God's chosen people in the Old Testament were the Israelites. However, since they did not accept Christ's Messiahhood, God chose a new nation, consisting of carefully selected, faithful individuals over a period of time, to spread and live Christ's message - the Americans, in the United States.

*American citizenship will be a neccessary part of salvation; only Americans go to heaven.

*For evangelism, first, make everyone American, in spirit, behavior, thinking patterns, beliefs, and the neccessary element of patriotism. Only then may they become true Christians.

 

Whaddya think? Think about it, somebody could make a lot of money off of this......

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In their hearts and souls, said church already exists. I know - I was there, myself.

 

When I was a temporary Protestant fundy for about a year's time, I was very caught up in the "America is a Xian country and was formed as such by Babble-believing Xians" line. The Stars and Stripes were the flag of Xianity, and the Babble was the proto-Constitution. Patriotism and love of nation is so hyped-up by American Evangelicals their congregations buy into it, hook, line, and sucker.

 

It's ideological salesmanship at its finest. Xians want to love their country, they want to be diffferentiated from the flag-burning hippie liberals of the 60s, so when their pastors tell them about how America is the new Holy Land, they eat it right up. I shared that mindset for a long time, and most especially during my little Protestant experiment.

 

Even recently, during my evolution to Deism, I recall listening to a bit of right-wing talk radio during W's re-election. A caller to the Sean (sic?) Hannity program disgreed with how all the Founders were painted as Babble Xians and insisted that they were mostly Deists. Hannity had a conniption and just shouted the guy down, insisting that the builders of the country he loved so much just had to be Xians. Heaven forbid his favorite country had a different ideological beginning than the one his pastor tells him every Sunday. But that's the sad truth; people just don't realize that religious freethinkers founded the United States and the American flag, if it can be considered the property of any group, is best considerd a Deist's flag. Their oppressive religion of utter nonsense has nothing to do with the basic principles of freedom upon which America was founded, but they just can't let themselves think that.

 

I remember laughing to myself as I pulled my truck onto the NJ Turnpike, listening to Hannity make a fool of himself. I soon thereafter put in a Danzig mix tape and barrelled ass south to Trenton, happy to have left such stupidity behind.

 

UnitedWeStand.jpg

 

"Patriotic Church" my American ass.

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I have to say, the most nauseating saying ever must be: “You are a great American (fill in your name)” because you vote and pray like Sean Hannity.

:repuke:

Amen.

 

Have you ever heard more mutual ass kissing in your entire life?

 

You're a great American, my friend.

 

You're a great American.

 

Look at us, we're swell!

 

It's sickening.

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Amen.

 

Have you ever heard more mutual ass kissing in your entire life?

 

You're a great American, my friend.

 

You're a great American.

 

Look at us, we're swell!

 

It's sickening.

 

Yeah, tell me about it. And that irritating Philly "I know it all" attitude, common to many parts of the American Northeast. At least Rush makes it sound funny; Hannity just grates on my nerves.

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I can't believe you guys forgot Pat Robertson! He's the biggest Dominionist motherfucker out there. He'll starting going on about Dubbya and his righteousness and it'll turn into fellatio within a few seconds.

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