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I Got Chicketed Yesterday.


Dhampir
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Yestderday, I'm heading to work, and this dude stops me, tells me about the love of Jesus Christ, and hands me a freakin' chick tract. It's the 'this was your life' one, where the guy gets condemned for looking at a girl, telling a lewd story and swearing. Man, if they'd given me that particular one when I was little, I'd have deconverted a decade ago. Now I just look at it and laugh; I was in a bad mood last night, read through it, and immediately felt better.

 

I wish I could meet up with that guy again, cause when he approached me, I found that none of my quick-witted responses came to mind. Thought of all of them once I was gone.

 

Btw, if noone has used the term 'chicketed', I claim originality credit.

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Heh - no, I guess it's your term, now.

 

Don't you hate that? Going along, minding your own business, and one of Chick's dicks comes at you. Or any fundy; you never have the comebacks ready when they sneak out of the shadows.

 

Oh well, at least you got a laugh; a Chick tract is always a good pick-me-up. It's a riot that people actually still believe that stuff.

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Actually, I've known and worked for a lot of Christians of varying fundiness, but I've never known even a single one that took Jack Chick seriously. I suppose there has to be some out there somewhere, but overall, the funny part is that Jack Chick thinks people read his tracts as a guide for Godly life, when in actually the vast, vast majority are just the source of a good laugh.

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I like that term...may have to put it to more general use.

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Guest RichStPete

Oh, I had one of these freaks come up to me in a supermarket last week here in St Petersgburg Fl. ( yes we are a pretty liberal area but religious wacko's are everywhere) She was with her husband and she handed me a "tract" As soon as I realized what it was I turned to her and told her her husband was hot as hell (and he was.. and oh yeah, Im gay...) and I'd love to make love to him(ok that was being kind) The look on her face was priceless! I told her to go fuck herself and that jeebus hated her for judging others.................. Not a word from her... She was speechless and I told her to have pleasent day... Oh man it was great!

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Oh, I had one of these freaks come up to me in a supermarket last week here in St Petersgburg Fl. ( yes we are a pretty liberal area but religious wacko's are everywhere) She was with her husband and she handed me a "tract" As soon as I realized what it was I turned to her and told her her husband was hot as hell (and he was.. and oh yeah, Im gay...) and I'd love to make love to him(ok that was being kind) The look on her face was priceless! I told her to go fuck herself and that jeebus hated her for judging others.................. Not a word from her... She was speechless and I told her to have pleasent day... Oh man it was great!

 

You can almost see Nelson pop up behind the couple and point his finger and laugh. Haaah haaah!

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i hate those halloween and witch shittracks i mean chick tracts lol about witches. i see them on the store bulletin boards ever halloween. im tempted to pull it down and burn them with my lighter. some idiot will read those and think were satanists who put glass in candy and shit. hell halloweens outlawed in one town already. i one time found a chicktract on my machine at work i threw it away i was tempted to find the asshole burn the damn thing and dance on it. iv read several tacts and no body in their knows anything they just put in a bunch of propaganda bullshit. were christians get this shit ill never understand

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I'm thinking that everyone is already familiar with Miss Poppy. But in case you're not and want a good laugh, check her out. She has some of the best tracts available anywhere, plus a ton of other pertanent christian swag, with an appropriate twist :

 

Miss Poppy

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Last summer I was working in a booth at a county fair, and a couple booths down from ours was a fundy church booth. They had a counter jam-packed full of what looked to be Chick Tracts. I was thrilled because I was bored and thought they'd help pass the time with some hilarious reading, so I took one of each. I'm sure they were thrilled when I did that. But when I sat down to read them, I was sorely disappointed. They were just Pseudo-Chicks - nearly identical covers, but the innards were just Bible verses, and no fun whatsoever. :( I should've returned them, but I just threw them away.

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I did a spoof of that tract not long ago. Glory!

 

http://www.religionisbullshit.org/2006/01/...-your-life.html

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In light of current world events, I came across these chick tracts pertaining to Islam...Perhaps if we drop-ship large numbers of these particular tracts among the fundies, who are already foaming at the mouth over those damned cartoons, these tracts might be just enough to push their anger over the edge to trigger a fatal heart-attack :lmao:

 

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1004/1004_01.asp

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1011/1011_01.asp

 

(All we need to do is get these in the Arabic script)

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In light of current world events, I came across these chick tracts pertaining to Islam...Perhaps if we drop-ship large numbers of these particular tracts among the fundies, who are already foaming at the mouth over those damned cartoons, these tracts might be just enough to push their anger over the edge to trigger a fatal heart-attack :lmao:

 

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1004/1004_01.asp

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1011/1011_01.asp

 

(All we need to do is get these in the Arabic script)

 

If we do what you suggest, we might as well just send nukes instead and eliminate the middle man (plus all other men/women/other while we're at it).

 

I have to say though, the anti-muslim tracts almost seem more asinine than the ordinary chick tracts, assuming that were even theoretically possible.

 

 

Hmmm, what if we all requested this? Request Catalogue by mail

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Heh - no, I guess it's your term, now.

 

Don't you hate that? Going along, minding your own business, and one of Chick's dicks comes at you. Or any fundy; you never have the comebacks ready when they sneak out of the shadows.

 

Oh well, at least you got a laugh; a Chick tract is always a good pick-me-up. It's a riot that people actually still believe that stuff.

 

Chick's dicks, LOL... Yeah, I have sometimes looked at the online tracts for a giggle... they seem like a joke, they're so ridiculous...

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Those "Chick" tracts are truly amazing, to see an absolutely unsupported and unsupportable, fear-based argument given such elaborate illustration. Absolutely stunning....I remember in the seventies seeing those things left around everywhere....

 

DucorpsToo, I enjoyed those links vvery much.

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Oddly, I don't recall ever having come across a Chick tract during my lifetime. Perhaps in certain regions of the country they're more prevalent...don't know.

 

As the previous poster had noted, the illustrations are quite good. I find those tracts oddly compelling in a way...kinda like slowing down to view a bad car accident. If I were someone who was into kitsch as a hobby, I'd probably save a few of these tracts to add to my collection of plastic pink flamingos (ugh!), velvet Elvis...etc :grin:

 

Obviously these tracts still sell quite well as evidenced by the website. Even though they're available in other languages, I still wonder how common they are on a worldwide basis. As I said before, those Danish cartoons appear quite harmless to me. In contrast, I find that some of those Chick tracts could be extremely provacative to the Muslims and would get the fundies on the warpath...especially the following:

 

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0029/0029_01.asp

 

In this tract, not only do we see inflammatory words, but we also see an actual illustration of Mohammed as well as an outline of "Allah" toward the end, both of which are clearly verboten within Islam. To my knowlege I've never heard of any Muslim outrage to any of these tracts which makes me question how popular they are on a global basis.

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