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Did Anyone Stop Using Their Mind As A Christian?


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Guest genesis

I was wondering if anyone went through what I went through as a Christian?

 

As I was living my christian life which was for about 5 years tops, did you stop using your thinking faculties?

 

I know I did. I accepted the life of "not I, but Christ" and stopped thinking for myself. I stopped all interests in reading, watching T.V., having plain ol fun, going to the movies and other interests and developed the inability to make decisions as well as reasoning in my life. I depended totally on Christ. I was basically being "a witness to the world."

 

As a result many things happened in my life where people took advantage of my stand "as the christian that I was," and there was nothing I could do because I kept reading verses like, "everything works out for the good for those who love God," meanwhile, "my prayers weren't being answered.

 

I developed a condition called Schizophrenia. I had panic attacks, fears, doubts and social phobias, as well as split personality.

 

I hated what I had become. My baby steps as a Christian were ruled by my aspirations to be "more like Christ" and abandon self but I didn't really want this at all. I wanted, "ME" back. My children, my family noticed how "weird and strange" I would behave and I had no answers to give them, except - I am follower of Christ and it was so, honest to God, LONELY.

 

But the worst part was that I lost the ability to think, my rational self was GONE and I relied heavily on scriputes and the promises that should be given to all christians. I truly HATED my life and what it had become because it was painful to have lost my children due to christianity itself - I became split between "myself" and "Christianity." and thus the Schizophrenia.

 

has anyone experienced something similar? how do you get back to being your normal self?

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Iremeber when I was young in the lort I read the passage that stated,"let christ be formed in you"

even though I was fairly fucked up mentally back then , as apposed to being fucked up mentally now, that passage scared the crap outa me,prayz the lort for dunnies !

"Wha, you mean my personality will diminish while christ's will increase, no thanks."

 

I supose if you keep turning off your brain you would still be in the cult, eventually the things in the cult that you don't agree with or can fathom will eventually have to be addressed and when your "doesn't make sense" box in your head becomes too full you have a decision to make to leave said cult.

 

Some people take longer than others but for me I found that the more I got into xianity the more my "doesn't make sense" box filled up.

Ah the irony, the closer to god you become the further away you become if you are honest enough with yourself to confront those internal dilemmas.

 

normal self ? no such thing as there's too many things around us that influence who we become so you just find something that to you resembles what you consider to be normal and even that doesn't work because you are changing daily.

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One of the things I don't like about fundy xtianity is the message I got, "don't use your mind". Maybe that wasn't supposed to be the message, but that's what came through. :ugh:

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I don't remember ever once letting christianity cause me to use less than my full intellect. However I always did sort of wonder why I never seemed to run into any "smart" christians. Seriously, the number of these I know could still be counted on both hands and I've met several thousand.

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A lot of times I did that, just abandon the brain in my head and rely strictly on emotions and the promises of the Church and the Babble and whatever. When I was most faithful, I was, well, faithfool. I was a fool for the faith, duped into wasting hours of my time talking to myself and thinking I was talking to a god that really cared and would help me out with whatever I needed. Nevermind that most of my prayers weren't being answered and those that seemed to be could be easily explained away be hard work or luck, I set aside my brain and believed in fairy tales.

 

Then again, it does take a certain setting aside of one's intelligence to believe in things like hell, satan, jesus, etc. All these things hinge on such made-up notions it's crazy. Eternal punishment, a fallen angel who has nearly godlike powers but isn't a god, the Lard in disguise dying as a sacrifice to himself to give him a reason to change rules he himself made up - all this requires gradually suspending reason and thinking to accept. Part and parcel of Xianity is the giving up of reason and trusting in this "Christ" person to hook you up 24/7 :Wendywhatever:

 

And there's little so insidious about Xianity as the self-hatred it promotes. Nevermind the phony hell it teaches you to fear daily; it encourages you to live in a real hell, constantly whittling away at yourself like an obsessive Buddhist, trying to separate yourself from yourself rather than just accept who you are and enjoy your unique personality for the short time you're on the earth. Xianity encourages so much self-hatred when the cult is taken as seriously as its most devout followers want people to that it should be investigated and exposed. You're supposed to lower yourself beneath cow-dung just to increase the reputation of some dead Jew on a stick and thereby kiss enough heavenly ass to be rewarded for all eternity. How many healthy personalities have been ruined by this garbage over the centuries?

 

It's no wonder people hate Xianity so very much...

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