Garbage Christians Say At Funerals

[Lilith666]

Oh my gosh, amateur. I'm sorry you went through that with your grandmother. And thank you for your condolences. I'm glad your family's services kept it classy. What Cousin Ricky said about passing around an offering plate at a funeral and trying to guilt non-donors is - just wow.

[Cabbie]

This thread really got me thinking today. So I texted my sister and told her to have me cremated, throw a big party somewhere marijuana is legal, and have lots of alcohol. She's super christian-ish so I then texted my friend and told her not to let my sister give me a jesusy funeral. Maybe I'll even ban certain phrases from being uttered. "She's in a better place." "God called her home." "She's probably crocheting a scarf for Jesus right now." Nope, you broke the Jesus ban. GTFO.

[older]

Lilith:

 

Sorry for your loss. I hope you have many good memories of your grandfather; I hope you two were able to spend time together.

 

___________________________

 

“Let us pray for those who did not donate to our Christian school.”
 

 

Are you kidding me? That should get the sweepstakes trophy!

 

 

 

 

This thread really got me thinking today. So I texted my sister and told her to have me cremated, throw a big party somewhere marijuana is legal, and have lots of alcohol. She's super christian-ish so I then texted my friend and told her not to let my sister give me a jesusy funeral. Maybe I'll even ban certain phrases from being uttered. "She's in a better place." "God called her home." "She's probably crocheting a scarf for Jesus right now." Nope, you broke the Jesus ban. GTFO.

 

The "She's in a better place," is one of the worst. But the idea of the pot-fueled beer bust is great. (You know the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake? At the wake there is one less drunk.)