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Gideon Bibles


The Sage Nabooru
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I've made it a habit of mine to take home Gideon Bibles from hotels.......to destroy them. Yyyeah. I just don't think any religion should have the monopoly to place religious texts in intimate yet public places (i.e., the hotel nightstand drawer). I do this in full confidence that nobody will ever, ever miss it. (Think about it - does anybody really read those things?) I doubt they're ever replaced, either. I think the Gideons assume that, once placed, the Bibles will stay in that room until Jesus comes back, and the only way to replace missing ones would be for the hotel manager to realize they're gone, and for that manager to actually care enough to order more.

 

But should I simply remove and destroy the Bibles? Or should I place another text in there? I'm thinking the Golden Lotus Sutra - after all, Buddhism really is a religion of peace. I was thinking about a Koran, but then again I'm pretty sure if somebody found a Koran in their drawer, it would make, ah, considerable waves, and I would be traced through a trail of Islamic holy book sitings. Atheist writings would create the same effect. But "Moments of Mindfulness" by Thich Nhat Hanh, a guy that stresses tolerance for all beliefs? You can't really complain about that.

 

It wouldn't even need to be a book. If a person is lonely and starts digging in a hotel drawer, perhaps that person just needs something to pass the time. Maybe a deck of cards or tarot cards would help. Or origami paper, complete with instruction book on how to fold up a sailboat. The possibilities are endless.

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I admit to putting those "danger" labels on a few hotel gideons... my husband was pissed. heh heh heh

 

You would have to put the Quran on top of the nightstand to show proper respect. Ha!! Muslims can't mistreat it in any way, including not putting in the floor or out of sight.

 

You know how you can tell a book has been read by looking at the dirt on the rim? I have looked at hotel bibles, and they have been read. Usually Psalms or the gospels.

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For a real change, replace them babbles with copies of the Poetic Edda and secretly record the utter puzzlement on the faces of the ones who find it... ;)

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Why not leave the bible's there and just place a small, yet intriguing, reading guide on top or next to it. The guide could say something like:

 

Inspirational Readings (subtle and intriguing - anything more would invite skepticism or repulsion)

 

Then go on to list three or four passages, such as when god sent a she bear to attack the children, god's instructions for rape and pillage of enemy villages, etc.

 

Just give them the verses to read. Don't tell them what to expect. E.g.,

 

1. Do you know how much god loves children? Read...

2. You always want god on your side. Just look what he does to your enemies...

3. God's thoughts on intimacy (provide the verses to the passage where Lot's daughters got him drunk and fucked him)

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Theres a lot of fun things you can use hotel bibles for, like using the pages for toilet paper (then putting them back in the book), tearing out the pages and using them to roll blunts, or you can set them outside during your stay and make a bet with your friends about how many very offended nutsacks will actually come knocking on your door at 1 in the morning and ask "why in the lord's name would you place this bible outside like a piece of trash?" and then explain to you the joys of the bible before you have to call security to have them removed.

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Theres a lot of fun things you can use hotel bibles for, like using the pages for toilet paper (then putting them back in the book)...

 

*wipes his keyboard, mouse and monitor clean from the mead, curses*

 

:lmao::funny::lmao:

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This is sorta along the same lines....

 

Someone put out a bunch of business-sized cards at our local post office, advertising some fundy film that was to be shown at one of the churches in town. It was some Hellfire N Brimstone Hell Is Real movie, intended to scare the shit outta people and bring them into the cult. Anyway, every day for a couple of weeks, I'd take the whole pile, and hide them with my junk mail only to toss them in the trash. I bet they thought people were snatching them up by the dozens! :wicked: Hopefully, I saved a few people from being subjected to such torture.

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You know - hotels obviously don't have any legal obligation to leave Gideon Bibles in their rooms. I wonder why they're almost always there? (They were never in Disney hotels around Disney World, that's why I love DW! :grin: ) I very much doubt that the vast majority of hotel managers really feels the need to spread the Gospel, so are the Gideons giving them an extra bonus in the acceptance of the Bibles? Like free floor sweeping or a fat donation of those too-small towels with the blue stripe down the middle for the swimming pool?

 

I remember one time applying for a job at a new hotel in St. Charles. It was a big, beautiful place built mainly for conventioneers. (I remembered they sold little black plush dogs in the gift shop of Meriwether Lewis's Newfie, Seaman, and I really wanted one because I'm a sucker for dogs but I didn't have any money.) Anyway, they were having the "Dedication of the Bibles" by the Gideon group there. They just had an enormous stack of them sitting on top of a table, and lots of fat white guys in suits sipping coffee and drinks and acting jovial.

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Damn! I went on a business trip 2 weeks ago and forgot about the fucking bibles! If only I had opend the drawer of the nightstand. It might be fun just to toss it in the trash and see what the maid does withit. Would it end up back in the drawer, or the dumpster?

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Just realised something else, maybe they were put there back a long time ago for people to read when they got the urge to have sex. I mean, maybe its just a local thing from around my town but I've never heard a hotel story that didn't end in a massive orgy. Some folks I know will do things in hotel rooms that they'd never do even in their own house!

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I've pulled the bible out and thrown it in the trash can, only to find it pulled out the next day by the maid. Of course, I repeated throwing it in the trash every day of my stay. It was amusing, if nothing else.

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I think the best way to counter the Gideons (and Mormons in Marriott hotels) would be to request equal opportunity from the hotel chains to place a book with secular / atheistic writings in each room beside the bible. Give people an option and I'm sure many people will take a look and some will see the truth.

 

Of course, that would require organization, money and identifying the appropriate material to place into the room, but I think its worth further consideration. Think of all the people who would finally be exposed to an alternative to christianity.

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So, it's basically there because the group has the goods? I wonder if that's why nobody has ever called on the courts about it. I imagine among a group of very wealthy fat men, they'd be a very skilled number of lawyers.

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  • 1 month later...

To add a little to Arthur's post on background... (I was recommended by our music pastor, went to a meeting (free dinner), signed up when I couldn't get the guy to accept no for an answer, went to a breakfast meeting, never paid my fees, and now ignore the emails they send.)

 

It is a group for "professional" men. My memory is a little off, but I think it pretty much meant college educated. There is a women's wing, but I can't recall what it's called off hand. They are basically a support group for the men.

 

The bible dedications are big events for these old guys. They go to new hotels with hundreds of bibles and put 'em in every room. Every few months they go back through the hotels and replace missing and damaged bibles. The bibles that are damaged are donated to prisoners, after removing the covers to keep the prisoners from making weapons out of the cardboard.

 

Here's the argument for members having to pay dues. They like that they can tell donors that every dollar they donate goes toward distributing bibles. What that means is that the membership dues go to pay the management.

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The Gideons also leave a collection of fresh bibles to be replaced as needed, at least this was my experience when I worked at a hotel.

 

The bibles, when found to be missing, will be replaced by the housekeepers with a new one (they usually keep several on their cart for that purpose). If it is visibly damaged or vandalized... it will also be replaced. With as many people who go through the rooms, it's actually pretty rare (considering all the factors) that bibles need to be replaced. Maybe 1% a day at the hotel where I worked (with 50 rooms).

 

If you're going to stick things in there... make sure they're not obvious. And the housekeepers sometimes riffle the pages to make sure there aren't notes or anything stuck in there. All things considered, it's much more likely that a housekeeper will see your pamphlet or insert long before a guest would have opened the book. They're not touched all that often.

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Damn it. Damn it.

 

Here's a law to introduce when the Democrats get back into power, and we'll do it ourselves:

 

No religious literature may be placed inside a building unless that building is used for a religious purpose; or is being used by a dealer in literature or religious media.

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Damn it. Damn it.

 

Here's a law to introduce when the Democrats get back into power, and we'll do it ourselves:

 

No religious literature may be placed inside a building unless that building is used for a religious purpose; or is being used by a dealer in literature or religious media.

 

As much as I don't like being inundated with religion everywhere I go, I still think people should be free to live their delusions to their hearts' content as long as it is not forced by law on others. Hotels, etc., are not compelled to allow these Bibles to be placed.

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I wish there was a group that did this kind of stuff all the time. Kind of like a "Fight Club" organization. Muahahaha!

 

"Your assignment is... Replace all religious flyers with near duplicates with "modified" content.

 

 

That would be fun, but ineffective. When I travel, I take out the Gideon Bible to see if there is any evidence anyone has ever opened it. I have yet to find one that looks like it's been opened.

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