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Goodbye Jesus

Please Pray For Me...


Ellinas

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Today I was placing some shopping off the check-out into a shopping bag when my back went "ping" (as it does occasionally).

 

Now I can sit down in relative discomfort, I can stand not very straight, I need to move very carefully between those two postures and I am likely to need a walking stick to lever myself out of bed tomorrow.

 

So, I was hoping that Brother Jeff might intercede on my behalf with the Wholly Farter in his own inimitable way for the healing of the Lard...  And perhaps ask the omnipotent idiot why he made me with a weakness in the lumbar region to start with...

 

So, any chance of a powerful healing prayer, Brother???

 

I await proof of the Lard's power with baited breath.

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Guest sylensikeelyoo

That depends on how much faith you have on the magic sky wizard my brother! I can personally intercede on your behalf but it depends on if you're slaved and if brother Jeff can appropriately give you the holy Spook. In the meantime, I suggest you reflect on your sin and make sure you are good and slaved or else the holy farter can't give you the Spook and thereby healing in the name of Kryyst. A trip to the doctor for corticosteroids is only putting your faith in science and you know as well as i do that thos heathens worship the devil and that shit will never work. So DO NOT make an appointment with your Dr first thing Monday morning whatever you do! Injections and anti inflammatories will only make you feel better and you know as well as I do that Kryyst gave you this thorn in your side for HIS GLORY!

 

Oh make sure you're not a faggot or a heathen either or else you'll Rob yourself of the Lard's blessing. You know how he hates homos, women, Pagans, and atheists. Other than that, receive your portion, BROTHER!!!

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And now for something more mundane, laser-based back surgery has matured significantly in the last decade or so and can often mitigate, solve, repair, fix many back problems that previously couldn't be addressed well, and it can do so without appeal to a sky fairy.

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And now for something more mundane, laser-based back surgery has matured significantly in the last decade or so and can often mitigate, solve, repair, fix many back problems that previously couldn't be addressed well, and it can do so without appeal to a sky fairy.

 

Sdelsolray, you reprobate motherfucker you.

 

You suggest some scientific voodoo, when a simple prayer to God through Jesus will suffice? The man asked for prayer, not mumbo jumbo. 

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Sdelsolray - get thee behind me, thou heathen!

 

How can I rely upon mere human science when the Lard will gloriously heal me of all pain (if only I can be properly slaved, as pointed out above)?

 

Now I must go and hobble in a vaguely crablike sidewise motion into some private corner to offer praise unto the glories of the Farter!  If only I can get out of this f*&king chair!!!

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I'll pray to the holy Farter as well as his Son who is also somehow magically himself. :)

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Well, I said it was mundane...certainly not as exciting as magical sky fairies.

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The world is full of TESTS of FAITH but don't you be fooled by no talking snake brother! In Jeezus name and blood do something you didn't think you could! Leave the chair right now, accepting that Jeezus is touching you riiight NOW. Btw this tragedy just encountered me that I need a new house on top of the three I already have so if the true, honest, holy Spirit moves you so, here's a bucket for your monetary sacrifice.

 

I am waiting eagerly for your testimony of how the pain went away!

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Bless the Lard!  For the pain continues, and so I  must be worthy of of bearing such suffering for the glorious Farter.  This is not a lack of faith, but just that the answer to the prayers is "no"!  You hear me - the prayer is answered and I am not healed because it is the good will of the merciful Lard of all creation that I must suffer...

 

Yunea - bless you sister for adjuring me to get out of my chair, for, in falling on my arse I knew the pain that the Lard has laid upon me the more perfectly!

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I would internet touch you but you would fall down and shake causing other possible injuries. I'm sorry. You must wait for a different miracle my friend

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Don't you see that the Lard has given me this so that I might rest in the glory of his Indwelling Spook?  The miracle is here, I tell you, here and now!!!

 

Do not doubt the hand of the Lard upon my spine!

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