Popular Post tomfranklin Posted September 11, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted September 11, 2015 I was a conservative, evangelical, Reformed, Calvinistic, born-again Christian. I believed the Bible was the literal, inspired word of God. God influenced the writers so they wrote exactly the words he wanted. That meant the Bible was true and without error (God couldn't be wrong or lie, right?). For me, it was the only source of spiritual truth and the only special revelation to man from God. I believed it alone was sufficient for matters of life and godliness, doctrine and practice. I no longer believe in biblical inspiration, inerrancy, and infallibility. How on earth could this happen? It started with a simple question. The question led to a thought experiment which led to months of intense reflection and study. A few months into the study, I abandoned the belief. I believed in Christianity because that's what my parents, school, and church taught me growing up. As a child, I believed what the authorities in my life told me to believe. My entire family was Christian. My father was a minister. I went to church every Sunday and Wednesday night and attended a Christian school. In my teens, I still held to basic Christian beliefs but didn't embrace them. I walked away from the faith. Then my life changed directions. I had a conversion experience at 19 and embraced Christianity. I poured my life into it. I spent a lot of time studying the Bible and theology. I prayed, repented of sin, and trusted in Christ alone for my salvation. I attended and served in the church, attended bible studies and small groups each week, evangelized the lost, etc. This was my life for over ten years. This summer my life changed directions, again. A few months ago at work I had a series of conversations with a co-worker about God, religion, and Christianity. I used the opportunity to share the gospel with him. In one conversation, he asked a simple question. It turned out to be a profoundly life-changing question (although I didn't realize it at the time). The question was: Why do you believe the Bible is God's word? Why? Not what do I believe, but why do I believe it? Well! Being a good Christian, many arguments came to mind that I shared with him. But after the conversation, something was nagging me I couldn't ignore. Some initial questions arose in my mind were: What is the nature of faith? What is the relationship between faith and reason? Do I necessarily need a good reason to have (true) faith? Must I necessarily not have a good reason to have (true) faith? Does a good reason negate (true) faith? For people who don't have good reasons, is their faith legitimate? If so, were they "lucky" to pick the right thing to believe? If not, are they going to hell in spite of their faith? How do I know what I believe is right? As I thought more about these questions and my own faith, I asked myself the question: why do I believe the Bible is God's word? I found it came back to the same things. Either that's what I was taught growing up, or I believed for other unexplainable, subjective reasons. I considered objective, evidential reasons I would give (eg fulfilled prophecy, historical accuracy, etc). I soon realized I hadn't studied the issues for myself and come to my own conclusions. I absorbed the convictions of others and made them my own. That fact occurred to me and I felt intellectually dishonest trying to convince my co-worker to believe the Bible. So for the past few months I've been thinking about the questions: Why do I believe the Bible is God's word? Is there good reason to believe it is? Or isn't? How can I be sure? Is the Bible inspired by God down to every word, or is it a collection of writings by men (or somewhere in between)? Is there a difference between divine revelation and ideas about reality that mere man can arrive at? Does the answer to these questions matter? Does the answer make the key messages of the Bible any more or less true? If the Bible is not God's word, does that mean its "revealed message" is not real and true? Suddenly I needed to answer those questions for myself, let alone for any future conversations with others on the subject. In the past few years, my philosophy on evaluating truth claims (spiritual or not) has shifted. Growing up, I accepted truth claims based on authority. Now I believe people should think for themselves and form convictions based on good reason and evidence. We should not believe something just because someone trustworthy said so. I realized some parts of my faith needed to "catch up" with my growing philosophy. After this realization, I took a step back and a deep breath. I embarked on a thought experiment on how one should evaluate religious truth claims. I wanted to create a framework that would work for anyone at any time or any place. I crafted a few arguments and a train of thought to help provide this framework. Here is a summary of the thought experiment (read my full argument for detailed rationale): The religion one believes in has more to do with the time and place of his birth than any other factor. Most (if not all) religions are false. One should be skeptical of his religion until it is proven to be true. Dogmatic, authoritative, subjective, or emotional reasons do not prove a religion is true (if these are the only reasons one has for believing, it is probably false). True religion and its teachings will provide objective, cross-cultural, cross-generational, unique, logical, rational, testable, and verifiable evidence and it will be true in all places and at all times. True religion and its teachings will not contain errors, contradictions, inconsistencies, or rational, logical, or moral problems. Whether these criteria are fair, I don't know. It seemed like a safe basis to make evaluations. With this in mind, I read arguments for and against Christianity and the Bible. To be honest, many of the arguments for the Bible were underwhelming. Some stemmed from the same subjectivity I felt from the beginning or used circular reasoning. Some answered different questions. Such as, "is the Bible an accurate representation of the original manuscripts?" Or, "does the Bible discuss real people and events in history non-biblical sources can corroborate?" These are separate questions than proving the inspiration of the Bible. Some arguments left out "difficult" information. Whether the authors were ignorant of the conflicting data I don't know. I also read arguments against the Bible. I have to admit they were stronger than I believed they would be. The arguments included examples of inconsistencies, immoral actions or commands of God in the Old Testament, (apparent) anachronisms, writings as products of men in the age in which they lived, (apparent) contradictions, (apparent) forgeries, errors, (apparent) mistranslation, misinterpretation, or misapplication of OT passages, failed prophecies, interpolations or additions to the original text, arguments for later dating of the books than traditionally held by believers, testimony of early church fathers accepting or rejecting certain books of the Bible, motivation for believing, etc. I will expound on the details of this research in a future post. I'm still in the mode of trying to understand it all, but was enough of a shock to give me pause. I began this study assuming it would strengthen my faith, but what happened was I realized my faith was not based on good reason or evidence. Rather, the foundation of my faith was dogma, authority, and subjectivity. Does that make it false? Not at all. But it raises the question of whether I was just lucky to be born in the right place or time to assume the right religion. Meanwhile, other people around the world and throughout history were not as lucky. That idea seems absurd considering the claims of Christianity (eg salvation, heaven, eternal hell for unbelievers). It seems even more absurd when you consider most believers don't think deeply about their faith. It also makes you wonder if Christianity is true, how is it possible that reasonable disbelief in the Bible can be defended? So here I am, on a new journey in my life and belief system. If my life was heading in one direction a few months ago, the trajectory has taken a dramatic shift since. In just this short time I've experienced many things: fear, anxiety, joy, disillusionment, freedom, slavery, loneliness, enlightenment, despair, hope, exhaustion, and wonder. What started me down this path was not a bad experience with people, hypocrisy, illness, death, pain, or evil but rather simple and sober thinking. I once believed I knew some level of absolute truth about this life and the one to come. Belief and trust in the Bible is comforting in that way. Now I am more uncertain and more hesitant to make any dogmatic truth claim (pro-Christian or otherwise). I'm not sure what I believe anymore. Part of me still wonders whether I'm wrong about this, which are the times where I feel anxiety and fear. These ideas are a huge shift for me and a huge threat to those whose lives are wrapped around this flavor of Christianity. I have the sense that this uncertainty is ultimately a good thing and should lead to better thinking and living. I'm cautiously optimistic about the future. Though the implications of this journey will be some negative experiences in the short-term, considering the circles in which I run. I don't know what the future holds or where I will end up. The freethinker in me feels a newfound sense of freedom to think for myself and come to my own conclusions. The humanist in me feels joy, excitement, and wonder about the possibility of exploring reality outside the narrow confines of Christianity. The (ex-?) Christian in me feels anxiety, despair, and fear about the possibility of deviating from the truth. The pragmatist in me cringes about the uncomfortable change in my lifestyle and relationships that is bound to happen if I continue down this path. It's true there are things in life you can't prove or disprove and require faith either way. But I do think there are some things you can prove false that preclude faith. After considering all of the evidence and arguments, I concluded that the Bible is not inspired, inerrant, or infallible. This doctrine is the foundation on which Christianity stands or falls. Without the absolute truth of the Bible, you have no basis for Christianity. Without the veracity of the Old Testament as a whole, the basis of a Messiah like Jesus is eradicated. Without Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden, Paul's theology of mankind's condemnation and Christ's salvation falls flat. Without the veracity of the gospels, the doctrine of the incarnation, virgin birth, miracles, and resurrection of Christ become baseless. On and on it goes. If the claims of Christianity are true, then true saving faith is not in God but in men. That is, the necessary faith is in every Christian pastor, scholar, or theologian that claims the Bible is the word of God. Faith in the early church councils that 'recognized' the canon of inspired Scriptures and established orthodox doctrine. Faith in the anonymous gospel writers. And so on and so forth. If the claims of Christianity are true, then true saving faith is of such character that requires one to check his brain at the door. It requires faith in extraordinary claims in spite of good reason and evidence to doubt them. Such faith as a prerequisite of eternal bliss (while avoiding eternal damnation) seems absurd. My blind faith in the Bible is gone. So here I am, at the start of a great journey, nervous and yet full of excitement and anticipation of what's to come. No longer is the destination and path so narrow and clear. I expect to explore and enjoy life along the way as I go. It's no longer us vs them. I have tossed aside my elitist view of myself, my doctrines, and my church companions. I now have a new perspective and see myself as a part of the whole human race. I now see we're all in this together. Thanks for engaging with me on this. Tom 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 Welcome to the forum, Tom. That is what happens when people start wondering why. It's nice to have you with us. Let us know if you have any questions or other thoughts. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator TrueFreedom Posted September 11, 2015 Moderator Share Posted September 11, 2015 Welcome, Tom! We've all been there. It really changes things once you manage to honestly evaluate the truth claims that you've been indoctrinated with your entire life. Kudos to you for having the courage to take that step. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blood Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 It's remarkable how well religion insulates people, isn't it? You become so used to having your views accepted or affirmed by everyone around you, and society in general, that you take them for granted and completely give up critical thinking. Your brain goes on auto-pilot. And yet this whole superstructure can come collapsing down the minute anyone is able to penetrate through the mental padding with just a simple question. You were taken completely off-guard because religion is given a "free pass" from intense scrutiny in our culture. To question the very foundations of the Bible or religion is strongly discouraged. And so it just metastasizes year after year ... I'm afraid there's no going back. Once Toto pulls back the curtain and you fully realize "God" is really just a man-made illusion, you will never be able to see the world the same way again. Nor should you want to. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 Welcome!! The further away you get from religion, the crazier it'll look in the rearview mirror of your life. Keep us posted on your journey! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 Welcome. Even after my deconversion I was shocked by how strong the arguments against the bible are. I think people whose faith is rooted in biblical inerrancy are extremely vulnerable if they ever once get some outside arguments and scholarly opinions. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
qadeshet Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 "If the claims of Christianity are true..." Then a cruel and vengeful "god" intends to send billions of "his" children to a place of eternal punishment just for not believing correctly. I decided that, even if such a "god" exists, "he" would be unworthy of my love. I could only despise such a "god". The true villain of the Bible is Yahweh. Welcom to Ex-C! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geezer Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 Your story was well written & captivating. I rarely read a long de-conversion story in its entirety but I found yours impossible to put down. I have a couple of former Christian friends I'd like to send your story to, but I'm sure they wouldn't read it seeing as how, at least in their minds, an obvious agent of Satan wrote it. Welcome aboard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ ficino ♦ Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 And people can go for many years thinking, "Wow, all those Christian intellectuals like C.S. Lewis, or (_____ fill in blank). They couldn't be wrong about this!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UnFundEd Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 Excellent story, and very well articulated, Tom. Welcome to the party. It sounds like you and I hail from similar backgrounds, although your departure sounds much more well organized and scholarly mine ever was. I wish you well in your journey, and look forward to reading future posts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsathoggua Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 That was an excellent testimony! Thanks you for sharing your story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomfranklin Posted September 11, 2015 Author Share Posted September 11, 2015 Thank you all for your encouragement. I know I'm at the start of a long road. Looking forward to sharing it with you. Tom 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sdelsolray Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 I was a conservative, evangelical, Reformed, Calvinistic, born-again Christian. ... I believed in Christianity because that's what my parents, school, and church taught me growing up. ... In the past few years, my philosophy on evaluating truth claims (spiritual or not) has shifted. Growing up, I accepted truth claims based on authority. Now I believe people should think for themselves and form convictions based on good reason and evidence. We should not believe something just because someone trustworthy said so. ... I realized my faith was not based on good reason or evidence. Rather, the foundation of my faith was dogma, authority, and subjectivity. Great read, Tom. Welcome to this forum. Take particular note of the above snips from your post. These statements demonstrate you have already shifted from religious faith to rational thinking. You have defeated the religious indoctrination put upon you by trusted adults when you were a child. ... I have the sense that this uncertainty is ultimately a good thing and should lead to better thinking and living. I'm cautiously optimistic about the future. Though the implications of this journey will be some negative experiences in the short-term, considering the circles in which I run. I don't know what the future holds or where I will end up. The freethinker in me feels a newfound sense of freedom to think for myself and come to my own conclusions. The humanist in me feels joy, excitement, and wonder about the possibility of exploring reality outside the narrow confines of Christianity. The (ex-?) Christian in me feels anxiety, despair, and fear about the possibility of deviating from the truth. The pragmatist in me cringes about the uncomfortable change in my lifestyle and relationships that is bound to happen if I continue down this path. ... And you realize you still have the peer pressure to deal with. That part can be long and hard. ... It's true there are things in life you can't prove or disprove and require faith either way. But I do think there are some things you can prove false that preclude faith. ... I would suggest a mid-course correction here. "Proof" only applies to mathematics and logic. Most things in life are not certain. I would suggest abandoning the word faith in the secular context in favor of words such as trust, probability, likelihood, etc.. The word "faith" is a loaded word and has different meanings. To use the word "faith" when dealing with religious dogma is different than using that word with mundane things. The inference, of course, is that you are equating the two situations by using the same word, but you are really using two different definitions of the word. For example: "I have faith that my God created humans." "I have faith that humans evolved from an earlier non-human ancestor." You won't find any scientist or rational thinker saying that second phrase. Instead, they will say something to the effect, "The biological theory of evolution is the best explanation of all available relevant evidence." or "There is a high probability that humans evolved from a predecessor species." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomfranklin Posted September 13, 2015 Author Share Posted September 13, 2015 @Geezer - thanks and you are welcome to share my story with your former friends. I'd even be happy to chat with them if they had questions. @UnFundEd - thanks and I'd love to hear your story sometime. @sdelsolray - thanks, very helpful. I see what you mean. I don't think in terms of faith when I sit in my favorite chair or get on an airplane. I was thinking of logical proofs when I wrote that. For example, you can't mathematically prove the existence of God. Belief in God requires a kind of faith (of a different nature than trust in my automobile, as you rightly pointed out). So while I couldn't prove the existence of God in this manner, I could logically disprove certain religious dogmas. With the example of the current thread, it's possible to disprove the inspiration and inerrancy of the Bible. That fact should render faith in inspiration impossible for a reasonable person who has understood the issues. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted September 13, 2015 Moderator Share Posted September 13, 2015 Welcome to Ex-c, Tom! Thanks for sharing! Looks like your among people who truly understand! It really blows up your worldview, eh? You hang out here with us and it won't be long before you figure out a new one. It certainly will cause a bit of cognitive dissonance for awhile, but you'll be OK. Do a lot of reading Tom. I spent so much time reading before I even joined this site. I thought for sure I was the only person who would dare to question the christian religion and god!! How dare us!! What a joy to find EX-c! I hope you find the same peace that I did. Keep posting all you concerns. there is always someone here to help you. Hug Sincerely, Margee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BendyLine Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 Hey Tom! Thanks for your post. Your post brings back a lot of memories. While I did have some bad experiences that helped me along into asking the tough questions, it was asking the tough questions that finally killed my faith. It was a heartbreaking experience, but I'm so happy I'm on the other side. Looking forward to reading more of your journey! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sdelsolray Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 ... @sdelsolray - thanks, very helpful. I see what you mean. I don't think in terms of faith when I sit in my favorite chair or get on an airplane. I was thinking of logical proofs when I wrote that. For example, you can't mathematically prove the existence of God. Belief in God requires a kind of faith (of a different nature than trust in my automobile, as you rightly pointed out). So while I couldn't prove the existence of God in this manner, I could logically disprove certain religious dogmas. With the example of the current thread, it's possible to disprove the inspiration and inerrancy of the Bible. That fact should render faith in inspiration impossible for a reasonable person who has understood the issues. I thought this was likely when I was writing my post. Still, many posts here are also directed to the lurkers, or address to common theist canards. In this case, I was speaking to the theist canard, "Yes I have faith in my supernatural sky fairies and long list of unsupported bald assertions, but you have (an equivalent) faith in science (e.g., gravity, biological evolution, germ theory of disease, etc.)." It is clear that you already understand the distinction. Many others do not. Duplicitous or inconsistent use of the word "faith" is central to this canard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellinas Posted September 19, 2015 Share Posted September 19, 2015 Welcome. Clear thinking is the enemy of Christianity. As you have shown. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts