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Goodbye Jesus

God Just Needed To Get Laid


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I made a thread that the OT God and NT God possibly could have been two separate Gods. Here is another proposition.

 

What if God was indeed just one being? In the old testament, God was this mean bastard that destroyed everything and was very upfront about it, then all of the sudden, he pops Mary and Jesus happens. Then all through the NT God was painted with a very different brush. He was this all loving and ever forgiving being.

 

God just needed to get laid to get his aggression out. What do you think?

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I made a thread that the OT God and NT God possibly could have been two separate Gods. Here is another proposition.

 

What if God was indeed just one being? In the old testament, God was this mean bastard that destroyed everything and was very upfront about it, then all of the sudden, he pops Mary and Jesus happens. Then all through the NT God was painted with a very different brush. He was this all loving and ever forgiving being.

 

God just needed to get laid to get his aggression out. What do you think?

Given that Mary did not give her consent, was engaged to some one else and was unaware she was pregnant, I'd call that rape instead of getting laid 

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Right of the first night:

Also known as jus primae noctis (/ʒʌs ˈpraɪmiː ˈnɒktɨs/; Latin pronunciation: [ju:s ˈpri:mai 'noktis]),[1] it allegedly allowed the lord of a medieval estate to take the virginity of his serfs' daughters.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Droit_du_seigneur
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I made a thread that the OT God and NT God possibly could have been two separate Gods. Here is another proposition.

What if God was indeed just one being? In the old testament, God was this mean bastard that destroyed everything and was very upfront about it, then all of the sudden, he pops Mary and Jesus happens. Then all through the NT God was painted with a very different brush. He was this all loving and ever forgiving being.

God just needed to get laid to get his aggression out. What do you think?

 

Given that Mary did not give her consent, was engaged to some one else and was unaware she was pregnant, I'd call that rape instead of getting laid

Very true.

 

Also take note of Mary's reaction in the bible. If something like this was to happen, imagine if it was someone you know presently, I would expect all sorts of emotional trauma, confusion, and just not a good place to be. Instead, they CELEBRATED this event! It just doesn't add up.

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I made a thread that the OT God and NT God possibly could have been two separate Gods. Here is another proposition.

What if God was indeed just one being? In the old testament, God was this mean bastard that destroyed everything and was very upfront about it, then all of the sudden, he pops Mary and Jesus happens. Then all through the NT God was painted with a very different brush. He was this all loving and ever forgiving being.

God just needed to get laid to get his aggression out. What do you think?

Given that Mary did not give her consent, was engaged to some one else and was unaware she was pregnant, I'd call that rape instead of getting laid

Very true.

 

Also take note of Mary's reaction in the bible. If something like this was to happen, imagine if it was someone you know presently, I would expect all sorts of emotional trauma, confusion, and just not a good place to be. Instead, they CELEBRATED this event! It just doesn't add up.

 

Lets not forget that after Jesus grew up and started preaching, she was surprised by His behaviour, presumably , she had forgotten He was God 

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I made a thread that the OT God and NT God possibly could have been two separate Gods. Here is another proposition.

 

What if God was indeed just one being? In the old testament, God was this mean bastard that destroyed everything and was very upfront about it, then all of the sudden, he pops Mary and Jesus happens. Then all through the NT God was painted with a very different brush. He was this all loving and ever forgiving being.

 

God just needed to get laid to get his aggression out. What do you think?

 

Like most gods, Yahweh originally had a wife. They built altars to her in the High Places. It's no wonder he's pissed. The world is a dark place without the Scared Feminine principle. The Earth is our Mother, whether sentient or not.

 

Yahweh and his Asherah

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I made a thread that the OT God and NT God possibly could have been two separate Gods. Here is another proposition.

 

What if God was indeed just one being? In the old testament, God was this mean bastard that destroyed everything and was very upfront about it, then all of the sudden, he pops Mary and Jesus happens. Then all through the NT God was painted with a very different brush. He was this all loving and ever forgiving being.

 

God just needed to get laid to get his aggression out. What do you think?

Given that Mary did not give her consent, was engaged to some one else and was unaware she was pregnant, I'd call that rape instead of getting laid 

 

 

 

Also God violated the 10th commandment.  Do not covet your neighbor's wife or anything else that

 

belongs to him.  On a positive note that makes Jesus a bastard.

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Guest Furball

 

Lets not forget that after Jesus grew up and started preaching, she was surprised by His behaviour, presumably , she had forgotten He was God 

 

 

That one always got me as well. After seeing an angel, having his miraculous birth prophesy come true, singing a song to the lord in luke all about her miraculous child, and every one in the neighborhood coming to his circumcision and bragging about how special jesus was....after all that, she later thinks he is beside himself? 

 

Seriously WTF?!? 

 

The bible is screwed up royally. And christians can't understand why we don't take it seriously anymore. 

 

Did you know that if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you can say to a mountain be thou removed and be thou cast into the sea and don't doubt in your heart, it will literally happen? The mountain will literally come out of the ground and fling itself into the ocean. Mark 11:23

 

Lol christians, your so gullible. 

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