Is Suicide Ever Ok?

[Ravenstar]

 

  If you don't trust him, I would find another therapist. You should be able to openly discuss this kind of thing with them. Out of curiosity what do you think is wrong with you?

 

I actually do trust him, although I pretty much told him that he wasn't going to call anyone if he ever wanted to see me again.   So I think we have an understanding.

 

As for what's wrong with me..... I guess the short of it is that i've always felt like sort of an outsider emotionally.  Like I generally can't relate to anyone on an emotional level, because I don't really experience many emotions.  And when I do bond with someone emotionally which is pretty rare, it's always negative emotions because those are the few that I do feel.  I think because of that I don't really put a high value the same things in life that most people do like relationships, stability, spirituality/religion, community, etc.  My nature is the complete opposite - pretty much my entire life has been spent drifting around and alone.  My therapist thinks I have some kind of attachment personality disorder from not bonding with my parents as a baby/child, and I guess that inhibits normal emotional development.  I guess the one positive side to not experiencing much in the way of emotions is that I am one of the most rational people I know, lol.   Whatever -  it is what it is.  

 

I've spent a lot of time like this

 

really.. and I have an insane fear of commitment... ick.

 

I love my daughter like nothing else (which I'm sure started out as a prolonged exposure to oxytocin - now she's just a cool young person) - but I'm not an overly emotional person and I feel a lot of the time that the 'friendships' and the social lives I see around me are .. well, wow. ya, I don't get it, nor do I have the energy for multiple people in my life. I can handle about 5 at a time, and two are my kid and my mom. It's getting a bit better as I grow older - because when I choose to spend time with people now it's because I REALLY like them and just don't think I SHOULD like them. I don't do large groups anymore.

 

My creative and intellectual pursuits bring me more contentment than anything... but I have to sometimes force myself to try new things. I feel best when making something... creating something - otherwise life doesn't really make much sense to me. The 9-5, suburban life depresses the crap outta me.. I need more stimulus than that.. adventure i guess.

 

I have found it feels good to contribute to my 'community' - but it's not really altruistic, I enjoy new opportunities to challenge myself and I've found I'm good at leadership and business... I've backed off of it now, but I've done volunteer work in one capacity or another most of my life - I can't get down on myself for not giving back.  

 

Nature... ya, nature and animals help. I really like animals... and gardening.

 

my psychiatrist said, you seem to have free-floating anhedonia with prior PTSD, and/or attachment disorder, chronic low-level depression and anxiety, but you are also a thinker instead of a feeler, and this is within a normal range for personality. You are neurotic but not psychotic, or personality disordered to a point where it impairs your ability to function. (mild shizoid traits)

 

I had to go on anti-depressants for a while - about a year and a half... and learn DBT - that helped with the depression.

 

I still deal with social anxiety, but it's not debilitating anymore.

 

Maybe something in my experience can help...

[amateur]

http://www.people.com/article/brittany-maynard-died-terminal-brain-cancer

 

Suicide sucks, but I can't blame this woman for killing herself. DWD should be legal everywhere.

This is where I believe suicide is a sensible choice.  Having watched both my parents die from terminal cancer, and working as a caregiver for some people with terminal illnesses, I decided for myself if I ever got a diagnosis of something I didn't want to deal with any longer (for example, my mom battled breast cancer twice with operations, chemo, and radiation, but it came back yet a third time and had spread into her spine and pancreas and was no longer operable but she still had several ok months before the pain got too bad), I would NOT go back into a hospital and let them have my money, but I would take the rest of my money and spend it at pleasantly as I can at a nice resort where I'd be treated like a queen in beautiful surroundings with good food and Italian linens (as opposed to being poked and prodded in a noisy hospital while laying in a hard bed with polyester sheets).  I call it my Death Plan, and my kids know all about it, and I'll invite them to the resort and pay for them to stay a while, too, and while I'm still coherent I'll enjoy their company and let them know how much I adore them.  The, when I run out of money, I'll leave and I have my own suicide method planned.  I'll keep it as tidy as possible (even wearing a Depends because of, you know, urine and bowel movements being released), and my kids will know everything to expect and who and when to call to get my body.

 

I would not expect the government to make DWD good enough for me.  I will take care of it myself.

 

Between my parents, other family members (we tend to die somewhat young), and my clients, I have experienced enough sad, painful, slow deaths.  I simply cannot bear to think of myself going through that.

 

If I die some other way, say quickly in an accident, or shot by a jealous wife, then so be it, and my kids can enjoy my money!

 

My kids also know I want direct cremation (no viewing, no service, just straight to cremation), and I already have my obituary written (I'll update it as needed!).  Yes, I've overthought all of this!  Waaay too many deaths in my family when I was growing up; all we did was go to funerals when I was between the ages of 4 and 10.

 

Another good alternative to cremation or regular cemetery burial is "Green Burial."  Google it if you're interested.  Bodies do NOT need to be embalmed and do NOT need to be put in coffins and cement linings.  It's legal to bury people in a simple wooden coffin or just a shroud, and there are a small number of "Green Cemeteries" in the US, one near me, which we've visited.  It's like walking through the woods!  No tombstones, no acres of mowed grass.  People are allowed to decompose back into the ground!

[Lilith666]

Of course I would intervene if I believed someone was trying to commit suicide, as I would any time a person's life was in danger. I hope if I ever try that, that someone will do the same for me.

 

Is suicide okay? I tend to agree with FlowerDemon, that it's not moral or immoral, because morality is about how you treat others, and to live or not to live is also a personal issue that can have many influences. I think people/doctors should stop intervening when a terminally ill patient who will die shortly would rather go out by choice, instead of by nature.

[Daffodil]

 

http://www.people.com/article/brittany-maynard-died-terminal-brain-cancer

 

Suicide sucks, but I can't blame this woman for killing herself. DWD should be legal everywhere.

 

This is where I believe suicide is a sensible choice.  Having watched both my parents die from terminal cancer, and working as a caregiver for some people with terminal illnesses, I decided for myself if I ever got a diagnosis of something I didn't want to deal with any longer (for example, my mom battled breast cancer twice with operations, chemo, and radiation, but it came back yet a third time and had spread into her spine and pancreas and was no longer operable but she still had several ok months before the pain got too bad), I would NOT go back into a hospital and let them have my money, but I would take the rest of my money and spend it at pleasantly as I can at a nice resort where I'd be treated like a queen in beautiful surroundings with good food and Italian linens (as opposed to being poked and prodded in a noisy hospital while laying in a hard bed with polyester sheets).  I call it my Death Plan, and my kids know all about it, and I'll invite them to the resort and pay for them to stay a while, too, and while I'm still coherent I'll enjoy their company and let them know how much I adore them.  The, when I run out of money, I'll leave and I have my own suicide method planned.  I'll keep it as tidy as possible (even wearing a Depends because of, you know, urine and bowel movements being released), and my kids will know everything to expect and who and when to call to get my body.

 

I would not expect the government to make DWD good enough for me.  I will take care of it myself.

 

Between my parents, other family members (we tend to die somewhat young), and my clients, I have experienced enough sad, painful, slow deaths.  I simply cannot bear to think of myself going through that.

 

If I die some other way, say quickly in an accident, or shot by a jealous wife, then so be it, and my kids can enjoy my money!

 

My kids also know I want direct cremation (no viewing, no service, just straight to cremation), and I already have my obituary written (I'll update it as needed!).  Yes, I've overthought all of this!  Waaay too many deaths in my family when I was growing up; all we did was go to funerals when I was between the ages of 4 and 10.

 

Another good alternative to cremation or regular cemetery burial is "Green Burial."  Google it if you're interested.  Bodies do NOT need to be embalmed and do NOT need to be put in coffins and cement linings.  It's legal to bury people in a simple wooden coffin or just a shroud, and there are a small number of "Green Cemeteries" in the US, one near me, which we've visited.  It's like walking through the woods!  No tombstones, no acres of mowed grass.  People are allowed to decompose back into the ground!

I like how you think! I'm also looking into green cemetaries for the future. I don't want to give any mortuary any money for those ridiculously costly crypts and caskets, and cremation is apparently an environmentally "dirty" process as well. Simple wood casket and let me return to the earth!

[mymistake]

On a related note, I see it would have been Foxy Methoxy's birthday today.  I miss him and I didn't even know him that well.  Yeah, I know he was suffering depresion but I wish something could have been worked out.

[dichotomy]

I'm answering before I read the comments, sorry.

 

Is the question regarding is it morally okay, or do I think it's okay for someone to feel so desperate that suicide is the only way out for them?

 

I answered the poll with the former in mind, so yes, I think suicide is okay from a "moral" stand point and absolutely no ones business to judge another for being suicidal or taking their own life.

 

However I do not think it is *okay* in the sense that I think it is awful that people feel that way and get to that point and would hope that most, with help, would move away from that state of mind and find a way to get something more, or enough from life to want to stay alive.

 

I do not view suicide as cowardly or selfish.

 

I imagine that most (not all) people who commit suicide are in need of some kind of assistance and that many would not commit suicide were they well. 

 

I do not think it possible to prevent all people from taking their own life and I'm not sure how I feel about trying to save them if they make an attempt and you get there in time. I suppose one could say you are preventing them from their autonomy, but that said I'd probably not be able to risk the chance that they may indeed be grateful afterwards.

 

I don't view suicide or euthanasia in the case of terminal or debilitating illness that will only ever get worse the same way as other kinds of suicide.

[dichotomy]

Oh just seen about foxy methoxy, I wasn't around at the time but remember him from before. How sad.